₦airaland Forum

almondjoy:
I do not deal with men without jobs! Never have and never will.

Here the man had a job before they got married, along the way something unplanned for happened

almondjoy:
The reason we are both in the medical field! Not some "businessman or businesswoman shit".

We can not all be doctors, engineers and the likes. The world, like marriage is built such that we can compliment each other. If the farmer does not produce food, you might not have the energy to practice your chosen marketable field. Zoologist and Botanist have their role in the development of Africa to that enviable height we aspire for

almondjoy:
Yes, no condition is permanent. But for you to plan, you must learn to make wise choices in life. I am so glad I do not have to be faced with such a problem.

What we can only control in life are the inputs, the outputs are a function of our inputs and some unknowns beyond our control. Some say GOD, others NATURE and some other factors which we could have controlled but did not envisage

almondjoy:
I have set my standards and I live by them. You set yours and live by them.

almondjoy:
Very true. That is why I can never be jobless--except for medical reasons. I will take up volunteer work just to keep busy till I find a job. The longest I have stayed without a job, and I mean 40 hours or more, has been 1 month since I landed my first job at 25.

The golden rule in life is to never say never. When, you say never the forces that will work to prove to you that you did not create yourself. In the lords prayer we say "thy will be done".

Volunteer work is working most often without pay. For a man in this situation, that does not advanced his cause

almondjoy:
Yes! I do practice what I preach. And if for any reason "he" thinks he has to leave due to my "joblessness", I will not fault him for I would do the same. No problem there.

Do not speak words that will stand in judgement against you

almondjoy:
There is nothing as unattractive as a man laying on the couch with some stupid looking erection but NO JOB!!!! I just can't handle that. Even if he is a millionaire, he has to get out of the house and volunteer his free time DOING SOMETHING. Go to the prisons and mentor juveniles--anything. Just get out of my sight for about 8-10 hours a day--like 5 days a week---- P-L-E-A-S-E!!!!

When you go to work and he is at home, he is out of your sight for 8-10 hours, so what is the problem

almondjoy:
After 6 months, he ceases to be cute. Na so so insult im go dey receive for my hand. Then by the time my family finishes with him, he would be in another continent far, far away. So if he does not want disgrace, he should just stay employed for I will be the first to report him for ruining my sex life. A jobless man, no matter how cute can never turn me on.

What your man needs is encouragement.
By the time you guys are married your family is no longer in the equation.
What about a man that does 3 jobs and barely has an hour for you and the kids

almondjoy:
Definitely not in my household! Am I jobless?



Any man that cannot stay employed will lose my respect in a split second! I really can hang for about 6 months. A man that stays at home except for medical reasons can never be useful to me. But of course, to each his own.


_{No be soap them dey take wash yansh? Unless na water una wan use----Then goodluck.}

No forget say anyone can lose his or her job, and then what
You probably might be of no use to him and,

ell77:
Is that an attempt to compare yourself to God? God created me, my husband did not!

You made that statement, not me.

A friend was complaining about being given too much work, i.e including other peoples jobs to do and he exclaimed
"One must not ride the fastest horse to death"
I dont think that makes him a horse or compares him to one

I actually do not support laziness in any form, but you see with looking for work here, if you send a 100 applications today and you are called for only 5 tests, out of which you attend only one interview. At the interview you interacted with the participants and think you were better than all others. Finally you were not called for the job. The person that was called has an uncle that knows somebody working there.

Tomorrow you send 150 applications and you were not even called at all for even a test talkless of interview. The day after that you send 200 and have5 first stage test to show for it with no interviews.

It gets to a point where the law of diminishing returns sets in, you begin to believe that you need connections which is not there. I would advise her to encourage her husband, and not struggle headship of the home. Sometimes a man does not go out not because he doesn't want to but because there is no money. If he has courage to go above his ego to ask money from the wife for transport and postage materials she begins to expect a miracle. With a result like the above it could really be frustraiting on every one.

ell77:
Is that an attempt to compare yourself to God? God created me, my husband did not!

Why should someone compair himself with GOD? GOD made you and made man the head of the woman under the marriage institution

ell77:
Please post things that make sense, this is actually a serious issue, many women suffer because of men like this. I am thankful the majority of Nigerian men I have met are not like this but I pray that these men will seek to do the right thing always. How will Nigeria progress if people subject themselves to such acts of laziness and cruelty?

