₦airaland Forum

beeevan: Mango tree or orange room?

r231: Forget the face na lap dance sure pass......

Na face dem take give lap dance

Gombs: Watch how your life goes henceforth! Unless you turn from what you said here... except I'm not annointed of God!

Chillisauce: Mango tree ke.

beware of soldier ants. Let those tiny things dont go near your okpata

Im sure you and edwife will be tying holandis wrapper around your br east.

with lanli ( you know the plants we used for local nail polish) gently placed on your nails while waiting for it to absorb and give the orange polish color

SHOCK7: And d fb tin?

mstik: I remember sometime ago when I casually mentioned this view, I was put on blat and cussed out lol
Religion is a terrible thing, infact I hate religion
Religion has brought conflict and confusion into the world
Only a few will understand this

Godmystrength: For the purpose of this thread, you are very right.

and i will also like to add to my understanding of this your stance

That a woman helps out with finances is something she does of her own accord, not something she has to do.
And that a man will probably not leave his financial responsibilities unattended to just because his wife is not helping with cash. Period!

I am fine with that! Simple...(or maybe i should just keep this till a thread on ''Your Views On Women Who Help Their Partners With Financial Contribution'' or something like that is opened.

crackhaus: You know for the reason of the emboldened, is why I don't often engage in arguments with you female lot on NL.
we female lot? Ok

That part in bold is purely a construct of yours, that's entirely you making that up...I made no such inferences.


who says you did?that was generally speaking


As for the question about options left for a man who's wife has refused to cook just to prove a point?
I suppose when the husband starts eating out, staying out late, and coming home only when his wife is already fast asleep to avoid talk...maybe then the woman will realize that proving a point by extremes is not the solution to anything.

neither is the husband's proving a point the solution. Some men don't engage in house work not because the wife has all the time to do that but simply because it is a proof of their manhood.
Such a scenario as the one you painted here can lead to the breaking of a home.
It's so easy to see how it can lead to break up.
Hubby has the time to help but prefers to sit and cross legs to prove his manhood. So wifey begins to slack in house work because she can't manage everything by herself. So hubby resorts to eating out and going out at inappropriate hours just to avoid having a sensible discussion with his wife.
See? Broken home.

Using a woman as example. A wife who feels a man (husband) has to provide her with everything may also stand to reap such friction if the husband decides to only do so much and leave the rest.what will she do? Go outside to look for the luxury her husband can't afford because she refused to help?
If she does that isn't the home broken already?

You see why men rules and women rules don't work for couples?

I said it before that if we're being real here, no woman who values her marriage leaves the chores undone and food uncooked just to prove to her husband that she works as much as he does.

but of course. I agree. Same as no man who values his marriage will sit and watch his wife slave to death because he's a man and has to prove it by not doing domestic stuff because it's a woman's traditional role.

Still people do it.I know one such coulple BTW.whenever I visit,I do a thorough cleanup before I leave. Wife comes back from work later than hubby but he's anti house work because he's a man. So they live in filth. And they seem happy



Again, it's highly unlikely that a woman who has a steady source of income decides to make no input financially. If she won't do anything for the house (husband), will she also decide not to spend on the kids when they start coming?


Makes you wonder how a man can watch his kids go hungry and not cook 'n' feed them because mommy isn't around.


What are you saying here that I haven't said before?

what I'm saying that you're not saying is, both husband and wife should make it a point of duty to assist each other in their designated roles.
It doesn't become a men's rule thing when the man refuses to help out because he expects to be judged differently than his wife.

crackhaus: You're not getting it.

am I not?

Why would a normal thinking woman with a steady source of income decide not to assist financially in the running of her home?
This is entirely different from when a man doesn't do chores...you're still stuck up on judging men and women using the same set of rules.

it's by no means different. Really. So You've not seen or at least heard of women who's money belong to them but the husband's money belongs to the family? There's no jugding here. And when you say that you make it seem like it's the whole of men against the whole of women. It is one man to one woman here. So both in their marriage are expected to abide by the same rules which they have agreed upon. Unless they are two parralel lines with no intentions of meeting.

Men are women live by different set of rules and standards, this is just how it is whether we like it or not. It's not about one party being inferior to the other, it's about standards.
Men are men, women are women...both sexes cannot be judged by the same set of rules.
A lion is a cat doesn't mean a household cat is now a lion by direct comparison.


men and women? I'm talking of a family here. Each family of course has it's pattern so I don't see a seperate rule for all men and a seperate rule for women when it comes to domestic affairs. For example, a rule that governs women in the society may hold no water in my home because I'm not just a woman when I'm in my home.I'm a partner and a help meet. So I understand that I should adapt to my partner and him to me.so that we do our thing our way.the way it's comfortable for us not the way men or women have been 'programmed' to.

