₦airaland Forum

Godsknight:
The wife confessed and admitted her mistake.... his own swing mood is not as bad as the op's husband... He only gets cold when the thought poops up in his head. He thinks time will heal his wound and get over it. I have advised him to overlook her mistake and start on a clean slate

Okay. Gotcha

Godsknight:
my elder brother is still behaving like the op's husband. He confided in me that his wife cheated on him with his ex who is married to someone else. He has tried to forgive her ,but he is finding it difficult to forgive her. Maybe the op is hiding something... we need to hear the man's version of the story.

.

Does your brother have proof of this? I have seen cases where women have been falsely accused of infidelity due to the insecurity and mental imbalance of the husbands. If your sister-in-law truly cheated then your brother should leave the marriage. His behaviour is not helping his mental state and is definitely not helping his wife's.

DameB:
There's already domestic violence... What he's doing is emotional abuse... There might be another woman and there might be no one... See ehn a lot of undiagnosed narcissistic and bipolar people are roaming free in this country

So true

khatea:
Reason I asked what their courtship was like but OP ddnt talk on dat. I think this shldnt just start all of a sudden after d wedding tho

Narcissists are people who are very loving in the beginning and then change when they become bored. When I see people talk about getting to know someone during courtship I just shake my head. Do you think narcissists show their real colours during courtship? They don't. Read up on narcissism and you will see painful stories written by the victims. When the abuse starts, most of the victims cannot reconcile the abuser to the person they thought they knew.

daddytime:
Lol

Marriage na school wey nobody don ever graduate from.

Will touch on this topic tomorrow. I feel so sorry for op.

She's been blackmailed and having her mind/head messed with deliberately by a narcissist.

It's a mind game.

You hit the nail on the head. The guy is a narcissist and the op should run away if she cherishes her mental health. Those people never change.

irumole1975:
I actually don't know where most of you guys are dating girls from. But the truth is she can never cheat on me. I've invested all my life on her. She just can't cheat

Don't ever vouch for another human especially if they are not your immediate family. It is great to trust your partner but at the same time do not think that because you have done a lot for another human being they will always be grateful.

EkunKekere:
England is in the middle of a heatwave with very high temperatures at the moment my dear dimwit.

[img]https://images./YbKTfPDlULj5HC2fSGk3r.jpg[/img]

Most bodies of water in Europe and North America don't get that warm in the summer despite the high temperatures.

LordKO:
Your introverted nature isn't the main cause of your obvious intolerance towards your stepmother in particular and her daughter in general. Your sociopathic nature is. If you can strive and conquer the negative attributes that made you sociopathic - they negative attributes are so glaring from your message - you'll automatically begin to rapport with them, regardless of your introversion. Most introverts are either sociopathic or psychopathic, but they hardly know or acknowledge this bitter truth.

Stop spewing rubbish. From what institution did you get your qualification?

perforetti:
Couldn't have been better said. Do yo live abroad? Cos you hit the nail on the head. People don't have helps here because it is expensive, and the ones who can afford it do get it. I have a 1 and half year old and I know how difficult it was to cope, I had my mum come to help for 8months and my mother inlaw currently helping, and will keep recycling our mothers visits to assist I and my mrs. also add daycare 2days in a week. It's not easy las las and people find it easy to jump to conclusions about why others make the decisions they do without knowin fully well people have different circumstances they are dealing with, and nobody knows it all or there's no particular way of doing one thing.

Yes I do live abroad. You are very lucky to have your mother and mother-in-law. I love your last sentence.

bukatyne:
Close open relationship.

Sounded funny.

This is the reason I used an Oxford comma. This is to show the fact that they are two separate things. A close relationship that encourages openness.

Ishilove:
Beating is part of the remedy. It should be part of the rehabilitation process.

I disagree with you. Beating does not solve the problem. The dad has to create a safe space for the boy to feel comfortable enough to express himself and have an honest conversation. Beating will cause the child to close up. This is the reason why a lot of parents do not have close, open relationships with their kids. What will make a child be open when they know that it will lead to beating?

genq:
I don't mean to gloat over your son's misfortune but this is what happens when a mother leaves the raising of her children to outsiders. Let me guess your wife is too busy to take care of the kids right? Because shes a "modern working class woman".

