₦airaland Forum

Mindfulness:
Do you know why? Because the New Year is just an excuse to put something off that we feel will require some effort.



I wouldn't say strive because to strive means to try hard and this is demotivating in the medium and long run and results in frustration sooner or later. We are the best we can be when we enjoy ourselves. Then we do not need to set up future dates to do something that we want to do because we enjoy the process with immediate effect and joy leads to success in every sphere of life.

Happy and joyful New Year to you and your family.

I kind of agree to an extent about enjoying the process but I also believe that achieving certain goals require some sort of sacrifice that might not be enjoyable in the short term but would be prove enjoyable in the long term.eg I really love/enjoy watching TV/movies( my husband calls me madam TV) but in the last year I have had to really reduce the time I spend doing it so I can dedicate that time to other interests.

Happy and joyful new year to you and yours too

Mindfulness:
I don't need a new year to change anything. I change whatever needs to be changed as I go. For now everything is perfect.

I agree with the not needing a new year to change /make plans/goals. There is always this mass euphoria as a new year draws close to change /make goals and by February half are out the window.

Every single day one should strive to be the best they can be..

Tearoses all this space that we are sharing abi is it reserving


Anyways nice concept and will try to pop in when I can .

I have gotten to my target weight and try to weigh in/measure my waist once a month. That weekly weigh in used to depress the heck out of me when I just started.

My goal in the new year is more toning of certain body parts. I want six pack

I want to also reduce my body fat ratio and gain more muscle so will be doing more strength training as opposed to mostly cardio.

tearoses:
You get 2 sef
Me I get one pack
Hence this thread
https://www.nairaland.com/2831446/2016-weight-loss-healthy-living

abeg come and join us and lets encourage each other

Ok will check out the thread

salsera:
@damiso
Chai I don find sister oh.

I select souvenirs at parties oh. If you give me I collect if you no give all is well. At the end of the day its the souvenirs I find useful that I take home.

My fav souvenirs are food items. They never clutter.

My mums souvenirs, I swear I'm gonna wrap them in wrapping paper and give her to take to weddings as gifts.
Or I'll wait till she travels then clear out the house of clutter and travel myself, put off the my phone for one month.[color=][/color]

Me too, all the sugar, spahghetti etc are the best jare.

I have done that i.e clear out the house.My mum was soooo mad at me. She got over it sha and 20 more parties later we were back at square one. Its no longer my house sha so that's her problem

nasha1:
hello house,compliments of the season.
edwife thank God for you,welcome back. ewuro,kimoni,damiso and everyone happy new year.
Despite people crying there is no money come and see women in the shop,today seems less busy .Hair and make up don suffer i am not complaining making my money.Women eh

Wish you all the best in the new year too

edwife:


Surprisingly,I have kept all my packs,i am eating anyhow for two weeks but still keeping my tummy flat.

Holla @ me to show you . Don't worry we have plenty time before summer,i don't even care for now....

Abeg show me o

If its causing a strain( and even in the west where they are cheaper some still struggle with the cost) one can mix and match. Cotton nappies while at home and disposable diapers while out and about.

Cotton Nappies just need a lot more time and effort for it to be used hygienically but people still use them. A lot of environmentally conscious people do and for them its not even about the cost but more about the amount of waste they generate.

I like convenience a lot but in retrospect I think I could have actually been able to survive using cotton nappies . If at the time the cost of the disposables was a strain on our finances i would have adjusted and used them. As my babies got older sef I switched to cheaper brands. I must say though I might not be saying this if there was no washing machine.

OP I don't think its a versus thing. Its what works best at the time for the parents at the time.

edwife:
Thank you dear and Amen to your prayers.How have you been?

Yes yummy me had a yummy christmas and still having a blast! I am on break and still busy.... but enjoying it.

Now where is Kimoni?

Yummy mummy. glad you had great break.

How many packs do you have now? My 2 pack wan disappear with all the meat pie and puff puff at Christmas o but I am ready for it. Me too I must rock bikini in summer

byvan03:
OK, it's easy to ignore this woman nah,you hardly meet her. Enjoy what you have now till the meeting time comes, it's too early to worry ones head over one woman jare.

Chikena OP.

As long you will not live in the same house, just chill.

