₦airaland Forum

Ewuro4:
I'll be deceiving readers if I wrote that, so none taken.

A loving or may I call it 'Fair' marriage requires many many Mandatory tasks and roles that comes with accountability. unconditional love will forfeit these roles/tasks.

Even oga at the Top dittoed my sentiments.

Well said

How are you and family sis .

Happy birthday Tearoses

Gods blessings now and always. May The Lord grant you more peace, love and joy.

This one that we cant have another party till 2020 where the party at??

Savoy, Claridges, we are ready.

Congrats Cococandy God bless and keep her for you and hubby, may she be a blessing to her generation by His Grace.

Well done its not easy.

Get loads of rest dear.

That's great bellong hopefully more awareness means more funds..

Creamish:
Still... I dint read where he insulted anyone. He gave his opinion.. it's what works for him. That's the way he deals with his own ish. I dont see IK running anyone else's marriage here. Either u agree with him and run urs like that ooooorrrrrrrr U run urs the way U and ur iyawo deem fit.

Yeah I personally agree with people running their homes how they see fit. But I am sure he too knew when he said ' I know readers will be offended' .

I agree with you about people doing what works for them and their family at any point in time. However he gaffed by insinuating that couples who cant afford for the wife to quit work are living above their means.

Does he even realise that for some people , the wife working is not even about the money? I know a couple where the husband is the one even buying the travel card for the wife to go to work as she is volunteering for free to get the much needed experience for her to get into her chosen profession.

Its all good that he can afford to pay all the bills and I am sure that for most families or people we wish our jobs could pay ALL our bills(including plenty luxuries sef) but the reality is sometimes even the best efforts of TWO people cant cover it all.

I am not trying to castigate him or anything( I actually know his wife) but he should have just stopped at what works for him without subtly judging other people's choices.

Creamish:
I wonder y ppl are throwing insults here & there... If you dont agree with IK's view, fine.. That's his marriage formula. Go get ur own.. haba!

I know men who find it hard to let their wives pay bills... I know others who luv when their wives pay bills. To each his own. No woman is deluded or should be rubbished if her man has decided to foot the bills and no woman is silly if she decides to meet her man half-way. It all depends on what works with the couple.

Abeg rest the matter..

I think IK should have said that is how HIS own home/marriage is run rather than insinuate that ALL people who cant survive on one Wage are living above their means.


He asked for the opinions( and the insults sef) when he tried to advocate his way as the best way.

shaniqueK1:
THOSE SHOES ARE £45 ON ASOS.....

my ribs

He is even more annoying

mshewwwww raised to the power of 100

Glad to see the thread is gaining momentum..

Onegai fast thinking on the dollar bit.

Tough question..

and to be honest, I don't even think I have ever given it much thought.

I would like to think I love my kids unconditionally but how do I even know what 'conditions' might change that if I have never been in the situation to 'test' that love.

I don't get why people seem to think 'their way' is the only way. Don't have anything against families where the woman chooses to be homemaker and the man the breadwinner but to insinuate that people are living above their means if the wife contributes 50% or if she is unable to quit her job Like really?

Oga IK I like you but generalising a bit don't you think?

Not all fingers are equal and for some families husband and wife contributing 100% is not even covering the basics not to talk of luxuries. And he is talking about louboutins like they are stuff every woman can afford?

I don't get why people cant just realise that its different strokes for different folks.

Happy birthday Cococandy Gods blessings now and always. Hope you have a great day

Naija people are harsh ooo

See people already insinuating stuff about daughter/father relationship.

Na wa o.

yommys01:
Thanks. She now feels okay and is sleeping.

Thanks all.

She will be fine.

Congrats in advance and I pray for a safe delivery and Good health for her and the baby.

bellong:
@Damiso, find the link below. Thanks

https://www.gofundme.com/hg8naubw

Thank you bellong. Will do my bit and also share on FB.

I pray for Gods healing upon her.

yommys01:
I made my siblings stay, my friends who were staying with me before and are looking for their own place are stil here too.

She just asked me "why am I even crying sef" I told her what others said that I should take her home. She said she can't stay as her house is virtually empty now. The sisters are in school, the brother will soon live and the aunty just finished their own house and moved.

I think it is the pregnancy and the fear of unknown.

7-9 weeks more.

See you sef know what the issue is. Just be patient with her she will be fine.

