₦airaland Forum

oboman: I absolutely agree with your opinion but what if the single girl knows he is married and continues the relationship with him, who is then to blame? Would you still absolve the single girl of any blame?

pickabeau1: Believe what u will also

Girls should stop opening their punny to every tom dik harry...maybe there will be sanity

That cleaned up dude I r eyeing..someone made him attractive that u could see.

TV01: Men are characterised as abusers and boys are to blame? Sounds suspiciously like blaming rape on scantily clad dressing by women?

no the parents are to blame.they are the ones raising the generation of men who give everyone the impression that sex is all about what a man is which in turn subconsciously makes people misread any innocent gesture a man makes. Even men stereotype others too. A father will most likely leave his daughter or son in the care of a woman rather than a man.

Even if boys are more aware of sexxual abuse - and to report it - by older females, how will that remove the unfair stereotype that men are the majority abusers?

some people all their lives have not heard of more than 3 cases where a woman abused a boy. But It does happen. If they reported more,no person can claim ignorant of the fact that female abusers exist as much as male abusers too. Tell me how that won't stop focusing the light on men all the time as the only gender that commits sexual offense.

Say, I agree with you - and in part I do - how does parents giving equal emphasis on sex education to both boys and girls change things, except that it may lead to increased reporting of women. Even where women are indicted as molesters, they are rarely characterised or punished in the same way as men.

apart from leading to them reporting abuse more often,it can help growing boys develop sexual consciousness or restraint. Unlike the anything-female-goes attitude some men display. Generally Women are warned severely of sexxual consequences that before we are adults,we have already become sexxually principled.

I know a lot of persons won't agree with this point. They believe in male sexuall freedom. I don't begrudge them their opinions. But I think they don't have a right to complain when after championing such behavior,women become wary around men because of what they have been made to believe about men. They can't eat their cakes and have it.


How does men liking sex lead to the belief that they are sexual abusers of children? Are those that like money implicitly thieves, or lovers of food gluttons? Casanovas? Gigolos, playboys, all yes,but abusers of children?

I didn't see the topic stating categorically that men only sexually molest kids. So that was meant to cover every aspect of sexu'al abuse. That said,do you not see how easy it is for someone who believes men can't do without sex to also believe that a man can do anything even if it's molest a child to get it? So one thing leads to another. When they start believing one,they may involuntarily start believing the other.even when they don't voice it.


Presumably with women, not children?



We should be equally wary about both boys and girls.

agreed. But I can't speak for those who haven't been enlightened about female sex offenders. It's not their fault they only always hear about male offenders

But the truth is the stereotype of men as abusers is not due to the voracious sexual appetite of some men.

I would like to learn your opinion on what you think contributes to it.even if those my two points are correct,there are probably more reasons why the stereotype holds. So your opinion pls.


To say that the stereotype of men as sexual abusers of children is due to the voracious appetites of some, or the failure of boys to report sexual abuse against them is way wide of the mark.

I don't see how it is.


In the West at least, it's a common feminist trope that all men are violent/abusers/rapist etc. It's pushed by the media and even embedded into the socialisation process. And, it's part of that same trope, media and socialisation that downplays female on child abuse, amplifies male on child abuse and generally characterises males as violent.

in the west you say. But in nigeria here what leads to that stereotype?
I can confidently tell you that I've NEVER read news where a Nigerian woman was arrested for sexually molesting a boy. Does it mean it has never happened?
So the impression that males commit the rapee offense more is not fuled by any feminist whatever ish around here.let's try at least call a spade a spade. Feminism didn't accuse any nigerian man of being a rapist. The real life reports do.
It is simply because more cases of men raping women and girls is what we have in the news. Do you still think my opinion of the report cases being a chief contributor to the stereotype is way off the mark?


It's now so bad, that young boys are medicalised for normal boisterous behaviour - or, simply put, because they don't behave like little girls.

hmm. I didn't know that. So what example of these normal boisteruous behaviours have led to little boys being medicalized?

I omit male homosexual abuse for the purpose of this piece, as presumably that's on boys, so although it may well feed the stereotype, should make parents more conscious of the safety of their boys.

I agree

Men &/or boys are niether the root or the solution to this unfair characterisation.


so women are? And if your answer is yes,why?


TV

GoodFaith: what ?

GoodFaith: Ask the lady here that imported Belgium made
Belgium made had two Ladies, Belgium wife and Nigeria baby mama
U including her that make three, I hope she have a baby for him soon
secretive, lying and manipulative b?

