₦airaland Forum

I saw this at the US embassy, one guy like that was just shouting at the clearance officers at the gate, the officer was telling my guy what to do on the embassy site, guy insisted they must write down the instructions for him (he was asked to select another date or so. We kept begging the applicant my guy nor gree until officer got angry and asked my guy to leave and instantly called the security wey no dey hear "come back" for embassy, my guy humbled, his humility was embarrasing, if na me I for still talk like "officer it's not fair o" but my guy turned and started begging.

Come to the city to work kwa

eyinjuege:
True they are humans. But we also are human, and so are our children. One has to just try and do right by your children no matter how inconveinencing it is, or how difficult.
They will always remember those times whether good or bad. Children are more discerning and even wiser than we give them credit for. They are seeing these things and don't need anyone to sway their minds against their parents. The memories I shared were over 30years ago, but I still remember..

Fathers are emotionless when it comes to sacrifice, giving what they don't have and most of us don't and can't see what they go through, so it's easy to forget what you didn't see over a period of 30 years, mother's sacrifice (which is also enormous) can be seen in how she remained by your bedside when the father was away (probably begging the company accountant for loan), or driving that danfo putting extra ours to make your hospital bill money and the money to return to the owner of the bus. They don't cry outward, the bleed inside. They don't brag about it like women do because the society tells them it's a man's duty to provide. I have seen many accidents in the course of our work, men loosing fingers, broken limbs and you know what's common to them all? They all want to resume work so they can continue to feed their families. Left to a man who broke his limb he would have taken a long time off work. Like i said you are lucky to have a man who was able to juggle work a daddy duties while growing up, not all are that lucky. But your earlier opinion about fathers not being worthy of praise is a faulty view point. Great job fathers!!!

eyinjuege:
I have been fortunate to have a decent father. I had an all expense paid education abroad, so he is a man of means. Yet, he was still there for ALL his children. I remember our first child preparing for exams to enter secondary school. Despite lessons by tutors, my dad still taught him ( though he was harsher on his first child than the others following) I remember me going to meet him to help sort out some mathematics problems in primary school. There was one green book for pry 6, that had very hard maths in it while I was just in pry 4, and he would help me with my maths.
My father is a man I wouldn't toy with anything concerning him, and I have been more than blessed having such a man sire me. He is a man who never jokes with his children. In terms of prayers, he's A1. In terms of finances A1, in terms of being emotionally available A1.
I have so many wonderful memories of my childhood with my father. Same with my mum, but I think growing up was made better by my dad.
I have these memories, so how can my mum alienate my dad? It's just not possible.

We are both lucky to have great parents, mom and dad and I hope we can pass their legacies onto our children to love their parents no matter what the situation is. Remember parents are humans, with flaws, desires and challenges. I appreciate your insight.

eyinjuege:
Mothers also toil and provide financially for their children. Even in those days of old, mothers went to the farm and grew crops to sell. In the present world, same thing still continues to happen. While a father will gladly go to the beer parlour with concubines and friends and spend his money there, a mother will ensure her family is fed first before even eating herself.
Many are not blind, and they see women toiling day and night to provide money the manner the house should have been doing. At the same time too, they are actively involved in caring for their children, feeding them, cleaning them up. I give salute to African women. That despite all the challenges faced from a patriarchal society, they have managed against all odds to still have it together.
I hardly ever see housewives anywhere around me. I see hardworking women everywhere in banks, hospitals, markets, even construction sites. These women are not working to slay, but to provide a better life for their children.
We have so many bad mothers in the society. Money squanderers, philanderers and cheating women, some build houses secretly without the man's knowledge so tell me something else and leave out good mothers narrative out of our discussion.
Men need to step up their game and emulate the women who are bringing money to the home, and still looking after their children. No be by mouth to be a parent o..

It's unfortunate your father abdicated his duties for your mother. So sorry about that.Having said that look around you, for every woman in the bank there are ten men, for every woman in the army in the office, there are 2000 men, for every woman working on the rig, their are 600 men (I work there so I know). When women bring home money which they rarely do, it becomes so obvious and well orchestrated, men bring in billions into homes per day but it doesn't hit the news.
Your description of the father is the Nollywood superficial stereotype. Most fathers don't drink, most hardly have time for drinking as this is considered a luxury. This is what happens, when a man goes out to hustle and work in the most harsh terrains, the wife is at home making food with the money the man drops for food, it he stays late because of work, the wife begins to tell the children "your father is out there, I'm sure he has eaten by now not minding what his children will eat, oya my children take my own plate of rice and eat it, I'll go to bed without food, I'll just drink water" These lines sink into the minds of these children, endearing her to them and alienating the poor man who might not have eaten and may have been going through hell to bring home something no matter how hard it is. I have seen this in so many families. There is nothing in marriage for the man.

Pavore9:
It is no fairy tale, my father did it and that did not stop him from achieving so much financially which we his children are still benefitting from an adults.

