₦airaland Forum

JONNYSPUTE:
Oga forget all this talk u re hearing here,Ur mum knows what she is saying,although she is not God. Don't tell me u ve not slept with a woman before,cause I know u re not a virgin. What your mum is saying is right,proof her wrong if you re a man. Most of u guys that claim born again are too hypocritical, u ve bn fucking her her and now your mum wants result,u just remembered ur church. Ur mum doesn't even trust u. So prove her right by impregnating her. Swear you ve not had sex with the so called fiancee before. Stop deceiving yourself.

Opari

Aquariann:
Let her go and marry the spirit then.



Those LTR didn't work out for a reason. Probably she turned them down when they were ready but she wasn't. Or felt someone better would come along you know, based on the hypergamous nature of women.



This is crap. So many people out there regret the sham called marriage today. Besides, if she can't be happy and find fulfilment outside marriage, she'll never find it within marriage. And at her age, she'll only be filled with regret s of the many suitors she turned down in the past because she had to settle with someone 3 years younger than her. Remember hypergamy I mentioned earlier? NO woman desires to marry down.


He's only seeing what she wants him to see i.e a born again Christian. Secondary virgin. I wonder at which point she decided to find her morals again.



You're saying crap again. Yes age matters when it comes to marriage. Any woman who desires to marry should do so in her most fertile years. And yes, the Op would do well to marry a nubile who would not only be able to pair bond with him while also looking up to him for direction, but would appreciate the little romantic gestures he makes every now and then. A 39 years old woman carries a whole lot of baggage with her having seen it all.

If she wants a good man, let her go back to her 20s and find all the men she turned down.

Allow me to comment some more.

I've never seen a people as hypocritical to the extent it's nauseating as the people that make up this forum especially folks in the romance section. If the folks that make up NL is all you nation has to offer then, Nigeria is doomed!

Of course, this assertion of mine does not mean everybody but I dare say the majority. Just read across all the rooms, dolts, knuckleheads and bleary-eyed commentators everywhere!

Aquariann:
Let her go and marry the spirit then.



Those LTR didn't work out for a reason. Probably she turned them down when they were ready but she wasn't. Or felt someone better would come along you know, based on the hypergamous nature of women.



This is crap. So many people out there regret the sham called marriage today. Besides, if she can't be happy and find fulfilment outside marriage, she'll never find it within marriage. And at her age, she'll only be filled with regret s of the many suitors she turned down in the past because she had to settle with someone 3 years younger than her. Remember hypergamy I mentioned earlier? NO woman desires to marry down.


He's only seeing what she wants him to see i.e a born again Christian. Secondary virgin. I wonder at which point she decided to find her morals again.



You're saying crap again. Yes age matters when it comes to marriage. Any woman who desires to marry should do so in her most fertile years. And yes, the Op would do well to marry a nubile who would not only be able to pair bond with him while also looking up to him for direction, but would appreciate the little romantic gestures he makes every now and then. A 39 years old woman carries a whole lot of baggage with her having seen it all.

If she wants a good man, let her go back to her 20s and find all the men she turned down.

You wicked sha!

such an objective albeit cold and dispassionate analysis of the situation. This is what I find lacking in advice given to people in this forum. Comments are usually infused with so much subjective tones; never objective, realistic and based on facts as presented by he who needs advise. If they don't mention God in every sentence while advising the OP, they are usually telling him to "sit down and have a talk with her/him bla bla bla..." when it is very glaring they will never do such if they were to trade places with the OP.

what a forum!

Rosarie:
in all of this i blame you.first when u know ur kind of home u should not ve have allowed them know her true age.why did ur mom wait till her intro day befre calling a meeting.as a man why did you not stand your ground.to the extent of ur mom calling ur fiancee.u dnt know d fire u are allowing to ignite.due to desperation ur girl will dance to ur mom's tune.but d minute she will marry she will give ur mom a long rope becos of what ur mom is doing to her now.she will treat ur family like a plague.and u will not know when u will unconsiously dance to her tune.then any decision u make to side ur family she will say u re not man enough.man up and drop sentiments or mommy's boy.and stand by ur wife.God is d giver of kids.nor b people they marry cripple.except u dnt belive in ur union.ur mom should not dictate for u

spot on!

imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.

