₦airaland Forum

Olajide200:
Guy. Just cool it off and go home. That is what women do. Just get used to it. These are things men just have to live with. I am telling you this from years of experience. Marriage isnt worth the stress. But you are in already. I actually laugh (sometimes aloud) when I hear people getting excited about getting married.

To make marriage work is a lot of stress.
The excitement dies down as the marriage progresses... Enjoy single life before marrying e get why

Pipefitter:
Are you kidding me, paying for her CS is a sacrifice you had to make? Unbelievable

Yes it's a sacrifice. Even though it should be an obligation and a role, that doesn't invalidate it as a sacrifice. A responsible man is sacrificial

I got a very important history suggestive of maternal blues. She cries over small issues is a strong indicator. How long has she been like this?
If it's past 14days, it's tending towards psychosis and it's best she goes for evaluation.

thesilentman:
My blood is burning now as I write.My wife has now completely changed for bad, a few days after our second child.

An erstwhile submissive woman that i thought i had tamed for life has now become a thorn in the flesh to me. I just parted with over 300k unplanned fund for her C.S. I thought she'd be more respectful to me now but no,she has changed completely!

She dares me to do my worst,she cries over small issues that i wonder if it's witchcraft.Or she thinks I can't quit cos she's got two boys for me? The mind boggles. Am just mad and gobsmacked at the same time as all my Red pill O.T have failed and am even considering divorce right now.

I'm at a bar drinking my sorry ass away, brainstorming the best option for me. What could be outta place?

I need candid advice,folks.

Hey man, get your shit together.
Your wife may be suffering from maternal blues or postpartum psychosis for her to be behaving this way.

Trust me, it's very difficult to live with someone with psychosis not to talk of postpartum psychosis.

Asides that, your wife went through a CS. If it's her first CS, her behavior is not far from expected. The best thing to do is to show her more love, care and concern during this period. As a man, you'll have to swallow a lot of insults and embarrassment to let peace reign and that's a sign of strength not weakness since you're married, you'll get the short end of the stick and you've to accept it like that. Your direct force will not work, you've to behave like 'a woman' stoop low to conquer.

IconicR:
Go for test then

Just kidding you.
I'm as clean as white.

drimzsmoke:
Oga doctor, you're lying, when it's not as if there's some form of disaster going on.

Be grateful for good health Chief.
Ask any regular doctor working in teaching hospitals especially in the accident and emergency section.
I recently left UITH (university of Ilorin teaching hospital) in July and I was at the A&E for a while, a lot of preventable deaths happened simply because there's no light and water. It was that bad that it was published.

IconicR:
Those of you promiscuous men in Lagos beware of this lady in ikorodu she's HIV positive and vows to spread it.
Gossipmill posted it

Haaa, you no talk since.
I don sleep with this lady before before 😂 😂 😂

EleventhWeirdo:
Same idiots gave you instructions at med school.

If you attended a public school, your education was funded/highly subsidized with the taxes of same idiots

As a matter of fact, same idiots were the subject of your practical sessions in clinical trainings

Are you not the idiot yourself?

Yeah, you probably don't know how bad the health system in Nigeria has degenerated into.
When I was in my final year, my profs and consultants hammered it into us to leave the country because Nigeria has nothing to offer it's doctors. The Japa syndrome is not ending anytime soon. There are not enough doctors, many doctors have been inducted since July and the portal isn't yet opened, doctors are owed salaries, in some teaching hospitals, no light , no water for days that it has become a dead zone. The number of people I pronounce dead daily is alarming, death that is very much preventable. Thank God I'm on sabbatical at least make I rest and refresh my mental health

Pounded yam over poundo yam a hundred times over.

The taste is distinct

IconicR:
I'm a grandma of five already

Awwwwn, that's nice

I advocate not dating a single mother, I advocate avoiding single mothers but funny enough and ironically, I fell in love with a single mother of one. This lady is close to perfect, never disrespected me, she's self reliant and hardworking, very neat and beautiful. This girl is loyal to the core (tested and trusted), she's very spiritual too and her pussy is tight. She's all you want in a woman and more, she knows her worth, doesn't flirt with guys, very Opened to me, she tells me everything but despite all these qualities and more, I still had my doubt, is this woman pretending?
Then I decided to double date, I found a young virgin girl and fell in love with her. Along the line, the two got to know about each other and started fighting each other (online not physically). The funny thing was that I broke up with my virgin girlfriend and stayed with the single mother.

It seemed like a foolish decision then but that's just how I am, I tend to go the abnormal way. Will I eventually marry the single mother, I can't say for now but I still dey enjoy her company. Many think this woman has charmed me, or maybe she has

Moh247:



Yes...


Having a child is a sign of maturity especially if she raise her kid properly and has an occupation to take care of herself then she's responsible

I fvcking can't stand all this young girls especially some GenZ... They are just not focused , not goal driven, quite shallow in discussion.. you barely have sex with them roll over to sleep and that's it , nothing to talk about because they are empty..

A peaceful single mother with her own income is far better than a liability with loads of problem


.

Date a single mother at your own peril.
Single mother kor, when there are fresh ladies out there. Single fathers should date single mothers

Hairy balls.

