₦airaland Forum

ossyme: @ DEOLS..... widaadic....widaad in arabic means affection ..... we both have an ideological confluence you are yet to appreciate ......anyway, you have not answered my question ....i think you should ma!

@ ds time, my privacy is paramount.

I have learnt that- nkan ti eniyan ko ba ni je, ko ye ko fi run imu. hope u get that

I see you @wizeboy.

better answer my question or I will not allow u rest

maclatunji: Like I said last night , Brother X sent me a mail detailing the courses he is interested in. What you are about to read next are the contents of that mail:

[b]Salamalaikum brother, sorry for the late response, my network was bad

this is a step by step list of the courses

would be done at Kits technologies, Palm avenue Mushin, Lagos
cctv/ip surveillance installation and maintenance= 7,500, a two days intensive training
vsat installation and maintenance= 7,500, a two days intensive training

would be done at affanti technologies, Ipaja Lagos
electric fence installation and maintenance=25,000 a two days intensive training

would be done at New Horizon, Ikeja Lagos
ccna full course= 45,000, a two months intensive training
ccnp full course=110,000, a five months intensive training

this are the list of courses i would like to take for now brother, note all the courses above excluding the ccna and ccnp are courses i can do first that would enable me raise money for the other expensive once, i have a good spirit of marketing online so i would be able to grow a quick and good client ones am done with the courses...please feel free to ask me questions where necessary because i believe am not perfect and i may not have put my words down clearly...

Jazakumllah khairan,[/b]

I think a means of money collection should be the next thing. 15k for the first two courses at least.

I doubt how sustainable those can be though. do many people install cctv? and electric fences with the challenges of electricity supply?
I hope there are many pple who would be willing to help this guy.

Wizeboy: Mac, thanks so much for your wonderful contribution and advice.

I agreed with every bit of your reply, infact its always all the disadvantages in cross-religion marriage that always scare me from even thinking about entering into it. I am optimistic that I will still fulfill my desire (which is marrying Muslim sister).

I always believe marriage is a LIFE CONTRACT where couple live in LOVE & HAPPINESS together till death separate them, that's why everybody has the qualities he/she want in a partner. Compromise can be make sometime to those qualities but at least such partner must be able to exhibit some other qualities. According to one Hadith (I can't remember the exact saying now but go somehow like this):
"A man must be able to LOVE his believing wife (Muslimah) even if one of her behaviour is bad, he will surely find some attitude of her very good" (Muslim).

What now happpen if she has more bad attitude than the good one, would the Love still be there. Even though, I tolerate a lot, there are some behaviour that easily turn me off and most of this behaviour is what I found among them.

If I am to marry somebody from other belief/religion, there will certainly be an agreement, of such person converting to Islam because it is really bad for husband and wife to be practising different religion (and I know some of my present friend around me that can easily convert without any hitches as they are not strong in their faith) BUT is the fear of bringing up my children in Islamic way that prompt my post (Man alone cannot teach his children religion and moral without the greater help from the wife but how can somebody that just convert and still learning teach children the right path).

Its all those thinking that is now occupying my mind, even though I am not in hurry of getting married for now but someone need to start thinking about the future as time wait for no one, as people keep reminding me of my Birthday in 2 days time in my office, the more concern about the future engrave my mind. But I surely believe Almighty Allah will grant me my heart desire and wishes.

To my Muslim brothers and sisters in Islam, I believe if we truly follow the teaching of Islam in which we claim we practice, we will surely become the best mankind on earth. Islam is already a complete and perfect religion is we (Muslims) that need to really work on our behaviour and attitude. We should try as much as possible to be a good example to other mankind. I cried inside sometimes when I see the behaviour some Muslims showcase in the society especially Muslimah (Muslim woman), some of such behaviour are not worth living with. The earlier we trace our step back to Almighty Allah the better for us.


Maa Salam.....

you keep talking of bad behaviors without mentioning what they are. So, because you think some things are bad about some Muslim ladies you know, you want us to just agree they are that way?

You dont know how very intersted in this I am

ossyme: @DEOLS ...AM REALLY SINCERELY BECOMING WIDAADIC about you and will like to know you better... you may even be a sister i know so much ... what line are you as in course of study and occupation........ you sound so firm and adorable

what does widaadic mean

I dont know why u continue wv ds. better not spoil ur chances as some other ladies might be interested in ur offer.