Being a mum for the first time is such a daunting prospect. I don't think i had ever carried a new born baby less than a week old before I had mine and even carrying the baby was a terrifying prospect. My mum could not even come to help as we had just lost my dad and I remember how much I used to cry thinking 'how will I, me, me deal with a new born' Hubby's mum is late and comes from all these proper 'DIY' families.

What helped was my hubby re assuring me that we would be fine and loads of orphans had actually had children you know And we were fine. He took some time off work and that time was such a great bonding time for us as we navigated the unknown waters of being a first time parent together. He even got the courage to bath the baby before me sef as I kept thinking I would drop her


You guys will be ok don't worry. Just keep reassuring her and all will be well.

I can really feel your wife as I also came from a home that was always bustling with people to just being me and my husband alone( mine was even worse as was miles and miles away from home) I cried sege on my wedding day ehn( wept sef) cos i was very close to my parents.

Pregnancy hormones could also be contributing to her being emotional but she will settle down eventually don't worry. Na me sef dey run from some family gatherings these days as I cant deal with the drama

Besides Saturday was just like 4 days ago na bros?

I would be worried if she was still crying a couple of weeks down the line but i am so sure she wont especially by the time you both settle into into normal day to day routine.

bellong:
@Damiso,

There's also a Gofundme too.

Funjosh and Olu4life have volunteered to carry out the verification..

Funjosh and Olu4life, please note that her dialysis today has been rescheduled till tomorrow by the hospital. She will be at home today. If you can make it today, it will be nice. Thanks.

God bless you all.

Oh that's great. Can you please also put the link here please( that is if you have it)?

Might be an easier way to give for those not in Nigeria.

tearoses:
thanks dear

onegai
damiso
tayour
pickabeau
naijadeyhia
Ewuro4
Jaybee3

Hope you dont mind my tagging you

Idowuogbo oooooooo Please come back Please please please

I don't mind at all.

Will be following. As its bellong, I am not even too fussed about verification.

I pray for Gods healing touch on her. Childbirth really is not childs play sometimes we tend to forget.

Is there an account/ payment portal etc we can give through?

Bellong have you/family friends also thought about setting up a Go Fund me page as well?

** seen the account details**

Chai every thread about 'abroad' one way or the other degenerates to 'us vs them' NL I hail you and I don miss you small

Its dicey relocating anywhere and I still told someone this morning who has a relatively good job in Nigeria but wants to relocate to Canada to think about it very well and not just up and leave a career he has been building for 15 plus years ( 2 masters and professional certifications after) for the unknown. He says things are really hard at the moment and did I know that the dollar was almost N400. I still think that's besides the point though. Things can get hard anywhere and I personally feel especially when children are involved, due diligence has to be done to research the move.

Visit and not visit like a tourist but visit and have a feel for how things really work. There is a program called 'Wanted Down Under' where brits who want to relocate to Australia visit and have a feel of Oz for a couple before making the final decision.

I also like the idea which some people have already mentioned of not totally closing the chapter of where you are coming from and leaving some lines of retreat open. Things like selling off ALL your property( I have never understood people selling property in Nigeria to relocate abroad if the property was in Syria or sudan but Nigeria ) should be done when you have fully found yourself in your new abode.

Good luck OP.

Woged2005:
- Ok No wahala. Understood! Though my instances were to buttress the fact that human actions can be influenced.

I don't necessarily think that people who do rituals are very principled in the first place. Most principled people have strong sometime stubborn personality. with the instances I gave in this thread in Nigerian context, such men will beat the crap of any woman who insults them.....LoLoLoLoL! women don't even dare insult such people in the first place... you get idea what I am driving at?

I kinda get what you mean. I just used the adjective principled as that was the only thing I could think of at the time but I was trying to portray a person with some sort of integrity.

People should learn to be responsible for their actions ( and even if influenced by certain factors like you are alluding too) need to accept that in hindsight maybe factors should not have influenced their decisions. We all make errors in jusdgement from time to time but common scraping off someone tongue, sleeping with a mad woman ( like nollywood tells us just cos your wife insulted you for not buying her loubotin common na

As an aside I have wondered asked how money rituals work? Where does the money come from? is it from central bank or is there one bank in the spirit realm that supplies the money ? I don't get how the tongue of another person= money

Note I am not saying it does not exist just pondering on the fact that its some sick ish man . Same way I ponder on the psyche of serial killers. At least with serial killers though we know they are psychos who kill for fun and wont go blaming a jimmy choo wanting gal friend or wife

let me answer the question..

Nobody can force any principled person into money making rituals.

