₦airaland Forum

1. Never put up in in-law’s house!

Even if your wife’s dad is Dangote, never be tempted to settle in his house. No that’s not economical, rather it’s sheer cowardice! You’d never be respected! Every hardworking and hard-thinking man has his transient trying times(the lazy’s trying period is eternal tho!) doesn’t matter if all you can afford is a 1 bedroom Lagos slum apartment for now, if your in-laws can’t trust your wife with your future, let them marry their child!

2. Never accommodate family members!

It’s baseless having to accommodate siblings, brothers and sisters In-law beyond marriage!Your house shouldn’t be an IDP camp for them; Or better still continue, your undoing will catch-up when your wife’s junior sister starts complaining you buy more clothes for your siblings than her. No matter the temptation, better hire a registered house-help and take care of your siblings and in-laws from afar. Always remember, not a human being can be satisfied!

3. Have a plan for all visitors!

Sit your wife down and tell her irrespective of the position of the visitor, have a definite number of days, quality of meal, departing funds to give all!

“You gave your daddy 2 pieces of meat, you gave mine 1” bullshyte stories have destroyed many young families. Be wise!

4. Never accept financial aids NOR borrow from your in-laws

That’s if you have any amount of dignity left in you, but if you don’t care to lose your voice, you can indulge in that. Better die than give in, I won’t say much, never look up for your manna from them!

5. Scarcity is invaluable!

A social function is at hand and you are already thinking how to help them arrange chairs and kill the cow. Can you also help them wash plates after the program?
Have your envelope ready, make it as fat as your pocket can, attend the gathering and leave!

6. Respect and nobility will save you a lot!

No matter how rich you may be, always prostrate whenever visiting them even if they are not worth any of your respect. Don’t be quick to anger, keep quiet when they talk; these are the measures your parents-in-law will use to either defend/destroy you whenever their child reports you to them! This value will win wars for you in absentia..trust me!

7. Occasionally send gifts

Once in a blue moon, never fail to send wine to your papa-in-law, also send money/gift to mama-in-law, do these and see them blush at the sight of you! It doesn’t matter if the wine is N50, it’s a conviction you had a little left for them having taken good care of their daughter.

1. No best friend!

A company/firm can be likened unto a country with different ethnicities. Alliance to one ethnic group may mean defiance to some/others as the case may be. Radiate the same degree of allegiance to everyone, don’t be close to a particular individual, trust me, eyes are watching you!

2. Nobility is a scarce resource, one you must have!

Are you the type that leaves food leftovers on lunch tables after break; of course who cares, the cleaners would attend to that. It is only noble and professional that even those people are below you, you gotta give some respect and show them you are not one of those assholes. Did you spill tea on the floor, grab the mop and diy!

3. Never give audience to the gossipy mates:

The rule is: if he/she can gossip about others to you, he/she can gossip you to others. When such people come with their usual talks, politely avoid them and pretend you have something to do even if you don’t! Do not give in because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings, maintain your stand!

4. Never bell the cat!

If a boss is erring, never be the one to let it out. You are not a town crier or newscaster. If it is so important that it cannot wait, do well to report such anonymously! Trust me, that erring boss has another superior boss who will stop at nothing to burn pointing fingers. Don’t be a smart fool!

5. Never defaecate near your dining!

Whatever brings you food, even if it’s business, never do shitty deals near such. Learn to master your heart; be logical, be a master at switching off and on romantic mode. Whoever is giving you green signal, be quick to respond in halogen powered red lights. Office romance never ends well. While money-bred hate might be deadly, romance-bred hate is deadlier. Every romance has expiry date, what then happens after expiration?

6. Never be a pawn!

You were asked to come sign/ratify on behalf of one of the absent bosses and you are already thinking high of yourself to have been called upon in such situation; my friend; go and read about Atiku and his PDTF ordeal.

7. Zip your mouth:

Trust me, a single clause can have 5 different meanings, who knows which of the meanings would reflect on listeners’ mind? Shut your mouth and open it when it’s pertinent. When asked for your opinion, tell them you have none, it doesn’t mean you are not wise. Don’t be quick to smear your intelligence at people’s face, trust me, some don’t care and some extremely bitter souls don’t give a bleep. Don’t get into trouble, don’t settle fights, you are not Jesus and you ain’t no mediator. Let whichever party who wanna fight; remember, fighters only disturb everyone when it’s bitter, they’d never call when it is/was sweet!


Add yours!

5. Excessive make-up

Ever wondered why he doesn’t wanna look at you after a hot round of sex? Not far-fetched, your painting and mascara is gone, your wig is in shambles as a result of hair-pulling, why would he wanna look at you?
Can we kiss you without the fear of getting stamped on the cheek?

