₦airaland Forum

OP, apologies for using the name of an animal. You pushed me too far.

I sincerely thought that you have the pre-proposal jitters.

I guessed wrong.

But next time, please lets all refrain from name calling. Its very classy.

nbright: Re read your post again... And what has my post got to do with hungry?..

Hmmmmm, I give up.

Phder: I have no obligation in responding to this, but I will take the pain to do so.

Right from the beginning, it has always been the man's responsibility to cater for his family, the purpose of the wife is to assist (If she is able) and support her husband in making decisions and bringing up the kids.

About your future husband "buying you a house" it's a good thing if he can afford it (take note that not all men can afford this), I hope you get to meet the ones that can afford all that. The most important thing that you should know is that; Money and assets is not what marriage entails; when you marry the right man, houses, car, e.t.c comes with the package.

Say that again. I believe he has the means, the willingness may be the question?
Thanks though.

waternogetenemy: Nne, It is the duty of every husband to provide a shelter for his wife and children. The essence of marriage itself is security and stability for the everybody involved particularly the wife and children. Nothing unreasonable about that.

Thanks, I never heard of it to be part of the bride price, thats why I was worried.

nbright: In my place, when a husband dies even without a will, everything falls to his wife (if his 1st son is still a kid) unless stipulated otherwise in the will... So don't you generalise that all in-laws rush to acquire their brothers wealth after his demise... Go to Benin... Many of the landladies inherited the properties from their late husband's

Not sure why you allowing your Blood pressure to go up

If you go up my thread again and thoroughly read English, I said its my parents take on the matter. Probably they have seen alot of things happening thereby wanting to protect me. smh

Are you hungry perhaps? Grab something to eat.

waternogetenemy:
No my dear, it is not too much of an ask. Dat man [size=18pt]Phder[/size] from ekiti wants to eat ofe owerri with empty hand. Women are finished in yoruba land. onye na ejigi ego oga eri ofe owerri?

Yoruba boy have no business in igbo culture thread, we shall educate u on our culture. comprende...

@ Phder. I found it hard to believe his story as well.

Thanks, Just when I have been thinking it may be unreasonable

ogugua88: ^^ Na wa o.

Op is scared, now that he is about to do it. I don't think he has anyone to talk to hence the silly thread.

I hope he doesn't do anything silly that warrants a slap and spoil everything.

OP, don't behave silly oo. I am warning you.

OP, is other people's opinions directly proportional to what you going to spend?

Seriously, why cant you buy a ring that you can afford and leave other people out of it. Even a ring from your niece's lucky packet, may do Reaaally

As for how long one waits, "Really again". Are you trying to tell NLanders to give you a wedding date. Don't you think your gf is the one to tell you that, if she accepts of cause.

Do you think any of us know your pocket and how financially ready you are??. Seriously dude , seriously. If you want suggestions on a wedding date, I suggest "New years eve"

I think you suffering from "Anxiety", its normal. Before my partner proposed, he kept on fidgeting, and never making sense in all he said that day, behaving like a dog that stole my neighbors eggs. . Very guilty look and asking stupid questions. I almost slapped him that day, he was behaving very weird

I know few months from now when you revisit this thread, you will wonder, how come you asked such a lame question!!!

Good Luck, I can only pray she accepts for your own sake

I am IGBO. My parents always say they want nothing for me from the groom except that the man should ''BUY ME A HOUSE", which will be my and his kids asset/ inheritance. They say rice and all the things on the list add no value to me, as I have been eating rice since birth.

They say
The house should under no circumstances form part of assets to be divided should a divorce prove to be inevitable.
The house should under no circumstances form part of his will or any inheritance should he die.

My parents reasons are,
1) When things don't work out in my marriage, they don't want to see me back in their house with my husbands kids.
2) In case when my husband dies, they also need to be sure that me and my kids shelter is provided, in case my husbands family proves to be greedy by taking all we had. ( as we all know how in-laws in Naija can be greedy and wicked to the widows )


Though my partner is Igbo, I have never said anything to him with regards to possible demands.

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

Lol. Gawd.

A lil bit of truth and a little bit of propaganda

Enegod: i enjoy no shit here...

Ironic

We still bump on each other on Nairaland's corridors.

[quote author=190-the-clown]Thread closed!!

reasons - ASSU and lack of common sense from the OP

[/quote] I knew it

I have seen people getting mad at MODS like "Sexkills" etc for being banned, demanding reinstatement and answers etc.
I have seen devil incarnates People resurrected. etc. Meaning they really enjoy Nairaland, hence their fighting to stay on.

