₦airaland Forum

It's shocking. If there was something she did that was so bad that the father had no choice but to refuse to pay the fees to correct her it would be a different issue. But not that she told her dad to wash plate and because of that he has refused to pay her fees. Nah. Too harsh.

paraltero:
The funny thing is this article never explicitly said she was rude or said it in a manner that lacked respect. The article only implied from what was said that it must have been rude.

What if she's busy and couldn't do his dishes and asked him to do it himself so dirty dishes wouldn't stay stinking up the kitchen.

Besides, prior to this, she must have been doing his dishes so for her to ask him to do it himself, there has to be a context we aren't getting.



But of course, in their haste to justify their regular bashing of feminism, Nigerian men are already here, because food done done for them.

Poor girl has really suffered. Small washing plate will make him to stop paying school fees? Such a little thing and he is taking such drastic actions. Was it really that deep? probably thinks she won't survive without him so feels he can do anyhow he pleases to her over little issues. That's why such a little thing warrants him to stop paying her school fees.
I'm glad she has her mum supporting her. I hope she does away with such a Draconian "father" the way he has done away with her and finds her way without him.. Topics like this come up yet people keep wondering nonstop why it seems mothers are celebrated more than fathers.

Ps
Can't believe people are supporting and making excuses for his actions , using feminism and "teaching her good manners" as an excuse and as their scapegoat.


Edit.
To everyone quoting me crying about this comment.
Tbh I think you guys are right. What he did is even small. He even should have disowned her to teach her a lesson.
After all. There is no such thing as a too harsh punishment.

Smh

Goldenheart:

Lmao .why do I feel this is what babies see when someone tries to kiss them..
They probably are like who's this scary looking big face person trying to kiss me

Never understood how people found it ok to kiss babies. The worst are those who kiss babies straight on their lips. I feel it's doing too much.

The bitterness the guys here are spewing just because of this gift is beyond shocking. What kind of hate and extreme jealously is this?

Some of you may not give a lady you like a gift because you don't operate like that, some of you may give a lady you like a gift that doesn't cost so much money because that's what you can afford and/or that is the level of your generosity. Your biz.
Now someone gave a lady he likes dollars because he can afford it and that is how generous he is. You all come here to vomit rubbish all over this thread.

All the guys who commented on this thread typing trash need serious help. Bitterness and jealousy everywhere. Mtcheewwww.

Op is it possible for your husband to quit his job and move with you to the new place? Then look for a job there?
If it was just you and your husband it would be different, but you have kids and you need to take care of you kids. Steady fixed high salary will always be greater then irregular (both in pay and frequency) salary.


Or do you feel you can get a job like the one out of town in your present location? Do you want to take the risk and pass on this job? I think taking this job and moving is the better option.

How did feminism make her unmarried and childless?

It's a very simple question. What did he do.
We need to hear both sides of the story.

Its wrong for her to hit him but let's not be too quick to judge, you know the way men talk. Acid mouths. It's takes a very strong woman to walk away. Men learn to control your mouths. I know it's wrong for women to hit you men but men for your own good. Control your tongue, to avoid things like this.

Mynd44:
Well they have admitted the crime.

This is where you sue for emotional distress, physical pain and demand for millions.

Damn straight. Bleep apologies.

Davido's trash wasn't even an apology. Hate that trying to play middle ground bs people like to pull. He either says sorry alone or he keeps shut. Apologising and still attacking the guy, just to seem "objective" or some bs like that. Smh. A very disrespectful "apology"

And Peruzzi with that patronizing bs. As if he didn't know that it's wrong to out your hands on someone in the first place.

He should even sue for assualt.

8 year old marriage and you "returned" her back to her parents?