U are the type of man I wldnt marry as a first let alone a second wife. u will never get satisfied. Two yrs down d road, wife no.2 pregnant wv baby no.10 and u'r bak online searching..

ossyme: Like going for lunch in a nice eatery or inviting her over for lunch even at your private residence.

I don't think so.

About the courtesy, I must say that some people are just too emotional. You would be surprised at the amount of respect a guy demands from someone he is meeting for the first time. I wldn't know too much about that though.

But dont y'all think the manner of approach matters a lot? A not well said salam alaykum is enough sometimes to tell if you want to hear what else someone has to say..and that is just an example.

I just read the response above..... i have tod you that good housing is not the issue if you happen to accept my proposal ....abi until i start splashing money here on Nairaland b4 you feel me ........... and for unforseen circumstance that is in Allah's hand and we can both sit down and talk about it ................ though you may find me almost irresistible if you meet me but Allah knows best ......

this is d funniest response ever

I wasnt asking about all of those because OF YOU. I was only making what I naturally would ask anyone I know going into polygamy.

Polygamy should never be an easy thing and I dont want to make it easy for anyone. In fact, you should be scared of the possibility that you may not treat your wives equally. I get very annoyed when I see men marry wives they cannot take care of and their children can not be brought up in the most decent and Islamic environment due to the parents' selfish attitude.

Once again, I do not go for things that already belong to others. I make my own paths, my ways. I believe I am a unique creature of Allah, very allergic to noise and awkward situations.

Logicboy03: I cant be bothered with you. You engage in a crude form of "Anonyism" ( ) You dont follow the logic of what I am saying and then you project your confusion and straw men statements unto me.

so, because I mentioned that your statements defy logic, you have to claim same? smh for you..you berra change ur name b4 u embarrass urself the more. you can imagine pple expecting logical reasoning to an issue, you come along, they , u talk and they become

In summary, I am not talking about muslims, I am talking about the average nairaland muslim. This thread is by no means trying to apply itself to all muslims in the real world.

whatever the case might be, it just doesnt add up still. You would even need to compare how many Nairaland Muslims there are, with how many you find on each section with what their contributions have been before making a statement of how bankrupt anyone is or is not.

Furthermore, Maclatunji is a a tyrant and I gave you two options

a) Shut up when atheists/christians are complaining about him if you feel that it is none of your business

b) Tell the truth when asked about him

and I ask, who are you to give me options? You are in no position to tell me what I should or should not do. Deal with ur maclatunji defect. It is not mine or any other person except you's problem

No one is forcing you to fight maclatunji.

No one dares!!

Wizeboy: This thread has been interesting and educative so far - Jazak-Allah to all the contributors. May Almighty Allah continue to shower us knowledge and make us stead-fast on His path till the day of Judgement (Amin).

I will really want us to deliberate on cross-religion marriage (i.e. a Muslim marrying from another religion/belief).

Though Almighty Allah permit Muslims to marry other belief of which they were given books, as stated in Qur'an 5:5

Qur'an 5:5
Made lawful to you this day are At¬Tayyibât [all kinds of Halâl (lawful) foods, which Allâh has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits). The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals,) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal - money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girl-friends. And whosoever disbelieves in faith [i.e. in the Oneness of Allâh and in all the other Articles of Faith, i.e. His (Allâh's), Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al-Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.

Even though Almighty Allah permit such, we (Muslims) normally look for Muslimah (Muslim woman) to marry in order to uphold our belief (Especially religious woman as she might not want to lose her religious belief for anything in the world - which such decision is quite good).

It is always every Muslim brother's desire to marry Muslim sister for continuous understanding and promotion of their faith; the question now goes like this, what can be done or what are the ways in which someone can make cross-religion marriage works?

My question is based on what I have been experiencing along with other guys around me and it goes like this....

