₦airaland Forum

It's up to you.
I know they may not jugde her nicely for it. Whether the ex was a monster or not,most Nigerians will still blame the woman for the failure of the marriage.

If you must tell them,leave them to meet her first and get to know her for some time in order to form their opinion of the kind of person she is. Telling them before they meet and get to know her may result in them prejudging her.

Remember she has a child that they will get to meet someday too.so they'll find out about it at some point in time.it can't be kept secret.nor does it need to be kept secret.

I know how important it is to have one's family approve wholeheartedly of their spouse but
In the end it's no one's business apart from the two of you.

kennethkenneth6:
Thanks
But do you think I should let my people know of her past marriage

Just make sure you try your best to find out what caused the first divorce so that history won't repeat itself.

Asides from that,feel very free to go ahead and wed her if you're satisfied she'll make a good wife.

Every other thing(what people will say or not) is not really pertinent to your happiness

Don't lock her up. Kill her.
Or better still send her to sambisa let them do unto her as she has done unto the little girl.
Evil woman

Google it

mascot87:
I would like you to explain this better

See question

kenex4ever:
Cococandy pls what's it in dat ur dp dat pipu r liking? No offense, I just want 2 know

Simple.

I detest men who don't remember you're a woman when it comes to collecting your money but will be quick to remind you you're a woman when they want to have their way.

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Nigerians thrive on superstition

Yea I am.
She's prettier though. In a Genevieve-Nnaji kind of way.



No mistaken identities because she's dark and I'm sort of fair.

RoyalRoy:
really?

Is she as cute as thee too?

Being a twin comes with many advantages.... And some disadvantages. My greatest gain as a twin is wrapped up in the saying "two heads are better than one".


And the disadvantages? Comparisons, competitions and mistaken identity.

Got more than enough "free beatings" in the earlier days, for crimes I didn't commit... Lollz.

shoefreak:
okay, you go collect chinchin?

No!
I want icecream cake.

@royalroy. How cute. Only that I didn't get to see the picture.



I'm a twin too.

I don't have any argument.

Only glad you admitted that anyone marrying a new wife when he's not divorced from his first wife and without her permission is shameful.

That's all

tintingz:
You forgot that religion like Islam, Judaism, Mormon etc practice polygamy.

What's your argument?

Whatever

pickabeau1:
Classic....

Face your front.

pickabeau1:
How is this polygamy?

I hear you.
Make I believe say MOST polygamous men told their wives during the dating period that they'll end up marrying another wife and she went ahead to marry him.

Or even after marriage. How many women accept such things willingly if not the 'accept it or leave' way.

It is well.

tintingz:
Lol,

The polygamy I support must be the one the husband and wife discussed about after or before marriage. I made it clear in other threads.

Polygamy is NOT shameful, it Is the people that abuse polygamy that are shameful.

I thought you support polygamy?
Is this not it?
Man wants to marry another wife against the wish of his first wife and all she gets is take it or leave,
Then seeing as she won't agree he went ahead and married his new wife nonetheless.
Now you're saying it is shameful.

Now you agree polygamy is shameful?
Because as at the time of his marriage to ini,the first wife claimed they were still legally married hence her tears

tintingz:
If this is true, then they both deserve the karma.

This is shameful.

Yes. If for some reason a woman does not love her husband but is married to him nonetheless.
If he treats her with selfless love the NATURAL response from her is submission.

Unless it is a situation where the woman wants to ruin the union at all costs.

crackhaus:
I never said that submission is love, I said for a woman to submit she must have loved first.

If a man loves a woman and that woman does not love the man, will she then submit because according to you 'submission is the INEVITABLE result of love'?

No matter how much a man loves a woman, even if he is willing to kill for her...a woman who does not love him back will not submit to him.

Hence for a woman to submit, she must have loved first...and since love keeps no record of wrongs, is patient, perseveres, and is not selfish - it is not dependent on how much love it receives from the person to be loved.

Ok.na

When the real owners of the pictures catch you ehn.

SAMBARRY:
O yes.those pinshores I post are meant to reflect my facial expressions and moods as of the time I am typing and don't know how I will put it in words.thats my own way of passing messages




as for the it was me, I was only pulling ya legs, next

It was a long time a go with your kulyie handle.
I was like " I know that girl "
but you said you were the one. Then I said "if that is true,then bear in mind that you have a very identical twin somewhere"

I believed you then that it was your picture until you started posting more and more pictures of various 'innocent' people.
That's when I knew that picture wasn't yours.

