₦airaland Forum

NGpatriot:
So, deploying thousands of troops, military hardware from stealth bombers to the most advanced fighter jets, special forces, fighting and killing, spending $2.4 Trillion, 2.500 US military deaths and 40,00 injured is actually not war because the US congress did not declare war?

What kind of elementary talk is this






The above is the meaning and definition for the word WAR, not what is declared by the US congress or any entity under the sun.

You might want to look in the mirror for GROSS IGNORANCE.

The war in Afghanistan come with alot of rules hence and American forces hands are tied on what to do. US forces initial objective was to dislodge Taliban government which was successful but the real problem is with Afghan government that is to maintain the gains . Afghanistan forces have not been able to hold formally reclaimed territory and lack the will power to fight.

seunmsg:
Why can’t your almighty US army defeat ragtag Taliban forces in Afghanistan? Why are they negotiating peace with them? When the US ran into trouble in Somalia, it was the Nigeria Army that came to their rescue.

Fighting Boko Haram is not like fighting conventional wars. It is an asymmetrical warfare that is mixed with politics and religious indoctrination. Even if you kill all Boko Haram fighters today, those who believe in the ideology will raise another set of fighters tomorrow and continue the fight. So you see, defeating Boko Haram is beyond the military. We must also defeat the politics and the ideology behind the group.

Are you aware trump told Afghanistan govt that on a normal levels, he wishes to take over Afghanistan he would do it. Who is Taliban you are hyping? Do you know American forces are somewhat constraints due to rule of engagement? And alot sabotage from Afghan government. Abeg don't you compare both scenarios

Sometimes u just laugh at ignorance of some people here. How much is even Nigeria defence budget compared to other nations of the world? Let me tell you straight up, we do not have a military.You may argue all you want ! 100k dogged young boys with just Ak47 can take down this country in weeks. Abeg , when discussing military, Nigeria should take a several backseat .

Fun facts, American can invade Nigeria in 4 days max if they so wish.

KosiGee:
I wanted to ignore this thread as I think it’s a foolish one but seeing your comment and that of Rossikii, I was compelled to post.

Men of the Nigeria military used to be rugged, fire eaters and brave. They are not what they used to be in my opinion. I don’t think that you can count on the Nigeria military to deliver like they used to.
I don’t think the camaraderie, patriotism, discipline, ruggedness and grit, intelligence and morale with which they are known for are still there. A lot of factors are required when you are talking of fighting effectiveness. There’s a lot of erosion in the Nigeria military no thanks to decades of corruption, bad leadership, incompetence, bad priorities, lack on intelligence and nepotism.

We can see all these at play in recent conflicts with Boko haram. The terrorist group still traverse our terrain boldly in trucks and personnel, launch attack and disappear! Where does that happen??

Despite what you hear about the US military or it’s pirtraya in Hollywood , they are amongst the best 3 in the world if not the best...logistics, motivation, training and discipline and most importantly PATRIOTISM.

Someone said they used lots of air support. Are you being serious? Battle isn’t a street brawl where you jump in and start throwing wild punches...if you have good and better reach, it’s wise to use it effectively to jab your opponent into submission. Every good fighter knows that whether it’s boxing, martial art or the military.

Nigeria isn’t lacking in personnel and self motivation but those won’t take you far. The edge they’d give you is very limited.

The thread question is a silly one and the comparison is very unfair.

Comparing both is like comparing a well motivated and talented athlete who has good nutrition and supplements, trains in a well equipped gym and environment under various top personal trainers to someone who trains in the backyard with lorry fly wheels and bars welded and coupled together, eats badly, has big pecs, deltoids and biceps but with spindly and badly trained, badly shaped and untouched leg muscles with very bad core strength.

Good analysis my brother! Just like saying Nigeria trained boxer will defeat fury because he eats corn flakes. Forgetting that skills technicality outperforms physical strength.

Oblongata:
Nigerian ground forces are one of the best in the world...

Given the same logistics and equipment, Nigerian Army would outshine American army.

Forget all the films you watch about US army... the US army is not that rugged, and depends largely on CIA for intelligence which makes their operations far more successful than others.

Nigerian army is great and rugged, but sabotage has killed the morale, I pray it goes back to its glory days

Which Nigeria forces? Why the hype? Those that couldn't defeat boko haram with same equivalent equipment? Or are you going to tell me that boko haram is better armed than Nigeria forces that they are easily dislodged in combat? See tools alone is not enough to win a war against an adversary , reason why houthi rebel are giving the Saudi run for their money.

post=98076268:
First read these short post below and move on to the long one after that.....


