₦airaland Forum

Go and try it with your wife first. Let's see how strong you are

krall:
just thank ur god i didnt marry you. i will bring 2nd wife and you will not do me anything.
i am strong both in the lord and in the muscle.

And not just that he broke the news in a subtle manner.the second wife opened the door for madam when she came back.

To be honest I think what I typed there was a bit too ladylike(even for me)

For some people with real jaguda wives,that may be their last day.

Reminds me of the man who died last year in a murder suicide case. First wife poured petrol inside their room and called darling hubby in 'to talk' then set them both ablaze.

Some suicidal men go just dey bring second wife when they've not written their wills.

3cycle:
Abi oo

A man bold enough to get a second shouldn't be scared of spreading the news to his dear wife

Have you heard the igbo adage that says "when the farmer sees something bigger than his farm,he sells his barn"

Bizzare times call for bizzare measures

Tallesty1:
Abia.



It is possible sha.

I heard that people see/do weird things when they faint.

You would agree if it says women are higher in number. No be so?
What reason would the workers have for inflating male population figures?

The pressure on wives to give birth to sons so as to continue the heritage (whatever that means) and to avoid being replaced by a malechild-bearing second wife is enough to tell you that the rate of male child occurences in nigeria Is probably higher than the 102males per 100females that is the world standard.

DailyNews: those figures are so fake and incorrect dear imagine how many men of marriageable age that have been killed in the fight against Boko Haram- bothe the Boko boys, our gallant soldiers and the youth victims. I am sure that figure wasn't captured in that index.

Nigeria has no correct census. In fact, no one except God knows the actual population of Nigeria because I witnessed the last census and it was bullshit done just for political reasons- to gain more political wards, to get more government revenue allocations, etc so people were just fixing figures as they like.

So carefree, forget those figures as far as Nigeria is concerned, that's the truth, so no polyandry for you

Ike okwu adighi m today

I haven't said all those things you listed don't happen.
I'm just saying that despite them,the population of men is not lower than that of women.
There's no shortage of men.
As evidenced by accessible records.

All women need to do is reassess what counts as eligibility to them. Simple.

DailyNews: my dear, u don't need to argue the fact that there are limited number of eligible or marriageable single men compared to marriageable single women because many things ought to tell u that without external words.

It has become a tradition for women never to marry guys they senior- I know u won't even date one talkless of marry.

Can u date a guy u gave say 5years? I am sure nope! But guys can date or marry a lady they gave even 10yrs or more- blame nature n society not men.

Men engage in violent acts that leads to sudden death than women- Boko Haram, ISIS, Al Shabab, drug peddling, robbery, cultism, crime fight, war, etc, etc.

Men engage in more deadly human endeavors which make many men of marriageable age to die before their time and thereby reducing the number of marriageable men.

In Nigeria for instance, so much pressure and forces are against the male child causing him early death or exposing him to premature death than his female siblings.

So many other reasons my dear...don't doubt it- we have more number of single ladies ripe and ready for marriage than marriageable single guys, and with the way things are going- crime and terrorism on the increase, the number of marrriageable men will drop not just in Nigeria but in the world as a whole; that's y we all need to pray for a global peace and unity.

See question

Toks2008: All the time?, like how many times?

If they use second wife to threaten us.
What they see is what they get

krall: this is why I fear you people.

Indulging in diabolical and fetish means and patronising "akpuobi" boys to intimidate their husbands.

If I go to owerri and I don't eat chanel O sharwama,then something is wrong.

beeevan: I dey sister, Ibari ogwa and 4040 added to the list . You don chop channel O sharwama?


Just saw the sharwama is already on your list, i had to modify.

Do you know what akpuobi means?

And what's your business how I plan to achieve it? Do you know if I have jazz?

Face the topic. Give your own response and leave mine alone

krall: because they are plantain leaf that you can just carry and lock outside.
Please be realistic.

Eya. Such fallacy.
There are 102 males born for every 100 females.

the rest are speculations as the last census shows that there are approximately as much men as women and in some countires more men than women even.

The problem is the word 'eligibility'
When many women are hoping to marry a rich man they tend to overlook the single not so rich guys out there.

The women who don't see money as the first on the list of desirable traits will attest that there's no shortage of marriageable men

Again

Men generally do the proposing and since many men have commitment phobia... You know the rest.

donpeey22: The male chromosome (xy) has lower chances of survival than the female chromosome (xx), so the chances of a couple having more female babies are higher. More men are victims of war and other crises(e.g, boko haram et al) . Men are more involved in hazardous jobs, so they are more exposed to death by accident than women. Considering the above reasons, the poster that implied that the population of women is higher than that of men , is not far from the truth.

Your dad sha

Erm what will I do?
1)
Check his temperature first to see if he's still alright.
(Dude has to be suicidal to try that with me)
2)
Check the date to see if it's april fool's joke.
If neither,

Lock them both outside and call some akpuobi ppl to come and whisk them away.
Change the locks the next day.
And settle the rest in court.