Have u ever been in the situation where you look for a job?, especially in the Nigerian labour market which is proliferated? How come she did not see that he was a lazyman from the get go?

ell77:
Ok Obasanjo was the ruler of our country. If you were given the chance to remove him from power a year early would you not have done it? As far as I am concerned some titles mean different things when given to different men and it is up to the man to distinguish what they mean - the title can merely be a title and nothing more (a simple sign of pride and vanity-which i care nothing about) or it can be an indication of the role that person plays (rights and responsibilities alike-which i do care about). We have had many leaders, but no true leader. You can always be the head of the family, but not all men are the true heads of their family (or even know what it entails). Since OBJ was president people should agree with everything he did including stealing money, the same goes for our governors of state, why investigate them, leave them to do what they were doing after all, they are the heads and we must be submissive to them!

Some men have no intention of working and promise their wives heaven and earth, then they don't stick to them as soon as they marry, knowing the wife will not divorce because she does not believe in divorce and loves him. I have seen these things with my own eyes. Dalby, please don't treat your wife like that.

In the Nigerian polity, you will always have divergent views, and a leaders responsibility is to listen to all points raised and apply wisdom to say which direction the polity goes, and in this case the home. This is also applicable the world over. The interesting fact is that it is not all the decisions that the head or leader takes that might finally be right. Thus the mantle falls on him to accept responsibility even when things go wrong and it is seen that he has made the wrong choice.
He should learn from his mistakes and move on since no one including the woman is perfect

Also if I had the opportunity, I would have allowed OBJ complete his term.

Providing for the family is only one of the duties of the head of the family, so you should not on that ground alone decapitate him

ell77:
Maybe you need to marry such a man, so you will understand the significance of what you just said. No one is talking about disrespecting the man. But what does the bible say about laziness?

You guys will not fail to amuse me. How come it is now they saw the "spirit of laziness" in the man
When she was getting married to the guy, then he had a job and money was streaming in, there was no problem.
This might just be a period of transition for him, afterall the wife did not give him his first job

I pray to GOD to give me a car before the end of 2007, if that prayer is not answered at the end of the year, will GOD seize to be GOD

Is somebody saying that our fore fathers / Mothers are fornicators
That our fore fathers / Mothers will not go to heaven because they were not born again.
Lets stop deceiving ourselves

The winner of the West African Idols, from Bayelsa state.

joycexz:
please where did u get that info from? I hope it's not true. Its very sad that a city like Ph should be experiencing this problems. its really a shame.

Timi is ok and receiving treatment at the military base hospital.

kisss:
hey my dear there is no love without giving so my advice to you is for IS TO FORGET ABOUT THAT YOUR GUY because he is just out for fun.he is not rael

When it is loop sided in favour of the girl no problem

This one that has told you from the beginning, dont you think it is a heavenly sign

You can stay with her and work yourself to death, I see a definitive and greedy person. I haven't used this cystal ball a while, but I am sure it still works

dremoney:
While Money is completely necessary to polish love,it shuldnt b a condition to be in Love (no b by force nw,differ babes dey 4 differ class of guys, u go find your level).

A word is enough for the wise

Assured security
I will only leave my house at night when I am sure I will get back home in one piece.

A DJ who does not get carried away on the job doing his own thing, without feeling the pulse of the crowd

Ok prices on your liquor, If you have a small high-speed cafe, that would be a plus

D-reloaded:
What's the compromise in this situation?

Life is all about living and let live. We make compromises and expect the same from others to an extent.

Knowing that we all have our short falls (so says society) we are able to live with some of the excessess of our partners to the extent of the dictates of our society, culture and indeed our religious affiliations.

Like you rightly asked in this case if you cannot stand a ring in the tongue, then there is no compromise

Frankly, I will advice you leave her, there are other girls out there. You guys had your time together but could not make it work. Learn what you have from the relationship and leave it at that.

She convinced herself to leave the first time (I dont know for what reason, your fault or hers, lets leave it at that)
instead of staying to work things out, now seems you guys are on the path to a reunion. All she needs next time is a reason and once she convinces herself, she is out the door.

All this does not matter anyway because the heart has made a decision already on the matter. You will allign with those whose suggestions are parrallel to what your heart has decided, and conclude that those on the otherside do not understand. The heart is really funny Thats how the term love is blind came to be

almondjoy:
You do not have the right to know nothing if it does not have anything to do with your relationship.  You have a past and I have a past.  All na useless information. Can we please get on with the present and the future?  That concerns me most, not some games from some shitty past. Everyone should have the chance to "GROW UP"!  Hinging on the past is not one of the things I am interested in.  Unless you have a disease, are violent, a thief, kolomental or just a layabout.  As for how many partners you have slept with, I am not interested since the reason you are with me is that they all sucked! So let's move on!
For those who like to listen to gossips about their partners, all I can say is goodluck.  You must be very jobless or just plainly a rumour monger yourself.  If you paid more attention, you would have studied your partner to know what he or she does and not rely on "jobless outsiders" to tell you what you already should know. It just shows you are not very bright! Really, the joke is on you!!!!

