₦airaland Forum

This story is soo fake, that even the devil will be impressed with whoever had the imaginative power to orchestrate such an event.



Wow!!!

Divay22:
I can't pm you, the question has already been answered....
But I'll ask again, If you get it right, pm you'll get.

A girl cannot be a break of my heart

Divay22:
1)A man was killed on Sunday morning.
His wife found the body and called the police, the police arrived and questioned the chef, maid, butler, and gardener....
Their alibis were :
Chef---making breakfast
Maid---getting the mail
Butler--setting the table
Gardener---watering plants
The police immediately arrested the criminal... Who was it and how did they know...

2)Which word, if pronounced right is wrong, but if pronounced wrong is right?.


Good morning.

1) The maid(sends mails on Sundays?
2) Wrong.




Get ready for pm bombs

Nma27:
Who is the poorest man in Nigeria?
Who invented kuso?
How many spoons of salt is needed to cook jollof rice for 300 guests?

I think I just developed a headache. Who asks this kind of questions?

Nma27:
Just bounce on that tummy and see him vomit dollars

if na like that pestle I go use pound the belle

soberdrunk:
Owelle the Great!! The next president of Nigeria 2023!!

Ps-If you must insult me, make sure you either type 'correct' English or type in your native language......

otele nkịta dị ka gị.

Sorry, but i don't eat burnt food, + who go scrub the pot after? You try. Mtcheeeeeeeeeeew!



Washing plates is enough torture for me, talkless of scrubbing a burnt pot. I go kuku leave my kitchen run.

Slay queen
Womb escape
Igbo
Afonja
Aboki
Sapiosexual(like WTF?! )
Feminist
Anything APC
HML
HBD




Not forgetting
kk (if I'm chatting with lady and she just types kk, I immediately get the irresponsible fool deleted)

One by one they are coming back,


2019 loading.. ....

This man is a disgrace to Igbos in general , so which is your name or surname? Okorocha or Anayo? So your family gave you Okorocha because you came out as a boy not a girl? Then it means Anayo is your surname not Okorocha? This man is a bundle of confusions wrapped together.

Whether Okorocha or Okoroawusa, Rochas because of greed you threw away the golden opportunity you had to be the greatest leader in Igboland, greater than Zik and Ojukwu combined. But you betrayed your people, Improvished the people of Imo State and turned Imo State into a personal property. Well posterity will judge you, just know as we say in Igbo "onye na azụ ala ọzụzụ ọzụzụ na amụta onye na ere ala orire orire".

Explorers:
The winding Stelvio Pass, Italy



With 180 degree bends and low barriers, Stelvio Pass in Italy is not one ofthe easiest drives.


But it might be one of the most scenic, as the winding route is located 9,045ft up in the Alps, offering breathtaking views.


In icy conditions you may want to drive carefully around its 48 hairpin turns.

This road was featured in the "Italian Job video game". Great work Explorers.

Explorers:
The optical illusion road, The Storseisundet Bridge Atlantic Road, Norway.



It's enough to make even the most fool-hardy of motorists turn their car around.


But this apparent road to nowhere is merely an optical illusion dubbed 'the drunken bridge'.


Situated on the west coast of Norway on the Atlantic Road, the Storseisundet Bridge is so dramatically shaped it has featured in television adverts.


It sits on the five-mile long road which was constructed in 2005 and has become hugely popular with tourists.

The structural and Geotechnical Engineers that did the calculations of the loads, type of of foundation, wind pressure, etc must have had nightmares designing this bridge from the scratch. This is just impressed.
Engineering is beautiful.

SalamRushdie:
Stop trying to change history please , under Shagari Nigeria had the biggest airline in Africa and the middle east , we had the most equipped airforce only behind Iran , isreal and Iraq in Africa and the middle east , we had the most sophisticated telecoms switching capability in the whole of Africa , No Nigerian knew what a second hand car was yet you come here to spew the lies Buhari cooked because of his selfish desire to be ever disobedient and greedy ... Under Shagari Nigeria was at it peak as giant of Africa so Buhari had no reason to overthrow them and derail our economy till date

Guy please tell me your brand, I'll have it delivered at your doorstep.

It's good to know that there are people who see beyond this their "anti-corruption" charade.

bigtt76:
Thanks for the clarification UT you're still echoing what I've been saying "encourage the private sector to sponsor research works".

