₦airaland Forum

If I read the thread correctly, what sexkillz and others suggested was the girl ask the guy what she feels not ask him out.
I stand by that advice. I have seen men being shy for close to ten years on a lady. They watch for years when the girl goes from relationship to relationship so I know it is possible. I remember getting tired of hearing a guy's tales of love from a distance over the years that I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had to go hint to the lady that I think my friend is in love wit her bla bla.
Some guys never ask ladies out and just let the relationship develop naturally, some can be really slow at it.
I believe the OP should have a heart to heart talk with the guy and let him say what he really feels about her. She already mentioned he said smth of that nature but must hv felt shut down that he didn't continue.

OP ask him how he feels and it will clarify things.

sexkillz:
Yeah! Once upon a time! Times change though! Sup bro?

I'm good bro. Hardly on NL these days - hardly any interesting threads that make you wanna come back to check. I can see you blazing hot all through tho.

I used to think Boyloaf was a smart dude. . . . . I guess I can't be right all the time

^^^ Your reasons on Darego, Anthony are deluded.

@topic
One thing I like is her sense of dressing so why change it. She doesn't disturb what I put on and vice versa. If she feels comfortable in it so be it. If she doesn't I will be the first to laugh at her discomfort.

Sexkillz to the rescue.

Nice one. . . . . . . . . . . Can someone summarize pls?

I have never slept with a guy before.

amosexy:
Just saw the notification to this thread in my box and it makes me laugh cos I'm happily married now and this to me is ultimate  . I believe whatever will be , will always be and to the singles out there don't give yourself heart attack becos of a man o .

C'mon gurl, dont leave a story half way.
For the sake of the singles in the house, and those who are interested
Did you get married to the bf of over 6yrs in this thread or some new catch? Any other interesting update to this thread?

Friendship is over. The line of friendship has been crossed

Walala:
As a Yoruba guy, I already know I would cheat and my partner will forgive because i got that "Gwap" $$$$$$.  My forefathers have always been randy and the conquest of women is seen as a sign of wealth.  Cheating is very necessary for a man to remain sane in his relationship as long as you use a condom and protect yourself and your wife.  Any lady that still believes that her man will not cheat in their marriage can call me so that I can sell the Third Mainland Bridge to her.  

Women are like cars and even people wey get ferrari dey tire and then go buy new car even if it ain't as good as their ferrari.

Clap for yourself. Good job
The sad thing about this is you can't get a quality woman, its got to be one with low self esteem so she can accept every BS you throw her way. Which means you never get to fully enjoy what heights your marriage could have reached.

You know those old men that end up being single and lonely late in life, making a fool of themselves throwing money and all possilbe to get a lady to smile at them? Look at the mirror long and hard now cos in future tht will be you and you wont like what you see.

Cogent:
Men have a proclivity to being easily excited and so their tendency to cheat is high, all those women that dont plan on remaining married to cheating men should get high paying jobs to support their kids for when the man almost definitely cheats.
If my man cheats, I might leave or stay, it depends on the role he is playing in my life at that point in time, If we are married with kids, I will not leave because the financial contribution he is making in their upbringing will improve the quality of their lives one way or another even if it is just a little, and I would want the best for them.
But while I will remain in the marriage after his infidelity, I WILL NOT LOVE HIM OR SHOW ANY SPECIAL TYPE OF AFFECTION FOR HIM. It will be a business-like relationship, we will live in harmony quite alright but there will no longer be any romantic, lovey-dovey bullshit.

You say you are staying for the kids. Yet what you are portraying to them is not the right idea of wat love or marriage should be. If it is the financial contribution you are looking for, he will pay for child support. Why put yourselves into a bondage. You acting that way shows your marriage is over. Why still stay in it?

how about the ones that just gave BJ?

[quote author=aloy/emeka link=topic=763761.msg9180755#msg9180755 date=1316482702]Proxy parenting can never equate real parenting ,I don't care how good they make it sound to you.[/quote]It's not the ideal situation but as you lay your bed, so shall you lie. It's no one's fault but the cheater. I'm not saying mistakes can't be made but you should be ready to bear the consequences.