Story could've have gone both ways with the lady still having same issue without getting pregnant before marriage, so, in my opinion the story is not a relevant index to the matter at hand.

Why?

simply because you can't prove that her decision to get pregnant before the wedding caused all the gynaecology wahala.

Lexusgs430:
The very important matter of her been able to conceive and have a safe delivery, is for the benefit of all parties involved.......

After marriage, you realise she is barren..... This same you, would open a thread complaining.....

After marriage, your wife also realises that your condensed milk is so weak, you cannot impregnate anything.... She would also be complaining......

Have you ever put your garden fork in her garden? Or tasted her mangoes?

NB: Get her pregnant, head to a registry and mark your union....... After all is said and done, change your place of worship (its the same God)......

Only pragmatic advice I've read thus far.

Nairaland and it's cast of hypocritical counselors!

[quote author=majekdom2 post=64081427]there is only one blokos.... ONE that has the access to the heart of a woman. Most marriages are in trouble these days because the blokos in the marriage isnt the one[/quote

Hehehehe...

wickyyolo:
He is indirectly saying Oyedepo is fake.

This man is digging his own grave

says who?

You?!

desreek9:
Ladies, do not marry men that stay abroad if u cant stay without sex, dont try it, he may be fuvking someone over there yes but it is your reputation that will be tainted if you try it.

Don't marry a man that stays abroad if he is not ready to take you along immediately

QED

Nonnyflex:
that's how it is in cars until the ignition is on.... Let's say that's your lesson for the new year

Touche!

Nonnyflex:
It's really funny that I just went to confirm from mine that I have been driving for more than a year.. I didn't even know that not only does it have an arrow but it was spelt out yet I never noticed it before now

Hmmm...na wao! your fuel tank empty reach ground o! na make the needle cut remain. Fuel scarcity sha...!

Readonee35L:
Why did you have to say something is not right.?

If because of a logo . Out of all the amg badges on this car, even after he provided picture of the hand crafted amg engine . You still think it's not right.... then I don't even know what to say to you.

Don't be a doubting Thomas.

He is a car sales man not a mechanic.
He has provided more than enough information. Do you think everyone knows where a minor logo should be or not.
Even a Mercedes Benz dealership doesn't know the weight of each screws in the ride.

In Nigeria business circles, being a doubting Thomas will save you a lot of heartache. unfortunate but true.

Gerrard59:
When the vast majority start sleeping with fellow women, the bolded will make sense. It's the hypocrisy most (Anti-slut shamers) are against. These ladies don't sleep with fellow women, rather with men!

And I put it to you that when the resistance of one who is tempted is halfhearted due to an inner crave for the subject of the temptation for whatever nebulous reason(s), he/she no longer has a case.

I've come to understand that a lot of our females "need" "want" and "crave" what the so called shameless men are offering them due to their inordinate crave for the "good life" (a lifestyle they have made up in their warped sense of reasoning) hence give in easily to entreaties from the male folk who in a traitorous move start calling them ashewos. Why are ladies so blind?

Let them take a united and determined stand against oloshoism (be it corporate, runsgal or whatever) and watch the men put away their hard-ons in shame or consider the alternative-sticking it into the ass of a fellow man which a lot of men would balk at.

The truth is the females are all too willing accomplices in this dance of shame. Remember it takes two to tango.

Once it is known that your dignity, views, ideologies or whatever has a price, you lose respect from the perspective of he that pays for it. This is exactly the case why our men do not respect our women. They have allowed themselves to be commoditized.

lefulefu:
haba bros! These are everyday type of babes we see all the time na .anyway thank God i always have that third eye to know a babe wey dey do drugs even if she do am in secret.Like my lodge then as a student there was this soft spoken urhobo girl who was my next door neighbour. Anytime i discuss with her in the evenings i always notice her eyes turn to half past four eyes hence that's the time i suspect the babe to dey do weed.so i wasnt surprised when i came upon her and i caught her smoking weed.u will always know a drug addict even if he/she hide am from u.Just by lookin at a person i can tell who is a drug addict or not.

Ehen, now you understand

What I was trying to tell you is that the ladies guilty of all these are "everyday" girls. There is no neon sign announcing their deleterious proclivities. They are just the regular girls you meet everyday till you see them in their elements, on their true colour.