Go and ask women abroad how they manage to work full time and still raise their own children without househelp. Unlike these ones in Nigeria who after just one child, they can't do chores again. House helps are then put in place to assume the duties of a wife and mother.

Your son is one of many children out there suffering the consequences of these lifestyle choices.

The reason why many women abroad don't get house helps is due to the prohibitive cost. Secondly, many employers are more flexible and allow parents to choose their hours. There is also the option of working from home. Lastly, the transportation system in most major cities is more reliable and effective. It is not fair to compare women in Africa to their counterparts in the Western world. Trust me, many women would have help if they could afford it. Aren't there daycare centres?

ghost3040:
Y'all above me calling for his head should chill abeg..He's a Senator of the Federal Republic for crying out loud..the lady got what she deserved, U don't talk to a distinguished senator in such manner..

You're really a ghost because your brain is dead.

Pepperoniq:
There is something beyond this story that the accuser is not telling us.
As a certified psychologist, I am sure the girl was rape for the first time but other subsequent time with her was consensual.
It is easy to pry and play with in a teen's mind when they are engulfed either with curiosity or keeping to their needs.
On my own thesis and assumption, She is a bad ass and I can bet that she really enjoyed it.
Y Is she now telling us now, Attention!
Y didn't she report the case when all his family members knew what happened? No evidence??
What did she gain by this? Settlement gone wrong or sour relationship with the man!
Rape allegations can't be prove without evidence or the testimony of witnesses unrelated to the victim prior to when the incident happen.
No medical record..
Abeg, it is all trash.

Please return your certificate because you are a quack

AwkaetitiBabe:
Why employ such matured maid?



Even if I wanna employ a maid, definitely not a live in maid.

Don't tell me you are one of those who encourage child labour.

KendrickAyomide:
Sweet. No be me chop am o. Na thief i thief the picture

Please some of us have a phobia for snakes so it is not necessary to post such pictures especially when you didn't cook it or eat it. I steer clear of threads that have pictures of snakes and I would not want to start avoiding this thread if people start posting such pictures. Thanks for understanding.

Whatawow:
Jude of all people complaining about people showing off.wonders shall never cease

Grade A bad belle

Known picture thief

Same guy who posted a fake bank balance of 18m for attention

Same guy who posted borrow pose iPhone 7 to show off

Same guy who posed with a car and claimed it was his but got bursted

Same guy who was boasting about having 100k Instagram followers

Most recent of all, ever since he left Nigeria for the first time in his life to go to South Africa nairaland has not been able to hear word

He even posted a picture of his passport stamp to show off and prove that he was there and actually waited for the person to come online to see

Nobody should take him serious here o, if he had just a TENTH of the things of you had he would not fail to post it, but because he has nothing to show, all he can do is hate

Hating hypocrites dem

Now I understand a lot. Inferiority complex is his burden

iamJ:
compare and contrast

Cooking syringe vs chef okoro syringe

What matters is if the syringe does the job. What is the point of shelling out a lot of money for an item when you can get it cheaper and still do the same thing? Why do you think dollar stores like Dollarama and pound stores like Poundland are thriving? People have realized that you do not have to pay so much money for items especially if you can buy them cheaper. A lot of the luxury goods companies have a mark up for branding so you are paying extra for the brand name and not the utility of the item. With this post you are just showing your "bad belle" and envy.

TGM2015:
How did you leave your initial job?

The woman conclusion about you may not be connected with how you worked with her but how you left the job. You may not have known type of buttons she has been pressing because of you, only for you to tender your resignation. At least, she accommodate your inadequacies while you worked with her without reporting you or recommending that you should be sent back to your outsourced company.

Sometimes we need to reflect on recommendations that people gave on us. The woman comment might just be the best description of who you are as at the period you worked with her, because you are not the only new recruit in the same situation. You might be surprised to know how many people in your situation that the woman has experienced. God may have allow that mistake to happen for you to hear and make amend for possible future better offer coming your way. Don't live in self defense and denied blaming your attitude to work on your situation. Who knows whether that has also been the reason you are yet to get or sustain a good job after you left the initial one.

Now from your narration, you have support from your parent, your colleagues and supervisors and you cannot survive with their supports for a month. And I am sure the support comes more than once until everybody realized that you are just what the woman described you to be and stop giving you support. Secondly, you sometimes absent yourself from work, come to work late, don't meet your target, etc. Seriously, your condition wasn't the cause but your attitude to work. There are thousands of people who are in worst situations than you and survive the one and half months before pay. Moreover, if you have good attitude to work, relate well with people in the branch (operations and marketing staff), and not selective in assigned work, you can't be complaining of lack of support.