If the government through u guided policies is preventing the academia from accessing enough of this private sector funding, then it is bad and should be addressed correctly.

ASUU on their part should explore ways to make the populace understand clearly the issue at hand and not make us all believe they're clamouring for salary increment under other guise.

ASUU should also find a better means of fighting the government and always embark on strike. The effect is on the students who might be their only hope for tomorrow. If I suffer under persistent strikes I understand nothing about, when I become a minister, I would careless about ASUU.

The FG should bring up policies that mandates the private sector to fund university research, but in my other post, I made it clear that the FG must increase funding to the universities. Do you know the bottlenecks we face to even get consumables to use in the lab to teach students? I'm not talking about research here, don't even get me started on the challenge of electricity.

I say this without contradiction, Google how much the US, EU, UK, Canada and Australia spend annually on funding university education, then you will know that we have lost it in this country. Look ASUU's demands, is not all about pay, it's more about the infrastructural development and funding of the university.

[quote author=bigtt76 post=59672510

bigtt76:
Government funding for research abroad accounts for less than 1% of total funds available to the various institutions for their training and research works.

We too like 'government idle type of jobs' in this country that's why most became lecturers to earn that free idle cash. Have you seen or heard of a lecturer in a law department or medical doctor in the department of medicine that has no private practice or working in a hospital? Once you're a professional or qualified in a profession, nothing stops you from practicing but not so with our lecturers....they must be pampered.

Why do you sound so pained? Google how much the EU, US, Canada and Australia spend annually on research then come back here and comment.

The pampered part really got me laughing, like seriously? I just wish I could make you spend a week, just a week in my office and home, believe me, you will know that we are being paid peanuts.

bigtt76:
How can government fund and grant autonomy at the same time? ASUU de crase shaaaaa. They want government money to spend as they like ko? Why don't they ASUU come up with a scheme to make money for their respective institutions? Useless people like our National Assembly

let me assume you made this comment out of ignorance of how university education is run in this country. This is like the local governments asking for autonomy from the state governments. How can you carry out needed research when the government and NUC pegs how much you get, with little or nothing left for research, and you will still come here to say we produce half-baked or theoretical graduates?

I totally agree for the 1st time with Oby on this one, we have a lot of multinational companies with heavy business interests in this country, the should be encouraged(mandated if need be) to sponsor research in the areas they operate in this country, rather than sponsor reality TV shows that add zero value to the country. Without bankable researchs going on in our various institutions how do we expect our academic products to be recognised worldwide? I have a friend in the UK, he is in the academia. This guy got a research grant worth over a million euros. Why won't he do exploits and be taken seriously the world over. For our universities to be ranked at least among the first 500 in the world, we must fund our universities.

UNESCO wasn't crazy when they mandated countries the world over to give atleast 30% of their yearly budget to the educational sector. Nigeria gives less than 2.5%, and you believe we will develop further than this? ASUU, is doing the country a favour, take or leave it.

Believe it or not, they just made that song popular, now everybody is going to want to watch it.

Mynd44:
Eh? Me that I am single to stupor

chai! Guy you no dey give all these NL girls wey dey crush on you hope o. "Single to stupor" now that's new

Uzyvicks:
Ooooooo why blur her face naw. Lols. Enwe

Enwe is an understatement

isaacsegun:
Please fellow nairalanders, Ineed your urgent advice.
We started dating as far back as year 2007, then she was 17 while i was in my early 20s. I'm her first love, in fact, I was the person that deflowered her. I got her pregnant during the course of our relationship in which we aborted, the abortion almost took her life.

Since after the abortion issues that create serious problem between her parents and mine, her parents has kicked against our relationship including mine but she's insisting we must marry even up till today.

Please guys, should i just tell her that we cannot marry because i can see that she's very desperate to marry now as age is not on her side, but I'm afraid to tell her that the relationship cannot work because she can do anything (like attempting to even take her own life)

Guy I feel your pain, not to even imagine the curse wey only you don collect from NLers This why I avoid Virgins like a plague, a woman never ever forgets her 1st love. My personal advice to you is to try your very best to marry that girl, because you will not find a more loyal partner in life, plus 10 years no bi moimoi.
I'm no stranger to parents saying no to partners, I experienced it 1st hand with my mum cos she didn't like my last girlfriend. I sat down and observed her opinions, and truly after a while, the girl started acting up. That what an elder sees while sitting down adage is true. From what I see, you are tried and want to test more waters, because you didn't say why the parents from both sides disagree to the union, and you marrying her now is out of sentiments, so either way, the girl is seriously fuccked.