NOW; Seriously, let's be sincere. As things stand today politically, why would the APC even hand power to us Igbos in 2023? 
On what grounds? 
On what records?
On what politics?
Is power given to anyone? 
Is it an appeasement or a gift? 

The APC is a political party. The main focus of a political Party is to hold power and keep it to enable it deliver on its agenda. So if the APC reads that the SE does not want the Presidency or does not have the capacity to help them win and keep power, they will stick with the regions that can and work with individuals who are interested. 


SOUTH EAST: IS IT NOT TOO LATE?

I have read the recent transmissions by Senator Bukola Saraki directed at my Igbo tribe. I have deliberately kept mum on this as I had earlier resolved to speak less on Igbos as regards the 2019 Elections and 2023 Presidency having said quite a bit. 

However seeing as some of my brethren have swallowed the cheap bait, I will chip this in just to keep the reality before us, at least for posterity sake. Truth is bitter but it's still the best medicine. 

My people say; 'He who does not remember where the rain started beating him, will not remember where it stopped'. 

REWIND TO 2014. 
A new National Party was being conceived. Political Parties, political players and Regions were being wooed to the new alliance. 

'We' Igbos (read South East) vehemently refused to touch it even with a long pole. We packaged, sold to ourselves and bought the baseless propaganda that it was an Islamic alliance that would birth an "Islamic" and "Hausa" Party. Simply because those our brethren heavily invested in the PDP at the time were afraid of losing their vested selfish interests.
Till today I'm still trying to fathom the basis for that wicked and twisted deceit especially as many of those Igbo elites who sold that dummy have since ported to the same APC.

We failed to even identify with that new Alliance. Hence the Party, APC was birthed without any remarkable input from us or presence. The few amongst us who aligned were called all kinds of names and abused to high heavens by us even when they were proven right afterall.

Thus the few Igbos who were part of it were at best fringe players as they didn't have the required clout to make serious demands and do the necessary political wheeling and dealing required in Politics to strike the hard bargains since politics is all about interests and numbers. They were even suspect, so much so that it was only their personal political sagacity that gave them whatever they got.

That Party went on to win the Presidential Election which in truth, most of us never believed it could or would, because of our half baked permutations and poor understanding of Nigerian politics. But it did. 

Curiously we turned up at the fore front of telling this same Party how it should share it's 'spoils of war'. We became hypocritical moral champions with an over bloated sense of entitlement. Who does that, in all political reality and practicality? But we did, even while vehemently and vociferously still refusing to shift our position, style and rhethoric.

We dug in. Supported every bad thing and person against the Party, the elected President and the Administration while denying any and every good done to and for our Region.

Fast forward to where we are today. Almost four years after the 2015 misadventure, we have stayed put at 2015, refusing to move forward, refusing to shift grounds, refusing to play pragmatic politics, telling ourselves the same lies we cooked and bought in 2015 and some more. 

Now barely 5 months to another election, we have started again saying "APC cannot give Presidency to Igbos in 2023". "Buhari cannot hand over to an Igbo man because Buhari hates Igbos". "APC is deceiving you", bla bla bla.

Of course. We will believe Saraki, who has only but a fanthom dream of becoming President and whose only known record is selfishness but we can't believe Buhari who's already President and who has a record of voluntarily picking two great Igbo sons as running mates in the past? Chukwu aju.

It is interesting and vital to note here that the PDP which many of us still proudly support and adore was in power for 16 solid years and in those years there were 4 Presidential Inaugurations and on none of those was an Igbo man found worthy by the PDP of even Vice Presidency and we are still bold to say it is the APC that has not even finished one and a half tenure that doesn't want to give power to Igbos. Odi nma. 

NOW; Seriously, let's be sincere. As things stand today politically, why would the APC even hand power to us Igbos in 2023? 
On what grounds? 
On what records?
On what politics?
Is power given to anyone? 
Is it an appeasement or a gift? 

The APC is a political party. The main focus of a political Party is to hold power and keep it to enable it deliver on its agenda. So if the APC reads that the SE does not want the Presidency or does not have the capacity to help them win and keep power, they will stick with the regions that can and work with individuals who are interested. 