For me its:
Variety of topics ( anything for everyone )
Its informative and keeps me updated
Adds more to my think-tank
Battle ground for " internet troll" ( like 190-the-clown and Mr Cork )
Different personalities in one place. (Cant be better than this)
NOT a day goes by without a dose of laughter
Feels like home away from home


WHY DO YOU ENJOY NAIRALAND

back to the topic

OP, YOU ARE A SNAKE.

Doing hanky panky with other peoples husbands and you call them your own?? smdh

You are an excuse of a human being. Though I wont support it if they acid attack you.

Stay out of this. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

Ihedinobi: @ChineloSA, sometime ago I would've hated to be the one being told what I'm about to tell you.

You sound smart and apparently use your head. That's good. But there's a real place for experience. If you don't know up close and personal what people have suffered, your smart opinions will not be much more than pretty breezes.

Marriage and relationships are work. Work that takes two people to do. Soon your life is so wrapped up with the other person's that you lose your ability to conceive of life without them. Believe it, honey, it is as true as true can be.

For that reason, you'll find that it's only on paper and on wind that you walk away with dignity when someone tries steal your person. It does something worse to you than when you get a splinter under your skin to have some dog or bittch try to get between you and your person.

It isn't making men quasi-gods or making women quasi-goddesses to protect what value your man or woman represents to you. It is simply protecting the value you have in them.

Lala, I think you misunderstood and misinterpreted me I appreciate your criticism.

Nevertheless,if I offended you, please forgive me

lorretta u: honey I love your post. But I guess you're sorta generalizing for the benefit of other sisters out there.

If all that is what you gleaned from my post.then maybe you misunderstood me a bit.

First she doesn't work for her husband.she took him into the busimess .she works with her husband.most people attribute the capital and success of the business to her.
Well for now I know she's heart broken.but I. Sure she'll be back for what's rightfully hers.

As for thinking her beauty will make her marriage work,I don't think she's that vain. I only described her to point out the fact that one can't say the husband didn't find her beautiful enough.


You see, maybe on a different thread where we may be offering advice to single or newly married ladies who are yet to encounter the sometimes nasty aspects of marriage, your above quoted post would be exactly what I'd say.
But here is someone who probably doesn't have a turning point at the moment.who maybe cannot start over.you'd be kidding if you think your advice would be practical for her.


And no body can go into marriage successfully without sacrificing.it's plain common sense.you can't do it detached.for a marriage to work,you've to put in yourself.there's no other way to do it.
It may nor be financial sacrifice.but there are more things to loose than money. In most cases.
Its not about pleasing your husband.how about your kids?

And it's very funny that you think that I lorretta could make a man into a quasi god.lmao.that's like the joke of the year.
You're probably seeing me for the first time on nl. Welcome.

As for getting help, I'll take that as a joke and laugh it off.cos mostly you made sense in ur post.

But be advised. You don't have me figured out.

Snookums , I am so sorry. I admit I may have derailed the topic. I was flabbergasted when you started talkin about killing and acid attack.

I do not condone what the OP is doing. She is a "SELF ABSORBED, SELFISH .......

IM SORRY Please accept my apology, I am in no way implying that I have you figured out

Mwaaaah

Ihedinobi: Mehn! Talk about protecting your turf!

I wouldn't hate it at all if my girl's like that. At all. Please, God, make her one jealous daughter of Eve! Lol. Just as long as she don't go throwing acid on every female I work with or do non-romantic stuff with.

Anaghi m agba n'ezi, but it'd still be nice to have a woman who thinks I'm a big enough prize to protect like that.

It may look sexy initially, but hopefully that acid does not ever get thrown at your face one day.

What makes you think you will be immune to her acid attacks and her jealous behaviours??

lorretta u: both of you are very funny.

Pray that 15 -20 years from your wedding day, you don't get into this sort of mess.
After you've sacrificed your youth time and energy plus resources to build a home only to stand losing your years of hard labour to one greedy slutt. You might do worse than kill her

As we speak I know one such slutt who has managed to send a married woman of many years and pretty kids from her matrimonial home.she left with nothing.cos the business they do is family business.she put all her time and money into it.now it's a well known outfit here in owerri.very popular.even before she managed to drive her from her home,she never let the woman enjoy her husband.always going with him to trips abroad.got him to buy her two jeeps from another woman's hard earned money.
She kept doing this for long until she turned the man against his wife.
Then the battery set in.

He started to beat and abuse the woman who stood by him when he was nothing.the woman who helped him build the family wealth

Now she can't even enjoy the fruits of her labour.
The randy goat of a father doesn't even care if his kids feed or not.