Should we count one night stands? or the ones we never laid on the bed?

He should have thought of his kids before cheating. If two adults divorce, it doesn't deprive the kids of fatherly love. The parents can work out something

It don't matter if there are kids, families, friends, God, gods involved. You cheat once, I'm out.

-1.
Signs of cheating, I'm out.

If no signs then 0.

^^^^ I agree. Work is everything to the OP. The type of lady who will be willing to accept him will be those who dont love him but are willing to settle with him as a means to an end.
Eventually even those will determine being with him will not be worth it after a while. Good thing he did not include faithfulness or loyalty in his list of requirements in a woman. So that might actually work.

Easy get a lady to spend time with and you will know your compatibility.

Poor lady having to go through the rape and all. The problem I have with her is her not telling the truth earlier. If it really was raape, the randy husband should be thrown in jail. Stigma or not, she should tell her aunt, no matter the consequences before I can even consider being with her.

If it was me, I would leave. But the reason I would leave is simple: she kept it from me for six months. Since it happened while we are dating, I have a right to know and know it right away. Her secret past does not make things any easier but then I would hv dealt with that before things got any serious btw us.

I prefer calm ladies. Different guys prefer different things

just be yourself

na by force to date or marry them?

skypon2002:
i copy that
but wht if your dream gurl is not responding positively, what do u do?

It happens a lot. There is not much you can do to trap her. Sometimes the lady / guy is just not ready. You give her time to come around and in the meantime work your magic / charm ( and I don't mean juju) on her. In time she might realise that she can't live without you bla bla bla.

Other times the lady is just not sure/convinced you are the one. Still the same solution as above. Prove your love to him / her. But that's not to say you spend all your money to prove anything or let the person walk over you. Show your love in your actions and be dependable etc.

If the girl is absolutely sure you are not the one, or she doesn't respond positively, you leave. Cos even if you 'manages' you, you will never get the love reciprocated. You will always get the feeling you are second best and I doubt there are worse feelings than those. It's not worth staying with such a lady or guy when you know your best is never enough.
Walk away with your pride and dignity intact while you can. Who knows in some case, the guy/girl might come to realise how important you really are to her - but don't count on that happening. Walk away.

sexkillz

OP come back in couple of years when your wife starts sleeping with your brother. Karma is a bittchh

MBJ - look date of original post.

sexkillz:
Yeah! True talk! Do u also think she failed to notice? Or turned a Blind eye? Was she desperate?

To a lot of ladies out there
A lot of people are very good at masking their true character. And many more people are not good at reading people or signs. If you are expecting a guy you have been dating for six months to hit you or beat you to a pulp, you will be absolutely wrong. People whose bf's beat them mostly don't do so in the first couple of yrs, and definitely not when the lady has a very high chance of moving on easily.

The signs are usually in the way he treats people around him esp when he thinks you are not looking. Its in the way he is very controlling. I know it might seem very romantic at first that on your first date he ordered for you. Infact you might even brag about it and say you love a man being in charge but be very careful, those can be red flags.

Watch how you settle your disagreement or quarrells. Notice how uncompromising he can be. Listen to how he thinks a lady needs to be disciplined to keep her in check by her man. Or how he disrespects women.

Another one will be the kind of family he comes from. Does his papa beat his mama? If so, what does he think of it. Does he hate it and will never do that to a woman or does it think she deserves it?
Just few of the many things to watch out for.

^^^^^ I'm sure he is fine after 5 years.

I agree with sexkillz to a point. The woman might have been the underlying factor to her husband's bizzare behaviour. However that is only one possibility. Also no matter the lady's behaviour, he should not be hitting her or getting drunk regularly like a teenager. It just shows irresponsibility.

Another possibility is there was no love from either of them in the first place. From the first point (sexkillz's) the woman did not love her husband as the love was reserved for sam. The guy might have married her for a range of reasons from age to just having kids.

There is also the possibility that the husband is just naturally abusive.

There is also the possiblity that the frustration of the husband is cos the wife sucks in bed and is too stubborn to learn . Though that can be related to a lack of love but not necessarily.