₦airaland Forum

@ knotty

I'm delighted to know that's how you feel, like i always say, at the end of the day, you're the master of your mind.

Just for the records though, if i was out to insult you, I wouldn't have been pouring my sincere contributes to keeping your home a good one. My suggestions are all in the name of you and your wife having a happy home,

But then we all have different opinions, i didn't see reasons with others, at least only to an extent, and that makes me "the single girl with foul mouth fingers" lol . . latterlig!

Lets just say i overstayed my welcome, you'll not see me on your thread again, thats as sure as a sealed deal.
Good luck in your marriage, i wish all marriages a "happily ever after ending", am i naive?? I don't think so!!

A purple top , black pair of jeans (necessity at work), my hair is down, purple wrist-watch, a white and cerise diamond jewelry set compiling of a ring, pair of earrings and a necklace (my day to day set) + an extra pair of pink earrings, my golden nose-ring, purple-pink lipgloss . . guess thats it

@ all

If you guys read my firstest (dictionary please) post, I did mention that i've seen lots of couples do it and are happy with it

All i'm saying is that it shouldn't be done in anger, it leaves things unexpressed and unsaid, if he has to do it, FINE, what do i care? But they should be in agreement . . you guys should put the wife's feelings too into consideration, not just your fellow Nairalander's biko.

He sounds mad. thats not how to work out things, one or both party always ends up hurt, which is what i want them to pevent.

I have an aunt that hae the "seperate bedroom" doctrine in her home, and they're doing just fine, have adorable kids and a lovely home . . but it takes two to tango. Don't make oe party feel bad in the process, make it a joint point of view and decision . . the way he said it "afterall we share the same roof", is that what marriage is all about?? sharing the same roof?? Plaese catch the goat by the throat!!

modification: @ mamaput

I guess you also agree to the guy being the "oga" . .well good for you.
I demended some from the woman too, thats what its all about "half way meeting" and "compromisis"

What happens when they start having different views on what the house should look like, or what should be prepared in the kitchen?? Before you know it, a lawyer is drawing up a "divorce agreement"

Its natural for some, can't really remember what health class said the cause was, but nothing to panick about, but if you go to the apotek (pharmacy), you could get some substance that helps prevent it, i know they have it here in Norway sha. How well it works, I'm not sure.

Yea, "toilet roll" is very unhealthy and unhygienic, professionals say the tiny particles could crawl up your thingy and cause blockage, or some kinda infections.

You should try "truse innlegg" (thats the norwegian name though), think its called "panty liners" in english

Good luck bro Behold old things are passed away and new things are here, you'll be fine, in no due time, you'll meet that "one" that you're neither playing nor vice versa!!

Imani:
I thought marriage was about bringing the other party to your level rather like friends and not another teacher-student/master-slave relationship?

My sister help me ask the "marriage consellor" . .  nonsense.

osereka:
CUTE ASS,
ARE YOU MARRIED? IF YES THEN UR HUSBAND IS IN BIG SHIT. IF NOT BABY GIRL YOU NEED TO WORK HARD ON THE WAY YOU THINK MEN ARE.

On the contrary my husband will be just fine because we'll stop at nothing to make it work, even if it means going against our desires once in a while. We will compromise and we will eventually reach a solution, we would not resort to taking the fastest lane, just to cover it up, neither will we give each other an ultimatum. I'll let my husband mould me (not change me, they're two different things), but i know God will also give me a husband that will let me mould him too, we'll  understand each other, we wont mind sitting down, throwig pride to the fishes and having a heart to heart felt conversation,  WE WILL BE HAPPY, trust me. To cut a long story short, if you're anything like what you portray on nairaland, my husband will be nothing like you.

What does being a "boss" achieve?? happy home?? Think again pal, its your kind that think women are slaves . . rubbish!!

knotty:
i shall not lead my life and my home based on other people`s standard.

What a contradicting post?? such ignorance cooks me up

You wouldn't lead or live by other people's standards?? yet this was your starting question

knotty:
what should i do?

So whose standards where you expecting us to dish out if not ours??

