₦airaland Forum

It all depends on the personality of the woman in question. A small-minded woman will sure do that. Same way a small-minded man would always subject his loyal wife - irrespective of her financial standing - to slavery, all in the name of erroneous interpretation of what a head of a family is.

Noble people are always proponents and practitioners of the live and let live principle. They know that loyalty, trust and respect are reciprocal. And that money is just a means to an end but never an end itself.

In truth, Emeka and his ex-wife were not of the same ethical leanings and that's exactly the root cause of their crumbled marriage. Neither of them achieved self-realization prior to entering into that marriage, but immediately they did, while on it already - the centre was unable to hold again, because of their personality differences.

First thing first; you really need to redefine your relationship with her. I mean, the very moment a relationship between two people - two people who aren't mutually loyal bound in marriage - reached to the level where one think that she owed the other servility rather than loyalty, to maintain, retain and sustain the relationship then, it's obviously time to reevaluate such a relationship.

There's a wise saying regardless of the level of sweetness in your relationship with your neighbour, never bring down the fence that demarcated your boundaries - but in your case you've since done that. You don't have to agree with me on this, but that's the connotation of your message - the fence is the salt of such a relationship and once its broken down, you directly or directly have a frenemy that pretends to be a friend.

Well, when you embrace my suggestions above, automatically you'll have an answer to your inquiry. Learn how to be a personality/organization with secret but not necessarily a secret personality/organization.. . This is one clear difference between noble people and petty people.

In fact, many things are wrong in your relationship with her. People who're loyal to each other/friends never compete with one another.

He was right though! The presidency could be from the office of the chef to that of the SGF be him himself, to the office of the biggest boss - the president. So, telling him that his suspension was announced by the presidency, of which he was part and parcel of at the point in time, couldn't mandatory be clear enough to him, especially when he had no premonition of it.

Kudos to the OP. Truly, conceit is God's gift to petty people. However, pettiness knows neither social class nor race. So, its not just an average black person thing - its only more prevalent among the blacks - there are equally some petty white people, they're in the minority in this regard though.

Meanwhile, neither the presence/absence of formal education nor wealth can make a petty person to act like a noble person. It has to do with attributes in particular and fundamental principles in general.

Fraud is worse than stealing.

Small-minded people goes for friendship while noble people goes for associateship. Notionally, they're the same thing but technically they aren't.

Actually, prior to entering into the marriage union with Tiwa, he either intentionally or unintentionally didn't understand the true meaning of loyalty. . . Just like many other people. Because of that singular mistake, he mistook submissiveness for servility and started to mete out acts of the latter to his loyal wife. And the wife, like every other self-willedly and financially emancipated woman called off his bluff. . . There and then, problem started.

He's a typical case of a domineering/possessive person that was resisted by his partner from subjecting her to enslavement. The very moment they failed in their evil machinations, you see them crying victims and start denigrating the literal victim, their partners. They - be them men or women - are only good in marring their partners.

The good thing now - citing one statement I read in this article attributed to him - is that he has realized his mistake, so he deserved a good second chance. The conceited ones among those that belong to this small-minded group never accept their shortcomings even after obvious defeat.

Freewill remains one of the greatest gift God gave to mankind. So, no sane, sound and honest person should ever subject another sane, sound and honest person under any form of control. Everyone should always be allowed to be in control of their opinions and actions, while the husband - in a case of marriage union like in this case - assumes the first between equals and do so conscientiously. . . And be overall in charge in pronouncements - with due consideration of available superior opinions of both parties - in any matter.

Assumption remains the mother of ignorance.

@OP

Believe you me, the actual problem you have is that you're yet to achieve self-realization.

Disunity is not the problem of Nigeria. By the way, Africa is nothing more than a geographical expression. Therefore, the problem Nigeria has is the same problem every human being/organization of petty personality has. . . Be it black or white in colour.

The problem is a fundamental one. It has to do with ethical principles. A people that mistakes perfidiousness for cleverness can never experienced progress/development. Opportunism is evil. Opportunity is different from opportunism.