True the age long roles still influences how things are being done by many folks,but since it has becomes generally accepted that a woman isn't too womanly to win bread? Where does a man get off to being too manly for chores?

Simply put general men and women rules don't apply in homes where both parties are prepared to make it work. Any form of rigidity in the name of what a man is expected to do or not do and vice versa for a woman too will only lead to avoidable friction and/or breakdown. No amount of men rules or women rules will save such a union.

@emboldened, you mean to tell me that you've heard of women who earn money waiting up on their husband to come home before buying fuel, thus meaning they prefer the darkness?

yes I've heard. while some make sure they collect up front so that there won't be emergency when he's not around which will require them to bring from their pockets.

The same way I've seen men who will leave the kids hungry or in soaked diapers until mom's back to make dinner for them and clean them up.

Well there are two things involved:
- it's either the woman really has no cash available on her to buy fuel. OR
- the arrangement in the house is that the man is in charge of fuel, hence 'daddy' is on his way home with fuel and the woman is waiting.

you'd be surprised at the different kinds of human beings occupying our dear earth.

Now if neither of those two is the case, and you're telling me that the woman has cash at hand and there is no agreement on who buys fuel normally...but still she decides to inconvenience herself by staying in the dark while waiting for the husband who's probably not bringing any fuel home because he assumes there's fuel available...meanwhile, she still doesn't call to notify him that there's no fuel

Going by that situation in italics, I think such a woman has a deep seated problem in attitude and she has bigger things to worry about.
Being selfish to others is one thing, but being selfish & inconveniencing oneself just to prove a point is the definition of unhappiness, wickedness, and possibly psychosis....a woman like that needs help.

very much agreed. I'm totally with you on this. Same applies to men who will inconvenience themselves,live in the mess they made or the mess the kids made,stay hungry,etc because mommy's not back to do that yet.

Cococandy, the one I've heard of and seen is that the woman does not know how to turn on the generator and as such has to wait on her husband.

Odilafta: Abi o aunty mi ABi wetin I for talk?

crackhaus: Why wouldn't she want to help out if she has the means?

I'm sorry, but your question is highly unlikely.

Odilafta: Are you sure you are scared of her falling into temptation or you're scared that someother guy will do to her what you do to other girls?

crackhaus: Babe, I don't know if you married or not...but quit the fronting and foaming at the mouth.

If your husband says/decides his not in the mood or for some other reasons, chooses not to do chores...you ain't gonna do nothing about it.
You ladies should try being real here for once. The worst you would do is still ask him nicely or talk about it.

I guarantee that you and the other females on here would never leave it (chores) undone because your husband(s) didn't do it.
Men who help with chores do it because they want to, not because they're supposed to...the best a woman can wish and be thankful for is that she marries/married a man who's willing to help.

SHOCK7: Well apart from dis neck pain i'm having,i'm kinda fine.Pls whatz 'ur fb page?

dam007: I humbly align myself with your position... I think its more about the individuals.. Because from that aspect, everything is shared! Got that candy! thankss

SHOCK7: Hi coco,i noticed in some other thread & I thought we just had 2 get acquainted.i forgot 2 say looking LOVELY.

dam007: Exactly the point I seek to justify.. Please read the post again if you don't get my stand on this... I'm clearly saying.. Contrary to what most men believe.. Its not such a wrong idea.. Besides.. A smart wife most likely wouldn't even expect you to do chores with her when she knows you should be at work... I help my partner often coz the nature of my job leaves me more time.. and she returns quite late and tired often.. Its only fair of me to at least lend a hand.. The contention here is this.. I FEEL ITS BY CHOICE, AND NOT OBLIGATORY ON THE MAN'S PART.. The only defense most ladies rely on is his efficiency as a husband!

RoyalRoy: ***blushing in Hausa****.

My list.......
Frankyshow
Shoefreak
Cococandy
MizTyna
Mayapop

#Lobatan

dam007: lemme get this straight, are you saying now its supposed to be some sort of responsibility for the husband to handle chores simply beacause the wife earns too?

dam007: don't get this wrong, my point is its not a bad idea to help your spouse with chores.. But its a choice.. Just because she supports her husband should not make it a must for him to handle some chores! Na!