₦airaland Forum

nicerod:

Victoria accepta (don't ask me who be Victoria o! )

3310adeb:
Compliment Of The Season To All Nairalanders.

I Worked As A Valet Attendant In One Of The Night Club At V.I And Guess What,I received Alert Of Unexpected 600k This Morning,

Valet Attendant Is Someone That Take Cars From The Quest That Comes To A Particular Places, Parked It And Hold Unto The Key Till They Are Living, And This Mostly Come With Tips And Some Other Kindness,

So Right Now, I have Several Customers, (Dignitaries) That Have Took My Account Number And Promise To Make Me And My Family Smile, But I'm Confused Because #600,000 Is Not A Joke

ThereFore, My People I need Your Advice

Both Constructive And Insultive Ones Are Welcome Because I understand The Tradition In Nairaland
Thanks

na wa o! See money way i want o! Just #84k,for my rent.why this no come to my account naw?if na me i go take small return the rest.

Enemyofpeace:
Remembering James Hadley Chase On His Birthday. (Age 78, 24th. December 1906). Happy Posthumous Birthday.

How Many Did You Read?

1. No Orchids for Miss Blandish - 1939
2. The Dead Stay Dumb - 1941
3. The Dolls Bad News - 1941
4. Miss Callghan Comes to Grief - 1941
5. Get a Load of This - 1942
6. Miss Shumway Waves a Wand - 1944
7. Eve - 1945
8. I'll Get You for This - 1946
9. Last Page - 1947
10. The Flesh of the Orchid - 1948
11. You Never Know With Women-1949
12.You're Lonely when you’re dead1949
13. Figure It Out for Yourself - 1950
14. Strictly for Cash - 1951
15. The Fast Buck - 1952
16. Double Shuffle - 1952
17. I'll Bury My Dead - 1953
18. This Way for a Shroud - 1953
19. Tiger By The Tail - 1954
20. Safer Dead - 1954
21. You've Got It Coming - 1955
22. There's Always a Price Tag - 1956
23. The Guilty Are Afraid - 1957
24. Not Safe to Be Free - 1958
25. Shock Treatment - 1959
26. The World In My Pocket - 1959
27. What's Better Than Money - 1960
28. Come Easy - Go Easy - 1960
29. A Lotus for Miss Quon - 1961
30. Just Another Sucker - 1961
31. I Would Rather Stay Poor - 1962
32. A Coffin from Hong Kong - 1962
33. One Bright Summer Morning - 1963
34. Tell It to The Birds - 1963
35. The Soft Centre - 1964
36. This is for Real - 1965
37. The Way the Cookie Crumbles-1965
38. You Have Yourself A Deal - 1966
39. Cade - 1966
40. Have This One on Me - 1967
41. Well Now - My Pretty - 1967
42. An Ear to the Ground - 1968
43. Believed Violet - 1968
44. The Whiff of Money - 1969
45. The Vulture Is a Patient Bird - 1969
46. Like a Hole in the Head - 1970
47There's a Hipie on the Highway-1970
48. Want to Stay Alive? - 1971
49. An Ace Up My Sleeve - 1971
50. Just a Matter of Time - 1972
51. You're Dead Without Money - 1972
52. Have a Change of Scene - 1973
53. Knock, Knock! Who's There?
54. So What Happens To Me? - 1974
55. Goldfish has No Hiding Place - 1974
56. Hit And Run - 1958
57. The Joker In The Pack - 1975
58. Do Me a Favour, Drop Dead - 1976
59. My Laugh Comes Last - 1977
60. I Hold the Four Aces - 1977
61. Consider Yourself Dead - 1978
62. You Must Be Kidding - 1979
63. A Can of Worms - 1979
64. You Can Say That Again - 1980
65. Try This One for Size - 1980
66. Hand Me a Fig Leaf - 1981
67. Have a Nice Night - 1982
68. We'll Share a Double Funeral - 1982
69. Not My Thing - 1983
70. Hit Them Where It Hurts - 1984
71. He Won't Need It Now - 1941
72. Lady, Here's Your Wreath - 1940
73. Just The Way It Is - 1944
74. Blonde's Requiem - 1945
75. Make The Corpse Walk - 1947
76. No Business of Mine - 1947
77. Trusted Like the Fox - 1948
78. The Paw in the Bottle - 1949
79. Mallory - 1950
80. But A Short Time To Live - 1951
81. Why Pick on Me? - 1951
82. In A Vain Shadow - 1951
84. The Wary Transgressor - 1952
85. The Things Men Do - 1953
86. The Sucker Punch - 1954
87. Mission To Venice - 1954
88. Mission To Sienna - 1955
89. You Find Him, I'll Fix Him - 1956
90. More Deadly Than The Male - 1947
91 Slipstream : A Royal Airforce Anthology-1946
92.Believe this you’ll believe anything - 1975

