₦airaland Forum

ksbusari:
av been thinking of givin her another chance to mess up

No you're not.

You're just planning your revenge. In fact, you think about it everyday. How sweet it'd be to get back at her via any develish scheme you got going in you're head right now.

Don't deceive yourself that "...you're thinking of giving her another chance..."

CorGier:
Bros, the thing tire me. How are we even sure our personal persons ain't being ploughed senseless right now? I stole a guys girl a couple of days ago, baba all it took me was two days. God help us all.

There you go...mind at work!

LarryBeryl:
What's the guarantee that the next girl he dates won't be a cheat... Afterall he loves her, let him try to forgive her (if he could) and watch if she can change for better

It's who she is.

She is a tainted soul. He doesn't have to go through the laborious and emotionally tasking and exhausting process of "changing" her (come to think of it, do people truly change? At best, I believe we just get modified). Where is the time? In this brief existence of ours?

Let her work out her own salvation with fear and trembling as the Good Book says while the young man seeks for love again. The beautiful thing about life is that it always gives second chances to the prepared and discerning mind (don't believe that opportunity knocks but once crap).

Keshi5:
from your post you said she confessed not DAT u caught her , then forgive her..my own opinion dou.

And in your opinion that makes the deed "forgiveable"?, makes it less heinous? Less selfish?

Never forget that confession makes for a good alibi. At least it's working on you already given your post.

Keshi5:
from your post you said she confessed not DAT u caught her , then forgive her..my own opinion dou.

Can YOU forgive such?

Let's be more pragmatic and caring in our advice to folks who're hurting and need our help.

Nairaland is fraught with folks whose first retort on matters such as this is the trite, boring, tongue-in-cheek, hypocritical and naive "forgive him/her line". Something 99.99999% of those toeing this line will never do in their lifetime.

Homeboiy:
Forgive her but don't forget about it

Easy for you to say.

The demise of that relationship has been laid down already. The human mind is a curios thing. Watch how every time he sees her, he imagines the man she cheated with plunging and thrusting hard into her.

Watch how he wonders if she enjoyed it. Did she moan in ecstasy, gripped his bum tighter for deeper penetration, even compared his prowess to that of her guy.

In fact, it's over. The humanmind will ensure that. It takes one who's very well skilled and developed in mind control to overcome the images and nebulous thoughts that the mind manufactures when it really gets to work.

As for OP, what can I say. If I'm going to be brutally honest with you, I'd tell you to walk away. If you truly love her as you say, let her go. Both of you would be the better for it as one of the.most important ingredient in any relationship worth its salt is Trust and you, my friend, just lost it for your woman.

It can NEVER be the same. Stay at your own risk.

Jupxter:
Bros you dey resonate for the same frequency with me

Of course.

Women think they have a monopoly to playing the "suffer-quietly-with-a-deadly-plan" game.

Newsflash! Two can play that game.

Jupxter:
I believe a strong man needs a strong woman by his side, one that can make smart decisions that would not necessitate the presence of the husband to make such decisions, but then can they be trusted with power? This is the fear....We love financially independent ladies, i could swear, it makes life sweet, but then, they view things from a warfare posture, senseless and needless fights. OMG, can a man have some peace of mind i beg to wonder...I don't even know what to consider, the dependent or the not-so-dependent, men, the dependent have many times serious cognitive deficiency, it seems poverty blocks their mentral prowess. I think we guys need to be tolerant whatever love send s across to us, what i'll do is this, if i marry and chick start trouble, i'll run away, run far..I can never beat a woman, i don't want any woman to make me break that vow...

Until women understand that they're not in "competition" with their spouses, financially independent women will always have problems with their partners.

And until men realise that her financial.independence is a blessing to the relationship and not a curse, he'll see insurbodination at every turn.

Its about maturity, mutual respect, lotta compromise and the foundation of it all; Love. Any other thing is just a poor facsimile of the original.

Ladyhippolyta88:
It is society truth and men dominate but to me leadership capacity or capabilities has nothing to do with gender.If the movie is a religious one I won't watch.

Religious (laughs and scoffs!).

Far from it.

Just see it.