Beeevan. How far?

I dey go owerri yay!
Add ibariogwa nkwobi to that list

Cosigned. Stamped and fingerprinted by me!

If a man isn't crazy about me,I can't be with him.
Worked for me all the time. All the time.

Toks2008: This is my candid advice for the young eoman out there who still probably have time talking about ladies of 25yrs or below.

I keep telling ladies and when i write things like this it seems im stupid or i too know.

Marrying a man is not about your feelings towards him but his feelings towards you and its not about six packs,tall height,cute looks or even the cheese in his pocket.

A lady needs a man that will truly cherish her and every other thing is secondary and if you think i am blabbing,go do your research and you will realize that no matter how you think you love a guy,if he treats you like serious shit,that love you have for him will fly through the window.

It really matters to like the man in your life i know but trust me,if that man treats you well and i mean like a real queen,i give you a short while and you will wake up one day to realize how deeply you have fallen for him too even if he is a short fat ugly guy..Please think deep before falling for that sweet tongue guy.

As a lady,you an an endangered specie in this cruel world of man and your love for a man is so insignificant if he does not love you and your strong desire for a guy who does not truly desire you is the greatest mistake you will ever make.

The most unfortunate twist to this is that most ladies know a ,man who truly loves and cherishes them but they are always like "Tunde loves me i know but i don't love him" and she ends up with a man that will treat her like plague so i keep wondering that if ladies will only go for a guy who truly cherishes them, we will have many ladies settling down fast and will also have a very very low rate of divorce.

Be with a man who have strong feelings for you and not the one you have strong feelings for.

I can't stress this enough.

So the men die before they are mature enough to marry leaving only a fraction behind?

donpeey22: I am sure you haven't read about the survival chances of the xx and xy chromosomes, but you should have known that more men than women are exposed to early death by accident, war etc. Average life expectancy for men is lower than that of women, or do you think those that gave the figures are foolish.?

Somwhere between 4 and 3.
Mine isn't there

Eligibility is subject to interpretation.
When women look at the real things that matter and not ONLY use money as measure of eligibility,they'll know that there are more than enough men to go round.

Goodnight

coogar: per eligible bachelor....

how is it a lie?

''The last census showed a female-dominated demographic with more women per eligible bachelor.

This is a lie

I was surprised too.

carefreewannabe: Do you know how many women died when giving birth in the past?

This number has dropped in the last years.

Ok.

Anyway I'm wondering what kind of person will let him/herself be toyed with and family disrespected like that.

Even if he marries a bad wife,it's up to him to draw a line beyond which she can't cross without causing some serious ruckus.

No matter how much money she makes more than him,if he doesn't let her get away with disrespecting his family,she won't.

If I'm the man's family,I won't even be upset with the lady but with the man who gave room for such.

They better stay away and avoid communication totally. When he sees he's losing their affection,if he values them he'll come back to his senses.

If he doesn't,his loss.

I can't imagine myself turning my back on a family that raised me because I got married.
As I'd have easily grown to full adulthood and got married without their support.

What bollocks!

SeaGold: Cocoa, trust me. No man would want to mistreat his parents and siblings if there are no underhand forces manipulating him and in this case the wife is the culprit. That's the fact more especially when you consider she is the bread winner of the family. But all in all, she good to her "puppet" cos she recently replaced the husband old car with a used SUV. So in my admission, a jobless man will certainly do the bidding of a supportive wife.

My grouse is, why will he allow her to manipulate him against his own people. Look, I am not against them sending the husband people away, but the proper thing should have been to giving them ample time to leave than this sudden "throwing" out. The "victim" explicitly complained that the wife instigated and sacked them.

The man hasn't complained about her behaviour. There are many interpretations to that.
Which maybe that she's acting out the husband's desires towards his family.
I believe if you respect your family,your wife will automatically respect them too. Or at least pretend to.
This wife according to the OP doesn't even pretend to. So you can't truly tell if she's the one manipulating her husband or just acting out the sentiments he shares with her in the privacy of their bedroom.

troy20: there is no assumption in what is true.even if it where made based on inference.the comments against her where also made based on experience.

If you don't know the details don't assume.

OP I agree with you

Gbam

beeevan: Why don't she focus and raise her child, she is actually dragging this dude thrashing and kicking to be a father. The resources for the test is better off utilized raising the kid. Isn't it obvious that the dude is not interested in this child irrespective of what DNA has to say?

WORD.

Btw happy birthday dear. Longevity and prosperity

Ishilove: This is for those blaming the whiteman for our present woes. Africans were fully involved in slavery, often leading raiding expeditions into villages and carting away their brothers and sisters to sell to the white slavers and domestic slavery.

Thomas Fuller was a genius whose ingenuity was sacrificed on the altar of a few coppers. Africans: We are our own worst enemy.

Very very

Pavore9: Fascinating.

