₦airaland Forum

VickyyB:
Good for you!
Enjoy your advanced masturbatìon.

LMAO! #BUUUUURN!!!

Chiadanin:
This is my anthem:

I am a feminist and damn proud of it !! I think there's a misunderstanding on what a feminist means. Please listen to Bey's "flawless"- and that Nigerian (?) lady's definition.

I love love men. Well, in theory. Practically, there's some shades of grey there to my likes.

I love being a woman. I love dressing as such, acting as such (grace, elegance and strength, resilience, intelligence).

Yea, I get emotional and sensitive at times, but I also can display strength, get aggressive when it calls for it.

I also have no problem being submissive- man or woman, younger, older, different culture etc. I see that as a strength not weakness.

I am physician and a business woman and conduct myself professionally. I am also very playful, silly, get dirty, cook/clean etc.

The key is in knowing when to stand your ground and when to take a sit; speak or silence; stand out or blend in etc.

For me, I straddle the middle ground in most things life. Only rarely does situations call for extremes.

Acquire the personality of flexibility/compromise, teachable, humility. It goes a long ways in any relationship.


PS: Lean in by sheryl sandberg is a great book for this topic specifically in the work place.

You go girl! Do you! I'm not a feminist just an advocate of equality and humanity.

Adaeze003:
I feel that the whole bf/gf thingy is just miles apart from marriage... if you ask me to submit to a bf... ehm... lol! no thanks!

But to a husband sure... so that the Word wouldn't be blasphemed.

That said, I'm an equal rights activist... every guy or man in my life knows this. So! I get to decide what submission means to me and it's definitely not the dictionary meaning... i'm not gon be in a master-slave type relationship/marriage.

At the end of the day, all that matters to me is mutual love and respect... Emphasis on the mutual coz if you don't respect my person, you ain't worth my respect.

Submission means what it means it has no levels of justification or degrees. What I think you are talking about is compromise of which there is nothing wrong. Submission is about power. The submissive is slave to the master or inferior to the master. The unfortunate thing is some people think submission is compromise and vice versa when it's not. With compromise you still retain power.

VickyyB:
It seems you are not a Nigerian.

Nigerian most powerful feminist is happily married.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. She refused to bear her husband surname. She didn't hyphenate it sef.

No I'm not babe. And right now I'm thankful for my tribe because women have power and say - they are not expected to be submissive. In fact no man wants to marry a "yes girl" even his mother would be against the marriage.

CoachDX:
Let me help you rephrase better
I pity a woman who's too strong to be submissive to her man.
...because I might be receiving her wedding invite every new year.

Strong, influential women still married to strong men who can handle their power:

Hillary Clinton
Pumzile Ngcuka - UN secretary general and director of UN Women development
Queen Rania of Jordan - advocate for women empowerment

There are more but I don't feel like typing but I can if you require me...

VickyyB:
Christians are the worst hypocrite.

Don't be surprised, if the guy that called you a pagan by quoting a biblical verse, CHYKE WOMEN, LUST AFTER WOMEN AND SLEEP AROUND.

He's committing a hellish sin btw. Smh

LMAO!!! Oh I know my dear. They love standing on street corners spewing verses yet in the very same bible G himself says he cares not for those who stand on street corners professing their love for him or those who say long prayers. Yet you find holy holy Christians spewing prayer until they sweat and faint LOL. Those who pray a lot do so because they have a lot of sin and their guilt is eating away at them.

Evina:
Reread what?

You are the one that needs to re read.
OR
Refer to my last post before this one you quoted. That post is my final attempt at clarifying all misconceptions and if you still don't get it, then...

Reread the post where I was explaining what Vickky is saying. I kept on saying ACCORDING TO YOU @ no point did I compare being subordinate at work to being submissive at home YOU DID

Girl, you have confused yourself and you can't defend your assertions you keep running around in circles now you are saying

"I hope you know that not all
subordinates are submissive to their
superiors in the work place?"

Yet you started off with the ABSOLUTE claim that women are submissive to their superiors at work. YOU made the statement absolute now you are making it fluid

Evina:
To further prove how much you DieeDiee and Vicky have twisted and deliberately misinterpreted my views.

I never stated that to be a subordinate at work means you have to be a subordinate at home That is simply nonsensical.

What I stated was if a woman can submit to a class of men e.g their male superior, then why is it hard to submit to their man.

You gals have taken submission to be the same as subordinate.

I hope you know that not all subordinates are submissive to their superiors in the work place? I hope you also know that many bosses are sometimes submissive to their subordinates?

Please don't be overly concerned with shoving your opinion down peoples throats, so much so that you choose to not understand their perspective.