By the time life, work, kids etc come in the interactions will be minimal. With people like that a polite distance is the best strategy and sometimes it wont even be deliberate just no time.

babythug:
Funny enough the highlight of my attending any event is when souvenirs are being shared My eyes literally light up.

and yep my store has a special carton for storing them!!!!!

I keep saying when i move to a bigger place i'd be able to use them all

My mothers child from another mother.

Jimdonnet:
look you are a baby.so because you are rita Dominic they should not correct.keep doing like mumu.shay you get friends sef.because you day do like 16 year old way lost virginity.ase girl mumu

I try not to quote people but that was harsh and unnecessary.

salsera:
Shocked . My mum is just the same oh.
So I'm not alone and I thought my home was strange.

All those things she said she was keeping for us. We don't need or want them.

I sooooo hate clutter.
Living with my mum has made me a minimalist.
Thinking of all her stuff .grrr
And she keeps souvenirs too! Plastic c buckets reach 20 yet she's used the same buckets for decades. The day she fought with mr at a party because I dropped a bucket I got as a souvenir back at another table...hian.

So dem plenty No be only my mama She too is a souvenir master but from early fights she knew abi is it knows not to force me to take all those rubbish souvenirs. Till today I laugh when people are trying to avoid giving me souvenirs at parties little do you know that I don't even want sef. I have not finished with all various 'super mum', 'worlds best mum' 'I love my mummy' mugs I seem to keep getting on mothers day and you want to shakara me with poundland mug .gerra ourra here meen

Yeah living or growing up with someone like that makes you swing to either of the extremes. I am glad mine is the opposite.

tunapa2009:
Compliments of the season to all family members... Special shout out to: bellong, tearoses(alias ccccc), Moca (mocapawpaw), Royalroy(a royal with class but no NAFDAC NUMBER), idowuogbo(badoo ibadan), damiso, edwife etc. I was on sabbatical from nairaland. Though joined the readers club.......




It's good to be back home. So many things on my mind to share or pour out.

Same to you bro.. Welcome back .

I don't get why people feel shouting at subordinates is acceptable. You can point out mistakes, be firm and assertive without shouting

OP you have gotten some great tips and like has been said by some others , you need to constantly reaffirm positivity to yourself, never allow anyone make you feel like a lesser human. Being wrong/making mistakes is part of learning and part of the learning process is being to accept constructive criticism.

I noted you said you forget things a lot. Maybe you need to get a daily planner and write things that you need to do down. Sometimes having things written down right in front of you makes it easier to remember when/if you need to need get stuff done. I never ever run out of post it notes and have loads of task reminders/appointments as soon as log into Outlook so I don't forget tasks and when they are due. Wjen you are juggling lot like , there tends to be the possibility that you could forget or omit some stuff so you need to take practical steps to guard against it.


You are not an incomplete person just because you make mistakes and forget stuff. (hugs)

babythug:
Truly the whole concept can only be fully clarified when the couple actually get married!

See the kitchen items purchasing fiancee probably imagined it was a done deal, hence she stocked the gentleman's kitchen like she had moved in. she probably also felt i'm always here anyway so lemme make us comfortable or something of the sort.

The non purchasing kitchen items fiancee probably feels when we marry i will buy the required items etc etc.

Either way it's a dilemma LOL

Abi o dilemma.

But like thorpido said I will tend to tilt to the doing less while still not married and living in the same house side.

Except for some selfish and 'the man must do everything' types most women will buy or try to get stuff that will make their life easier in a home that she also lives in.

Ewuro4:
Miss you too sis Hope you had a wonderful Christmas celebration and How are my cuties? Lol @iyawo nylon bag, but honestly why buy another set when those ones you have rarely get used?
******

Honestly I can't do it, stay home all holiday season without going crazy. chat with a friend yesterday who asked how holiday went, told her it's starting to feel like an addiction I must work sha ni.... @crap eating is the opposite for me, my workplaces are packed with junks and food, somebody brought beef/turkey jerky (like kilishi) to work, been snaking on that stuff since Boxing Day, even packed dry cereal & nido to soak knack am sef. The thing sweet die.

Tearoses where have I been?, kotangora ni Compliments of the season sis Dec 've always been crazy busy month for me, everyone wants a time off and I'm stuck with this weird looking schedule I've to figure out how to fill up. Olorun lo ni emi mi.

@babythug.. I'd leave all that crap for him jare, if in her shoes. Sad but fact is we have to cut our loses whenever a relationship fails.