I am a guy who try as much as possible to be realistic and when it comes to marriage, I surely have some qualities I always look for in a woman (though the qualities are so few) but I found these qualities somehow scarce and rare among Muslimah (Muslim woman). I am not into any relationship for now but I have so many female friend (ordinary friend) around me which I always watch and study whether they can be the right person for me (I dont really believe in entering relationship with strangers... so, anytime I met a woman and we exchange number, we normally become friend without any attachment in order for me to see if such person have the qualities I want in a woman) BUT unfortunately I always find it funny that the qualities I want are always been found among the other belief while the Muslimah are not always close to my desire qualities (may be this is due to the environment that I live, study and work). I thought I am the only one experiencing things like this until last week when one of the friend complain bitterly about the same thing.

Even though I can compromise on some of my desire qualities, I still discovered that most of this Muslim girl lack the essential ingredient of a wife material compare to other girl in other belief/religion. And I am afraid, if this trend continue, I wouldn't have choice than to marry from other religion as prescribe by Almighty Allah. So, how can some make cross-religion marry work.

Please lets share our experience, eye-witness and knowledge about cross-religion marriage; the good, the bad and the best of it. Thank you for your contribution.

If you don't mention what these qualities are, we may not be able to make meaningful discussions on them.

ossyme: @ mac....iwo lomo, sha wa kan she...still waiting for deols response as regards the questions asked....

but dyt you look rather over ripe or something ....are you sure you are not hooked yet?

I answered you already. abi the post is hidden from ur view ni? lol


I almost thought you werent interested in answering my questions sef.

Dyt: Single and still searching

whistling

I tire for you o.


You are confusing all of em interested folks here. stop doing that nah

tbaba1234: 2 years is just hypothetical, Allah knows best

okay

BahPulo: salam my brothers and sisters
anything new around here

Wa alaykum salam sis. Only the second wife thing appears new.

olawalebabs: When will i come across a muslimah who will support polygamy in totality.

Why do you want to?

But some people's life dream is to marry married men. they like competition or just see it as avenue to fast money.

You need to have been made and finding them wouldnt be a problem.

congrats DYT. sometimes, you confuse pessin sef. today you are searching, tomorrow you have a child.

Al-ameen is a beautiful name.

We have a thread here on some Muslim names. From it, I found dunyana which means our world. I wish to give my baby girl that as a nickname. Another name I found is Bakhira which(I hope I am right) means Jewel.

Logicboy03: When you and your Quran condemn unbelievers, you expect me to take it on the chin but when it is your turn you keep malice and treat us atheist as lepers.


How many times does the Quran state that the unbeliever will suffer? How many times have atheists been abused as immoral fools by muslims? Do I keep malice against you guys? I dont take these things too seriously because I see the human before the religion, just like many christians here.

You guys better change this your hostile attitude

y
you keep talking of knowing what the Qur'an says whereas you will only understand it by reading the tafsir of it. Have you ever tried that?

Logicboy03: So what is your point about drinking? Do you think Boko Haram drink alcohol? Alcohol has nothing to do with God or love


I couldnt care less what your reasons are for coming to the sialm section. Point is, forgive and forget. Why would you keep malice with a screen name because he or she isnt muslim and he/she mocked your god?

You should have listened to me when I told you long ago that you need to change your name. it just doesn't suit you. Unfortunately you have a load of the likes of wiegraf telling you to keep it up. I mentioned those things to counter your point on suggesting that my love for Allah is what makes a terrorist. I was making it clear that only the love for him and his commands make me leave out alcohol drinking,e.t.c.

You cant even follow the steps. jeez

no. don't even start to think I am like you

The point was simple. Christians have ammended their stance and religion to meet modern standards and science- something that muslims never do. This is why christianity is accepted much more than Islam anywhere. Just look at atheist Japan- they dont believe in Jesus but they have church weddings because it is fun and nice. Which non-muslim will ever do a muslim wedding?

this is a good thing only to an atheist. God forbid that an atheist starts to like the kinda Muslim that I am. it is the pull them down syndrome or become-as-Iav-become kinda thing and that isn't going to happen with Islam and true Muslims

Who is asking you to fight Maclatunji? Why are you talking nonsense? My point is that you either keep quiet when peeps completely bash muslims together with their acceptance of Maclatunjis dictatorship or you tell the truth.

once again, the point I was making is, I wldnt waste my time helping your cause by talking when he wrongs you even though I disagree with his method. When did it become important that people get others's back on this forum?