Honestly you shouldn't have come al the way to nairaland, yea you could have just taken a room, afterall we're not planning to move in with you, are we??

All the things you listed though, are things both parties could have compromised to and meet each other half way . . thats what marriage is all about - - - and from your post, i can read anger and rage running all over it, not nice

I do think a heart to heart chat would help both of you,

knotty:
at least she remains under my roof and i under the same roof too.

. . and you believe you're doing her a favour because " hey, you still share the same roof". Was that what you had in mind before you stepped into the marriage??

i read at odd hours meaning i have to put on the light which she does not like.

you should share the days of you reading with lights on,

i listen to BBC, VOA at really odd hours which means i have to put on the transistor radio at ungodly hours, this she finds repulsive.

So you sit there to tell me it wouldn't have been a problem if the tables were turned?? being single is a whole lot different from being married. In marraige you have challenges between likes and dislikes, you have to drop some habits and maybe along the line pick some, but you definitely should not turn your back to the principle of marriage becasue every detail isn't done to your satisfaction. Its just not fair!!

when NEPA is on, i watch cable TV all through the night, this disTurds her sleep.

you could watch tele in the parlour

when i get home a litle on the high side, i snore deeply in bed, she complains about that too

she should get used to your snoring (you wouldn't be the first, and other couples have coped one way or the other),

what the heck, to let peace reign, i got myself a room.

clap for yourself, job well done

knotty:
besides all these, i am dirty, carefree and flippant. she wants a prim and spice room. i cannot change myself now. it is too late in the day.

would you want your son to pick up the habit of being carefree, dirty and all that?? you don't have to be perfect but you could at least help make your home a better place

WHY YOU WANNA CHANGE ME, THINK OF THE THINGS THAT REALLY MADE ME, THE WAY THAT I AM USED TO YOU HAPPY, WHY YOU WANNA CHANGE ME?

I'm sure she doesn't want to change you, i like the word "mould" better. Its a growth in relationship. I'm sure you would want her to do the same if you found something about her repulsive?

In the days arguments, you will find peace in your room. that is better than sleeping out in the embrace of another female comforter outside.

Then let it be attributed to the "days of arguements", not everyday . . or you argue every night?? I don't think so!!

@ fynewaka

we're square

fynewaka:
Omo eko is history to me.

Whatever dude . . is the exchange of hurtful words really necessary,

fynewaka:
Omo eko can't be my friend,

I'm sure she doesn't want you as a friend either, so what did you say was the point again??

fynewaka:
She's just too dumb to stand on the same pedestal with my array of friends.

Now that was an insult to me . . she is my very good friend, so please keep to your "high class, chasis" friends and let mine be. She worths too much to me,

fynewaka:
In nairaland, there's no permanent friend or foe, but interest supersedes.!

No permanent foe, fo sure but friends . . i'm a living witness, have made friends i wouildn't give up for the world. You make life-time friends, places and time not withstanding, yea even on nairaland

fynewaka:
For the umpteenth time, she does not measure up!

So why not let her be, why the need to emphasize it??

Yea hun, the english oxford calls it[b] "KARMA"[/b]  - - - - painful right?? I know!!

Now you can sit and imagine how many girls saw you as their "one and only", only to turn and get a slap right in their faces, such is life Don't tell me you thought its been joke all along when we say "what goes around, comes around" , , , no oo, its all real, but i don't have to tell you, you already learnt it the hard way.

But hey, you might still get lucky beyond all imaginations, do not go back to being a player, would only serve you karma all over again, just hope for the best, the girl for you will surely come  . . sooner or later!!

THANKS FOR SHARING SHA, HOPE YOU'RE THE SCAPE GOAT TO THE REST OF'EM "PLAYERS", a word is enough for the foolish, let alone the wise

le govo:
[color=#000099][/color]
Dont know ? Am i lost, wasting or[b] normal[/b] , Somebody hear me out !