SlayQueen and more

IconicR:
I'm 60+ everyone knows that here

Married with children??

Oh, you're sex starved. Eyah pele


And me I'm here tired of the women in my Life

Oboto700:
you guys don't have sense on this forum..so na leaves he go use pay to learn the skills? Mumu people

No mind them.
Everybody dey talk skills up and down.
I no get any skills, the people wey dey talk skills up and down for my causal contact list dey beg me for urgent 2k

Skills is good but know the right skills for you.

BItt:
Which kind wahala be this. Rain don dey fall for the past 4 hours,
woman I no get, money I no get
Job! I no get, TV I no get
Girlfriend, I no get. Which kind life be this?
This week now, landlady don Send her pikin 6times for Nepa bills payment. Last week I pretended I was not at home. I don scope them taya

Everything just get as e be.
Sometimes, I go dey alone and start to dey laugh, dey smile... E go reach one point sote I go just sober con dey shake my head. Depression wann kill person. Loneliness bad walahi.

Omo sometimes e go do me like say I don almost get the solution to all of Nigeria problems. Before I blink, I don forget una problem and solution sef
The whole matter just get as e be

Alaye, the sun shines after the darkest night.
Go monk mode, know yourself deeply, study human nature, read books. Give yourself six months to grow in this six months, draw the charts of your Life, define your core values, cultivate your mind, have detailed steps. Do this everyday, intensify in days of hunger and lack, have abundance mindset. Develop laser like focus, gain clarity and direction, meditate and after six months you'll find improvements.

I dey on sabbatical would have written more.
The summary be say, focus on yourself (people come and go but na you go remain)

Na virgin I go marry.
If you no wan marry virgin, na your choice

uuzba:
If you want to marry, marry.
Women hit menopause at 35-45 years
if she tells you 38 years, you'll start calculating the possibility of her still being capable to bear children.
When an 18year old passes by that is 101% capable, you then dump the 38 year old and jump on the 18 year old.
The 38 year old will feel used and abused!
-
Just take her on a date to swim. Make sure she enters water very well, let all the makeup wash from her face and body.
If she's still looking normal, go ahead and marry. But if you see crayfish, you can breakup with her.
All this will be done peacefully without asking her age.

Street wittiness... Take her to swim to remove her Camo and see her real face

IconicR:
casual man 😂

My Popsy talk say make I bring wife come house, are you abelebu?

IconicR:
casual man 😂

Lol, we're friends na so tell me

GanagiBitrus:
Over 50% of Lagosians need psychiatric evaluation.

Over 90% boss

uuzba:
His age and wisdom is beyond your understanding!

The person I quoted is a female
And yes, I'll love to learn from the wisdom

tochez24:
Lol it's wrong to ask a woman her age because most of them are already expired, hiding behind heavy make ups, butt enlargement and cairo whitening cream⚠️

Next time, be more gentleman and go for a virgin!!!!💯

A virgin will offer genuine love, loyalty and a juicy creamy tight pussy non of these bitches everywhere can give you💙💙

True but you're looking for the wrong things in a woman

IconicR:
Nothing is wrong
But a casual person has no right to want to know her age.

You're right, how old are you?

Both are bad and both are worse.
Although it seems masturbating has "lesser effects" compared to premarital sex. The argument of no STDs, no spending of money/resources, no girlfriend problems etc seems to place masturbating on a better scale compared to premarital sex but If we look at the end result or consequences of masturbating, it's like a self destructing habit, it's addictive and can destroy mentally and in many ways. Although many will argue that in moderation, the side effects are lesser or non existent, we all know many people caught in the web of masturbating that wished they never started it. That tells you how bad it is, if you're still masturbating and you've not started experiencing these negative effects, it's because you've not gotten deep enough yet. When you get deep enough, you'll want to come out but your will power will fail you. I have helped a lot of people overcome masturbation through different methods and ways, maybe one day I'll resume again when I'm much free.

Premarital sex on the other hand tends to have more physical consequences than mental, the fear of unwanted pregnancy, single /baby Mama, STDs, girlfriends trouble, spending limited resources etc.

In summary, masturbation or premarital sex isn't the issue at all, we are looking at the wrong direction. The basis of all these is energy and masturbating and premarital sex is misusing this energy, and energy wrongly applied will lead to death. If you can find a way to transform this energy into a positive and more benefiting form e.g through Meditation, you've overcome masturbation and premarital sex forever.

SMJay:
Modern marriage is a living death for men.

I loved my wife for a while and she adored me and we had three beautiful children and still it slowly descended into tedious, grinding, soul-crushing misery. Endless nagging, constant complaints, ungratefulness, squandering money, walking back promises about shared goals, cheating, selfishness, deranged behavior, everything every man tries to avoid. It finally imploded after 8 years when she commenced a legal battle that cost us over $50,000 in attorney fees. Our children are scarred for life. We despise each other with a red hot hatred that I never would have thought possible. The real kicker? I thought I had gotten lucky when I met her.