A simple analogy of the difference between a developed nation and an underdeveloped one is; while the developed one exploits outsiders and shares with its citizenry an underdeveloped one exploits its own citizenry and of course lose it to the developed one. . . A case of a too clever by half being beating in his own game.

Notionally the minister of defence but literary, NSA.

Idaraobong5:
If dem tell you make you marry girl wey no get name, you no go gree.. Sorry bro.. You have lost her to a more buoyant guy... That is what happens when you get Married to a materialistic celebrity.

Nothing can be more appalling than reading/hearing a statement like yours. Come on! That someone is poor or lacks exposure doesn't automatically make such a person pious and godly. Knowledge/intelligence also doesn't automatically makes one conceited.

One's ethical leanings difines his attributes in particular and attitudes to an extension.

In summary, one's social stratum doesn't difines his ethical leanings.

Franklin's attitude - with regards to his marriage to Lilian - validated the principle which says that understanding is superior to knowing (knowingness).

Come on guy! Nobel people don't go to places were they're tolerated rather you can only find them at places where they're celebrated.

Let her be. I wager there's actually no problem between you too, literally, but sure there are ethical disparities between you too. She seemed to be the rational one in all these.

There's never a possible means two people that shares different ethical leanings can find a common ground to enjoy a marriage where one celebrates the other. At worst - where one party has no wherewithal to be independent after separation - they can only manage to live together in tolerance but without real loyalty. It takes a mutual loyalty from both parties involved in any relationship for a celebration status to occur in such a union.

Franklin is typical possessive person. . . Emotional entanglement is one tool they use to drain energy from anyone who's naive enough to allow them into their lives. Nagging their partner's or whining against them is the end result in any of their failed bids to subject one to servility and enslavement.

Your father was an extreme covetous person. Only little mind's/people compares themselves or their wards with others. Noble people don't compete with others instead they test their own boundaries.

Guy! Create your own life path and encrypt it. Don't allow anyone to cajole you into running another person's race. Be ambitious but never be greedy.

Little man's mentality.

yorhmienerd:
Is love really real?? let be realistic, the only man with love died 2000+ years ago and took it along with him, everything else is just a facade.

It always baffles me whenever I hear people like you and your ilks using your individuals negative attitudes as a yardstick for every other living human being.

Kindly note that there are still many people out there that has selfless love to offer others.

The very moment I begins to dole out my self-servility and self-enslavement acts towards her.

A people/organization that fails to give culture its true and logical meaning can never experience progress/advancement; culture, as far as I'm concerned is the way the majority of sane and sound among the living - at any point in time - chooses to live their lives and do their things, with due consideration to change which is constant.

Culture can never be how the dead did their things and with a prohibition on the living from altering the processes.

Kudos to the Emir. Truly, the conservative Muslims in the North are still living in the culture of the 13th century.

Like traditional cultures like dogmatic, credal and revealable religions.

That moment when you see people mix up fancy/lust for intimate/relationship love. Well, intimate love being an end rather than a means to an end, is always enough. It remains a summation of other values like fancy, good attitudes, high intellect, same religious worldview etc. It has no value/meaning without components. This means that it's a process, it takes time to manifest.

Now tell me that fancy isn't enough to sustain a healthy relationship and I'll agree with you. But sure fancy at first sight can lead to love in the end. . . When the other components are observed.

A frugal spender - a prudent person - is someone that spend only on needs and saves, yet without undermining the importance of selflessness - charity. But he's never a superficial or impulse spender.

However, a stingy person is a selfish personified. He neither has the empathy to spend on charity nor to conscientiously spend on his personal needs in particular and to the needs of his dependents in general. He's still a spender, anyway, it's just that he spends to his and his dependent needs grudgingly and minimally. . . But then, unexpected misfortunes always know how to zap resources from him.

Try out self-realization, and emancipations from; mental slavery, immortality, parochialness, conceit and poverty automatically you'll witness God in you, for you and with you - unlocking of God's call.