Jupxter:
Can i postulate? Many financially independent ladies date guys they earned more than at some point, and felt the need to be in control, so even when they move on to serious relationships, it has become enshrined in their doctrine to be in control and maintain the upper hand. Even when equality is given, it's never enough for thei unsatisfied souls that crave for more than absolute control over a man, the end product is lack of desire for financially independent women, but then they find men who crave for fianncial gain, marry these kinds and then use their financial prowess to manipulate them as they see,

but what happens when the guy hammers?

That is when you start hearing stories peddled about by the disgruntled lady about how "...I made him who he is today, loved him, took care of him, now he can afford to insult me and cheat on me because e don get money, the ungrateful thing...men are so useless...bla...bla...bla..."

What she failed to realise is that the chap took all her nonsense cos he had no choice. It was either submit or starve. But he had his plans; to leave her proud, overbearing, condescending and proud ass once he makes it.

Now e don hammer and the rest as they say is history...including her overbearing ass!

funmisticqueen:
nope it simply means your sisters' husbands have learned to swallow bullshit in the name of marriage. It is simple human nature to behave like a boss once the opportunity shows itself.

I hope you realise that given this post of yours you're lending credence to the view of the OP you quoted relative to the flagrant display of ego by financially comfortable females.

Ladyhippolyta88:
That is not true if it was Nigeria would be in a better place.

This isn't about Nigeria, politics or whatever. It is just a universal truth discerned over centuries of analysing power play between men and women.

As an aside, I recommended you see a movie. It's a nice one truly and is not what you may be surmising its all about. I bet you'll smile when you discern why I asked you to see the movie (hopefully).

greiboy:
Bro I agree with you on this

The problem is how most ladies will react if they earn just as much or more than their bf/husband?

The main problem is the way ladies tag financial independence with greater control in relationship. it is definitely not the same thing.

From my experience it is extremely difficult to find a humble wealthy woman. In fact, that term is an oxymoron.

Jupxter:
Assertive is a strong word and may be considered too strong in some relationships, how about plain boldness...? While these qualities you listedare bae, there's a thin line between being independent, confident, emotionally stable,self sufficient and being overbearing...which is why it's a drag for most average guy.Trust me, many guys don't mind a lady that earns more, but will the guy have his sanity intact, can a lady acquire so much and retain a healthy sense of self without using the other party as a channel to vent into? I guess you know the obvious answer....



Many guys exist that don't mind if a lady earns ten times her pay, but then it puts pressure on decision making that would have been easir if the lady earned lesser. i.e. a financially independent lady sees and feels she can move on with nothing to lose, and it influences how she reaches decisions, hence, is always more on the look out for herself and her interest in a relationship rather than the common good of both individuals. There's toomuch individualism in many relationships from the comments i've red so far this year, and to me, nothing kills a relationship faster than excessive individualism.



Supersystems...

So on point.

Witnessed countless times where what you expounded on comes to the fore. Got friends dying in their 'wealthy' Wedlock's (read: Husband working in Chevron, Wife operating as Country Sales manager for a vibrant firm etc).

I shiiit you not, I could give examples taya. One was so bad, I had to cough up some money from my meagre earnings to pay up money forcefully collected from a service provider for a service that the hussy took a stand against. The said money was paid by the wifey as she told him that she doesn't need his approval nor money to effect the change she needed in the family as she can afford to pay for it herself. It wasn't a small thing o, no be as I dey talk am here. House nearly scatta pata pata. I pleaded with both parties especially the lady, to just let go just this once, lai lai, she nor gree!

Most women, like I reiterated before make poor leaders relative to their male counterparts. That emotional aspect of their lives which funny enough makes them endearing to their kids and the society in general is the major Achilles heel to their quest for exemplary leadership and astute decision making.

Safiaaa:
I actually cant be bothered to argue. I created this out of boredom. So I have nothing left to say.

Why mess up a nice piece by this post of yours.

Do you known the import of what you just said? It reads like you're a pained commentator who's not an unbiased observer but an active and losing participant.

pcguru1:
When you say led what do you mean ? You can't work under a female boss professionally ? If so I don't so see any problem with that, if one is good at their job their sex is irrelevant however I also disagree like I said not all women, there are some good women who lead and also bring out the best in you. Not all women are some power drunk, but good number can be though. Where I work the ladies are chilled, though some power wielding announcer still exist there too

Women do not know how to weild 'power'. Men fare better in this respect.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Everybody has a choice.As for me my surname stays the highest I can do is to add his if he wants it.But that surname that goes well with my name is going nowhere it stays even after marriage.