Women in this country are suffering sha. I don't know how courts split assets in the case of a divorce in this country but in a reasonable country the court will decide who gets what, then we'll see if she will be the one that will return you back to your parent's house

MUSAPLC:
Dear great people.
This week was one of my happy week since 8 year ago, i just returned my wife back to her parents because of following reason:
1 .She don't have any atom of respect for me including all my family member.
2.she is always compliant that she don't like sex or giving you conditions and time to have sex with her
3. She believed that her decision or whatever she said is finally.
4.She wouldn't Cook, because she cook yesterday I.e would you take Tea or
5.She don't like go to church and prayer,my little child of 4 year is aware that her mother don't prayer
6.She wouldn't pick my phone call n when she pick she would asking me with high voice why call her.
7.She don't want me to talk her, let me allow to do whatever she want
This demon wife am the one feeding ,clothing, housing ,I work with a multinational company.
I want thank God for his Grace all through that trying moment

"Demon" wife you are feeding clothing blah blah blah.
No. we are the ones that will feed, clothe and house her. In fact we'll even fu*k her for you. what utter nonsense.

I wish you guys had a real divorce not this sham nonsense of you returning a wife of 8 years to her father's house. I wonder if she even left with anything. Poor lady.

AmazonTopaz:
Lol, Thank you.Nice submissions these men need help. It is ladyhippolyta88 this is my alternate.

You're welcome.
I know I think I saw a post a long time ago where you told someone this was your alternate.

You finished work.

AmazonTopaz:
I am writing this based on some of the comments I read on this forum by males as regards female issues.

The African society focuses on training females more than males. They teach girls how to be good wives and mothers and they forget to train our boys on how to be good husbands and fathers.


I believe the average Nigerian man (some) are insecure, have low self esteem and lack self confidence hence why they derive pleasure in insulting women

They also misogynistic and have control issues.

. Sometimes I wonder who raised these boys that they believe their manhood is validated by a woman subjecting herself to him and allowing him be the alpha and omega of her life. That is why a lot of them are obsessed with the word "submission", "captain" and "head of the house title".

A man with confidence, high self esteem would not be obsessed in wanting to control a full grown woman in 2019 who basically has the same rights as he does.
It is insecurity, lack of self esteem and self confidence that makes a man feel intimidated by a sucessful and independent woman.It is due to lack of self esteem that they want to feel on top or over a woman.
They believe their gender or sex makes them lord over every woman. They are obsessed with authority, power and do not know how to be leaders.

They feel it is okay to slut shame sucessful women call ladies despicable names and you wonder if these men have sisters or mothers.

They were raised by people with the same messed up mindset and some of them weren't raised the same way but bowed to such behaviour due to pressure. Like you said. Low self esteem. Wanting to fit in with trash.

Ask them why they want control in the form of submission from a woman WHO DOESNT WANT Submission (after all there are women looking for men to be their head but they leave thise women and start attacking others who don't want such a lifestyle) they start repeating like trained parrots that the Bible says a woman must submit to her husband. Or their boring spiel about how a Captain cannot have 2 ships or is it a ship that cannot have 2 captains.
Nothing sensible. No personal reason. Acting like they are being controlled and unable to think things through logically and give a Reason why they want submission so bad, but these are the same men that want a woman to submit to them. These are the same men that want to lead others.

For those who keep insulting women, I don't wonder if they have sisters or mothers, I wonder if they have brains. They don't need to have female relations to know not to disrespect women, they know that, but they go about typing trash anyway. The trash they type about women with full confidence. Any human being with simple common sense would be ashamed to type even half of it. They are extremely foolish and comfortable in that foolishness, yet they raise their shoulders and think they've done something reasonable. It's honestly embarrassing.

They feel it is okay to lord over a full grown adult and that such adult(women) cannot be a partner but a subordinate.

I believe some of these men raised in Nigeria have personal issues that they need to deal with on their own before bringing an unfortunate woman to share in such misery and clean up their mess.

I blame society's double standard that fails to hold men accountable as much as women are held accountable maybe then this self entitlement mentality, the view of women as commodities and superiority complex would be a thing of the past. Our men need exposure and enlightenment. I hope we raise better boys to become good men in the future and not just women alone.

Once again. You have finished work..
The funny part is that some of these men know better but refuse to do better. You'd be shocked to see those who are branded as young boys because they insult women are fully grown men who have just chosen to be stupid.
Besides. Youth is not equal to stupidity. Youth is not an excuse.