Her cars are being driven by this biytch and her matrimonial bed is being defiled by this jezebel
[b]Meanwhile his wife is the epitome of beauty.this his concubine stands no where in comparison with his wife.imagine what an indian 'half'caste looks like.(Indian mom n calabar dad)she's the embodiment of beauty in herself.
So definitely he couldn't have found his mistress more attractive.
[/b]Only God knows what got into him


You see I can be sweet and loving and my friends say I'm like the most tolerant person they've ever been with.

But I Will KILL any woman who tries to this to me.

No repentance on that stance.

Loretta, the first highlighted, is a big problem with me.
a) I do not encourage anyone to sacrifice anything and put their happiness in the back burner. Marriage should be an institution where you become your best self, not where you sacrifice your best self and dreams to please the other person.
b) I encourage any woman to have her own personal plans which blends with her husbands plans and family plans, to make us one. If you make a man your plan, you will live to regret it.
c) A man is not perfect so expect anything from him, neither he is not a Quasi God.

IF YOU SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO BE SOMEHOW YOUR HUSBAND, LIKELY YOU WILL DISPLAY SUCH ANGER LIKE YOURSELF


Highlighted number 2
a) I do not support abuse ( physical, verbal, emotional, financial etc.), your homegirl went through a lot.
b) if you are financially independent a man gives you some kind of respect, but if somehow you depend on him, he takes advantage. ( Though I am not saying that people should not work for their husbands, but if you decide to do that, make sure that you have some sort of financial power ( e.g, control of shares/proxy, some control of business account etc ),in the business so when things go awry, you still have the power to control your life.

IF YOU GIVE GIVE UP YOU POWER ESPECIALLY FINANCIAL POWER AS A WOMAN, YOU GONNA BE IN SOUP.
AS WOMAN WE FIGHT FOR RIGHTS, MAN GIVE US THOSE RIGHTS AND POWERS AND WE GIVE THEM BACK, WHY DO THAT


Highlighted number 3 Another big mistake
a) Beauty does not make a marriage work. Its just an added advantage to the one who has it, and to the man who can still be attracted to the woman, but it never determines if the marriage will work.
b)Never, ever think that you will keep your marriage together using your face
c) Most beautiful woman have such distorted ideas that if they are beautiful, then your man is suppose to worship you, hence you start displaying bad attitude towards your man ( sometimes physically, emotionally or verbally abusive to the man ). No man can take abuse from any woman, no matter how pretty the woman is

NARCISSISTIC, SELF ABSORBED AND TOO MUCH PRE -OCCUPATION WITH YOUR BEAUTY BEHAVIORS SHOULD STOP IN MARRIAGE. A MAN KNOWS YOU ARE PRETTY AND PROBABLY THATS WHAT ATTRACTED HIM TO YOU. SO WHAT??



All this being said, I don't know what happened to the lady in question. But I salute her for walking away like a lady, even if she was a financial looser.

I would advice any man to stay away from any woman who is capable of acid attack and killing for him. If the woman is capable of doing it to other woman, what makes you immune to her attack. YOU MAY BE YOUR WIFE'S NEXT VICTIM if you show any sign of being imperfect.

Even if I find myself in such a situation in 10-15yrs, I can never kill or acid attack anyone. I will walk away like a lady, with my power that I "NEVER SURRENDERED'' from the beginning.

As a woman
STOP SACRIFICING, ( you are not a sacrificial lamb )
KEEP YOUR POWER
KEEP YOUR LIFE SEPERATE FROM HIS LIFE
In that, you will not get mad when your husband start being imperfect. Your husband will forever respect you and also scared of you because he knows the power you possess and not '' ACID YOU CAN SPILL"

Seriously, you need to get help. You condition falls under Compulsive and Schizophrenics.

lorretta u: You're the reason for this woman's tears
You're the reason married men feel like they can treat their wives anyhow.
Recently another asss hole like you that I know just drove a married woman I know from her home.
Now sleeps in her marital bed. Drives her cars and is the new madam in the beautiful home that she doesn't know how the woman suffered to build
Fo*ck off.
Disgusting biyttch.

So we should clap for you.you don't see yourself breaking up with him.because he's already made.

You're extremely lucky I'm not this your boss madam. You'd just wake up to an acid bath one day.

I don't blame your wicked self. I blame the stupid man who let you entrap him.

You're the reason why ladies like me worry about marriage.who knows after 10-15 years of toiling to build a pretty home. A slutt like you will come out from nowhere and claim she's not ready to 'break up' with my husband!

If you run into me or someone like me in your husband snatching spree
I will kill you!

