₦airaland Forum

Mor0n

Abel202:
All these immature newly weds and the silly advisers who knows no better.
Look O.P just tell the lady to confront her husband. He loves her and will of course moderate his ways. As for her girlfriends, those are not good to have as friends. But thinking of divorce already within 3 months of marriage because her husband is doing what almost every married Nigerian man is doing is so so ridiculous that am almost falling off my chair laughing. Just because her husband is doing some side chick and some people are saying divorce, so amusing. The husband should have some bounderies and be more discreet. His wife's friends are a no no. The relationships were on before he got married, but he should end it henceforth.

In Nigeria almost every married woman knows that her husband cheats or is bound to cheat at one point in time or another. It doesn't mean the man doesn't love his wife, its just part of the game. ''Responsible'' married men only find a way to be more discreet. But if the woman tries it, fiam you are sent off your husband's home, no apologies. This is Nigeria and Africa. You either accept things as they are or you go pay the bride price of a man, marry him, feed him, house him, clothe him, take care of his kids etc, then and only then you can expect him not to try some side chick even though you always complain of being tired instead of giving him the egusi to chop when ever he wants it. Accept that this is Nigeria, Men are bound to be men, and everyone shall live happily ever after.

If you like divorce your husband now - but be rest assured that you will keep marrying and divorcing Nigerian men till you go to the moon and find yourself a faultless extra terrestrial. Or you just stay single without forming any relationship with any man till the rest of your life.
Oya let the attack begin..

Why her friends? That makes it worse.

As usual

johnson232:
where??

wherever it is that you live.

At least you're one person if no other who sees nothing wrong with those sick comments. You endorse the rape culture.

No she was too strong for him.

byvan03:
So he sat and enjoyed the dry humping? The mentality here makes one want to throw up. To think that majority of men/women born in this country reason this way... I just don't know the way forward. I have even heard matured married women talking rubbish about how a 9 yrs old girl seduced their almost 50yrs old brother. I was too young to barge into that conversation at the time but I knew that their comment was sickening. These are women that have daughters at home, yet they reason this way.

byvan03:
The fact that in most cases, even a child gets blamed for being raped by an adult is troubling.

I've seen 'adults' with 'brains' ask if a 12 year old rape victim was a virgin at the time. I've seen some say kids of nowadays are very knowledgeable about sexual activities, I've seen some say the child seduced the abuser. One was arguing with me the other day about how a 13 year old tried to force herself on him to the point where she dry humped him until she orgasmed and he couldn't fight her off. Yea she was stronger than him

I tried to make him see the child was not culpable but he kept on and on, I just left him to continue arguing with his ancestors.

Off the top of my head, 1) having a cheating habit, 2) planning to get a second wife, 3) being violent towards her....

But the thing is OP hasn't done any of these according to his story. In fact his family loves her. And they have been happy together.
I'm really curious to know what on earth prompted her actions. Out of the blues she turned into a cold calculating back stabber. And he's taking it lightly. Glossing over it. Like seriously his wife was secretly planning to start something elsewhere to sustain her when she moves on without him and he hasn't bothered to know why she wants to abandon him out of the blues.
Read this:

Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle.

The only thing I can think of is that she doesn't love him anymore, has probably found another man and is perfecting plans to leave OP high and dry. But that is me just guessing.

But I'm curious he doesn't want to know why she planned such in the first place. Patching up things without getting to the root it means it will just crack later.
Why is he so blaśe about such a big deal? Or does he know and is giving us half information?

NifemiOlu:
Can you please suggest what a man can do to his WIFE that would warrant such reaction?

EfemenaXY:
Whether this story is real or unreal is irrelevant.

What's more concerning is the level of immaturity, depravity and perversion exhibited in the comments.

I weep for the girl child in Nigeria.

Sick society.

byvan03:
I worry for the girl child born into this depraved society .

fem29:
A lare percentage of Nigerians who have always lived in Nigeria are deviants. The way thy reason can make you weep tears of frustration.

We have rape culture.

So OP did you find out why she did what she did? I bet I'm not the only one who's curious.

@bold, that's what I thought too.

The sisters didn't come out of thin air to advice her to set her husband up like that. She must have told them he did this or that to her before they started advising her on how to ruin him.

Maybe there might even be another dude on the line and she's looking for a way to totally disparage this one so she can feel free to leave him and go meet the new guy without the families labeling her bad.

Lol. I hope I'm not adding fuel to the fire but I can't imagine what prompted her actions. I don't blame her sisters. I blame her. She opened the door to let them into her marriage. I keep saying relatives should keep their distance from people's marriages and only offer opinions when asked. We are just too nosy in this our country. Always finding out ways to poke noses into other people's affairs. Look at the result.

andromida:
Why the sisters come sound like witches in a coven?

But seriously why are you blaming the sisters? i am curious what did your wife tell them before they gave her that type of warpath advice?

Don't be naive, look at your wife be careful in pointing fingers.