SAMBARRY: ahen use this one and do appetizer so your skin will be more yellow like monalisa chinda

exxell: How is it funny

armyofone: Accept her account of the story, it is hers...why are you assuming now ?
Cococandy, that is where most women fail, to focus and deal with their husbands.

SAMBARRY: soyoyo o


is it easy to ignore a yellow sisi with figure 8 ?

pickabeau1: Story for the Marines

You saw a well dressed man looking responsible middle aged and assumed he was single

Your naïveté is astounding
For you a woman in her mid to late 20s to be believing a man in his late 30s or early 40s not married or at best a divorcee or widower is comical

At best you are an exception ...

Girls know.... Why do girls want some other woman's 'useless' husband

Why coco why?

jaybee3: Abeg Collect Z phone the next he comes knocking

damiso: That 'side chick' 'main chick' rubbish irritated the heck out of me even as a young impressionable teenager.I too don't get why the other woman is the person woman tend to fight and not the man who is their husband i don't get it.I hardly hear men calling the other man to 'warn' or threaten them when their wives cheat. Even if they call him its to tell him you can have her

That said I also agree that single people could have principles and say i dont date married people.My mum said when she was in university it was a taboo to date married men people that did it were doing it on the down low and could not even tell people they had a sugar daddy. Fast forward to my days it was a thing of pride (to some sha) to date aristos and be seen as a 'big girl'.I even knew someone who used to say 'every girl needs an aristo' SMH.Funny enough she had a boyfriend who she is now happily married to and based on the fact that the boy is good (proper nerd and still is)I don't think any karma anything has caught up with her.. Life sha.

SAMBARRY: chaiiii coco this ya tory sweet no be small. I enjoy am


but question for you

1.why did you bother explaining or trying to convince her that nothing was going on between you and him

2.throughout the wooing process did you collect money, I phone or clothes from him


don't lie o God is washin you





Ahen as for the vegetable you asked for. It's here na

TV01: Only, it's not the boys that are perpetuating or the cause of the stereotype is it?
TV

coogar: nah.....
you are getting the dynamics wrong. a woman should share the blame if her hubby cheats on her.



i don't disagree with the above if the wife at home is doing her duties. it is human nature to seek out comfort when they are not receiving what they need at home.



virgins got cheated on by her husband? she deserves it - she has been starving her hubby.

see....when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs.



that's a different thing altogether - you are a woman. the decision to sleep around ultimately lies with you & you only. even if a man wants to cheat, there's no guarantee he would succeed cos he still needs the approval of the woman he wants to cheat with.

you said so yourself here.....


there's a reason both genders feel the woman is the key to any marital infidelity. she's the one that holds the key whether sėx would happen or not. a man has no such powers unless in the case of räpe - which is a criminal offence.



if the single person here is a woman, she carries the blame 100%.

SAMBARRY: Gbam. You have nailed it. Better girl.oya take am

coogar: so a single person has no common sense to resist such offers? a single person has no common sense that one day she would be married & she wouldn't want to experience such agony?

pickabeau1: Most times d girls don't know what?
Story for d gods....


Believe that and believe anything

BananaBender: Babez, abeg take cold bear.

https://images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/0-999/640/800/Copyrighted_Image_Reuse_Prohibited_474644.jpg

carefreewannabe: It doesn't matter, the institution is more important than human life.

TV01: Harsh huh? But there is reasoning behind it;

1. It focuses one to not just enter marriage anyhow - understand and commit to it with the right person
2. It puts a lid on frivolous divorce - which is becoming more common and hence normal, and aided by lopsided divorce laws
3. If you knew you couldn't simply remarry, you make every effort to get it right and keep it working. Celibacy is a motivator !
4. At a stroke it also reduces a number of societal ills
5. It's close to the bible reading - divorce does not pre-suppose remarriage

Harsh but purposefully so.


TV

Chillisauce: you are missing my dear

***singing, l'escargot...l'escargot....mon cher l'escargot***

i love it well garnished. See food is the bomb.

crackhaus: When you quit getting upset over my antics of yesterday and today 'apparently', you'll begin to feel it.

zboyd: You're very right! This is serious business!

Example:

Andrea Yates: Ill or Evil?

http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/women/andrea_yates/index.html

zboyd: So...must the cheated on party hire a private detective to follow the cheating spouse around, take pictures, record a video, provide proof of having contracted an STD, etc.?

Nonsense!

crackhaus: Hmmm

Since my divorce in 1993, I no longer could accept the religion I was brought up in, for many reasons. Although leaving the religion on my own accord lead to the church decision to excommunicate me, therefore losing contact with my family and then-close friends

zboyd: .