₦airaland Forum

Coldie:
LoL... So Mr p is begging Davido to post his song on his page.

E don turn upcoming artist o! It is finished

Their eye don open. Unfortunately, its too late.

Mightyhaiz:
Look at that mai ruwa putting his gutter picked slippers into deji mouth. Who will endure dis humiliation without a brain jolt

Mai Ruwa . Why are u laidis na

sodiqapril:
There are movies that potray FBI, CIA as corrupted organisations , yet they weren't banned. Eminem released a four minute track dissing Donald Trump yet nothing was done to him... And all the above are more powerful than this useless EFCC..I'm tempted to place a curse on all those who support this useless administration but when I think of the likes of that bush rat griller and his likes on nairaland,I give it a second thought because don't want to add another curse to the ones going on in their lives..

Bush rat griller. Kuku kee me

AerialMapper:
Why didnt your kids just put them back in the tree?

Why didn't you encourage your kids to put them back on the tree?

Until one day when dinosaurs or King Kong or even Godzilla come back...

You will be going about your normal life, one KingKong will just see you and carry you back home, then it will log onto KingKong nairaland and be asking his mates "i caught this strange bushmeat, do you know what it is"?

KingKong's children will tie rope on your waist and be feeding you grass because they dont know what you usually eat... You will be wondering who you offended and why you were taken away from your normal existence

Let us learn to respect nature and all species

Ah swear, u are not well at all o

mezarddinny:
wetin dey sup for nairaland na? na everyday una dey see animal

As in eh. Oluwa wetin dey Animate for NL

Divay22:
Hahahahahahahahahahah You don eat am

and I was feeling fly and added some bottles of Goldberg

I'm just too weak to say anything right now. To think that I took two plates of cow leg pepper soup, two days ago and even praising the cook for giving me soft meat, gives me the hippy jippies right now

thesicilian:
Kill it for food and you'll feed few people for a day.
Take it to the zoo and people will pay to see it, feeding hundreds of people for years.

U never hear say zoo keeper dey chop money wey dem give am for animal food? Our zoo keepers dey rob the animals for zoo, u hear?

GeniusWannabe:
It looks really cute. I hope it doesn't get into the hands of cannibals.

I know say some people go don dey look for firewood.

Skepticus:


If you have never had a business in abia state and you think of opening one, you better keep your money ooo.

The spirit of indebtedness is spreading everywhere from the government house.

Even Shoprite all the way from South Africa isn't spared

Abians, how una dey take cope? No doubt, Nigerian politicians are useless but the Governors who have ruled Abia State since 1999 seem to be operating on a super-special level of uselessness.

Dem suppose carry the 3 of them and burn them with fuel in broad day light.

. The way I take laf just now ehn, nobody wey hear me no go believe say person papa no dey crase

pek:
A graduate wrote this? It is finished.

First of all, na opera mini e use type this. Opera mini wey no go school to dey Sabi use capital letter. Secondly e do ma fas gas, with small vex. Thirdly, abeg sleep dey catch me

vincentjk:
How will the heat of the fire damage your skin my dear, abi you cook with firewood??

I also make enticing dishes too, most times my friends think I go out and buy a well prepared food then present it to them in a garnished way. Esp female friends


Cooking is a thing of fun

Don't mind those lazy slay bones. No be say dem get something wey person fit use replace the inability to cook sef

u11ae1013:
These pastors have the sharpest libido
That was how my girl went for counseling, the pastor rubed oil on his Dickson and asked her to suck it that it will destroy the spirit of death in her

Guy are u serious? Abeg talk true o

Thegeneralqueen:
Arabic is not our language hope you noooooo.....

Yes, we "NO"

DaBullIT:
Bastards argued with me

And same idiots are still saying the suspect shouldn't have been released ,


I know a few lawyers are on this forum, intent was emphasised in the write-up, meaning he hasn't scammed anyone successfully yet


Same sets of idiots are saying its a cover up


Believe what you choose but the fact remains (albeit known to sensible people) okolie attempted to defraud people

He ran away from home

And was arrested for intent to defraud

Everybody, this is Maman Daura's son or his son's ass-licker

LuIuosas:
Lies to cover up

Shey the case go soon enter court na. Make dem go use this story for counter affidavit, weda the judge no go use dem drink garri

rentAcock:
That explains the howling sound I was hearing in my compound last night. Rumours have it, my landlord is a werewolf.

It's at these moments, TheFacelessMan's quick stories about being on a mission hired by a local priest to hunt down a werewolf would have spiced up this news piece

generationz:
I have not watched it but I've seen people recommend it for women who complain about their marriages.

Watch am na. If u no dey among those "pray against husband snatchers" club, na so so para u go dey para.

generationz:
You forgot to tell him to bath regular, watch war room and wear sexy boxers.

"War room". That very useless movie. That movie is everything unscriptural.