Though you might have been a changed person now, but at as that period of time the woman description of you is just the best description of who you are. My brother, think about it and make positive adjustments. May I also tell you never to include her as reference or better exclude that experience from your CV.

I wish you better job and new life to work.

I noticed that the OP did not respond to you although you made very pertinent points. He only responded to people who were consoling him, insulting his former manager or telling him that something better will come along. The OP certainly has a victim mentality and if he doesn't change his attitude he will face stumbling blocks all though his professional life. He needs to be more professional. He most likely quit without giving adequate notice. Also no professional brings their personal struggles to the workplace especially when it concerns finances. Most financial institutions would not want to employ someone who has glaring financial difficulties due to the fact that they may be tempted to steal money.

Thegamingorca:
You don't dispense medication to a child with a syringe

Rather you administer medication to a child with a syringe of course not orally

You are a lost cause.

Smalliegirl:
No one...Home base employee Zimbabweans and co...imagine eating egusi soup cooked by a non Nigerian even some Nigerian wey be say them born them with the soup still dey struggle to cook good egusi..hian! I yam talking too mush asblief

I hope you do realize that egusi is eaten in other African countries.

Thegamingorca:
Dispense

Tell Google to define that word for you first before you can think of telling me what you think you know


Oh Lord

You are the lazy youth Buhari was talking about. Here you go : "Dispense: to prepare and give out medicine". You think you know a lot but you are very ignorant and the sad part is, you are not willing to educate yourself.

Thegamingorca:
Syrup with a syringe?

Nah patent medicine store you learn that one from?

How many mls of the drug where you asked to force down your baby's throat

Abi the drug you buy no come with follow come graduated cup at the cap or a pipette for drops.

All these local women coming out here to embarrass emselves

You are the one who is embarrassing yourself. What she wrote is correct. You have Google at your disposal. Instead of arguing foolishly, you can do some online research. Syringes can be used to dispense syrup.

Sanchez01:
This thread used to be very interesting but it has become the Instagram of Nairaland where people go all out to impress people they've never seen. 'Cook In Your Kitchen, Take Pictures And Post It Here. SIMPLE!' and people are going as far filling syringes with raw Tomatoes/Ketchup. Far from reality, if you ask me. It is one thing being a chef on a professional level, it is another thing when you're alone in your kitchen. I can't imagine the pain of filling a cooking syringe with ketchup on a normal day in your kitchen... Haba!

The essence of every meal is simplicity; not how it is prepared but how it looks when it is finished. It would be a different ball game entirely if you were cooking for a gourmet or a critic. The pressure has pushed some to use slay queen filters on meals just because they don't want to be left behind.

To the Amiedi and Starch eaters, God bless your originality, the Okra cooks, the jollof variant cooks and lovers of simplicity, God bless you lots. To the complicated cooks, God bless you as well

I just pray we don't start seeing Crepe Bandages in plates, in the name of artistry.

I find your views very myopic. One does not have to be a chef to experiment in the kitchen. I watch Food Network and from time to time I would try to replicate what they do in my kitchen. I would even sometimes go to stores look at the different food gadgets and fantasize about what I would buy if I won the lottery. Life is more interesting when we go out of our comfort zones. We do not have to be professionals to try new things.

runwaymodel:
Envious, lmbo . I was waiting for a post like this. I'm not envious, dear. I'm an RN soon to be a Nurse Anaesthelogist. Some of us here are doing well but you don't know since we don't have the need to show off. To each their own.

Yeah go do your 100 hours a week to make money

iamJ:
I miss Nigerian food, this thread is the only way I can visually satisfy my appetite, there are some Nigerian restaurants here in SA but the prices na die

So keep up the good work


There is something I noticed People try too hard to form with their cooking here and it's c4 that causes it, how will someone use a full can of green peas to fry eggs?