Dude, just marry the poor punnay and get it over with.




Girls and 1st love sha.



My prayer : Lord please let the 1st and only girl I would ever deflower in this life be my wife.


AMEEEEEN!!!

From all I have been reading since yesterday, it's clear that this ASUU strike will last for a very very long time.

ASUU went on a 7day warning strike early this year, what stopped the federal government from calling them for negotiations since then? Now you are calling the strike unnecessary?

This APC lead government is a failure. QED!!!

itsJude:
See who is talking


Look at your life and u are making mouth Send me every single person in your village acct number, make i change una destiny


While you dey arrange the acct numbers, take 2846392638362 glo 1000 go and sell it and feed

Choi!

I bought them all, except for westlife, was too sissy for me then .



I still have the complete Eclectic album downloaded on my phone and laptop. Wonder why Wyclef ain't rolling out hits like that one.

He knows that he will lose his fraudulently gotten oil Wells

this government should just stop all these media grandstanding campaigns of propaganda. These guys have been singing this same song since September 2015,till now nothing. If una wan pay, pay and then make noise, not make noise and have absolutely nothing to show for it. Mtcheeeeeeeeeeew!!!

The chinkos You've got to love their business savvy nature. Personally, I just don't like tecno phones, but they actually made smart phones available to one and all in a market traditional dominated by high end phone manufacturers like Samsung and iPhone.

Never knew Huawei was a Chinese company thought it was Korean. That's nice to know.

Destinyy22:
Sombori cannot support her bae in peace again?..

Babe, become a Madrid fan, and I promise you a premium Madrid fan club ticket with a Real Madrid team jersey with your name on it.


Fellow Madrid fans, come make we join hands convert this one ASAP!!! She is salvageable.

Raintaker:
Nobody was born right handed or left handed.

Using our right or left hand or for some both is a habit we've developed over the years.
From our cradle right to this present moment of our life.





Without saying/writing much, being a leftie is simply a bad habit that has been left to develop overtime either unchecked or the unwillingness of the user to take to corrections.

Anybody can develop using either hands at any particular time in their life, a friend broke his right arm back then in secondary school, he automotically switched to the left(he had no choice) and even wrote his exams with it.








Contact me for your shoppings on Jumia, I track your goods and make sure they are delivered at your doorstep.
Contact on my signature.

I honestly wanted to insult the living daylight out of you this useless comment you made, but on seeing your dp and believing that you are a little bit spiritually enlightened I will hold up on the insults for now.
But truthfully speaking people like you are what's wrong with the world. How can you say that people choose which hand they get to use and that using the left hand is a bad habit. Which planet are you from? Why is using a left hand a bad habit? Or are you judging from an outdated superstition that also said that having twins where bad and that the kids should be killed? What for the life of me makes a left hand a "bad habit"?
Nature wouldn't have given us two hands if one should be tagged as useless or in your words a bad habit.

As for your friend that broke his right hand and automatically switched to the left, even a science rooky knows that if one loses use of any body part or even any of the five senses, the other senses naturally becomes heightened.

Please stop all these superstitions, it's old.

iamnlia:
I hate playing soccer and i write with my right hand but unlike testimonies I'm seeing here, my writing is super gorgeous.

Bro, no jokes. A kid learning how to write has a far better handwriting than me. One of my teachers back in the secondary school days once described my handwriting as a horror movie.... It's that bad.


Luckily, I was kinda good in maths. So I believe that's I didn't have much problems as an engineering student back in my undergraduate days

Prettythicksmi:
lol,i don't know why my mom changed it tho,my writing is bad. I hate writing.

Choi!!! I bin think say na only me ooo

I was born a lefty, but my late granny convinced my mum to tie a wood to my left hand to stop me from developing it. Mum said the wood was attached to my left hand till I was about 3 years old, to stop me from using the left hand because of some stupid superstitions. I am a righty now, but my handwriting is the worst I have ever seen till this day. Mama regrets that action till this day, but what's done is done.

I'm ambidextrous though, but sometimes(actually most times) I get confused on which hand is which, and which leg to actually kick a soccer ball with, and that's why I hate football.