Your wife may have been feeling a need for counsel when she couldn't understand something about you so she took it to them and they helped as best they could which means you and your wife are not as tight as you thought so here is an opportunity to know her better not paint her as you want her to be in your mind - perfect naive woman being corrupted by jealous sisters otherwise you may never truly get to know her. Did you know this part of her before? well now you know her some more and what she is capable of when she is anxious or scared of whatever.

I hope you get the wisdom to sort things right.

fem29:
. This one don pass be careful. Water don pass garri. Tearoses if you haven't already commented. ,plix you are needed here. Mindfulness, EfemenaXY, cococandy, bukatyne, ewuro4

It's like a horror story. Goosebumps.

What on earth does she hope to gain by behaving that way?

OP Yes I do.

My baby eats like a ninja. And she's a girl. So maybe the 'it's a boy' reason isn't entirely true.

Yomieluv sorry. I had the same problem. My baby eats a lot ( even with over production) and when I added formula, she was picky about it. It takes perseverance. You and madam have to find out which formula she favors and combine it with breastfeeding.
Don't stop breastfeeding yet. It's great for their immune system. So let her keep trying. The more he feeds, the more the milk will come.

All the best.

banmee:
Serious na. You. 4th of July. Nothing? I was born at night, but not last night. I de hungry oooo.

I'm serious.

We had a long 3-day 'weekend' from Friday to Sunday. We went on a road trip.
So all man is just tired. No energy to enter kitchen. We had to order take out.

banmee:
Cococandy wetin you cook today? I de hungry. I no trust this wan wey you just quiet so.

nothing o. Not even a burger.

Very funny

She is a xtupid girl.

Tell her to check herself into a mental care facility.

Since You don't know how to tell her to shut up. Is she not the one who went ahead to have a child for an already married man.?

Instead you're here asking us foolish questions on her behalf.
Both of you need brain reset.

It's official. Children in Nigeria aren't safe anymore

What?!!!

Onegai:
This is a GTB bank, in Ikoyi. It's covered in flower pots. It's really pretty. The reason most people don't know it's a GTB branch is because it's for Private Banking only and they don't put up a sign outside to let people know it's a bank.

Very nice. This potted plant style.

I'm at one cheese cake factory here and they have the same pattern of plant wall.
Must be the unspoken law around here. Lol

Erm I don't know if I find this pretty though. It's a little too much.

It goes without saying.

This really breaks my heart.

Being single doesn't disqualify one from giving marital advice.
But pls direct your advice to the married men.
I'm very sure they have a lot to learn from you.

We are tired.

5minsmadness:
She thinks getting married gives the person automatic wisdom on marriage issues

Naivety at its best.

A lot of marriage counsellors are single. They study marriage and the dynamics of relationships as a course. They know how best the male and female psyche can flow in unison as a team.


But no, one akpako from jalingo who managed to trick her man into putting a ring on her finger and doesn't understand why everyday their house is full of quarrels will refuse to listen to good advise because she wants to show that she is a liberated woman




But I know MADAM ishilove is not like that...all this wan we are talking, she is busy taking down pointers from the op to use on her main squeeze when she eventually finds him

Single boys that can't even handle relationships somehow feel they know what married women should do to make their marriages work.

Could the two groups of individuals be any further apart both in life experiences and perspectives?

Yet.... It's the single boys on this forum that won't let us hear word for their 'wisdom' on how married women should live and behave.
The married men hardly besiege us with such rants. Only a select few do.

SeverusSnape:
Where is that sycophantic Mbaka?... His people were attacked and slaughtered, maimed and the man was there licking Buhari's smelly wrinkled ass.

That guy is shameless honestly.

Beautiful people. Happy married life.

Onegai another one.
I don't even know what to say anymore.
This is scary.

isokey:
@cococandy, shebebaby and onegai.... Thanks alot, i appreciate. I'm only in my second month,first trimester feeling weak, with little or no appetite for food, have this nauseating feeling. The only thing i seem not to get tired of eating is boiled maize. I can finish 4or 5 cobs at a time. what do i do pls

my doctor gave me vitamin B6 and some other antiemetic to help with the nausea. I took it once a day with the prenatal vitamins and it worked.
Little bit of ginger in your mouth works too but only for a short time.

Maybe you can ask yours. See if they have something that can help you.

Also check that pregnancy thread you might find some useful tidbits there. https://www.nairaland.com/889053/pregnancy-pregnant-going-through-high

It's just too long a thread though. Gotta warn you.

Nice job onegai.

See what I found on my way to lunch today.

Seems to be the theme around here. Lost of buildings like this in their neighborhood.

Really an Igbo man engaging in suicide bombing? Tell me something else.
We are not fanatics. Stop the lies pls.

I agree with that. @ bolded.

freecocoa:
I have no issues with sex education, I guess talking to a child like you are an adult about sex is what I have issues with.

Sex education is not something that is done once, I remember getting it till I left for uni, even when I felt I knew all there was to know at the time. Constant reminders and introducing new info as time goes is a better method as far as I'm concerned.