happy birthday to him.the first time them see him novel in my hand,them say i dey read blue film

Odogwujayy:
Morning Nairalanders, see the deadly cobra we killed in my area. I'm still in shock.

cobra

Enemyofpeace:
Drama as bridegroom walks out of engagement ceremony in Imo State due to extortion.

He paid N1,500,000 to cater for food, tents, chairs and a public address system.

He was also made to set aside N100,000 as the bride price that the two families had agreed on.

Biobelemoye David was asked to add N50,000 to the bride price because he had already impregnated the girl.

He was slapped with a N10,000 fine for making a detour to the wrong path and ending up in a different homestead instead of the girl's.

He was also asked to pay N15,000 to appease the elders who had become tired of waiting for his arrival.

Drama however ensued when twelve girls covered in loose robes from head to toe were paraded before Biobelemoye David and he was asked to guess who his fiancée was.

He pointed at the wrong woman and that lead to yet another fine of N15,000 thrice

The decisive moment specifically was when the elders demanded for a refund of the total sum of N850,000 that had been paid as the girl's school fees and upkeep since she started primary school!

Fuming with anger which he tried his best to hide, Biobelemoye David excused himself to visit a nearby latrine and disappeared!

He switched off his phone and was last seen in a bus heading to Bayelsa State from Imo

waiting them go dey chop after marriage? .if na me i go do everything, even self add more money.person way go come my place go pay for lodging and food.

tooth4tooth:
If police authority had taken had taken a drastic action on this report by making the officers mentioned to face necessary disciplinary action,may be barrister Bolande's death could have been avoided.

is time to make money from them,let him take them to court.

hitblaz02:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uvK9BwOT8k

some of nairalander are scavengers and those people that walk from one dustbin to another. They just go and pick old stories

FeliciaOja:
I was at a traditional wedding ceremony with my new boyfriend at obowo imo state
My bf was part of the event organisers
he was busy almost all of the time.
A good looking guy sat in the same cannopy I was sitting.
Then next thing I know he changes seat and comes to my table.
We just had a few chit chat and his friend comes in and tells him they need to go pick up something.
He left but later comes back and hand me a note with his phone number and a $100 dollar note
I'm really confused if I should call him or not
should I tell my boyfriend or lock up

me i need am

JakeDavis:
Just 2 days to Christmas I went to the bank to collect a new ATM card. You know this COVID policy na, we were asked to sit under a canopy at the bank premises and given numbers. Beside me was this cute, fair and thick babe. As par guy man, we got talking. No jokes, we clicked, she came for the same ATM shii. Did it together and left the bank together. Beside the bank was an joint. Told babe let's chill. I bought 2 plates of pepper soup for us. Bought her Smirnoff ice and I took life lager beer. Had a nice romantic time. Time to go bae was a bit sleepy. Told her let's go to my place. She agreed but told me she will be leaving by 4pm. I said no p. Omo we reach house. Body come charge. Naso I bang babe 3 to rounds. Babe just dey scream dey enjoy my lamba. Said I was better than her boyfriend (smiles). Last last as she dey go, I gave her some money. Babe come dey pray for me o. Say make God enrich me o. Say she go leave her bf for me. Besides she de go white garment Church. Anyways that's my Xmas Eve escapade.

rainbow candles for ur head.

Stephen2324:
I asked her to send me a picture of where she is working and she sent me this. Abeg make una help me explain the picture.

please show all working.leave the address to the nearest location

adenigga:
Source: https://punchng.com/CBN-spends-N800bn-on-currency-production-destruction

them know how much them use,but them don know how much them produced.is this money not enough to do some parts of the railway?