Hehe when Dad was even watching every move like a hawk sef. You must be on the next cab to IB as soon as you drop the pen. Na to pack & carry your luggage go exam hall that last day ni oh.

Ewuro the workaholic .. I feel you jare sometimes work is a bit more laid back than having to answer 100 questions every minute

I have just been chilling and browsing NL and done a few things as most of the people/companies I need to do my work are closed for the year. Will soon leave sef. We just need cover in case of incasity I will do the other way round by Gods Grace next year as in take the days after Christmas cos I was off last week.

thorpido:
Getting an apartment and furnishing together is alright as long as they both decide to do it.

I think this guy in question thinks the kitchen department should be taken care of by his fiancee and suitability for marriage depends on how well she does it.

Oh well I guess different strokes. But he could have as well told her na?

See now the 'wifely' lady that bought kitchen stuff was not married and now wants her stuff back

That's why I think the 'Is he/she wife/husband material '? question can never be fully exhausted.

thorpido:
I think it was his house though I don't think it was stated.He expected her to 'set' the house while planning for marriage.

He should be the one embarrassed that he only had stainless steel plates.

I don't even think 'setting the house' is a bad thing per se as many engaged couples actually get/and furnish an apartment together.

But to be reconsidering her marriage suitability based on the fact that she served him/friend or relatives with the plates available at the time in his house I don't get.

babythug:
]

Lol@ your comments... you sef change the wine glasses na

I also am not sure where the said food was served oh!!!

Don't worry I bought some new ones How many times or people are we hosting sef? No be only me and am dey use wine glass?

I hate clutter so taken the old ones to the charity shop. I chuck out anything that I have not used in 2/3 years and when I buy stuff I tend to give away or throw away the old ones. My mother is horrified


My biggest fear is my house turning to my mothers My mother has enough plates, cups, coolers etc to cater to a 500 guest party. Expensive ones o . But when we have a big party we get caterers who end up providing the table placement which includes plates,cutlery and serving stuff ie chafing dishes . I don't get it Her former argument was 'I am buying for you people you will people will thank me when you marry ' People being me and my sister but now me and my sister don't even want them

I asked cos if it was in his house I don't get how the girl should be the embarrassed one?

tearoses:
Personaly I dont see why a batchelor has to live like a tramp simply becasue they are not married yet
What was the man in question doing with stainless steel plates in the first instance?
Did he steal it from a buka

Seriously many mothers are just getting it so wrong
They put so much emphasis on training their daughters to be house proud and leaving their sons to rot away to become alapa ike

Why wont a man who lives on his own have his own decent cutlery and plates?
I remember when my brother got married, he and his wife went to the market and sold most of their household utensil wedding presents cos he already had most of them and no space to be piling things up.
Some people make batchelorhood look like a disorder.

Half of all the pots we use today are hubbys pots from before we got married.

I was a typical iyawo nylon bag ( ok not nylon more like LV+ Luggage ) cos most of the kitchen stuff ( utensils/crockery/pots) that we used in our first few years of marriage were stuff from hubbys bachelor days. Maybe cos I relocated sha but my husband had always been self sufficient . I cant shakara him with taking care of the house/cooking/kids( make I no lie sha It can be annoying sometimes). He even jokingly says 'iyawo don't you think we ought to have changed this wine glasses after all this years' I can be so carefree on some things that are considered 'wifely'.. As long as the wine glasses are not broken why are we buying new sets naa?

I only just started buying 'wifely' materials say in the last 2- 3 years. when we moved house. That's why I think a couple should understand each other. By certain standards on certain things 'I am not 'wifely' at all and my my mother tried o its just that my fathers genes are too strong.

Babythug I wandered past that thread, was the serving in his house or her house?

Funny and kinda true illustrations

jammyunn:
my dear, they mustn't do all at the stated ages. Mums can decide suitability or their preferences. This just gives us ideas.

I agree with you..

Some of the chores are spot on and age appropriate but some are not.

I think it also depends on the child as well.

Me I cant allow that my over sabi and shaky shaky 6 year old peel potato or carrot oh except I want a visit to A&E. She however helps in the kitchen with mixing batter, washing rice, rinsing vegetables fruits etc. while I handle the stuff that entails sharp knives.

Beautiful family. God continue to bless and keep your home.