Mothers' bonding begins prenatal, no matter how a man is struggling to provide his family, he should make out time for his children. Haven't you seen or heard widows who is single-handedly provided for their children but still had time to emotionally bond with her children?

Don't ignore the fact some men feel emasculated being emotionally available to their children, some prefer spending most of their free time outside the home to "satisfy their personal needs".

Women are and will always alienate their husbands from the children, it's the easiest thing they do, I have seen so many cases. And most children are unaware of the alienation or at least they realize when they are too old to change anything, when it's too late.

Rosarie:
is not true.kids see right through .book or not.
My mom tried sooo hard for we not to see my dad for whom he was but Las Las we knew.
My daughters love their dad more than me.
Why cos they see even at their tender age.so forget book

It won't be long before you begin to work on your daughters' minds so you can have a day like this bride. It's not because you want to do it, it's a woman's instinct to survive and position herself in the minds of her children in case of the days of old age, the children would unknowingly favor their mothers than their fathers, it goes beyond immediate parents into the extended family, they begin to develop more attachment for their maternal relations than their father's family. Google up "Parent Alienation" and see how it works and the majority victims. Sorry, you are not the reading type I guess.

asuustrike1:
Disappointing because many of them have neglected their responsiblities. Many do not have time for their kids rather they spend so much time in search for money. There is no bond between many fathers and their kids that is why many children are so much attached to their mother. Money is not everything in life. Many of those billionaires rarely have time for their kids rather they just splash money on them.

Sir/ma please look for the book titled "The Manipulated Man" written by Ester Villa, you would know why men are always underappreciated in life. Men are created to work for the woman and "HER" children until he dies.

Pavore9:
Children are likely to bond with fathers who are emotionally available to them, it is beyond paying the bills. Laugh and play with your children, such are what sticks to the heart even in adulthood.

It is a fairy tale dream, more like Cinderella story to have a father who would bond fully with his children, the toils of providing for their development is greater than the need for bonding. Bonding without finance is equal to bombing, fathers are created to work, however form it comes, work takes a lot of time and energy, we live to cater for the children and their mother, sometimes it's easy, most times it's not. Fathers are also responsible for putting their foot on the ground and making some tough decisions that the children may not like so they gravitate towards their mothers who welcome them with her soothing mental breas tmilk making the father look so evil for making an unkind decision that would overall help the family. Mothers are not supposed to usurp their husband's position in the hearts of their children, they systematically occupy the children's mind space, by the time the father retires, the children are all gone both physically and psychologically. As we speak I'm typing from a drilling rig.

Xisnin:
Actually they do.
You will hardly find a mother that abandon or reject her children but we
have plenty of fathers who ditch theirs in favor of children made with concubines
or even just to punish a "disobedient" wife.

Fathers dedicate their entire lives struggling and scraping the earth to provide the financial means for raising the family, they are in the army, on the rigs, police force, brick laying, farming and selling everyday of their lives. And because of work, they are hardly around the children so they are emotionally distant from the family, this long period of distance is what women latch on to create the attachment they have with the children. Instead of the women to impress on the children the importance of their father's toils, hence why he's not always around, they begin to hint that their father is seeing other women and that's it! Children hate their fathers for life. Today they say young men do not want to settle down and marry because of the financial situation of the country but many men may not be so willing to marry even in financial abundance because there isn't much to look up to in fatherhood these days, fathers have been portrayed as villain, cheats, abusers, brutes but fathers remain the pillars of the family unit no matter how much these now set of people called feminists want to change it, no wonder there are so many flaws in children raised by single mothers, they are filled with so much inadequacies, hatred and likely to make the same mistakes their mothers made and the unfortunate circle continues.

chriskosherbal:
So we are going to be dependent on loans year in year out as a country ba, were are we going as country .




See my signature for your mens product .

No man is an island, even advanced nations seek loans, in business generally, you must learn to use other peoples money to make profit. Learn, don't just talk out of emotions. Lastly, you should digest critically his words when in intelligent man like Elumelu speaks.

xendra:
learn! Mr, LEARN!

Ajapka you are still here?

xendra:
lol..You must be so pained because you look to treat women bad, oga learn to do the right thing, no bad thing will happen to me i am not afraid of senseless beings, no bad person should get away with plain evil. You will die a horrible slow painful death if you don't learn to treat people right so shut up

There was no mention of how their marriage fared, no one hinted he treated her badly but because it is the usual defense of women who murder their spouses, you couldn't wait to throw it out, you are so mentally weak to not know when to use the powerful defense lines, you are messing things up for your fellow women. You this spineless manipulating murderer. The bad part is you can't lift a finger to help yourself, no work, no education, just get pregnant for any unsuspecting man and make him take care of you as well as the baby (two babies). Run along now and go open your rotten egg-smelling puna let the unfortunate fellow dump trash into it, that's the only way you have not gone extinct.