Apt.

doitforyou:
[b]There is nothing like "what does submission mean to you?" the word submission only means one thing "to yield to a higher authority". The meaning of the world will NEVER change no matter how much some Nigerian women dance around it when asked. Most Nigerian women will start by " I believe i should submit BUT" because they don't want to be bashed for rejecting that word or they start with "I am a christian so I have to BUT" most women will NOT subscribe to the real definition of 'Submission'. As you can see with the responses on this thread, most will start with standard "I believe women should submit but" will then go on to explain scenarios that are NOT submissive ones

For example is just like how some women will say "I am not a feminist because" and then go on to describe feminism, all because they don't want to be tagged with the 'dirty' word. See as some women on this thread are ascribing non submissive scenarios to the word "submissive" [/b] because women have been conditioned that respect and submission mean the same thing.

The right question will be "do you subscribe to submission in a marriage?" NO. RESPECT is much better.

Yay you got your thread back congrats op I like that. nice one seun & mods.
Let seun rest before he sees 20 threads all dedicated to him

Anyway. Seun, Since it seems you're in an obliging mood, how about that block button? What do you think? It's a good idea

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

I'm glad you know the best thing is to get a divorce and move on.

I wish you all the best.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Such a useless man. Please mind your business, and your business doesnt include a cheater and a man who talks to you any which way he feels like.

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

You're beautiful. Don't listen to a word he says.

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

African men know. A lot just don't care. When you talk they attack you for talking. Ignore them and live your best life. They aren't worth it
Calm down. Don't rush for any kind of revenge.. Focus on leaving him first. Divorce him, make sure you and your child are safe and well taken care of. Please surround yourself with people who love and support you during the process of the divorce and after., your mental, emotional and physical health.
That's what really matters now. Ignore the fool.

It will all be all right.

Love this thread op.

drslimtommy:
They keep making reference to women..

Men and responsibilities....


Nawa o

It's too funny
Topic says how much should a MAN earn before marriage.
CLEARLY men only.
Yet They keep trying to drag women into the matter. counting women's salaries to add to it.
"HOw MuCH dOeS tHe WoMAn eARn"?
Smh Lol

Even if dany was to die. Why, just why couldn't she kill sansa and tyrion before she died.
Once Dany was killed and drogon cried and took her body away I stopped watching. Won't even bother with the rest of this episode. Sansa? Tyrion? Bran? Jon? These are all that's left to watch? SMH.

No wonder Dany didn't like the ending.
What a disgrace.

Goodbye Daenarys and drogon. Goodbye Arya.

My best characters from day one.

G.O.T hasn't even aired yet but has been trending all day.
After today it will all be over.

Dany deserves to rule all the kingdoms. There is no one else who should or can rule, but, if she dies, I really hope she takes sansa and tyrion with her.


P.S
Is tyrion the last lannister alive? if he dies the lannister name dies with him?

Kennydoc:
My dear, it was miraculous. I fervently prayed about it cos I had got to a point where I just didn't have any idea how it was going to work out anymore.
Within those few days after I met her, I was deeply convinced in my spirit that she was the one. For the first time in my life, I had absolute rest in my spirit regarding my relationship. She ticked ALL my boxes and added more ticked boxes alongside.
Thanks for rejoicing with me.

You're welcome.
This is so sweet. @bold
I'm happy for you many more happy years to you two

Adviseasister:
I saw the mention, you sounded very harsh to me, I didn't know what to respond I am very serious, I didn't know the thread will get these views. I only wanted him to realize what he is doing to me.

didn't mean to

But the truth is he knows what he is doing and he does it anyway.

Adviseasister:
He is not in the country, sis. I would have shown our chats but that will really get him angry. We would fix the flight bills between us.

You're really serious

You don't think seeing will help?

No.
I gave you a mentioñ earlier. That's the best thing for you

Adviseasister:
I don't think so. He just suggested I come over, so we can see and talk. A little intimacy might help.

I thought as much. You're trolling us
Go get your man lmao
Make sure he pays for your flight

Adviseasister:
You won't understand how much I want this and it has nothing to do with him being abroad as some people think. When you meet that man who defies all bad stereotypes associated with men. I guess good things don't last. How else do I explain this?