I guess he actually meant vasectomy. Castration harsh naa

Its actually a safe birth control method but like Tubal Ligation i.e. tying of tubes or female surgical sterilization its not very popular among black people. Even if a person has 6 children there is that belief that something can still happen and you might need one more

I remember my mum almost having a fit when I mentioned that I was actually considering it( tying my tubes)

Its a decision that needs to be taken with a clear head though so maybe you both need a little more time to think it through.

Compliments of the season everyone ...Hope we all had a nice Christmas celebration.

Back at work I was so envious this morning when I left home and hubby and the kids were happily snoring away. Oh well the good part of it is I can get back to my routine and eat less. Chai the crap I have eaten this period I SMH for myself.

Ewuro4 how are you and family sis Missed you

I have never understood this buying car= no suitors How is car or no car a marriage criteria? Na wa o . Make I no talk

OP buy the car if you think YOU need it joor

Interesting topic ..

I however don't with the premise that white women are treated better because they 'contribute' more especially in the area of finance.

Being a stay at home mum is much more common with white women.And by stay at home mum I mean the mans income being the only family income. All or most Nigerianwomen I know who are not 'working' ie outside the home have one thing or the other bringing some sort of income no matter how small be it making beads, selling,cooking, under the table childminding etc .Being solely dependent on a mans income is not that common with Nigerian women living in diaspora and those that do it often do it for a while and mostly because of childcare costs.

In Nigerian gatherings people raise eyebrows when a woman says she is a stay at home mum and she gets a myriad of questions thrown at her ( I have lived it so I know ) while it's just seen as a personal choice among white women/people.

EfemenaXY:
Lol! You are right. In and out, but I will try very hard this coming new year to curb the habit. I think I'm nearly there anyway. I just need to put pen to paper all my outlays (sigh).

Oh, I'm starting out something new - you might do this for your kids when they're older....I've told my teenage sons I'll pay them £20 per "A" grade and for my oldest, £40 per "A" grade for his A-level subjects.

But then decided to up the stakes - £100 per "A" grade for the A-level subjects, and £50 per "A" grade for the others. No reward for B's and less. Those who get A's will get their money this Christmas. A trip to the £1 shop / pound savers for those who didn't hit the mark.

I'm planning to make this a frequent occurrence per grade card results received. What d'you think?

Sounds great .. These teenagers today love their money . It's the carrot method and is a good motivation will def try when my kids are older

U

EfemenaXY:
Lol @ trying with the breakfast! I've moved on from the plain porridge thingy as I feel it's way too heavy for me. I now try to detox every morning with the lime and lemon thingy. Only problem is, after drinking so much water, I end up urinating like a tap every 30 mins for the next 2 hours. It's terrible when the trains are delayed but I guess (according to my friend), I nor dey hear word. So the next time you see a lady flying the barrier at London Bridge station trying to get to the loo, you'll know it'll probably be Efe...lol!

Greek yoghurt - isn't that very fattening?

How do you manage to work out in the mornings? Sunrise doesn't happen until 8:00 am ish!

I have the 0% fat one cos it has less calories and a lot of protein. Those are days when I have done a very intense work out in the morning.

I wake up at 4.45( sounds sad I know ) so I can have about an hr to my self. I mostly do indoor work outs and do a variety of strength training, kickboxing,hiit,abs/core routines.try to mix it up .Still run and jog a bit on some days and thinking of buying a cross trainer/thread mill though I prefer outdoor runs.

Don't really want to lose weight anymore just to continue to be fit and tone up a bit .

EfemenaXY:
Haha! Yes na - I need to source some ideas from you.

I was thinking, I could put that £50 - £60 I save weekly on buying lunch, etc from work into a Cash ISA every week. That's been my honest intention but then I found myself shopping at Boots Which isn't such a bad thing oh! As they had this deal going on last week or so at the Canary Branch - Spend £50 or more and get £10 worth of Advantage points on your Boots Card. I managed to get up to £52 worth of points and guess what? I found that bike my daughter's been asking for since the beginning of this year. £35. Now that's come in quite handy for me. Don't ask me what I'll be getting the others - it's a completely different story!

Ha ha ha ha see you save one way another thing comes and takes it

Thank you for reminding me let me find out how much I have on all these my various loyalty cards ..my new love is Holland and Barrett(whole foods healthier options etc) and they sent me an email with some points so let me go check.I spend way too much time and money in there