As for being stubborn and being highly opinionanted, it has nothing to do with atheism. You just hate uneblievers and that is why you just project anything immoral or negative with atheism.

No. you are highly opinionated. You wouldn't give a thought to what others have to say. You only see those things in line with what you want to think. As a Muslim, this attitude would have to change. As an atheist, anything goes and that is the reason you would more likely be an atheist with your personality. gerrit?

What the hell are you on about? You muslims cant even decide what swimwear is haraam but you can agree on deeper and more complex philosophical questions?

Here we go again. You say there's intellectual bankruptcy among Muslims. Mind you, your topic differentiates an average Muslim from an average christian. The Muslim section isnt even a true representation of who Muslims generally are. But even if Nairaland could suffice as the avenue for the comparison, it would be very bias of you to conclude on how intelligent anyone is, by what their interests are on a section without giving a holistic approach to it.

acidtalk: That very same number is what so many mothers have misssed out and have misled their daughters. They tell them "look beautiful so that you can find a successful man and become successfull through him".
Some ladies believe the easiest and only way to become successful is to make money off a man.

I agree with you on that.
And kudos. I checked ur other threads

UncleJJ: When u marry ur wife and find out she"s a virgin...that a sign of wealth,prosperity and better life to come.

When ur virgin wife finfs out her husband is also a virgin,.thats just bad rep.

what do u mean bad rep? Is he doing it for God or for a reputation?

leatherman: there's only one person to loose it to: ur spouse!

exactly what I mean

check again. I re[plied u already @ossyme.

Logicboy03: By the way, how are you different from a terrorist (relating to the bold). You love Allah more than yourself? You would die for him?

That I love Allah is d reason I ddnt join my mates when they started drinking in 2007.
It is d reason I go to the Muslim section of Nl to learn and add d little I know when the need arises instead of doing other things I find to be fun.
I could go on and on, but I'm not interested in sounding like a saint esp when i'm not

But what happens when your Quran s inconsistent with modern science and facts?

Evolution? Secular societies being the most advanced and peaceful (much more than muslim countries)?

What happens when a kaffir tells you the truth?

Sometimes, you sound confused. In the need to make a point even when there is none to make, you forget what your argument originally was. Were u talking science or differentiating Muslims from Christians?

lol....tyrants never leave as long as the people support them.

Still, it doesnt change the fact that two muslims trolled my thread and yet, I was banned for complaining. Did these two muslims feel any remorse? Even christians defended me when I got banned.

Still, it doesnt change the fact that when I complain about maclatunji, all you guys keep quiet unless it is on your threads. The worst is when they deny that the dont see any of my rants against Maclatunji

Still, it doesnt change the fact that you guys are happy with intolerance. How can one calmly accept the divide between the two sections?

You are having a problem with how the world works I guess. You wont bully me into taking a fight wv d mod only because u want that. I have limited time to spend here and Your course would naturally not even be the last on my mind since your interests aren't mine nor do I support what you do.
Since you wouldn't change ur stance no matter what, it can be concluded that you are stubborn, highly opinionated and a reason you prolly would more conveniently be an atheist.

Who is talking about health or politics? I am talking about deep philosophical topics that have to do with religion. Humanism? Morality? Evolution of religion? etc!


Where are these questions on the islamic section.

I must have mentioned once to you something about preferences, goals, etc.
Not manny Muslims doubt what the Qur'an says about these things, bringing forth arguments on them would be unnecessary. We are more concerned about getting the tenets of Islam RIGHT!, something so obviously in dire need of attention.

ossyme: @deols, for your well-informed posts and strong naseeha in the islam section, i will respond to your enquiry. Married now for 4 yrs, wife gives her best and am grateful to Allah, reason is to produce more kids who will be juicy and not toxic assets to islam. Earnings...... Am comfortable and thank Allah copiously for this. My own request enquiry..... Are u married? What age bracket are u and can you ever be a mathna .Kindly delete my cell from your copied post above @mac... May i ask what you consider tendetious in my post as to pass the fatwa of unfairness above

I am not married and will never consider being any1's second wife. a personal choice though,I have nothing against pple engaged in it.