I'm 90percent sure it belongs to that my friend whom I knew from secondary school.
I don't know where she is now anyway.
We lost contact

SAMBARRY:
Haaaaaa loreeettttaaaaa you can lie for africa.fear God na.ya friend ke?




small small dey lie na

To them it isn't

dhammyg:
MEN ARE ALSO FATHERS,ISN'T FATHERHOOD ALSO HONOURABLE

Ok
Make i

bukatyne:
You don't know they are 'men'?

Cococandy, stop it

Sambarry leave all these innocent people na. Why posting their pictures everywhere?
I saw my friend's picture that you posted one day on this forum.

@darisgod. Can you edit your title?
Makes it look like it's a male bashing thread. We know it's not every guy that cheats on his wife

Vex ke.
Well I'm just feeling for the wife sha.
She won't know whether to deal with grief or the betrayal.

But....
Imagine a woman went to tryst with her lover and died on the way.
Them hypocrites will be here dancing on her grave.

Nay. That's way too serious.
Imagine a woman wanted to go to a friend's wedding which her husband did not approve of and then died on the way back.

We'll be hearing all kind of bible quotations now with the attendant 20pages of venting.

They won't come out and condem evil now that is staring them in the face.

bukatyne:
Cococandy don vex

Later somr will say that polygamy is better than cheating

So that they'll come and force the new wife on the first wife and tell her to accept it or leave.

Don't be surprised this lady might have been a few weeks pregnant when she died.

This one is small. E for cripple the mama and brother too. So that next time they see a lady plotting the down fall of another,they'll use themselves as living examples to preach against such wickedness

bukatyne:
They might have been prepping for marriage rites

I don't pray to be in this woman's shoes but if I were her I won't shed a single tear for him.

He has the audacity to bring her into their home in the presence of their kids.
Even if he doesn't love his wife,couldn't he for the sake of his small kids drive them to the park to spare them the stress of public transport?

No. The comfort of his mistress is more important than the safety and well being of his little kids.

He got really served.

darisgod:
D gf family self dey shame to come see d wife


Dey said since d gf mother is involve den she was d one who killed her daughter her self

Her mother n her brother r getting better



Who says wife no dey chop chop for diz kin situation



My cousin wife dey chop well well for inside room ooo



She said dey have had countless issues concerning dir particular girl

Dir was a time she travelled her kids told her d girl came to slip in d house,that dadi told them she was their aunty




Ummm


She said she have caught him severe times wit d girl n her husband kip apologizing


It is well

Some nairalanders are so dumb(or maybe just plain dishonest) kills the brain cells to try communicate a simple point to them.

U try

Toks2008:
I think i do but i had to learn it.

You also have the patience of a saint

Toks2008:
Sometimes but for proper decorum i ought to be calling some people some names by virtue of how they reason. I am a matured man and when i write stuffs on nairaland i desist from using some aggravated words but i will always try to maintain that status quo irrespective of the fact that most people who use these words are still very immature and it will be a disdain to respond in like manner.

This is a public forum and it takes an intellectually dull and low life character to discuss issues based on individual's opinion and using funny and derogatory phrases

Nevertheless, registering your marriage has nothing to do with culture Mr thick skull.

You have the patience of a saint.

MadCow1:
[b]The trend in Nigeria for contracting a marriage today goes like this;

1. Introduction.. This is not considered a marriage as it is simply a formality under various customs where the parents of the groom meets the bride's parents and officially state their intent to marry their daughter..

2. Traditional Marriage... This is the official marriage under the customs of the people where dowry is paid and other traditional rites observed in accordance with the customs and tradition of the brides people. This marriage is legal under the laws of Nigeria and recognized in any court. Howbeit that in case of a divorce or any other disputes, the recognized customs of the people take precedence and the customary courts have jurisdiction in such matters. Now the basic problem with this marriage is the lack of a legal document like a license or certificate backing it. Now in court, wedding photos and witnesses are almost always the proofs provided. But seeing as photos fade and get lost and credibility of witnesses can easily be challenged, there is always a problem of proof associated with this form of marriage..

However, I just learnt on this thread that some form of documentation or registry has been opened at local government offices for this.. I am not sure about this nor have I ever heard of it until now.