Would you not also think that you could end up like them, cos the person you are with is still the the same, and the only variant is you

almondjoy:
Of all the things to worry about in the year of almost 2008, a tongue ring? Na wah for Nigerians oh! For your local information, women have rings on their clitoris and guy have rings on their balls. So?

Did you not see the tongue ring before you got involved with her? If you are not happy with it, please act like an adult and address your concerns with "your girlfriend" instead of gossiping and stewing about it. It shows you are very immature

To answer your question as a Nigerian woman too, I will definitely not remove it since I was not hypnotized when I put it there. I am happy with it and that should be sufficient enough a reason to leave it there. I can never displease myself to please any guy no matter how in love. It is always a good thing for people to like you for whom you are and not go about trying to change you. I do not cater to such nonsense. You can end the relationship if it pleases you!


Bottom line-----------------------------THE ANSWER IS NO! I WILL NOT REMOVE IT, because it is none of your business! You are only a boyfriend, not a husband. Even if you were my husband, I will still not remove it. You need to learn to respect people's individual's wishes for you do not own them.


Thank you!

Your thoughts and views are rather extremist don't you think

A mid path in life always gets you home safe and sound

If somebody is a robber and wishes to continue because he is lazy but has a gun should I respect that

Life is all about living and let live. We make compromises and expect the same from others to an extent.

ralph_d001:
I think u hardly see a girl that isnt fixed up with someone,(not talking about married folks) that doesnt mean you should not ask her out.
If you do like her, go for it, and if you do love her, pray that the bendable relationship should finally break up.

You are asking somebody to pray for another persons relationship to pack up . I am really lost here

sheisnice:
I was in a cherished relatnshp until sm1 stronger than i am bend and forcefully took him away, i nearly died but came out stronger knowing that we're in a world of survival of the fittest.

I really do not think so, if not we would all have been subjects / slaves to the Goliaths. It might take you a while to understand, but all good and so called bad things happen for a reason

kembaby:
@poster: u said she is not happy in her present relationship, have u taken out time to find out why she is not, from what u av said , as a woman i can give u 3 good reasons to keep your feelings from known to her.

1, a sensible unmarried woman who is broken hearted will never look for another relationship when one is not working, rather she will ask and work on why the present one is not if she is really in love wit the guy.

2, a sensible unmarried woman would ask herself why the families of her boyfriend in her present relationship does not want her and will work on it. a whole family can't be wrong about one person.

3, a sensible unmarried woman who is no more interested in a relationship would end the relationship and stand her grounds and not looking for an escape route. the fact that she does not know how to go about ending the relationship means there is more to the relationship than u were told

u need to find out the facts about this babe, if her present relationship is not working what exactly is the root cause, it takes two to tangle , if she claims to be in a relationship and she is not happy why is she still in it. dnt be a FATHER THERESSA, who is trying to give a shoulder to someone. if u do u will only be giving love and not receiving, allow her to solve her issues wit her boyfriend and give her time to heal her wounds by herself, dnt help her heal it because u will end up falling in love out of pity.

if you're positive what u feel for her is LOVE and its strong i will adjure u to pray about it, tell God what u want, he is God and he understands us even when we communicate wit him in our own language. am sure he will direct u and order your steps. also pray for THE GIRL and her happiness, by praying for others, u av your own case settled.

always talk to God about everything in your life and u will be amazed ao he will show u things u dint expect.

i av been in your position before and what i did was just to pray about it, though i was deeeply hurting i had to let go of the guy and after about 6 months he came back to me free and available and the relationship is growing stronger.

send me an email if there is snything else i can do kemiadekore@yahoo.co.uk

I think he should ask for GODs will for his life to be done reguarless of which direction the lady in question goes

@poster

Please leave the girl alone and find your own. When she entered her present relationship, nothing could have been better but now u claim she is not happy.

Pepeye:
Take a chance and speak your mind to her as a man and see how she feels. She might be miserable in that relationship and wants out

The mouth when she take say yes for the relationship na that mouth she go take end am

uchetobi:
who cares about marrying up or down, money is not a criteria for me to date a guy or marry him because i have mine, as long as he has no complex about it we'l prolly get along

99 out off a hundred, it never works out. It probably is not intentional on either parties. Have u tried to imagine how the physically challenged feel amidst the smiles, sometimes it gets that bad for this kind of man

How una dey, just came in to see that we are still on

How una dey prepare for the Xmas now, hope enough chop! chop!!