Sorry once again. The reason you want another wife is to have more children.
Have you considered good housing conditions.one that makes it possible to separate the male and female children and both wives.
Hav3 u also given a thought 2 d kinda school u would want them to attend.the type that cld make their number not just providing quantity but also quality.
You may also have given a thought to how they may live and get education independent of youin case of unforeseen cir umstances.

While all of these apply to every1 it comes to mind more when I hear someone talk of having more wives. I just wonder if much thoughts are given to the produ ts of d union or a case of someone giving in to desire.

1. Forgiveness- u cant insult m and expect a pat on ur back. And I love Allah more than I do me. While I wld forgive you,my demeanor would definitely change. I always take things issue by issue and I bet I wld relate wv u in relat1n wv ur post. In essence I mean i definitely wont pretend all is well and good when you derive joy in abusing the things I hold in high esteen but I wont transfer the aggresion to unrelating scenarios.
So ur statement here can not be generalised. You may have had some bad experiences but u should not expect too good ones either considering ur mannerism.

2. Consistency- to say differently from what the qur'an says is what many Muslims undwrstand to be a sin and u wld only need to lie or change ur stance when you think what you hold is deficient. Many Muslims believe in he Quran being complete and perfect and so would never need tomake the changes thatqould bring about inconsistency.

3. Intolerance-you all need to stop judging all of us by maclatunji's actions. Not every1 agrees wv him and I wld av thought u understood that ystrdy when even sir.swetnecta supported my claim on that. Whatever issues u av wv d moderation shld be directed to d right quarters.

4. Intellectual capacity- you are so wrong on that. I dont frequent this section to av known enough 2 make a comparison but I wld av expected that you know religion doesnt determine that. I just wld more likely direct my health questions to d right section or other non religious ones to d appropriate fora. You would at least av sen Muslims have things to say in he politics foreign affairs and family sections. maybe u need to look outside of here.not evry1 is too keen on making every matter religious.

[quote uthor=GaussS]the whole issue still boils down to respect, as regards ideology. Being a virgin is not all in all. I've seen some smog virgins and it shows that its just one criteria out of a whole others. what would be said of virgins who lack manners, cant take of themselves or cant cook?[/quote]Not being able 2 cook is not a sin while fornicating is.that is d difference.

Being a virgin in itself doesnt make a saint. Whom you eventually lose it with is what counts.

tbaba1234: I can do without most of the other traits to be honest, these three are the most important. I would not say, i am searching yet but i am hoping to be married in 2 years insha Allah. Nikkah is not on the way yet.

The other things on the list could include (none are compulsory):

i. She recites the Quran with proper tajweed,that way, my kids will learn as well.

ii. Every man wants a pretty wife


iii. Temperament: Not one too quick to anger.

I realise that, unless Allah wills, I will not have the perfect wife. That is why i have a top 3 requirement. Marriage is about learning to handle the imperfections of each other.

Wow! I believe you deserve evry good thing. Perfection is what no one shld demand from another. It mkes it easy for you to let go most of the time and happiness becomes a normal thing you share.
Am I right 2 think that the 2yrs span is so that you dont engage in courtship?

ossyme: @deols, since this is a public form issues raised in your enquiry above are better discussed privately and you will not find me hesitant if the channel for discussion is made available. May allah guide our thoughts and actions and save us from misguidance. My phone is .

Sorry. I am not interested in having a private discussion wv you.

ossyme: Am also conscious of the bias against polygamy even if such is only lampooned verbally but practised unofficially by all and sundry.

I am bias when it comes 2 polygamy,no apologies. I dont see it practised by all and sundry.where did u get ur data from?

No wonder gambling is haram. see how many ppl dey vex 4 hia

What nonsense pose is that sef. The husband's hand is also on someone else's waist.

Funny thread. I thought op was going to say her hands

My mother didnt need to teach me any of these. I just know.

No.1 is the One thing no one else but my mama made me realise and that even has nothing to do with what a man wants. If you have a hardworking mother, being hardworking just seems normal-a general principle to life.

Who did he offend oh!

And It came to my mind how u can be up there one moment and d nxt u'r down.

Be careful what u do up there.