@ topic the mother. Especially if the kids are still small and assuming she hasn't been found unfit.

But if the kids aren't infants or toddlers anymore,joint/shared custody is the best.

Get a good girl friend to take care of another woman's child? I assume this girlfriend will now play the role of his mother while the mother stands by the corner and stares?

NairaMode: The father can do the following depending on the age but I guess it's a little child right? If it is he can:
Get a good girlfriend (An ex)
Take the child to his mother
Get a live-in nanny or
Devote more time to the child on weekends.

Children can easily acclimatize and so it's not really about the mother or the father showing love. It's about getting genuine love from whoever they are with and that can be arranged.

Are you getting divorced.

Thank God you're not with him now and you're happier and better for it.
Whatever else anybody would like to make of your situation or blame you for is certainly their business and shouldn't bother you.

Cheers

You buy bread come from ya travel?

shoefreak: Hello hello hello!!! Anyone miss me?! Naijababe, howdy? Wetin be spartacus? when I no be meat?!!! Aspara kor! Tea leaves ni!!! Ontop say u wan chop eja yiyan! Na wa ooo!

! Cococandy honey! Moca! And the others. How una dey? And edwife too.

Where is Ewuro? I kinda miss her. She get better sense well well!

Teaching someone what is proper or normal doesn't mean you chain them to do what you've taught.that's what I mean by letting them do what they wish as long as it's not the law.

After having taught them believing they've learned,when they are adults they have the 'freedom' to choose what to follow but must be prepared for the consequences.
So a guy who's chosen randiness shouldn't complain when women are wary around him.(Consequence)

There shouldn't be laws stopping people from let's say wearing what they want to wear or having sex before marriage(things like that)

But parents must teach hoping that when these kids are adults they'll remember but if they decide willingly to go the other way,they are aware and prepared for the consequences.

TV01: Cool.

And no, I'm not ascribing anything to you. But having said that, it must prove a little problematic to reconcile "let everyone do what they like - as long as they don't cause harm to others" with "leaning towards seexual restraint for all"?


TV

Your points are noted.

Just for clarification. I do not champion sexxual freedom for all. I'm leaning more towards teaching sexxual conservatism/restraint for all despite gender

TV01: This is not fact and I'm not sure it swings anecdotally either. Firstly, I know of no partents - and definitely not men - here or in Nigeria, who raise their kids to believ that sex is at the core og being a man? Personally, and from a young age, it was always impressed upon me that studies came first - not that I paid any mind to that - but in no way was "seex" put out there as something aspirational.

Although I readily admit that it does suffuse the culture these day - everywhere in fact - I donot see it as emanating from parents. Rather something that parents need to shield their wards from. So perhaps there is some agreement there?


Again, you may have a point of sorts, but agan, I'll also readily admit that there are likely a lot more male abusers than female. So it's right that we are equally vigilant agianst it happening from both sexes. The problem is statements like this;

Which make it sound like the men that are not abusers are the exception


We don't know how underreported instances of female abuser are, but even if it were fully captured, I still don't think it would be as prevalent as male abusers or punished the same way. And it still wouldn;t remove the unfair characterisation of an unfair impression of men being instinctively being considered as potential offenders.


Here agian, I can't help but see this as somewhat off point.
Firstly, the freedom of males can't be untwined from the freedom of females. And are you really saying that there exists a school of thought - and practice - that men should be allowed to make their way through life led by their libidos? And amongst parents?

And if that is indeed so, the charge would be more likely as raapists generally and not simply abusers of children.

Secondly, the push generally, is now more about freedomn for all and all kinds. As women become more libido led, are they being characterised more as abusers? Loose, maybe, promiscuous, possibly, adulterous even in some ways, but not abusers.



Yes, I can see that, and would make it more in line with my thoughts that your position would mean men being generally characterised as abusers, not specifically as abusers of children. The first sentence of the OP does lend more clarity however.


And I agree, and I think we both agree that education about this whole thing shouldn't be sex specific. I'd go further and say that expectations should be the same as well. ALthough my inclination wouldn;t be to champion freedom for all - as I think that's part of what got us in to this mess in the first place.


I think it's the way men are portrayed - especially in the West. IN nIgeria, if anything I'd be more inclined to say it's perhaps a little fairer, but still not close to the mark. I'd even think all forms of abuse against children are underreported.

But Nigerian men also grow up with mothers, sisters, aunts, female colleagues, schoolmates and neighbours. We are inculcated quite early intyo a culture of valuing children. My love of children and family came first, and mainly, from my time in Nigeria. And to think that Nigerian men are now running scared?


Yes, because even if women truly didn't commit any abuse and all the reports were of men, and of all their abuse of women and children, it still wouldn't be reason to characterise or imply that most men are abusers or potential abusers. Justr like the stories we hear here doesn't mean that most men are cheats or most marriages are torture chambers.


Not women. Feminism, the media, political lobbies and the like.


TV