3. Church Marriage/white wedding.... This is where the couple dress up in a gown and a suit with bridesmaids and groomsmen and go before a church to be joined together in HOLY MATRIMONY. Now this in and of itself carries no legal backing under the laws per se, especially if that church isn't recognized or permitted to contracted marriages on behalf of the courts. So if a couple only does this type of marriage (in an unapproved church) without going to court or carrying out traditional rights, the marriage can be classified under Common law marriage.. If both parents consent to the marriage, then I am not too certain as it could be either considered customary or common law marriage.. I am not too certain about this but would check and revert..

Article 42 of the Nigerian Marriage act is why I feel that wedding/marriages contacted by unapproved churches is as good as useless and even criminal..

42. Whoever performs or witnesses as a marriage officer the ceremony of marriage, knowing that he is not duly qualified so to do, or that any of the matters required by law for ceremony. the validity of such marriage has not happened or been performed, so that the marriage is void or unlawful on any ground, shall be liable to imprisonment for five years.


Subject to further interpretation by a Lawyer as I am not too sure on this one.

4. Court Marriage/registry...... This marriage is governed by Federal Laws which as you know is the highest jurisdiction in the land. The license issued here is a legal document and is irrefutable proof of marriage as it is carried out before a certified representative of the courts and in the presence of two witnesses. This marriage does not even require the presence nor consent of the parents of either parties if both parties are above the age of 21.

Now to directly answer your question about which marriage takes precedence where all the above stated types of weddings have been done and the answer is THE COURT MARRIAGE as it is governed by federal laws. So a man who is married to his first wife under federal laws and goes ahead to take a second under customary laws is guilty of polygamy which is an Offence according to article 47 of the marriage act stated below

47. Whoever, having contracted marriage under this Act, or any modification or re-enactment thereof, or under any enactment repealed by this Act, during the continuance of such marriage contracts a marriage in accordance with customary law, shall be liable to imprisonment for five years.




Now the main purpose of this thread which I support is that since most customs and tradition are gender biased in favor of the men and to the detriment of the women and children, it is strongly advisable for a woman going into a marriage to insist on getting married at the registry to protect herself against the unforeseen future.. I support this because the registry/court marriage is not gender biased and would always protect the interest of the weaker party or the victim irrespective of gender and more importantly the children.

[/b]

Of course the man is never responsible for his actions.
It's the woman's fault.
Even as he left his family to run town service for his mistress and her own family,it's not his fault,it's the other woman's fault. She forced him to cheat on his wife.

bennyrazz:
may God help us men and deliver us from whorish women! may God deliver us from the Jezebels of this world, there are so many nowadays lord, some dress naked, some don't even wear under wears, some wear all sort of makeups and hair do all in a bid to mislead us. Oh Lord my God, please do not be silent, deliver us from these evil women. May they never know our phone numbers, let them look disgusting and irritating in our eyes whenever we see them in Jesus name. Whatever charm they might have gone to do in any babalawo's house in other to hypnotise us, may it never work in Jesus name. Some women are out there to abort the destinies of Great men out there just as Delilah cut short the destiny of Samson, Lord I pray that may this kind of women not locate these great men including me in Jesus name. Amen!

Not all whites speak Queen's english.
Many don't

lolaluv1:
Thank you. I don't believe this BS for a hot second. Which white woman types like this? Abegi!

I know some guys will oppose it. It's normal. No one will fight a sysytem that favors them or gives them upper hand.

It's the fish brained little girls I'm sorry for.
When the man brings in a new wife as the traditional institution allows him or when he dies and the in-laws begin to possess his possessions they'll run to NL and start disturbing us with stories that touch.

Now sound advice is being given too them dem dey mumu themselves.

MadCow1:
Only small minded and illiterate Niggas would oppose her write up.. Any woman who does not have a court certificate to back up her marriage is playing marriage Russian roulette and should pray she never pulls the trigger with a loaded chamber in the barrel.

That a lady in this time and age needs to be told such is in itself disappointing.

Make dem dey sleep on top bike

CoCoLav:
Thank you! By the time one husband's brother will suddenly come from the village and explain to them how they are 'property' and so cannot inherit their husband's wealth (some of which the both of them even worked for) then their eyes will clear.

This kind of topic no need to argue sef. Just fold hands and watch.

Sweetlemon the guys won't be happy with you for saying this
The lord is your strength as you fight the ensuing e-battle

Skeptical