If we keep it up, we can make the next page

nwando:
If you're a Christian lay hands daily on your boys right from the womb and declare holy things on them.
That is a start

What if you are not A lot of people talk the talk, but dot walk the walk

rowlandwhy:
Na wa,
I have just gone through this some points are seemed to be true while i disagree with some.
Can someone second these claims above?

Is there anything like genetic something in this case??

I think so, they cannot help who they are

U coulld be gay and be in self denial until something triggers it off

Tampico:
@Dalby
I didn't really understand ure post. You must be a very dry person, if u can't tell the difference bw a playful joke and a serious one. My guys are always on my mind

Sorry, I was really and totally joking, from the bottom of my heart. When I was posting, I was actually laughing

larrybabe:
This is now confirmed that Dalby/Debbie is a playerhater.

You did not attend the reunion, which one be your own there or was Tampico referring to u? You dey poke your nose for wetin no concern you. You really wished there were dissappointments no be so?? SADIST.

You again

I actually have nothing to gain or loose from the outcome of the reunion.

You were just waiting "e get as e dey do u"

I understand sha

was just joking o, before I get shot
I seem to have a way of bringing you out from silence.
Just keeping the thread alive

bolee:
Cant you self-service?

Dream of that figure 8 and jerk off!

that should last you another 5 months, by then she will be back in shape!

U are really mean o, advise am well now

Tampico:
@Hi y'all
Missing all y'all. I wish i had copied the link, but Ofu's sister doesn't want to let the issue pass like that. She is suing Mnet for One million USD. As soon as i get the link i'll post it. So that's what i'm talking about

@Spicegirl
What's up girl, long time no hear?

@Those that came to the reunion
Wetin come happen. No call, no holler. After all the love , n exchange of numbers, nothing come happen. Nawa ooooo!

I gess the thread has truly come to an end, it was good while it lasted. Till when we meet again, take care!

Tforever

Dalby :
Hope u guys have a good time

Lots of appointments and disappointments

bla bla bla

Hope I wasn't right

3d_hunter:
^{slams the door shut}
Thread closed

But u will keep coming, u'll see

Ndi:
ehennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Dalby, Dalby!
"Just thinking aloud, does the absence of a fight in a relationship show that there is Love?"

I am sure you remember this line, or maybe go back to Page 58 to see your responses and that of others when i brought up the Richiana relationship.

What more do people expect from a pair that could not tolerate each other.
- Richard is younger than Tatiana and very immature in nature. _{(i have seen very matured 20yr old)}
- No respect for womanhood and very vulgar.etc

"Every fight that you overcome in a relationship makes the relationship stronger & creates room for better understanding."

I hope you also remember this line, maybe in future you do not assess a relationship with the other, especially an abnormal one like Richiana's. Isolation can make us do a lot of crazy things. True Love was what Richiana never had. It was very obvious, even if they manage to come together as their companions have abandoned them, the relationship would never work. I am not an analyst but the signs are there.

I had wanted this thread to die as we had addressed every issue & closed it up with a REUNION but i could not help but notice your latest post.

You no dey forget something O

But you left this one out. I also said

Correct me if I am wrong actually all relationships start out as lust, and if it ever does, graduates to love over time. Tolerance in love comes with time

and this

I think also that what they have now is lust, which if nurtured can blossom to love, like every other relationship

Quote
Love conquers all
Ultimately

all of this was said on: November 05, 2007, 09:18 PM

If we pick out some lines and leave the rest, it could alter what was said and give a misleading picture

On the lighter note, I also said sometime that if there is anything I have learnt in life is that there are no absolutes

Pretty-Gal:
None of the ladies did Africa proud. If we had to choose real people in that house, I think Richard & Meryl deserved to win the prize. It is a pity Meryl was evicted bcs of hypocrisy in Africa, otherwise she was the best housemate with real. Justice, was also real, but boring. Offunneka pretended for 98 days, she knew what Africa wants. Everybody was against Meryl, but she stood her ground and lived her life, just like Richard.

There are actually very few people on this planet that will agree with you, see the BBA 2 thread

Modups!:
all of a sudden we r all tongue tied?

This is no news now, Richard and Tatiana were fighting on a daily basis even in the house
The relationship was 50 - 50 all along

My job is OK, I am not too crazy about it. Just ok with the pay
But the pay is good, somewhere under 400/month in an international organization
The job is logistics, so its way off mechanical engineering
I have worked in 2 Oil firms before this job, this job actually takes all my time compaired to my previous jobs
There is still room for improvement. Na money I dey find now no be work
Don't get me wrong, I thank GOD every day for this job, but the only thing constant in life is change. So I often thank him for the next good job coming my way.

Why not BBA housemate, instead of lady

I think justice was the man

For the most entertaining, you cant help to give it to Richard

For the ladies, Meryl was the most real lady in the house