I'll go with the normal, Cos thats what you are. Some will consider it strange, but it actually easn't - - - "different ages to date for different peeps", don't worry hun, when the time and right girl for you comes, you wouldn't know what hit you and before you know it, you'll be singing a new song

You have great qualties, you're outgoing, and open minded, guess you just haven't seen "that one" girl who tickles your fancy beyond all reasonable doubts, keep going, she might just be around the corner

@ fynewaka

Why don't you just let it go, what good or benefits will come out of this childish act?? None if you ask me.

BTW, i thought you and Omo were friends . . nairaland friendships na wa - - - God did bless me with the best of bests though

@ topic/poster

Hmmm, its all about the individuals involved

Bonds between siblings could be very strong, and any brother in their right "brotherly" minds, wants to look out fior their sister(s).

I don't see anything wrong in it, as long as you know your friend in question isn't a bad guy, why not?? Most of the times when both friends have been together as "players", they find it diffucult to trust their sisters to them becasue they think they're out to use them just like both of them have been using other girls in the past.

Atimes, its just that not being able to imagine your friend "laying hands" on your sis, afterall the guy she might end up dating doesn't necessarily have to be better than him . . he'll forgive any other guy she breaks/broke up with, but the friend's case is a more complicated issue.

And then what happens if he breaks her heart, (doesn't have to be intentional) - - -but no, "brother" might not be able to forgive and the life-time friendship is thrown to pigs

It takes matured minds to play the game, men not boys - - - because they wouldn't let their personal feelings come into screen and should the sis and friend not work out, it wouldn't be of any unnecessary consequence

amaikama:
haywhy and cute-ass thanks very much for your advice. i really appreciates it. lalaboi, na you sabi ooo if na sex de make me tire.

cheers.

The pleasure is all mine Do take care!!

Is it my ideal relationship?? Nope

Is it right or wrong?? dearie that would be your own "story" to tell

If all other things are in their right places nd both of you think you're meant for each other, and you complete each other in ways other people couldn't/can't, then the sky should be your limit. You won't be the first in history, and no matter what ending your's get, wouldn't be the first either.

You call the shots baby, just be one with your heart and self that you're doing the right thing

@ yemmyse

What you should do?? RRRRRRRUNNNN, as fast as your legs can carry you.

The girl isn't just a liar, she's a classified pathelogical one - - -her level of lies is that of a graduate. No need to tell you in black and white what to do . . you already on the right path. Please don't turn back, keep moving.

What you discovered might just be "a tip of the ice berg" to the rest, and what if you didnt read the text(s), you'll still be thinking she's an angel??

Her parents shouldn't make you see things the way they aren't, of course they want their daughter to get a man, a good one if i might add. So what do you expect them to do other than stick to their daughter's benefit?? But one true thing here, at the end of the day, you'll be getting married to the girl and not her parents . . and all of a sudden 3 out of your 5 kids arent yours , who do you blame?? her parents??

Just tell her and them its over, she's even more pathetic than i thought, coming up with the "you cheated on me by walking out", who says such arrant nonsense after what she did??

Please my dear, do not sit in water and let soap enter your eyes, you'll have yourself alone to blame if you go back to her after the mighty revelation!!!

@ kratos

Sure dear, love will prevail, but rememeber it shouldn't be pushed. That word "love" is strong and can do wonders, but don't expect it to cut the whole cake. The people involved have to be willing too.

I like your courage though, and i hope to God she wouldn't hurt you deliberately, that she was just desperate after getting sympathy from people, or wanted to know better things to do to make "it" work.

I don't know the contents of her posts, i hope it wasn't something unforgettable Cos if it is, dearie it might not be as easy as you think. Don't make excuses saying "afterall you've done some mistakes too". partners do mistakes, one partner's mistake shouldn't be an excuse for the other to go astray, and i don't think she came all the way to nairaland to pay back, - - - only you know what you read, and i pray with all i got that you be able to forget and totally forgive, and sooner or later be able to look back at it as "one of those", but please be sure before taking any important step.