Have you seen this movie "The Antichrist"?

Not the 2009 movie but the 1974 movie. Do watch it and you'd understand why I asked you to.

Divay22:
Says who?

Their 'egos'.

Divay22:
2018 gonna be lite

Collaboration awaiting

Not gon' happen!

Berlyn1:
Let him also strangle her from his back ....useless man


see beautiful wife that God gave him ....all this slay marriage sef what else do we expect from them ? Slay king and a slay queen phewww

Slay King slew Slay Queen.

Say that very fast. I think I just came up with a tongue twister right there.

Purebeerry:
He is obsessed with her and an extremely jealous lover, maybe he caught her cheating, I fear obsessive lovers, they can kill you.

Word!

Definitely a crime of passion.

Larrey:
She's wonderfully and beautifully made by God

True Dat!

Bizibi:
this is too true to believe, I thought the merc Benz value don't drop at a faster rate over there....... You just awaken the hope in me about getting this ride.

This is the bane of luxuxru cars, they have a very steep depreciation curve. Not just restricted to Mercedes Benz alone. The reason for this is another topic on its own.

Evaberry:
parents are so scary

Like yours...maybe?

CoolAmbience:
There are way more principled women than her in Nigeria.

Such sweeping generalization isn't exactly fair on our women.

QED IV

reminiscing:
I totally agree with her action. Women are no longer safe in this part of the world.... I normally use the "dear" word when I chat with friends so I did this with a senior colleague of fine and he had been inviting me to his house. When I eventually went there, I was decently dressed as usual but he tried forcefully kissing me and I was like "what" He said I usually call him "dear" so he feels I am in love with him.
Since that day, I just know most guys are not normal in this part of the world. Women, ladies and girls should be very careful and shouldn't give chance to the slightest means of molestation

BS

nkwuocha:
Level of tolerance!
People have various level of tolerence .What party A can tolerate, party B may not tolerate.

QED III

UBGG:
A man calls you 'sweetie' mainly to mentally torture you until you resign and you actually break down and resign?

Some of us are labelled 'Ashawo' for daring to be head of a small unit, we do our freaking job still and you're frantic over freaking sweetie?!

QED II

EsotericMonk:
During my housemanship, I had a consultant who usually called me "love", initially I was uncomfortable, but on asking my seniors, I got to realise that it was her nature to be sweet and kindhearted, and she reserved such names for junior docs under her who were diligent and trustworthy.
Bottom line: The context is what really matters

QED

If this is going to make proper sense, a dedicated piece of land modified for this activity should be procured and developed (if not done already) else, the popos have just being given another means of frustrating the lives of comfortable folks who engage in this via claiming the "illegality" of such an activity.

InternetGenius:
A Nairalander posted how his tecno phones don't work in USA with proof of screenshots.

https://www.nairaland.com/4237756/all-techno-phones-not-working

Now see Instant Solutions

Solution 1: Roaming with your MTN and Glo line while travelling abroad will ensure you are always reachable even if you are thousands of miles alway from home.

Two mobile phone network operators in different countries enter into a contract called a roaming agreement. This makes them roaming partners' so for example, MTN Nigeria customers can make and receive calls, send and receive SMS, browse the internet, send and receive emails or any other service when applicable, in the UK using Vodafone.
Vodafone UK customers can do the same in Nigeria.

As an MTN or Glo customer using either a prepaid or postpaid line, your phone is already set up to be used abroad.
Roaming service is available by default on your MTN line. There is no monthly fee, no connection fee and no-deposit required before you can roam. However, the cost of making and receiving voice calls or sending SMS while roaming abroad depends on the country you are visting.

Solution 2: It might also be a frequency issue. The phone is made for Nigerian frequency of 900/180 MHz spectrum while in the US, they use 850 MHZ and 1900 MHZ in Canada. You can always check your frequency via https://www.frequencycheck.com/ or you can also check if your network works here via https://willmyphonework.net/

Cc; lalasticlala, Mynd44

Source: https://prexblog.com/tecno-phones-are-not-working-in-usa-see-instant-solution/

When you write to educate, break down your facts like you would to a 10 year old. This way, people will understand and appreciate your piece better.

Regards