You are starting to contradict yourself...

Evina:
exactly what I thought.

So to be a subordinate means you are submissive right?

Okay, I rest my case. Hahahahaa.

No babe, please reread I even made bold I kept saying ACCORDING TO YOU

VickyyB:
The thing is that educated and widely travelled men don't clamour for submission.

Only primitive men does.
If you survey on pro-feminist(men that support feminism), 90% of them are atheist who are not beclouded by biblical sentiments.

There are men who are believers and don't have primitive minds. Eg, the Arab I mentioned I dated. He is a devout muslim wakes up @ 5am prays, our relationship didn't have any intimacy because he believed it's a sin. Off the top of my head I can think of 3 more muslim men like him. I have friends who are married to men that encourage them to be strong, fierce and go-gethers and they are not atheists.

Small men use the bible and tradition to advance their mission to deal with their low self-esteem by oppressing women.

CoachDX:
@Bolded, I just broke that in pieces.
More educated, widely traveled, great family etc.
Ofcourse, why would submission be difficult?

I pity the man who is too weak to handle himself in the presence of a woman who can handle her own

chibwike:
Lol...the argument have been heated up...i dnt even knw where to start from.

Just say submission is wrong LOL

Evina:
Not at all. You stated what you interpreted from what I attempted to communicate. And I repeat, your interpretation is wrong.

Your words below:

Evina:
[B] If you can submit to your boss, why can't you submit to your man?[/b]

If you claim submission is not for you, then don't submit to anyone.

What you have unwittingly told me about yourself is that there are men that you can submit to and if that "kind" of man is in a relationship with you, you would submit.

mikolo80:
yes you did

... The crickets are getting loud. Still waiting for your evidence ...

Evina:
You and Vicky should quit quoting me out of context.

Your interpretation of my post is devoid of sensible reasoning. My point is clear. Don't assume what I haven't stated.

Besides, is your argument based on men submitting to women if they expect submission from women? OR is it based on women not submitting to a man at all?

I only repeated what you said and applied it in reverse. It's called testing the hypothesis. Besides she was asking does it mean that applied in reverse. It was a question.

VickyyB:
I'm not even in my twenties. SMH

And you are ahead in promiscuity/Polygamy.

Lol

chibwike:
What are they submiting...is it assignment or classwork.

LMAO!!! *dead*

scribble:
Ok. So u married me. Fyi I'm still single. Wife can mean girlfriend

Ii never said unfaithful. That's not how I see it. I'm allowed to have female friends.

U started the name calling.

6 and 9 you still cheating on her and she still needs to find self love

Evina:
I really do not get what you are driving at

I also marvel at how have chosen to understand my post Especially the insinuations you perceive I have made.

Please rephrase your questions in simpler terms.

While you do that, in reference to your point that family and work shouldn't be compared, I totally disagree. I mean, if you as a woman can show respect and honor and can yield to the will of your male superior in the office even when you detest him, why can't you do same for a man you claim to love?

I mean, if you misinterprete submission for control and claim you are miss independent and will not be controlled by any man, then you have double standards if you let a man at the office "control" you. Your so called free will shouldn't have boundaries.

If I may interject babe? What Vickky is trying to say is:

1) You are comparing apples to oranges as a romantic relationship and a professional relationship are two different kinds of relationship with different dynamics therefore it is faulty to attempt to compare them, but

2) Using your reasoning, you still fall short because according to you if one can be subordinate to their boss they should be subordinate to their partner. Therefore Vickky is asking you does that mean MEN who have WOMEN as bosses should be subordinate to their wives at home because according to you again if you can be subordinate at work you should be subordinate at home with the one you love - this means using your reasoning men with female bosses should be submissive to their wives.

scribble:
U really are a silly nitwit.

Did u bother to know if unwashed single when I joined nairaland in 2009

Do u know if I was searching then.

Don't generalize and conclude when what you know is really so minute.

Nc nc nc... The name calling starts *sigh...why do people feel the need to stoop low*

I'm talking about the post where you are bragging about your side chick while you about to marry and went further to say you've been unfaithful for 7yrs and your wife knows and you will carry on being unfaithful. Recall?

mikolo80:
yes you did

Copy and paste please

ekenedegreat:
I am a christian and I believe in God and his book (bible) so there's no way I will argue with a pagan.
All I knw is dat, as a man I owe my woman LOVE while my woman owe me SUBMISSION according to my bible. and if I can't have mine I must make sure you don't get yours. That means the relationship is going to be like dat of cat and dog.