How is he breaking all the bad stereotypes when he is disrespecting you like the typical Nigerian fuckboy?
1)Ignoring your chats while chatting with someone else?

Adviseasister:
It is painful seeing him online.
About 3weeks ago, he was flirting with one female user, while ignoring my WhatsApp messages This is someone that rarely comments. I don't know what to do again.

2)Playing typical stupid games where when he sees you're tired of running after him for the crumbs of his affection and you're trying to withdraw from him, he starts giving you attention again so when you're hooked, he withdraws so that you start chasing him all around town and the game continues?

Adviseasister:
You seem to really understand my position. I will send him a message later at night, when I am sure he is home and rested.
I have tried to withdraw, but whenever I do, he will start up a little conversation and my heart would start beating faster. I guess I will have to move on if our conversation tonight doesn't go well.

He is a typical Naija fuckboy na. What's special there?
The handwriting is on the wall.

Ignore the guy, block and delete all numbers, block all means of communication, social media e.t.c, love yourself a little bit more so you won't want a person so much that you would consider sacrificing your self-respect just to be with the person

Next time someone ghosts you. Ghost them back, block and delete and never look back. If you feel down because you feel you lost someone whom you loved. Ask yourself how you can love a person who disrespected you so much, ask yourself how you can mourn such a love. Then tell yourself that you're better than that and pick yourself up.

Adviseasister:
He just sent me a screenshot of some posts, asking me if that is what I really think about him. If he is the man described in that post. He is kind of angry the thread made front page and got to this stage. He thinks the advices here are too harsh and would worsen a bad situation.

We have agreed to both go off NL and work things out like two people without the influence of NL.

I am sorry for bringing it here boo. It all started here, so I thought we could also ask for their opinion. You told me we would post our pre-wedding pictures to encourage other Nlders. What happened to all that?

SMH

Wish you the best sha.

Kennydoc:
Don't say much about this cos you truly don't understand.

I met my fiancée on Facebook and fell in love with her within 4 days. Within 16 days, I asked her out and she accepted. We still hadn't seen face to face. We were and still are in different countries and continents. We finally met 9 months later and got engaged.

I can tell you categorically that she's the most amazing friend and partner I've ever had. I've had a previous relationship that lasted 3½ years, I have equally had a number of female friends in the past, but my fiancée beats them all hands down. I am talking from a personal experience.

4 days, 16 days.
Wow.
Nice to see it's working out.

On how Cersei died.
D & D once said Cersei loves poetic justice (I don't know which d said it and I can't remember where)

So I think Cersei dying in burning building that collapsed is a nod to how she brought down the sept and her own poetic justice.

She used wildfire to blow up the sept and it collapsed. Daenerys used dragon fire to burn down the red keep and it collapsed on her.

Checkmate.

Thoughts on the episode.
Dany finally listened to Olenna
"You're a dragon. Be a dragon and boy was she a great dragon.
And she also listened to Missandei. I took Missandei saying dracarys as a message to dany saying burn it all up. Which she did.

I'm glad Arya got out alive. She tried to fulfil her promise to kill cersei, but Dany got cersei first.
Sad about clegane's death, was having my doubts on he and arya staying alive, especially when both said they weren't coming back to winter fell. Thought this was the producers telling us that they would die. So glad Arya's alive. R.I.P clegane.

Qyburn's death was so sad. Like he was so inconsequential that he could be killed in such a nonchalant manner. Lol, by his creation nonetheless, and when did the mountain turn to the incredible hulk?

Varys, Euron, Jamie and the mountain finally dead.
Good riddance.


I really want dany to deal with sansa in the finale. Sansa has been trying her all season. That's all I ask. D & D, that's all I ask.

Eberex:
Well well well, just finished watching episode 5.

Dani is really the mad queen. What kind of rage is that? Burning innocent people.

I was shocked with her rage, but I understand that she has been pushed to her limit.

Now I really want her dead.

Lol, why?
They killed her dragon. Killed Missandei,
Cersei really wanted to make her angry, she succeeded.
Dany has tried the calm peace maker route ever since this season started. She gave many chances that cost her a lot. Let her be angry for a bit.
It's war after all.

I can't wait for episode 6

D& D I forgive you