Make no mistakes about that.

You are a PSYCHIATRIC CANDIDATE.

Diagnosis : Schizophrenic, Dissociative, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder.

No matter what the person does, but acid attack and killling ?? ??

Get some serious help, or else this will work against you. You may repel those whom you love most.

Kslib: @OP, i have the e-book on my lappy and have read red it, i must say "Its powerful" BUT at the same time "Too draining"..

I enjoyed reading it and learned alot but sadly, i just had to delete some important parts of the book from my memory because i discovered that it actually makes thinking more harder for people like me who seize every little opportunity to use my imagination and visualization.

I tried channeling my thoughts just like instructed in the book, but i realized that it just made me too self conscious and the fun of thinking things wasn't there anymore. Knowing that every single thing that happens is as a result of a previous thought just doesn't sit too comfortable with me even if it sounds convincing and true.

All izz well!

Thats the problem, trying too hard. I think you did not apply gratitude. Gratitude will automatically mould your thoughts without you, trying hard.

Be grateful for anything and everything and count your self lucky and you will then have positive thoughts.

Some of the things you mentioned, can be better discussed verbally.

I know one day you will be back using the" LAW OF ATTRACTION ". I went through the same when I could not apply it properly, I gave up. When things went astray, I remembered it I think alot of people go through the same.

All the best.

hayoakins: got the video...would watch and revert later

all the best

Please share when you done. I would like to hear from you.

ppman: Why do ladies like playing games with guys even when they know a guy is sincere? why do they like to take advantage? is it a pay back time or what I don't understand. And when Karma start rewarding them, they will then start to complain. If you meet a sincere man then please be sincere with Him.

Wat happened naa??

You specified and you attracted what you specified. Now you complaining

Discriminating against albino's,shorties, fatties, () and )(

Your perfect wife maybe any of the above but with all the personal attributes

But, keep movin it

Mindependent: Thanks so much for this hun. I guess I learnt the hard way
Never in my life will I ever reveal my true feelings to a guy ever again, it seems I will just get taken advantage of again if I repeat it

You welcome nana. speedy recovery

OP, let me tell you something, do not be fooled by those who have those kids already, telling you that everything is plain sailing.

[b]If its the man
1) they will never admit that they regret it
2) they will never admit how many calls they get from babymama wanting money for the kids ( basically being the babymama's ATM)
3) they will never admit how much the babymama's curse them for not being able to provide all she wants
4) they will never admit how much stress they get towards month end having to split that salary to all his kids
5) they will never admit how many fights they have with babymama's when the kids have to attend his family gatherings.
6) some will not admit how the grandparents punish them for impregnating their daughter by denying the child to use his surname,
7) they will never admit how the babymama's disturb their new relationshps, the list goes on.

If its a woman
1) she will never admit how hard it is to get that maintenance
2) she will never admit how sometimes he begs him to spend time with his child
3) she will never admit how her calls get ignored by the babydady
4) she will never admit how she gets hurt seeing the babyday spending his money on himself and expensive cars while he could not take his child to a private school
5) she will never tell you how much she curses the man to get anything including his attention when the child is sick, naughty etc.[/b]

So the choice is yours

Again there is very little that you can tell that child with regards to values, rules, fear of God. Because you are the living example. She/he will follow in you footsteps.

AMEN

[quote
author=Chibuhealth]Get a cement block like two or three,carry it about
whenever u re with her so dat u can be able to stand on it to make d
hight equal or rather get a high heel shoe.[/quote]lol.rolling on my floor

[quote author=-Mr Cork-][..the light skin females r usually the wifey material..(no offense) [/quote]
TRIFLING

Nothing is better

Mindependent: Did I do it to quick?
I heard from one of our mutual friends that he only took advantage of me because of my feelings towards him and that he had no feelings for me. I should have just kept it to myself

Of course Nana, that was way, way too fast. Never do that again, ever.

Man wont admit that, they are old fashioned when it come to that, that is a turn off. Unless he is looking for a short term hanky panky and fun, but nothing serious.
When u jump on it faster than a rabbit on steroids, they rub you off " the potential girlfriend/ wife " list. A man thinks you do it to all other man all the time.

If you did not give the goodies away just like that, even if you you get hurt, you will not feel this awful. thats the truth. The nookie is not just for dishing it out just like that hell no.

Next time learn to postpone the dishing and focus on knowing the person.

Personally i wouldn't approach a man, in future I would advice you never to approach the guy, its clear you cant handle it, luv. If a man wants you, he must come to you. period. Or else initiate friendship, if he doesn't get it, its his lose.