Make no mistake, I have always said, I do not blame us Igbos for the decision majority of us took in 2015. It's our right. But continuing to pretend that it was other regions, Buhari or the APC that made us do what we did then or remain where we are today is purely self deceit and I refuse to play that ostrich game. 

As far back as 2014, I and many others made that argument that Igbo Presidency was very feasible in 2023, ONLY under under the APC, ONLY IF we did a couple of things right politically. I personally continued to speak loudly on that even after the 2015 elections until when I realized that we were not ready to play the politics that was required and now I dare say it may be too late. Or is it not? Time will tell.

For now, we can continue to tell ourselves that we cannot hold the Presidency of Nigeria. I heard and read many of our brethren go from PDP to Biafra/seccesion (read IPOB) to Referendum to "Igbos do not need Presidency but Restructuring" etc forgetting that all that didn't lie squarely with us alone. We think other regions are not reading our body language?

I really don't care what Saraki writes or says because they've all come to realize that it's very easy to play us like a flute. So like Saraki, like Fani Kayode, like Fayose, like Atiku, even Jonah Jang of all people, they keep playing us.

I've learnt not to bother myself anymore to avoid unnecessary abuse from nonentities . As some of us have said, it's good governance we want, even if only one village will be producing the Presidents. So be it.

Ka Chineke mezie okwu. 

If you guys ever care about the progress of this country or her unity then you won't type all this.

It took the bombing of pipeline installations before govt ever gave Jonathan opportunity to become the vice to then president just to appease the region.
It took the boko haram bombing for Nigeria to build alamajiri schools using federal resources.
Today, Northerners are considered educational disadvantage region, and the government allowed the cut off marks to be brought down to accommodate them in unity schools.

Since igbos are olodo in politics, why can't the people also lower the bar so that they too can participate? should they carry arms for their plight to be taken seriously?

gopel8052:
I'm asking you is public sex sensible?

I don't know why you assume im Muslim, a buharist or Northerner.

Is this behaviour normal in any sane society?

Yes or no?

What he thinks does not matter , but ask what the constitution says about it. If constitution is silent about it, why not ask your rep to move a motion in house of assembly. Don't support illegality because it doesn't conform to your way of life. What is wrong means different things to different people.

CowbellY:
Come.

Bro, okay let's do it.

Omihanifa:
It's obvious that demolition was done in bad faith. The governor should have waited to catch them red handed first before demolishing that building instead of doing it based on rumours and speculations.

That means if anyone comes out tomorrow with a poster that carries the inscription GAY party with just a phone number and no venue the governor can use that as an excuse to demolish his political opponents houses or hotels

The governor has succeeded in setting a dangerous precedent

Even if the act is committed, is there any known law against such? Are we savages in this part of the world? Why then do we have a constitution? I think we don't need the house of assembly any further.

noulish:
Done

Replied you

noulish:
Okay, how do i contact u?

Drop me a mail , so we can chat on whatsapp

Unik3030:
so if they rent a flat,where will they put over 100 cows?

Where does others people who does business keep their wares?

amuwo1980:
Mister calm down , I never said provide them with alternative, I said present to them the alternatives , it must be a carrot and stick approach. We are peace loving ppl

You don't treat an enemy with kid gloves!
They have proven that they are ruthless and they don't hide it. You don't achieve peace through being gentle,it is a fact!

noulish:
State how u need it. Is it into your Domiciliary account or Bitcoin or PayPal or cash?

UK bank account

amuwo1980:
So present that alternative to them, I can’t even go to my village and occupy any land , I just don’t like the euphoria accompanying the drive the Fulani out, let’s give the true ones a chance, we can’t live alone, I don’t think they understand that they have to make certain arrangements before they dwell in a place, the ones with guns and cattle rampaging farms she be dealt with.

How can you provide alternative to them are they different from others who follow laid down rules? Where you currently reside,who advised you to take up accomodation? Why would they have special treatment? They said igbos are not good at politics,why are other Nigerians not giving them preferential treatment ?

CowbellY:
Come bro.

I need it into UK bank account and I will transfer equivalent to you in Naira

Good afternoon, I need 100 pounds, who is selling?

I need 100 pounds, who is selling?

LandMann:
Fück you

Your response elucidate your mental health, no worries, it is well!

[quote author=LandMann post=97614238]Nigeria needs complete restructuring...