frozen70:
He took one of your ribs to create women

Obviously women came from the rib and not anywhere close to the head, modern women are so mentally weak and dangerously dependent. But still very manipulative. They would kill the brightest man, destroy the strongest husband and quickly play victim. Guess what, we have so many "White Knight" men who would continue to defend every evil woman just to curry emotional favors from them. SOOOOO many women have killed that loving man in their hearts but can't find a good way to execute it because they need him to think everything for them including his death.

xendra:
Oga go and learn, I don't care what you think

I know women would always play the victim card no matter what the situation is, but don't you think this is too much if the story is what the OP says it is, have you lost every iota of empathy in you? May you die a very difficult death for being so cold hearted, nobody deserved to be treated in the manner in which this woman has treated this dying man, no matter the story in their marriage. You women just want to have license to kill any man with the perfect excuse of abuse/violence. It has been overused and the situation with change in no distant time.

dominique:
Whatever he could have done, it's totally unfair of her to picture him in such an undignified shape

My sister people will justify anything and defend the heinous even in the name of identifying with their gender. A heartless generation.

skulgen:
Sure they both planned the mans death.

Chaii see the man self open mouth like goat.
Mr man close ur mouth lets know where to start helping u.

Fear women...

On your death bed, you will dress well, dead.

Ighoga898:
God bless that guy who created a thread that for a married woman to cheat she'd probably wish her husband death..

Fear the only creature that has met with the devil one on one..

What's the link to the thread?

CodeTemplar:
hmmm...herdsmen?

Continue blaming every crime on herdsmen. We now know the drill. Stale.

bigpicture001:
Stop promoting CHINA...naija stand to gain nothing from the racist selfish govt of china

How is china racist? They are way better than most races on earth including some whites. Nigerian workers don't like Chinese companies because Nigerians hate to work, they just love to cut corners and Chinese won't allow that to happen.

JasonScoolari:
days ago she just showed up on my door pleading, I told her there is nothing to plead about because I non dey do again. She can spend the night but leave the next day.




You made a mistake which almost cost you your life by allowing her to pass the night.
You failed to define "I Nor Do Again" to the aggressive beautiful beast.

I must commend you for being calm, that was really good as you've avoided further problems.

When next she comes, involve the police, [b] never raise your hand to hit he[/b]r.

The bolded is very wrong, it is permissible under the law to defend yourself if your life / physical well being is threatened. Don't buy into that fabricated lie about not raising your hand against a woman, it has been overused and manipulated.

As a man nobody hears you when you speak up about violence/abuse, it falls on deaf ears, women hope violence against men can be legalized. But it's not entirely their fault, many male folks seem to enjoy the act, you would see men trying so hard to rationalize woman's brutality on fellow men at the same time championing the "do not lay your hand on a woman no matter what". Women hate men deep down their hearts (so says Esther Vila, a fellow woman). Take legal action immediately, however weak a man's cry may be on such matters, the law may not be willing to take action because you are the "strong one" but do so anyway, so you can have documented evidence in case you have to physically defend yourself in future. Best wishes.

Nothing says the killers are Fulani. He must have been killed by cult related groups, knowing fully well that some lecturers are affiliates of some of these fraternities.

softwerk:


Mass murder in a Christian dominated region of Kaduna!

This midget running a Muslim-muslim ticket is nothing but ill-wind!

Always whipping up religious dust on every unsubstantiated stories, who says Christian-Christian communities don't engage in communal crisis?

Alcohol is a leading cause of Permanent Memory Loss and severe brain damage.

chuddy111:
Am the real owner. The reason for selling is none of your business...Dnt mean to be rude but that question is unnecessary...Thanks

You are not a businessman, you sound like a novice, a good salesman must be able to handle his emotions (especially when 2m is involved) and push through with his sales, I was looking at the vehicle and I was going to ask few questions about it before I saw your outburst. You should look out for other opportunities to make a living.

I didn't know Nigeria had such a bureau.

Valerie47:
She need to change her body by slimming down, I saw her throwback, she was cute when she was slim. Fat make people ugly.

You have lost your purpose in life.

MaiconBest:
All I see is BIAFRAN oil money !!!

Biafra has no oil

Nothing is happening in South South, look at what Northern states are doing with their allocations, the Niger Delta has 13% of the revenue accrued from their respective states handed to them, they also have NDDC to cater for local infrastructural needs, OMPADEC, all you see is G-wagon driving barons collecting contracts they never execute. Shame on Niger Delta.

bedspread:
Church takes no one to Heaven!
Title takes no one der!

Accepting and Believing JESUS CHRIST is the Only way..

Any other is a Scam

You guys keep repeating the same words, no reason behind accepting Jesus over my great religion, Just accept! In the end, it's not because you want my salvation, you are only interested in winning the argument. Blast out with your European concocted religion.

bedspread:
JESUS ONLY IS THE WAY!

Religion takes Man to no where!

A Relationship with JESUS CHRIST is all that is needed for Anyone who cares about Eternity!

Tell that to the birds, Jesus himself wouldn't even believe you.