Then, shall ye be convinced.

Silumi:
Have you personally seen the lady in question prostituting her self.? Please correct me if I am wrong in assuming that the man bashing her just has so much resentment and hate in him.he aired his opinion of her I am here applauding her reply she is learned I am an academia I love that she has all those degrees I love that she married a star who loves her please shoot me for being happy for the couple.i won't buy into this social media hate hating people by just listening to all the bad things said about them.or do you have proof of her ashawo work.si yes people will hate!!! And even if she is an ashawo as he has put it everywhere on social media has it Led to repentance ...what has it achieved Your believing it or my believing it in no way affect her common now she doesn't even know the both of us instead of reminiscing and meditating on people's news can we all just make our lives our business and do not wrong to anyone.

You see, my riposte to your comment was not about whether she's guilty or not. I was commenting on life's philosophies and hownit relates to the scenario playing out.

Again, all the degrees in the world will not cleanse a tainted soul (some of the worst dictators or terrorists are very learned with Yale degrees and doctorates to their names, how about our thieving politicians? Check out their profiles and you'd be astounded how supposedly "learned" they are).

Her replies to her accuser(s) is not in my opinion, mature enough. If anything, it is childish and she just added more gasoline to the fire. Best she had remained mute.

Wish them the best.

lefulefu:
hmmm na wa na wa.anyway no right thinking man would want to get involved with an actress or any lady in showbiz.i can admire them from a distance oo but it will be disastrous for any man getting involved with them....except u want to die early sha.

E be like say you no understand wetin I dey yarn o!

Showbiz ke? Who mention showbiz!

I dey talk of that fine lawyer, dat cute usher when dey work for Zenith bank, that lady wen dey stay for dat detached duplex for the next street with 4 children, dat woman wen dey work for Chevron (d one wen.dey use that metallic grey GL Mercedes Benz), that girl wen dey study accounting for Covenant, d MTN call centre girl, dat receptionist for that insurance company for Adeola Odeku, dat.....

You don understand now abi?

Silumi:
Correct Woman.they will always hate...let them.ashawo or not aw is it anybody's business.

Au contraire, it is everyone's business.

The biggest lie we tell ourselves is the good 'ole "I don't give a damn about what anybody thinks or says about me as long as I'm happy with myself bla...bla...bla"

Deep down we all care about how we are perceived by society (good or bad), in fact, voicing the above statement alone is a subconscious testament that we do care about what people think about and of us. If this isn't so, the term 'Reputation" would be meaningless. There are those that will do anything to maintain their reputation, good or bad.

Man is a social.animal. He cannot live in isolation. You cannot live in isolation. He needs fellowship to thrive, to amount to something, to feel for lack of a better term complete.

All the oyibo I dey speak since na to just tok one thing; Live today like you'd account for it tomorrow. Be careful of the decisions and choices you make now as they make come to bite you in the ass later.

pocohantas:
Oga,keep your manhood holy for your wife, so she doesn't end up mocked like Annie.

Except men would start caressing and entering each other's butt.
I don't see how female chastity can be effectively achieved without that of their male counterparts.

Unfortunately, the gentleman is right.

There are certain things that society has come to accept. They may be skewed ideologies intrinsically, but it is what it is. Really wish things could change you know...kill the 'ole double standard thing but...

Life ain't fair.

lefulefu:
they sniff cocaine like tonto dike?

Bro, if I tell you what I've seen, been privy to courtesy of my job, you nor go believe.

The seemingly innocent looking ones are the most guilty! Fear these girls o! Fear them.

Na crack cocaine? codeine don reign pass! Na heroine? If you see how wasted they get in gigs (especially the soirées), you'd be shocked. At this rate, they outshine the fellas sef!

The whole Lagos is filled with cheating wives, pothead cute and successful corporate runsgals, junkie pastor daughters, bi and homo epitome of beauty (that's the sad part, these girls are so beautiful and outgoing) and whatnot.

It breaks my heart to see our sisters, aunts, nieces, cousins, friends and momas like this.

safarigirl:
you have to take drugs or alcohol to take that much dick in this life.

Hahahhahaha....hahahahaha...Jesus! Hahahaha...hehehe..lawd!

humilitypays:
Forget it, most Nigerian celebrities who married after they became famous married corporate hoes.