We not asking for too much, but understand, beauty is hidden in simplicity!

Thank you!

4. Defend us by starting fights:

We love women who are not quick to fight, doesn’t mean she is a dumbo. I guess that’s wisdom - a turn on for we men.
If you start a fight, trust me, you’d end it alone, we are not hulk hogan abeg.

3. Onion treatment:

This is a real turn off in the other room. Why should I exhaust my precious energy on removing a pencil jean, a boxer and a tight before the main granny underwear? Do you live in a rapist community?
Why should he have the feeling you are an onion? A lot of women are yet to understand giving their cookies the onion treatment is a core factor to creating offensive odour in that area.

2. Long nails:

Manicure doesn’t necessarily equate long nails treatment. You can fix nails with moderate length and cool/transparent colors. Why should you decorate his back with tribal marks while getting laid?
Why should he be careful around you? You can’t move your hand around him without startling him, wth?
Whenever you scratch your body, the ringtone sends shivers down his spine and gives him goose pimples, why?
Whenever I see a lady with nails similar to that of a hawk, my mind’s reflective thought is she is not really crafty at home; she’d probably be lazy or won’t sacrifice her nails for basic home chores.

Our women are the best thing that can ever happen to a man if you marry right, they’d give you food, rest of mind, love and most importantly a whole human.

However, there are interests misconstrued by ladies, they think we love or do not care but in the real sense, we actually do care a lot!

1. Territorial display of underwear:

This is a total turn off, the most nauseating. Why would anyone want to see varying sizes, shapes and types of panties hanged on shower stands and windows? Why should panties brush his head while he takes his bath early in the morning? It’s a bathroom and not a museum/showroom.
The worst are those living in apartments with varieties of families yet spread these outside without giving a common bleep as to the position of their neighbours.

Lavidalocaa

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Dear, he shouldn’t have done it at all. He had a perfect face, the so-called big nose by his brothers aint big at all...

He contributed to the cause of the supremacy fight of the caucasians...why trying that hard to look like them when you are handsome as an African? That’s a bad heritage if you ask me.

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Last years:


MJ left this world on 25th June, 2009 at Holmby Hills, Los Angeles, California, United States.



Lalasticlala
Mynd44

2003:

This was after his arrest for child molestation. In 2002, MJ told ABC news “I've had no plastic surgery on my face. Just my nose. It helped me breathe better so I can hit higher notes."

But everyone knows that’s some clear-cut lie

2001:

His look is startling and reports had it his nose had become unbreathable due to numerous nasal plastic suregery. The more surgeries he had, the more insatiable he became.

1995:

At 36 years, he is completely different from the Afro pop singer he was. He was more wise-eyed, square-jawed, and obviously has reduced his signature curly hair.
I don’t like this!

1993:

Oprah Winfrey interviewed him on his new skin tone but attributed it to a skin disease called vitiligo. Pamela Lipkin, a plastic surgeon claimed it’s the most unusual case of vitiligo ever seen.

I don’t believe that too!

1991:

He released ‘dangerous’, the first single was a hit titled ‘black or white’. Of course some interpreted it to be the reason behind his ever changing skin tone.

1989:

He was captured here during a famous event - Soul train awards which was held in Los Angeles, unmasking a more narrow nose, heavily lined eyes and a more revealing cleft on his chin.

1987:

In the five years between Thriller and Bad, his face has tremendously changed and a lot of plastic surgery has come and gone.

1981:

This was during the release of ‘thriller’, his nose has changed the more and now has his signature curly hair having ditched his seventies Afro. Reports had it he has undergone a nasal plastic surgery

1979:

He released his fifth solo album (off the wall) in this year; this was also his first attempt at plastic surgery.
It was reported his first rhinoplasty was carried out at age 21 when he had his nose broken during a dance rehearsal!

1977:

MJ is 18 years old in this pic, the reality of puberty is even more pronounced and he became even more traumatized by this, he hated his nose too. His fame had begun to outshine his brothers, reports had it he was called ‘big nose’ by his brothers.

1975:

The realities of puberty is setting in, acne is giving him worries, his skin is getting too oily. His biographer Randy Taraborrelli J. thinks it is affecting the youngster.

1973:

He already released 3 solo albums and the first hit of his lifetime ‘Ben’; what a cute star in the making.
His baby fat is already disappearing.

Micheal Jackson is an household name, loved by many, but ironically he never loved himself, even his looks!

This is MJ as a boy, isn’t he cute?