₦airaland Forum

UnbiasTruth:
I am sorry this is rather too long but please I need to pour out my mind because I need your mature advice. I have been going through a lot of trauma since my husband stopped working and it is really getting to me because my blood pressure is high.

I love my husband and despite what is happening now, I still love him. I just need advice on how to manage the situation right now.

My husband is a hard-working, loving, caring and gentle man; he showed me true love from the first day I met him. He was very dedicated to his job and he received commendations from his boss and colleagues at work but something just happened that led to his resignation.

A kind of conspiracy against him. He was advised by one of his superiors at work to resign. Now it’s been more than a year that he is out of job. All attempts to get him back into the labour force had been futile because he keeps saying he does not want to settle for less.

He was earning six figure salary while at his former place of work and he has a side business which he still manages till now but the profit is close to nothing and it is not even constant.

Now, the issue I have with him is that my husband gets angry at almost everything. He nags and drinks (not with friends because he is an introvert) excessively, so he is always at home. He keeps on complaining about our house helps even when I investigate and realize that most of his complaints are flimsy. We have changed house helps in this year up to 4 times.

So, in August this year, I decided not to get any maid again since we could not find one whose domestic care service would satisfy my husband.

Mind you, I have been the one practically footing the bill after two months that my husband lost his job because we made a huge investment in acquiring some property shortly before he lost his job. So, I pay house rent, school fees, feed the whole family (we have 3 lovely children) from my salary.

My nature of work rarely gives me time so I can’t afford to take care of the children and do much of the house chores. I explained to my husband to assist since he is always at home but he keeps saying if he had not lost his job, I wouldn’t have asked him to do basic house chores.

I know he was raised with silver spoon so he rarely knows how to do most domestic work. I had been the one doing this before we started having house helps and my job at office got more engaging.

My pastor recently advised that I should consider getting a professional cleaner who will only do some routine cleaning and leave immediately because my husband may not be comfortable with a stranger in the house.

Two days ago, I came across a thread https://www.nairaland.com/5426688/what-cost-getting-regular-home here on Nairaland while searching for a good cleaning service here in Lagos and I decided to pay for the service of a male cleaner.

After discussing with my husband, he shunned the idea and still insists I do it myself. So, he asked me to demand a refund. I need someone to help me do some basic cleaning at home since I can afford to pay for the service, but my husband does not want to accept any stranger in our home.

I have asked my pastor and my mother-in-law to talk to him also but he is still keeping deaf hear.

Is there anyone with a better suggestion before I get fed up?

Just the way you have narrated this here, explain it to him but in another dimension. Prepare him his best meal, give him mind blowing sex and after that, get him into a discussion. Do not discuss with him while laying on the bed. Get him to be sitted uprightly and you also sit in front of him. Hold his two hands, eulogize him and say very sweet things to him. All the good things about him that he does, say it to him and praise him to high heavens and tell him how lucky you are to have him. After doing all that, ask him for a favor. Tell him the stress of coping with house chores and work is already taking its toll on you and your boss is already complaining. Tell him that if you lose your job now, things would get too bad for you guys as there would be no help coming from anywhere. Beg him to please allow you guys hire a professional cleaner who comes from time to time. Hopefully, he'd be able to reason properly with you.

Hi

The 2003-2007 Toyota corolla stops counting when its odometer clocks 299,999.00. I've seen that happen on about 3-4 different units. The engine would continue running fine but it won't rack up extra digits on the odometer.

Benclever1:
I don't want any child out of wedlock. But this lady assured me that if she gets pregnant she won't bother me for anything. She would take care of herself and the baby, unless I want to be involved. But she won't marry me.

Dude, you're about to mess yourself up. Do not believe a word of what she says.

Fountainofyouth:
It really beats me that a guy, at the climax of arousal and urge, would really not have the sex raw, no matter the consequences.

It's not a big deal. Not every guy out there is a dummy and even some dummies still have sense when it comes to things like this. I've been in that position and what got me turned off was the whitish liquid like milk coming out of the ladies breast and she claimed she wasn't pregnant or whatever. I ended up using excuse of I don't have condoms and I can't knack you without protection, to discharge her. She tried very hard to make me succumb and I refused. That was the first and last time I ever saw her again.

erico2k2:
And how did you come to the conclusion that these cars came fru Apapa Port and not throug Land borders?

I know because my office was sealed along with all my colleagues selling vehicles. The customs would just drive to your lot and tell you they are sealing it based on order from above and that you should take the documents of your cars to their FOU. They don't inspect your papers before locking up your lot. When you get there, they'd start telling you that you did not pay complete duty at the port when clearing the vehicles. The money we pay for clearing is usually based on the valuation the customs give to the cars. Ask them why they cannot make clearing of cars transparent in a manner where the actual duty to be paid on each car is listed online and you can see it from the comfort of your living room. At the port, there's no exact amount that is set as a standard fee for each vehicle. Whatever you are given as Valuation is what you pay based on.

9jatriot:
They should go and pay the custom duties before selling the cars. They want to sell the cars without paying the required custom duties so that unsuspecting car buyers will be stopped along Benin road and made to go and pay the required sum. I support custom holding dealers responsible rather than individuals who confidently go around thinking the dealers have paid their duties.