Do you want to know more about Nigerian big chicks Role with some big guys and guys into big time drug pushing or be close to a bling bling Naija politician and your respect for most pretty ladies in Nigeria will diminish.

Go to USA, our ladies sleep around like fowl just because of financial freedom and civilisation forgetting their root.

Its a shame ladies now want to be like men even in sleeping around with rich dudes and still form slay queens.

So don't dispute the fact that she maybe guilty as accused and not all hoes in Naija stand on the road, some roll via contact and coding

Word!

My job confirms all you've said. You need to check out the females in a lot of gigs I anchor. Well spoken, mannered, beautiful as ? dressed to kill but...

They all share one thing in common...high class, corporate call-girls (yes, a lot of them hold down well paying jobs). Lest I forget, a lot of them are also drug addicts!

Sighs... God help us.

Bizibi:
The guy that made the hoe statement hit her in the heart,cmon hoes can have a bsc,MSC and MBA later in life.....her response shows she was a hoe but it is none of my biz.her life,her business.

The husband looks like a hoe customer too,well it is still none of my biz.

Talk about birds of a feather.

booqee:
Childish response..smh

Ok even if she's a former hoe..and so what? He married her..it's oritsefemi's headache to deal with. People should learn to mind their business. Oritsefemi also brought it on himself by ranting unnecessarily about his wedding.

Btw, it has become disgusting for men to want to insult women especially on social media and start by calling her olosho, ashawo, prostitute etc when they have nothing else to say to you..they call you a hoe. Even here on nairaland. That nonsense has to stop! Not every woman is automatically a hoe. Stop slutshaming!

I have a question please.

What is the meaning of "slutshaming"?

When it comes to serious business, everyone does what he has to do to protect his/her own interests.

All affiliations whatsoever (familial, societal, creed, philosophical, religious, national, etc) is often relegated to the back burner. Profits and situations that engender it comes first. Thus, if hosting a website abroad ensures this, by all means host away.

FOLYKAZE:
Is Buhari not paying tax too? He earns salary after tax has been deducted.

And where is the evidence that Yusuf medical bill is offset from tax money? You guys just real out garbage from your anu just to prove a point.

On the principle of equity, the Church and Mosque is a business avenue which must be taxed. In UK, churches and religion centres are been taxed. This is because most full term pastors and bishops are been paid salary. The church earn revenue from every possible means. Either by selling religion items or offering money for special prayers. All these are no different from corporate organizations that render services or Industries that sells manufactured products which are taxed.

The Church property like every other Business properties should be taxed. The Sales revenue and Salaries of Pastors should be taxed too. There should no exception because both Church and it operators earn Moneypenny. There is money flow that is taxable. These pastors or whatever they tag themselves should pay income tax just like every person. And the church which makes money from the congregation should also pay tax just like every other business or institution

QED.

gabolak:
What will you say if this happened in a marriage? let's say you mistakingly stumbled on dirty stuffs on your wife's phone & along the lines, you are able to force her into confession. After that she swore to an oath right in the presence of her relatives that such won't happen again. will you still advise that the man go for a divorce?

(Laughs and shakes head).

Like I said, the circumstance does not make the man but reveals the man to his true self. Dirty stuff on your wife's phone? Confession in presence of relatives?

Understand this, what could have birthed the dirty stuff on your wife's phone (note that you didn't explain what the "dirty stuff" was. Was it porn, nude pictures, pictures of sexual activity etc)? While I do not have the answer to that, I can tell you for free that once the mind hold on to an idea, is tuned towards the reception of stimulus from a predetermined source, believes in an ideology, then, it is just a matter of time before reliving it, before seeking release. And you know what? The universe operates in a weird way as it will do all in its power to make sure the mind is presented with an.opportunity to realise its cravings, act out its yearnings whether good or bad. The cosmos is amoral.

Now, your example is so incomplete for proper analysis but judging from what you said, if you've the fortitude and presence of mind to forgive her then do, but know that until a craving is sated even a confession before popes won't hold back a mind bent on satisfying that which it hungers for.

Should you divorce her? Your call as your info is not explicit enough.