Yungmil:
Straight to the point for me am not giving any of my Neighbors anything and am not expecting anything from them either!!!!!!


I will stay indoors from morning till dawn. I don't intend to go anywhere or to visit anyone. Neither am I inviting anybody to visit me. Just all by myself. Enjoying my privacy.

Without delay I have already gotten my favorite food for now which is garri which I am planning to drink tomorrow.

I just want to do something different tomorrow. Am drinking garri tomorrow!!! I already bought garri, cowbell chocolate to spice it up. Later I will get Gnut and sugar.

The truth is I feel happy eating in peace. Even if my Neighbors are busy frying chicken � up and down, I just want to feel happy as well drinking my garri garnished with milk and G-nut.

For me this life is very simple. If I can't eat chicken at least I can afford garri. The most important thing is I am happy drinking my garri.

Christmas is just a day (though a very special day), any day I can afford chicken is also like a Christmas to me.

So how do plan to spend your Christmas day?

a red for my side o! I just dey low key

Wavetasn:
This life done tire me, I plan on committing suicide before the new year but before then I want to disburse the money left in my account 600k to as many people possible, rules are
don't preach to me, I've heard it all,
dont beg I don't care what you need the money for]
don't double post accounts, let the money go round



Just post your account number and tell me when you receive the funds.

Deadline is before 31st 2022

zenith Bank 2411591126

ChizzyBuna:
I entered village yesterday, to my surprise my mother brought in a new house help.
She no fine at all, but she get body

Today I just comeback from youth meeting after drinking and na she open gate for me.
As I dey so, omo konji just dey wipe me with oriamo.
I want to make a move on the girl so we can have sex.
The girl no fine at all but is managable
How do I start
How do I tell her lets Bleep?
Should I give her money or not
I need serious advice from the OGs

i beg o! Please give the names of people and celebrities way marry ugly girls.no put ur name yet.

Uwagood123:
My mom has never loved me,not even once. Well that I can say since I have grown to feel and reason.

I am always the one at the receiving end, the scapegoat, the victim.

There are times when she will grip me tightly, spank me and hit me profusely with a broom, then she will leave me to drown in the pool of my own tears without an atom of sorry from her. Whose mom does that?


I often ask myself if she takes delight in causing me suffering and agony
I often ask myself if she takes delight in causing me suffering and agony but I’m met with no answers, shivering in my own thoughts and wonders.

Ade! Adeoluwa as she often calls my father in a disrespectful and harshlful tone that can pull off the roof of the archaic one storey building with worn out exteriors and broken Louvre ” come take this your misfortune out of here before I skin him alive” that she says groaning and yelling like father, like son.

Slowly my father would walk towards me his eyes red and bulging out, his hands shaking, you can easily tell his terrified. Click to continue reading https://uwagood.com/2022/09/04/i-have-become-the-monster-she-made-of-me-and-she-my-prey/

bye bye reading

EvilRampage:
This girl came over for business, after all done and dusted, she still hang around to charge her phone till 7pm when she decided to go. After 10min she came back that she couldn't get a bike, that she'd be staying till the next morning.
Free bj and banging. Ok no wahala.
Later aunty enter kitchen, carry food, siddon dey watch movie. I told her that i have arranged for a ride for her as early as 7am, she said okay.

This morning, aunty don change dress wear my one of my shirt dey watch music video.
Won't you go back? The ride is on the way. She said i should cancel it that she'd stay till monday and she wont bill me.
Abi this one dey whine me ni. Na your papa huz?

Come dey go. No.

Come dey go. No

For her front i call like five niggas if dem go bang free pvssy and mouth for 2days. Na aunty hissed carry her ataya and before she left, i made sure she wash the plate she used.

I no get time for nonsense.

hand over naw

naijablood:
I started observing this pattern since 2018
I was posted away from my then girlfriend to another state for NYSC hence couldn’t engage in serious relationship through out my service

…But seriously that year was one of my favorite in terms of financial success.
As a serving corper I was also working freelance for two different companies in Lagos. … coupled with other gigs … I was in money.