Some crazingly in love couples aren't together today because of one thing or the other, just to prove that love and hate aren't so apart from each other . .somethings don't just go away, if you're too sure she's the one in the posts, why is she denying them?? I thought giving something a new shot and fresh start was supposed to be a two person's thingy?? where all came clean and open?? Call her and make her see reasons with you, you're the one hurt here, let her not be the "supposedly" victim, she isnt. Tell her how much her posts hurt you

At the end of the day, its your sole decision to make, hope you make the right one. Good luck pal, your girl is most lucky . Wish you all the best!!

La wa ooh . . Nigeria we hail thee,

Omo Eko:
My sweetie is busy

I know i can always count on you, thats as sure as the sun shall shine

@ kedkngo

Well i would have blamed you sha but i'll pass, why?? one thing does lead to another. Obviously you love this girl very much but some circumstances are making you doubt her trust, you're human so its perfectly understandable. You were acting out on the account of what had happened earlier that you hadn't tackled.

Her case of sleeping with a friend isn't such a thing unheard of, it might result to something else, but there are friends that could pass for your siblings, i admire the fact that she told you about it too before hand, what you could or should have done instead of enforcing an ultimatum was ask her not to stay over at a guy's place, not because you don't trust her, but hormones can be pretty decieving. You make your partner see reasons with you, offer a solution if you find one fit. Don't just tell her off

One thing that called my attention though was the "ex" thingy, did she tell you why she did what she did?? Why did it have to be when you guys had a misunderstanding?? I know girls can be dubious when they're vulnerable, just quarrelled with their boyfriends, i know i have, but does she have another motive behind it??

You guys have to talk . . sit her down and request her uttmost sincereity, look her in the eyes and remind her that "marriage" isn't a one year's contract, it should be for life. So both parties should be sure of what they want, is she really really in love with you, want to marry you and no one else?? Is she with you beacuse her "ex" didn't propose?? After she apologised to him, why did he sleep over?? Does she still have some known or unknown feelings?? Is she 100% happy where she is (in your arms)?? The grounds on which you're breaking up, is not yet solid.

Read out the truth from what she has to say, maybe she just wanted to make up with her past and give it a final and amicable closure, maybe she was just being a girl or maybe something yet to be read is written all over it - - - you got to find out what it is, anyone who's dating someone that has had an "ex", is countable for that kind of "wondering"  - - - - it could have been you in her shoes Cut her a slack, I do think she loves you, does she love you enough?? Find out dear!!! Nairalanders can only help you to an extent, but you have to walk the mile . . its love.

@ tete ,($ammy)

I love that post of yours, came out so calculated but i still believe on the fact that there are those "don't know what they have until they loose it", this lady might be one of those cases

You'll never know unless you tried, but please on bended knees i plead, if you no longer habour genuine feelings towards her, let by gone be by gone. Fashy her, tell her you aren't interested, be that gentle man you were back in school, show her that "all animas are equal but some are more equal than others" so let her see you're a better one than she is . . like Thoniaslim said, the pleasure will last for some minutes, but it won't be worth the anger and guilt that might last a life time and if you got the revenge you seek, what would that make you?? a better man?? feel better about yourself?? Haba, let it go

If you still care about her, just for the sake of the 20% that isn't all out for the cash, give her a chance, sooner or later she'll show what she's made of, and what her purposes were . . did she come to realise what a precious jewelry she turned down back then?? No one can tell . . is she just scheming for the wealth you've achieved?? only a fortune-teller could be certain

One of the things in life we have to go through to know the end!! Good luck, but let vengeance lie, look where you are in life and know that everything happens for a reason, everything. Be grateful to God, and let the past go, it'll only eat you deep, not advisaeble at all.

BigSis:
Of course, love for a child is unconditional and permanent. Love for a spouse is generally conditional and not always permanent.

You've hereby succeeded in convincong and not confusing me that "the love of a mother is greater than that of a wife"

But the answer cannot be a one way traffic thingy, i therefore put in that there are those "few" who fall out of the group

i miss my darling cherry, she knows who she is

But not to worry, we'll catch up

I miss . . .

Now that's the definition of "there is love in sharing" lol - - -LMCAO