We're this underdeveloped because a certain part of this country doesn't value education while the other part of the country is so good at looting that their educational achievement is nothing but nonsensical because there's no practical application of learning while those with good brains run away before Nigeria and it's wicked leaders kill their dreams.

As part of restructuring, we must operate this country on a new constitution that gives rights to states to manage their affairs themselves, from revenue to spending and all... while extremely strong autonomous bodies are created to checkmate each other in the states... Every affairs of the states must be public knowledge, down to security vote spending...

Each state must spend minimum of twenty five percent of its budget on education... Colleges of science and technical institutes must be established and fully funded...

Death should be the price for corruption.

Churches in the south must contribute 50 percent of their revenue from offerings and other donations to funding public education and health.

Fück you and your ideology if you think churches shouldn't do the above.

Each state must make laws that caters for the welfare of indigens of the state...

If majority of the people of a state want Sharia law then give them Sharia.

If you go to their state, be ready to obey their Sharia law just as you won't Mess up in Saudi Arabia or UAE...

Respect each other.

Reduce federal government role to national policy making that doesn't conflict with state policy... national defense, and migration so that if a corrupt thief from the south becomes president he won't see money to loot and if an illiterate from the north becomes president he won't frustrate western educational progress in the south because his religion does not really fancy it.

This country is a dream killer.

All those looting the resources of this country and contributing to killing the hopes and dreams of millions of Nigerian via corruption and nepotism, from governor to president to lawmakers and judges all of you will die untimely death... Sorrow and deadly diseases will never depart from your head and your household. You and your family will never know happiness just as u have put millions of Nigerians in poverty and suffering despite the riches of the country.

That's my new year message to Nigerians and all leaders in Nigeria.[/quo

LandMann:
Nigeria needs complete restructuring...

We're this underdeveloped because a certain part of this country doesn't value education while the other part of the country is so good at looting that their educational achievement is nothing but nonsensical because there's no practical application of learning while those with good brains run away before Nigeria and it's wicked leaders kill their dreams.

As part of restructuring, we must operate this country on a new constitution that gives rights to states to manage their affairs themselves, from revenue to spending and all... while extremely strong autonomous bodies are created to checkmate each other in the states... Every affairs of the states must be public knowledge, down to security vote spending...

Each state must spend minimum of twenty five percent of its budget on education... Colleges of science and technical institutes must be established and fully funded...

Death should be the price for corruption.

Churches in the south must contribute 50 percent of their revenue from offerings and other donations to funding public education and health.

Fück you and your ideology if you think churches shouldn't do the above.

Each state must make laws that caters for the welfare of indigens of the state...

If majority of the people of a state want Sharia law then give them Sharia.

If you go to their state, be ready to obey their Sharia law just as you won't Mess up in Saudi Arabia or UAE...

Respect each other.

Reduce federal government role to national policy making that doesn't conflict with state policy... national defense, and migration so that if a corrupt thief from the south becomes president he won't see money to loot and if an illiterate from the north becomes president he won't frustrate western educational progress in the south because his religion does not really fancy it.

This country is a dream killer.

All those looting the resources of this country and contributing to killing the hopes and dreams of millions of Nigerian via corruption and nepotism, from governor to president to lawmakers and judges all of you will die untimely death... Sorrow and deadly diseases will never depart from your head and your household. You and your family will never know happiness just as u have put millions of Nigerians in poverty and suffering despite the riches of the country.

That's my new year message to Nigerians and all leaders in Nigeria.

Why should church bail the educational sector? Why I agree that they can contribute through charity but don't make it it a policy towards revitalisation of the comatose institution.
Government must find innovative ways in tackling it.

AdaNri1:
Which peace? He committed a crime by abducting their kids. Mind you his visa will be revoked for this. Once his name is on the record whatever town or city he moves to will not shield him even if it takes months or years. His fingerprints and biometric data which was taken when he applied for visa/passport/verified upon arrival to Britain will fish him out.

Abduction? How? For taking his biological kids? The only crime if any is if he forged any document and not abduction. How will you proof that in court?

AdaNri1:
She can do more. I would even send an email to the county council where they live. Social services will take those kids within a week if she knows what city or borough they live in.