Here’s the awful truth no one teaches young men:

The voluntary, love-based, monogamous marriage is impossible for the vast majority of people. Evolution favors variety. Deep in our unconscious brains we are programmed by evolution to repel each other. Marriage, at its core, was never about love. It was about survival and social stability and gender-based division of labor in a pre-modem era when the lives of everyone in the family unit, especially children, depended on that bond. Men are polygamous, women are hypergamous. We come from an alpha male/harem of females evolutionary dynamic, as do the vast majority of social mammals. Geneticists have proven we have several times more female ancestors than male ancestors. Such societies are inherently unstable however. Marriage was the solution to this problem that allowed us to create civilization.

Now marriage is irrelevant. Modern technology and the police and welfare states have solved all the problems marriage was designed to solve in the first place. Now it’s unnecessary. The practical origins of marriage are utterly lost on modern women (and a lot of men to be honest). We have replaced it with an unworkable, fantastical, imbecilic model based on voluntary commitment and romantic love WHICH DOES NOT WORK. Marriage’s days were numbered with the onset of the industrial revolution. In the 1960s and 1970s the religious and legal and social constraints that held most marriages together were dismantled. Worse still, we now have an antiquated family court system that punishes men but rewards women. Add in birth control and abortion on demand and smart phones and social media and dating apps and failure is practically guaranteed. Women are never satisfied. It’s in their DNA. Briffault’s Law is real. Marriage must be externally enforced (law, church, etc) for it to survive in the VAST majority of cases. Women are, by nature, materialistic and erratic and solipsistic and duplicitous and malcontented and emotionally disregulated and irrational. When it comes to men, a woman’s “love”is both opportunistic and extractive. No matter how much attention or money you give her it will never be enough. Just ask Will Smith or BIll Gates or Jeff Bezos or Brad Pitt (ETA: or Sylvester Stallone or Tom Brady). I don’t think it is biology possible for a women to be content in a relationship. It makes perfect sense from an evolutionary perspective. Lasting love (which is different from romantic love) cannot exist without trust. Men simply cannot trust ANY women given the current family court system and modern women’s ridiculous expectations and women’s underlying nature. When divorce became an option for every woman, at any time, for any reason, marriage became risk prohibitive for every man. No sane man would sign a modern marriage contract if he really knew what he was getting into.

Hell is a wife. Marriage ruins men’s lives. It will destroy your dreams. A wife will eat your soul. Being legally and financially at the mercy of a woman’s emotions is an exhausting, grinding, slow-motion horror I can’t even begin to describe. Marriage is nothing but a loaded gun pointed at a man’s head and the woman gets cash and prizes for pulling the trigger. I’ve had cancer and I’ve been married to a woman who loved me and cancer was preferable. At least I didn’t have to pretend to love the cancer as it was slowly killing me. At least cancer went about it in silence. At least cancer’s behavior was comprehensible.

Until the laws change and society reverts back to a rational model for marriage that is enforceable, NEVER, EVER, GET F-ING MARRIED IF YOU’RE A MAN!!
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I think I'll agree with you.
Marriage is hell if you marry the wrong partner.
Marrying the right partner doesn't guarantee a smooth marriage. Marriage is more of roles and obligations rather than Love, it's a form of security for women and a load of work for Men. It's the stress of marriage that causes many married men to run after single ladies or other married women( this is very wrong though).

The few marriages you think is working has defects in it, some are just enduring instead of enjoying the marriage. Marriage is overrated but it's important if it's done well

The problem is that you're an adult and you've stopped reasoning like a child, you've lost your childlike spirit and innocence.

I relate more with children because I still retain my childlike spirit. Your child is 4 and he's transitioning into another phase of awareness and consciousness, disciplining him should be from a point of Love, reduced voice shouting to the barest minimum (though it appears to give a fast result but it's destroying the child's future in the background), ensure your communication is heartfelt i.e heart to heart communication and not just words of commands or rebuke all the time. If you want a child to change, you've to come down to the child's level and see from his/her perspective, a child can never see from the perspective of an adult, it's impossible but an adult can see from the perspective of a child because the adult was once a child.

In summary, your child is in the right path, what he's saying is not wrong even if you find it embarrassing, teach him what "private part" entails, tell him about modesty and dressing. The mistake many parents make is giving nicknames or less raw words to "private parts" telling them the real thing from a young age wouldn't corrupt them if you train them well.

If you chastise your son in the wrong way, trust me he'll remember this incidence when he's older and he'll find it difficult to implement such standard teaching like this one as he grows older. In the end, you're the one in custody of your child and you can train him as you deem fit but do not dampen the spirit of your child.

It's funny how many parents think they know how best to raise a child, you'll agree that your parents raised you well or maybe they didn't but they tried their best but despite that, you'll find defects in the way your parents raised you. You'll find mistakes if you're observant in the way your parents raised you. That's the same way your child will see your mistakes and errors in you raising them up, it's just the nature of Life. Raising children is unique and although there's a standard to aim at, the paths are different. Oh, how I love Children, such wonderful souls.

TheFreshVanilla:
It's because you don't have. Most of you guys talk from a broke perspective. Wait till you have enough.

Even if I have more than enough, shishi I will not give any lady. I'll rather collect from them sef if possible