Premiumwriter:
I've visited a lot of Nigerian blogs and trust me few are worth going through. There are lots of things Nigerian bloggers do that often discredit them even if their ideas are original
www.nairaland.com/attachments/6477656_blogpic_pnga702bcd9f0d1ed3007f0713dfdc01945
1. Unfocused write up
This is one problem I've discovered with most bloggers and believe me as a writer I've come across many. They want to include almost everything about a topic into one particular post and then give it a title that focuses on just one aspect. Example a blog with a title like ' admission list for bsu' any reader that clicks through this type of title is interested in seeing the admission list for bsu, not the school history or how to apply for the school post utme.

2. Long post
Another mistake that makes your blog unprofessional is creating long posts. Most bloggers want to impress readers with long posts but actually it's a huge turn off. Let's be sincere, do you remember the last time you read a whole page of Wikipedia from the beginning to the end? Most of us don't even like opening Wikipedia nowadays because the posts are too long. The same way with your posts- readers will just scroll through it and hit the back button if it is too long. Keep your posts as short and straightforward as possible and you'll have readers moving from one page to the other on your blog

3. Your English doesn't matter as much as you think
Trust me on this one. Most Indian blogs with loads of "RIP english" are way more informative and professional than most Nigerian blogs. Why? Because they always keep their posts as short, clear and informative as possible, no winding sentences just to impress their readers.

4. Ads
I won't even talk much about this. Keep feeling your blog with useless ads and tricking your visitors to click on ads - at the end you'll end up with just a penny while advertisers ends up with the huge pile.

There are many more points that I could have added to this post but I'll leave you with this. Readers please add yours so that bloggers can learn what you like or don't want so that they can improve.

With respect to 2 & 3 I beg to differ!

In fact, I don't need to explain as obviously you'd think my post "too long" and detailed. And where do you get off generalising about Wikipedia saying "lots of us". Who is us? Speak for yourself as judging from your write-up, I don't think your blog (if you're a blogger) would fare any better than the ones you're currently reviewing.

godfrey01:
I work with an ICT company, as a technical staff. we train students when it comes to the use of computer softwares. Also we are into computer maintenance.

But there is a bad side of it, I don't get paid on time. and apart from that, the pay is not much despite the huge income that comes into the company from training and repairs of computers and printers. I receive five figure as salary and its not able to cater for my monthly needs. The worst part of it is that I was not given xmas holiday despite the fact that the school is on holiday. and what pains me most I have not been paid December salary and it has made the christmas celebration very bad for me. I think I am just being used to build the organisatiion with low return on my side.

I have thought of quitting the job several times, but another thought comes to me not to. Please niaralanders, I can't keep this decision to my self alone and I need your advice. If you were In my shoes, what will you do?

Nigerian employers are specialist at 5 figure salaries and even then, they never come on time.

The most popular in this cadre is the "Almighty 50,000". They just love that figure!

pcguru1:
I don't agree with this, women hold power of position and some are president and they are managing just fine I think its an individual thing there are power hungry guys who let it get it to their head also.

There's a difference between "holding power" and "wielding power".

Again, there are exceptions but it just goes to prove the rule as there are few.

prince3009:
The girl is sincere. She deserves your forgiveness

Such naïveté!

lacruz12:
Continue with that relationship at the detriment of your life. Forget the drama of voluntarily confessing her sin to you, it clearly showed her dignity could easily be bought. Give her a couple of days and the same guy will still fvck her again..... Cheats will always devise other means to cheat more. Their mood swings corrode pass acid

Once a man has fetched from the well, he can fetch again and again and...again.

debbycreamy:
A cheat is not always a cheat, she came out plain and confessed meaning she felt remorse for wat she did, and hoping to repent, most girls will hide it and pretend til dey die, he should forgive her and never give up on her coz such girls are rare, most poor girls are tempted to cheat coz of d money to buy things or feed, don't blame her much, I believe if the bf had given her enough she wouldn't have cheat, forgive her and move on oh jare op

I don't believe you just "explained" away why cheating on your spouse/significant other can be condoned.

How about explaining away why robbers, kidnappers and the like should be pardoned due to the fact that they were born into poverty, needed money and hence resorted to robbery and the like.

Know this: Circumstances does not make the man, but reveals the man to his/her true self.

She had the propensity to cheat, broke or not and when an opportunity presented itself, she ran away with the biscuit!