Abeg I no wan talk plenty, the more simple a meal is the more appealing it is, putting rice inside coconut shell and sprinkling oil around it with ugwu leaf is amazing for people when no get package but I watch food Network alot and plenty cooking shows, every item on the plate must have a purpose, if decorations with food dey hungry me, I go watch food art shows but wetin concern me, just be yourself People, if you cooked ordinary white rice and stew it's amazing don't be pressured to put Rosemary leaf and sliced tomatoes next to it to draw likes, nobody will pay you for your efforts, people will only look and scroll



Having cornflakes and milk, no sugar

It's not Eba and egusi that I want so badly but wetin man go do

To progress in life we have to be open to new avenues. Yes you are Nigerian, but it doesn't mean you cannot try other cuisines. We live in a global village and it is nice to experience different cultures and cuisines. You apparently live in South Africa and I can bet my bottom dollar that you have not tried other cuisines. Please broaden your horizons and you will become a better person, not this person who is envious of others. if someone decides to use a whole can of peas how does that affect you? Is it because you cannot do the same? Not all fingers are the same. If you really watch Food Network like you claim you do, you will realize that presentation matters. Why do you think food photographers are thriving? People eat with their eyes and presentation matters.

runwaymodel:
Yup. Bet it's his "friends" here who like Sanchez and J's posts. Life! Don't see anything wrong with Sanchez or J's posts. Chasers posts for likes, no be lie. He alone has back to back posts on 1341 and 1342, like dang can someone else post? You get 30, 40, 50, 60 likes, shares on all your posts. One post you could take for constructive criticism you deactivate. Boy bye. Others here show off as well. Cococandy is another , this one likes to announce and showcase everything it's just hilarious to me...lemme stop there

This post of yours is very telling. It shows you are very envious. Some of you suffer from inferiority complex. Even if Chasers posted 50 pictures and you did not care for them all you had to do was scroll past his posts. Instead of being jealous maybe you should work hard and try to emulate successful people.

KIDfurniture:
This life sha..sometimes I just wonder how I made it this far in this same life considering all the struggles. Was blessed with a good mother, while I did small small Yahoo then as early as 2002 to support my self and siblings plus mum. Yahoo then was purely for fun. Attended a private university, graduated ,did nysc . 2013 I jejely stopped Yahoo cos a man preached to me. Jejely I started dog biz...my mum died 2013..I was left with 3 siblings ..dad still here but will never support . Before her death, her sickness drained our savings. I couldnt even contribute a dime for burial my papa disgraced me well.i didnt give up. I v never searched for a job in this country. CV I no sabi write but God just dey push me forward. I like business more..I v done different types of biz. Long story short...u can start something with as little as 10k as long as u no dey shame to work to make ends meet. When u start feeling too big, na then problem go start. I have worked in a local bakery , worked as a laundry man, worked in a block industry , did furniture biz , now I m on cryto currency biz. It's been God plus discipline. Stay away from broke girls please.

What has this world turn to when people openly talk about being a fraud? How do you think you will prosper in life after doing "yahoo yahoo". You do not even show remorse for your criminal activities. How do you think your victims felt? Well face your karma.

bukatyne:
I completely agree with you.

Thanks

Oyindidi:
Your wife needs your attention and you brought the issue to NL. Men are the reason most women cheat

So instead of telling her husband she needs attention, she signs up on a dating website? Is the husband a magician to know what his wife needs? @op from what I can tell your wife is bored and she is looking for fulfillment in the wrong place. Sometimes we are the cause of our headaches. Instead of your wife looking for ways to spice up her marital life she goes looking for excitement outside. What does she mean by you both rushed into marriage? She is an adult and if she was not ready for the commitment of marriage she should have said no to your proposal. I believe that in order for your marriage to move on from this rough patch, she would need to fully recommit herself to the union, apologize sincerely, stay off dating sites, communicate better and maybe keep herself fully occupied so that she doesn't have time for adulterous activities.

StarUp:
Op, you want to hear the bitter truth? It's either your mum or your elder brother or the both of them are under a heavy spell. If you are a Christian, advise them to go for deliverance in a specialized church or prayer mountain... After you finish the spiritual aspect, then advise your elder brother to go look for a better job.

Rubbish

chival:
This is far from being mumu. This is sheer wickedness and I am speaking from experience. There are guys who thrive best when they are assassinating other people's characters unjustly just so people can pity them and see the other person as wicked. His goal was to make people hate and berate the poor girl unjustly and he succeeded spectacularly.

I could write an entire essay on this type of guy. Look closely and you'll find the girl suffered emotional abuse at his hands.

I think you are right