There's no better way to build your spiritual life other than embracing goodness and meting out same towards others, irrespective of their race, gender, social stratum, religious worldview, political ideology etc. . . Become a moralist in words and actions.

If you need any form of dogmatic, credal or revealable organization/book/church/mosque to do good, it simply means that you lack a good sense of morality.

WriteBoy:
Nah -- I don't think. I have a fairly well paying job which she knows about and she hasn't even started working sef. It couldn't have been that. She just had a stony heart.

Put both your third-eye and sixth-sense on.

One obvious difference between those who knows and understand (the articulate competents) and those who knows but understand nothing (the articulate incompetents) is that while the former creates their path and encrypt it the latter has no own-path, thus they only resorts to copying others, and stumbling is theirs always. Even when they manage to make a superficial success, they can never experienced inner happiness. . . Which is the main thing. Inner happiness breeds content.

More on the former, they never copy from others because they're original personified. At worst they only imitate from the best they can see. Also, they're always slow in changing their game plans because they are articulate competents.

@OP and your ilks, leave Wizkid alone, he's got nothing to copy from Davido.

Let me digress from your main question. Actually, the unpronounced reason why the girl decided to discard you, albeit indirectly without you knowing - forget about the pronounced 9 months ish - was that the misfortune you encountered and relayed to her made it easy for her to know your financial worth. You fell below her expected class - financially. Thank your stars.

In Mr Ibu's words; this lady too many o. Anyway, to each his own. HML to them.

Personally, I apportion blame on Sheriff simply because he came in late at the meeting. Although, his insistence on been addressed as a national chairman of the party at the meeting was in order.

Summarily, he was at fault. He's too egoistic.

Your loyalty lies to your job firstly, and then to anyone who has not given you reason to question their loyalty towards you.

Now, purge yourself of conceit and paranoia, once you do this, adopt the principle of living on the offensive side of life rather than on the defensive. Don't belong to their clique (because nothing good ever come out of such in the long run) but always accord each and everyone of them their earned individual respects and affections and call off each's bluff when they erred also. . . Adopt a no nonsense moralist stand.

It's obvious that you're a reserved person of the noble mien. And note that one's biggest open critic is always his greatest admirer in the secret. . . So, you shouldn't be weighed down by their ignoble gossip attitude.

Come on! The rule is, when you're still working your way to the top and yet to achieve status of being recognized by your first name or what you stand for, always look polished. However, after you have arrived, you can start to wear trashes if such suits you, yet you must retain, maintain and sustain that which you stand for/known for, else you're a goner.

Onyeoguego:
I prefer controversial type of popularity(it follows u to d grave)to sucess ,kindness,honest nd wat have u.

because once thy found somone who is more kind,honest e.t.c thy wil leav u nd go after him.



#i love been controversial, it gives me joy wen ppl misundstand me.

Word's failed you. No informed person would be happy to be intentionally addressed as controversial or a radical. A refined word in that regard is "maverick." And guess what, you can be kind, honest, successful and still maverick. You need to earn people's respect and loyalty to be influential.

For more information on how to be on the maverick lane and still being respected and feared/misunderstood because of your mysteriousness but not really dangerousness, consult me. It's obvious that you're desiring a larger than life/elusive status.

Popularity vs influence. Well, until been a celebrity automatically transform's one to an influential person, then popular celebrities without influence should keep to their lanes.

If you must be popular, make sure that your popularity emanated from your acts of kindness, honesty, intellect and success in your professional calling. . . This will earn you an influential status. Anything other than this will either make you a commoner or a controversial person. . . And, there's nothing worthy in being any of these.

Don't go pick quarrel with the woman. Dreams aren't deducible to waking life experiences.

However, cutting down a tree in dream means that someone in such a family will soon die or be killed. . . But then, death is inevitable. So, your family should be wary, this doesn't mean that the woman in question is going to be the architect of the death, after all, she might be the one to die.

But then, who knows, maybe you only had a nightmare. My friend put your mind off the nightmare and believe that nothing unplanned-naturally will happen to your family. Nightmares aren't dreams.