Stop sounding like an idiot. 95% of the cars being locked up in car lots all came from the apapa wharf and were duly cleared and released by customs(they have exit notes to show they came out of the Lagos ports). You can't get your car out of the port after clearing without obtaining an exit note. Question you should be asking is how come cars that were duly inspected and cleared by customs officials to leave the port, are being held for not having duties.

Why not just butcher her into pieces and throw away her filthy carcass in the bush?

The kind of elections conducted under Buhari's government is a reflection of the government of the day. An illegitimate, fraudulent and despicable government. I watched videos of thugs aided by politicians, carting away electoral materials after shooting and chasing voters away and I couldn't believe my eyes. Our policemen and soldiers were giving cover to these criminals. In some of the videos, the policemen even joined to help to carry ballot boxes. This is the type of elections Buhari with his foul stench of "integrity" is supervising and bequeathing to Nigerians. Such a sad tale.

Still selling

Bump

.

.

.

.

Good morning

Still selling

Good morning

Roads within the country are death traps and in sorry states but we are spending money constructing roads to link other countries. Why is this country so messed up like this?

Buffalo2:
Infact you got those names pam! Tao and muftau

That's how one was telling me today that my brain box was faulty. I told him it wasn't brainbox issue that was wrong with my car but he still kept saying it's brainbox. In my mind, I'm like this idiot doesn't know how much the brainbox of a 2012 sienna is, that he is just calling like that. I ignored him until a competent rewire came and fixed what was wrong with it. Like say I be jjc, na so e for commit me on top am, go de make me waste money.

Preator:
Please, I need suggestion on a SUV (tokunbo/Nigerian used) that is maintenance friendly. I need it primarily to commute to and from work. My budget is 1.4m.
I have checked out some Honda CRV, Toyota RaV4 and Hyundai's santa fe and ix35 (on Jiji only to get idea) . Its all confusing

You can get this toks 2005 Toyota Rav4 for 1.8m

Damn!!! This country is doomed. Hate speech offenders to die by hanging but public office holders who loot the treasury can claim being sick and unable to stand trial.

TheGiftedOne:
I'm ashamed of you for insulting someone just because he made a recommendation. Who made you Toyota Ambassador? These are the kinda people who knows nothing about cars. And He's here jumping up and down like an antelope caught up in a trap.

When you're bereft of what to contribute why not keep quiet?

Don't mind them. People with little or no experience on vehicles be out there regurgitating the illiterate knowledge about cars that they heard from one Tao and Muftau that did not even finish primary six before going to learn work as mechanics. It's poverty and lack of exposure that would make any body utter the statement "it's either Toyota or nothing". Let God give you grace to drive solid SUVs and you'd know Toyota is nothing compared to the likes of Mercedes-Benz, BMW and Land Rover products.

All I can say is fvck you nigga. No matter what the circumstances is, the moment you are married to someone, you are married. It doesn't matter what made you marry the person. I see you as a selfish muthafvcker. Don't go screwing a lady you won't marry without condom, you guys won't hear. I wonder what you were expecting by fvcking her without condom. Were you expecting chicken and chips or starch and banga soup to come out of it? You messed up the new girl with your excessive lies. You could have told her the truth from the onset and allow her make up her mind if she wants to still ride with you or not. I keep saying it that there are very few responsible men out there and any lady lucky to be dating one, should count herself lucky to have found a jewel. If I am silly and stupid enough to sleep with a girl without condom, I should be sensible enough to know I must marry her if she takes in irrespective of whether she's my kind of person. That's what taking up responsibility for your actions entails. You and your wife should settle your issues amicably and leave the other girl of of your messy life. One thing I can say about you is that you are not matured enough(forget about your age) and you are the type of person who struggles with being responsible. If you continue like this, you would have a very messy family in future cos you lack discipline. Work on yourself.

abuwasilah:
How far with this ride?

Available

Good morning

Bump

Those of you who agree with that girl called sugabelly, have brain tumor. It's obvious you guys haven't seen enough of his body of works. He has acted several movie roles ranging from being a successful business man in a movie, to being a king in a movie, to being a poor man in a movie, to being a ritualist in a movie, to being a soldier in a movie, to being a responsible family man in a movie, etc. How you guys tend to believe he is a stereotyped actor who only acts one particular role, surprises me.

Does the fact that Wesley snipes, Jean Claude van damme, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and co are always acting movies where they are always the hero of the day, mean they are bad actors? Jackie Chan was always the hero of the day in every movie he has acted in; does that make him a bad actor? I don't know why but I feel most of you young chaps of this generation actually have low IQ and brain processing capabilities of a 1981 16 bit MS dos operating system capable of reading floppy disk size of 2.88mb in 2019. Such a sad thing.

Still selling

When will this house boy eventually develop the balls to quit this useless govt and regain the respect that he deserves? Just when?

2007 toks Honda crv 2.550

What kind of foolish talk is this one? I thought elderly people are supposed to have sense and wisdom? Nnamdi kanu wasn't released, discharge and acquitted from his case with the FG. He was released on bail and he absconded. He better stay away from Nigeria or get ready to go back to kuje prison without the option of bail at all cos if he makes the mistake of landing in any of the airports, he would be arrested and taken to prison straight. He won't even be able to bury his mother.