Dear Mr Christian

Kindly remind us what your precious bible says about judging people. Did Jesus not say let he who is not of sin cast the first stone? Who are you to be casting names at people? You do not know any of our religious affiliations nor our believes Oh, wait! My bad, sorry it's you! Saint Christian! We are so humbled by your extra holy presence... NOT!

Why did you even bother to read and reply

mikolo80:
marriage not a competition.there is no power no weakness. you are either on the same page or you forced yourselves on each other

Don't recall ever saying marriage is a competition

1one:
You see Miss DD, one of the reasons why I didn't quote you directly was because I didn't want to overly drag this issue with you, seeing that your mind is already set and fixated with so many thickened layers of disgust for the concept of submission, going through your other posts also gives me a sneak peek into your general train of thoughts and ideal bordering on a romantic relationship... So I can't even dare to attempt in making you see things from my own vantage point because you're already neck deep into "submission is shit".

You know how it is with the ostrich - the head in the sand-nobody can see me thing?.. . That's how I think you are-so I can't start convincing you about the bliss side of submission and why it's actually a key requisite for any woman who wants a successful relationship,... and even if I attempted to go through the painstakingly rigorous process of making you see that submission is a good thing, my positions would still be futile particularly because being that I'm a man, you may see them as jaundiced or biased opinions.

That said, I still respect your stand on submission and how it seems so gross to you, it would normally seem gross to any well articulated, educated and independent woman, especially when they've not really been able to throughly crystallize the concept of submission and knowing exactly what it means.

So let me not drag this any longer than I would want it... Sometimes I wish Nairaland had a voice chat feature, it would have been easier to fence thoughts and arguments better over voice than texts....But there's one thing I think you and your ilk should know being submissive is different from being subservient .

If it wouldn't be too big a deal for you...You may want to get the book "Love and Respect" by Ace Author - Emerson Eggerichs...It would give you a healthier, more embracing skew towards the concept of submission

Cheers.

My dear sir I do believe you just committed the fallacy termed straw man, that is attempting to strengthen a weak point by making me seem biased and slipping in subtle insults. Really? Comparing me to an ostrich is the best you can do? I gave you an opportunity to back yourself up and you failed.

Some advice: before reading Ace Whatever how about first purchasing a dictionary and looking up submissive, then you might actually learn that to be submissive IS to be subservient.

Midehi:
i am submissive cos i love him,notin else...i dnt kno why u guys are so daft dat submissive is nt controlling

Does he tell you what to wear? Where you can go? When you can go? How much money to spend? If not what is it you are submissive about?

mikolo80:
why you sef marry person wen you go de fight with.na by force?

I'm sorry I don't understand pidgin

Mondisweets:
if u honour and respect someone you will not abuse them, so what on earth are u talking about?

Copy and paste from dictionary:
sub- mis- sive
[suh b-mis-iv]
1.
2.
adjective
inclined or ready to submit;
unresistingly or humbly obedient:
"submissive servants."

Obedience implies one party has power the other doesn't. This distorted power relationship makes it easy for abuse to take place. Abuse never starts out physical, it always starts out soft. For example he'll tell you not to be friends with Ola because she's no good, you can't wear that dress it is too short, you can't go there because there will be men and he gets jealous because "he loves you"...

Empero1:
Being submissive is when offered opinion is better than yours ;

As far as I am concerned respect is earned not given . A leader is different from a ruler .

First part: no that's not submission it's called heeding wise counsel

Second part: agree fully

Mondisweets:
Women dont have a problem with being submissive to a man who respects and honours them. Thats how a healthy relationship normally works

No hun, that is how an abusive relationship starts. Ladies let us not forget abuse can be financial, psychological, sexual etc. As long as one person has power over you there is no health in the r/ship

kozaic:
Submission is reciprocal and dual...

Trust me i will and can never ever be submissive 2 a man who doesn't love me nd guess wat love is submission..

If you look up the word love, signs of love, characteristics etc. Submission is NEVER on the list

Just because a woman is independent and challenges a man doesn't mean she doesn't respect him but that she loves him and wants him to be the best version of himself.

1one:
Whatever you've been drinking... Please continue drinking it in drums and tank sizes!!!

Your post is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo on point!!!.. Ah Ah na only you waka come... Why you con carry better sense like this... Chaii.

I was going to reply the OP but after seeing your reply I would have been faulted for tataulogy or even telepathic plagiarism

Why do you need her to submit to you? Why is her CHOOSING to be with you instead of the million other men out there not enough show of her love? Why are you not satisfied with her sharing her life, her sorrows and joys, your sorrows and joys not enough? Why do you feel she shows her love only when she bends to your will?