With this covid 19? When everything is almost to a halt? Do you no how long it takes to get a reply from government these days? Even if he got the city correctly, wouldn't the man change location and hide his ID? Best is for her to make peace not gra gra

hashtagged:
@TemiBami2020 After seeing a woman come online to lie about rape can you still believe women again. I had a bad father and bad father's don't run away with their kids, they dump their kids and leave. He probably left cause you were very irresponsible and a very bad wife.
My Uncle left his wife the same way when he found out his wife had been cheating on him and she left their last born seriously sick to go and fvck another man, the guy is fed up.

Zzor did someone steal your phone?

You are absolutely correct. Some just bear the title mother but in reality they are not. Reason why the welfare of the kids should be considered first not her ranting

Deportation is not easy as discussed here. You think with this covid 19 when all government offices are working in snail speed your case will be treated as priority? In fact the case might not be treated self only to be kept in archive for reference purposes.
Madam, go and make peace!

My take on this matter if true is to be sure the OP is really into the lives of these kids?
I have seen mother's who only bear such title but neglect the affairs of her kids. If I am to draw deduction from OP I think she only bears the title of mother and not putting it into practice.

If my deduction is correct, I think the kids are better staying with their father for proper upbringing. If the kids get deported and handover to the mother, what is the assurance the kids will get better care from her? Will this not lead to having another problem in our country due to failed upbringing? I think in this matter the welfare of the kids should be a priority before making a decision. It is obvious the marriage is gone.

peterveo:
Hello everyone, please I need advice on how to handle this situation.
I got into UK in October through student Tier 4 visa. After completing visa verification from school, they sent a mail that my brp was not produced due to home office technical issues.
I have sent mails and called for help till this morning, school keeps saying they can't fast track home office process.

What can I do in this distress?
Is it wise to contact the home office by my self?(school advised I let them handle the situation).
Has body experienced this before?
Your experience and advice will be of great help. Thanks

I was in same mess with you all I did was to reach out to my school immigration unit for assistance. They mail their contact person at the home office and got a feedback after 5days. Right now, I have mail from them on where to pick it up.

In my case , I sent to over 5 different emails explaining the situation only two of them replied and promised to follow up. I don't know if it was my email or the school contact that made the difference.

SilverNorGold:
We have unscrupulous southern elements pretending to be Northerners just to mock us, even here on Nairaland. Members like Kaduna1stSon, Yenefer, etc are examples. They start by praising our beloved father, President Mohammadu Buhari and Northerners and then subsequently unleashing their anti-North agenda.. They don't mean well for us. So they can continue to fool themselves..

That said, I strongly condemn the Kankara GSS attack. The government should do everything possible to arrest the situation and bring the perpetrators to book! More military personnel should be deployed as a matter of urgency to ensure that all civilians are safe and sound. Nothing must happen to anyone otherwise the repercussion may not augur well for the government.. But I strongly believe in the leadership/capability of President Mohammadu Buhari and I am 100% sure he'll handle this issue professionally and intelligently, being an experienced, brilliant and intelligent retired General.

While we await the outcome, I appeal to my brothers and sisters in the North to remain calm and patient.

God bless Nigeria.

Honestly, I have never quoted you before but what surprises is how you place so much hope on someone like you, like seriously!

Heartbrokengirl:
I didn’t end a relationship. Seems Nairalanders do not read. His father didn’t insist we marry in Catholic church, the father insisted he marries a practicing catholic. He started ghosting me and I got the message.

I don’t want to sound stereotypical, but the married guy is the average Yoruba muslim. Traits of Christianity and Islam in one person.

Why did you not work out this with him? Or you think finding a trusting relationship is easy? Except the guy as got something else besides the church thing!
I see you as someone who is liberal hence my initial post. If your initial bf is good guy besides church things go back to him!

Heartbrokengirl:
I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.

It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.

We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go. It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.

It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.

One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.

After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?

I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…

He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!

He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.

At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.


When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.

I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him ho

You ended a relationship because of his father insisted that marriage has to be conducted in the Catholic church, but okay to settle for a Muslim assuming he was not married.
My sister, na you play your self.

Heartbrokengirl:
I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.

It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.

We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go. It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.

It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.

One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.

After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?

I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…

He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!

He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.

At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.


When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.

I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him how much he has hurt me, but I forgive him and appreciate him telling me when he did.

It has been almost 3months but the pain lingers. I know I will be fine…

You ended a relationship because of his father insisted that marriage has to be conducted in the Catholic church, but okay to settle for a Muslim assuming he was not married.
My sister, na you play your self.

Nigeria is on immigrant visa ban!
Aboki no think am well.