As for your other comparisons OP women wanting to get married, praying at a pastor, buying a red shoe and bag the main and significant difference is those things don't hurt anyone. Money rituals tend to hurt other people, innocent people at that.

let me answer the question..

Nobody can force any principled person into money making rituals.

As for your other comparisons OP, women wanting to get married, praying at a pastor, buying a red shoe and bag the main and significant difference is those things don't hurt anyone. Money rituals tend to hurt other people, innocent people at that.

Chillisauce:
Roast it jare. It taste like over ripe fried plantain
My dear, these days I just eat anything. The palm oil here I don't know if they mix it with 80% water. E no dey red at all. February is here. Time for strict regime again .

Ok will try it not seen apricots for a while though seems they are not in season.

Yes o , February + Strict regime =-summer body loading

Chillisauce:
How many of us can't do away with fried plantain. I got an alternative .

Buy abricot(I guess it's apricot) already conserved in a box. Put it in the oven and roast until brown. Eat with rice or what ever you eat with your Fried plantain.

Don't try drinking with pap. My hand no dey o. I'm just here to give us less calories while still enjoying the benefits
Taste really like those very over rip plantain .
Choi choi

Nice tip..I am not really a fan of apricots though. its not one of my favourite fruits .. the squishy consistency ( like mango) eww

Me I still eat plantain mostly grilled sha but slice it like fried plantain put oil spray. And some days I eat a few from my kids own

Happy new month everyone.

Well done everyone .. I also weighed myself this Monday and I have not added or lost any weight.

My waist is 1 inch smaller though.


Just keep trudging on. The best approach is to view as a lifestyle change and not to give up even when the scale does not move on some weeks.

bebe2:
It's lovely to know that u can think of ur dad and laugh about stuff he used do.

My brother and I are the same way, my brother remembers alot of my dad but I don't.

He said my dad will go and collect rent from tenants
and start counting the money on the dinning room table, then my step mum will come into the dinning room without knocking, my dad will jump off his chair shouting, why can't u knock before entering? By now he has quickly covered all the money with his agbada
my step mum will just look at him and quietly walk away, give her a few minutes and she will come back to say there is no food in the house oo, I need money. And my dad will start abother round of shouting but my step mum is always very calm but she gets wat she wants from him.

sharp man

Yeah it's so lovely to have those memories .. We miss Him a lot but that's life

Thanks for sharing bebe 2..

Very poignant as it made me remember my dads passing.

I believe my dad was one of those people who had made peace with the fact that he would die. I was mad at him for a while because I felt he did not fight his illness or kind of just gave up on life I am wiser now though to see that he could not stand the thought of being a burden and had made peace with the fact that death is part of life. He had always said that he would rather go than wither away and be a burden on those he loved and I remember how strong and vehement my mums Oloun Maje( God Forbid) used to be. I am sure he probably wished he could live to see his grandchildren but was practical enough to accept that he might not.

After the intial naija gra gra of crying the easiest way for us ( mum and siblings) to get over it was laughing at all the memories we had of him his antics and UNPC ( un politically correct ) way of seeing life. that my father was a character I remember when people told my mum she could not travel abroad for at least a year after his death, we all joked that even daddy in his Grave would say 'its not me you are mourning by sitting at home cos I don't see how your sitting at home will bring me back to life'

Even yesterday me and my sister still laughed over what he would have said at a recent family scenario.

Memories are so essential meen. So essential. Create them with your loved ones cos sad as it is mostly they will remember eventually when we are gone.

This is so depressing

In 2016 very depressing I cant believe that people can be so hard hearted. I am not a pet person but I cant even watch a puppy crying for help without looking for a way to help.

Chillis:
Trust me. You won't use that treadmills. It will only oçupy space. Continue with your out door running . Fresh air too. That's just one the benefit running outside. Clears the mind too.

Here is a pic of patato puree. Someone doesn't like eating vegetables. So I blended little mushroom with cauliflower to the milk used for the puree. The smell was horrible because of the cauliflower but who cares. Dem chop am like that.

Yeah it certainly does clear the mind. I just love that feeling of being alone because I know I will still keep hearing 'mummy' when I am on the threadmill.


I used to hate cauliflower but now I kinda actually like it. Very great idea.

Very nicely worded.. Nice one OP.

tearoses:
Thats the one I buy, but it doesn't draw as well

Oh ok.. I guess you have to make do without the 'drawing'

Well done on your weight loss and well done to everyone