OP one thing u haven't learned yet is the ability to keep ur lips sealed and whatcha the yapping. Just swallow it all. Don't frown, don't do ur face one kain, don't eye her upandan. Just keep mute and watch. Don't walk away rudely or angrily. It's an art. Do this all the time tension begins to grow, and no matter what she says. Yes, even she curse ur papa. When u get tempted to respond in like manner, just tell urself "this is no competition to win a point or an argument or prove one or the other, wrong". when she has began to notice it, it would either piss her off or she would learn to be more courteous. Whichever happens, I mean thereafter, talk to her mildly about the issue. Once she becomes argumentative and unreasonable about the issue, keep mute again. U go dey ask for my number next time, ah swear

Getting some DM for hook ups......I'm not into that...........Bollocks! Go tell that to flying squirrels.

herzernIsHere:
Out of the 200 Bridesmaid, about 185 are lowkey runsgirls.

#Mtcheew

And I was thinking it was 199

Very foolish ppl

NwaAmaikpe:




This is some acute fvckery.
Lesbianism isn't caused by any evil spirits.

It is strictly a chromosomal misinformation and that's why a lesbian is a lesbian.
Homosexualism is genetically ingrained, it could also be a nurtured preference.

I've seen female toddlers walk like boys, talk like boy and grow up seeing themselves as boys. Many a times, they are lesbians.
If they grow up in permissive countries, they are open about their sexual preferences.

But if they are in Nigeria, they get married to a man just to save face but stay up at night licking the househelp's kpekus.
This is genetical.

I've seen straight ladies who became lesbians after staying in an all-girl hostel or attending an only female school.
This is nurtured.

But for anyone to say it is spiritual tops the ridiculous of the most ridiculouses because all ladies are naturally bisexual.
Society even encourages them to because it is okay to see a girl touch a fellow girl's boobs in public, hold hands while walking or call themselves pet-names but very absurd for a man to.

God makes all things perfect and the Bible says that after creating man, he was happy because he created him with no mistakes.

For people who are genetically homosexual, God won't see it as a sin because it is beyond them.
There is a difference between morality and sin.
Like masturbating may be immoral but masturbating is not a sin; so some of our preferences could just be immoral and no sins.

The truth is, God's ways are not man's ways.
So if God loves the lesbians and the misfits, who am I not to?

. Guy why na

AwkaetitiBabe:
One can marry with less sef. You both just gotta agree.


You'll get cute rings on Aliexpress for less than 1500 sef

Liar liar! g-strings on fire

Richy4:
And u are showing us pictures with nice wedding gown and suits..U should have posted the 13k suit to encourage the readers more haba!!!

don't mind him

SecretSpy666:
I registered on this platform to tell my story and encourage other Nigerian youths who may have humble background like me, not to give up.

I did one of the craziest wedding in human history. I can’t stop laughing now as God has changed our story

COST OF THE WEDDING IN DETAIL:
Statutory marriage (court wedding) – took place in December, 2015

The court wedding was contracted at the marriage registry of Kano State, opposite Emir Sanusi’s palace, Kano municipal. Here are what I spent:
1) Wedding Certificate fee N8,000
2) Wedding ring N1,500
3) Clothes for the wedding for both of us (including sewing) N13, 600
4) Two crates of multina N5000
5) One carton of Digestive biscuit N600
6) Transport for both of us (kake napep) N200 (to and fro)

Total: N 28,900

No reception

Few invitees and no much celebrations


TRADITIONAL WEDDING:
I spent about 35,000 including clothes.

HOW IT STARTED

I was posted to Kano for my NYSC in 2014 August, Batch B. I fell in love with this beautiful lady and we had similar historical background. Before I completed my NYSC, I got admission to Bayero University for my master degree programme (march, 2015). I didn’t have what it takes for marriage and there was no help from anywhere. I really wanted to dump her and focus on my study but she never let me go.

She told me she want to go for master too, we hurriedly applied for her during the late application period, she was lucky she got admission to study community health. She took me to her parents who are based in Kaduna but are from Okrika in River state. Her parents are educated and gave me good advice and encourage us to get serious with our studies. The father told me to pay N5,000 as bride price and I spent about 30,000 for a very quiet traditional wedding.

In Kano, we live in a single room (self contain) opposite Bayero University gate, going to school together. I started a part time teaching with Al-Furkaan Science Academy with 18,000 salary and also work it for her to be teaching there too for 15,000 salary. The school management did not know that we are couple. Some teachers there were even trying to talk to her….
After our coursework, as if God was waiting for us to complete the coursework, boom!!! I was called by an agro allied company based in kano for interview. I applied online for the job. I got the job and we were both happy!!!

Three months later, my wife got a job with an NGO working in communities in Kano and Jigawa. Not long after, we moved to a two bedroom flat and got a car. We had a baby boy now and building a house in Otukpo, Benue state.

THIS IS MY TESTIMONY……
Start little and God we increase it…
I was so ashamed then and the people laughing at us them are now coming to begg us for money and support.

Now my wife is saying we should do a flamboyant, expensive, and gorgeous church wedding and invite all the people we invited during the low-key court and traditional marriage...and invite all friends, foes and all the people laughing at us at that time....

OP but these are not your wedding pix na

internationalman:
Here they go again...

If masturbation causes gluttony, by now I would have been killed for stealing foods from neighboring town after finishing the ones in my town

A legend has spoken

mrbyron:
Mysterious life

Even the grammar is seriously mysterious