After service I met a lady and we kicked off a relationship, within 2months of us into the love affair, I lost the two jobs as a freelance was done with service so had to start some money making venture, but was tough, well the relationship lasted four months.

After three months of us breaking up I had a business idea, year 2020, got into it and within two months I made my first million was single for a year.

2021 I met a lady and started meeting … and within a space of 6 months, I was back to square one…

Early this year was tough and depressing, and by June, we were already having relationship problem, hence some space between us.

But from September I notice some positivity, business took off I started saving up and by November I had to buy a property to compensate myself for a hardworking year ..

Now my problem is I’m disturbed , this lady been asking for us making the relationship official .. but I’m scared loosing it all … I keep getting back to the ground when I’m in relationship…

But will I be single for life … I’m just lost.

Of a truth,u r a born Reverent Father.

slimfit1:
40 children died in Southern Kaduna it was as if it didn't happen if 3 people died in America or France he will be sending condolences. The UN keeps mute to this ethnic cleansing going on. Most of us keep quiet because it is not affecting us directly. May you not witness what these mothers witness. The people that are supposed to protect these people are not doing anything. The people that represent them have been silenced.
The Christian faith has been silenced with cash that they turn their eyes to when they see evil being committed. When these communities defend themselves the Nigerian government attacks them for doing so but tends to go and defend the attackers when the attack is not going successfully. The only time Nigerian army are doing there job is when Fulani communities are in trouble.

all i wanna say is that they don't really care about us.this Micheal jackson song mean a lot.arise and fight for urself.the west don't care about us.

naptu2:
Babajide Sanwo-Olu @jidesanwoolu



https://twitter.com/jidesanwoolu/status/1605587940326768640

leave plenty grammar,any job for me there?

LOVEGINO:
oil dey ur head jare. Just leave d indomie children alone.

i repent

VeryWickedGoat:
I want to report this very wicked woman for attempting to kill this innocent child. I'm very sure she's not happy about the baby's birth or she is barren or she is a witch because I don't know why a so-called woman will subject a baby to such inhumane treatment all in the name of feeding.

She looks like those oversabi village committee of elderly midwives that scold new mothers on how to raise their children.

Just look at the poison she is forcing down the boy's throat!! No nutrient in that poisonous compound. No milk or sugar just plain water and akamu.

Look at the unhygenic plastic container she probably picked up in a trash bin. Look at her dirty deformed hand used to feed a child with little natural immunity to diseases. Look how the boy is screaming in agony yet our oversabi witch feels she knows best. Look at the wicked smile on her face knowing that the boy will soon give up the ghost and its mission accomplished for her.


Which agency can I report this crime and I need a very heartless military person that can help me to deal with this woman severely. I'm very angry right now.

this indomine generation self.this is often done if the child is sick and refused to eat,or when breast is taking away.but in her case blame the presidency, feeding bottles and milks don cost.

mohammedadam:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfbzBwgSJWA

Glad tidings have come the way of a woman and her daughter-in-law as they have been gifted new cars.

The car gifts are coming from the woman's son who made them so emotional with the big surprise.

A video of when they got the gifts was posted on TikTok by Wow Me By Succy and it has so far got 253k views

Both the woman and her daughter-in-law could not contain their joy the moment the good news reached them.

They became carried away with emotions when they finally beheld the cars as they could not believe their eyes.

One of the women believed to be the man's mother fell and even rolled on the floor out of uncontrollable joy. TikTok users have appreciated the man for making the women in his life happy.

this is to balance Height BP.buy for one and leave the other,his BP will rise,or buy for the other and leave one his BP will still rise.to balance it,buy for the two.wise man

Amotolongbo:
”so pe o ti lo”

Bro, it is a good idea moving to Zambia for the one you love.

May God be with you
Iree ooo

Are we to call this a greener pasture or browner pasture?

do u care if i carry japa there?

mosdii:
A pack of rice, fruit salad, juice and apple fruit.

Or

A pack of rice, salad, small chops and wine.

I will be gifting 10 males on NL 1 each of any of the pack they chose.

yesssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dre11:
https://dailytrust.com/breaking-we-dont-know-quantities-of-new-notes-printed-cbn/

it is finished