₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Area_boy]huh? what has this thread turned into? I read the first 5 pages and decided to skip to the end and now I cant recognise it anymore?!

I'll try to reflect on the issue from the first post. Hardly anyone knows how exactly this woman "diciplined" the 14yr old staying with her. Hardly anyone asked/cared. Rather people Jump the gun and call for blood. She probably beat the living day lights out of the kid and now is crying foul over a few well placed slaps? Not fair I guess.

Everyone Is wrong here. The woman, the 14yr old, her in-laws. Good example of the caveman cultures we have in Nigeria. Cos someone lives with you and "eats your food/drink your water" then you have the right to kill them?

We must learn to rule our emotions and not the other way around. Yet the bulk here will jump to church on sunday and give praise.


classic case of WWJD [/quote]U really have to read the whole thread to understand the whole story. While reading the whole thread try to concentrate on comments made by differnt people. If reading the whole thread would be a little to much for u then just try to read as from page 9 cos I wrote a summerized version there but make sure u read page 10 cos I wrote out the main story and finished it there. I think after then u would get the whole meat of the story once and for all.

now that little girl won´t be getting any ice creams anymore..

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]You obviously don't get what I mean. [/quote]Ok, I take it u´ve read the issue so I believe I now understand what u meant. Didn´t mean to sound hard on ya.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Woman beats child

Child's father beats woman

Woman's husband beats Child's father

Woman's father wants to beat Child's father

Cousin's father threatens to slap cousin

Wife's Cousins want to beat Child's father

. . .where does it end??!! [/quote]read the end of the story and u would know

ferhyntorlah: Drnoel, abeg give full version. Like I said earlier, take your time and start from what the girl did to warrant the beating. Has she been doing it before that it got to a level madam couldn't hold the disrespect any longer?

Also let us know how the meeting started; who was the alaga iduro(the coordinator)? What did everyone say including the madam and was the niece there also? What was being said before madam's family stormed the meeting? How did the slapper do Ben Johnson style?

I don help you small; over to you.

The meeting was done in my brothers house and he did the introductions. The eldest of my uncles cordinated the whole meeting and he was the first to give his opinion. Madam was there but the niece had since been sent home to her parents house.

freecocoa: Wait o drnoel so that's the end of the story? The slapper scaled fence and will go to meet the girl's family, that's all?

I am still writing it so bear with me.

Anyway looks like I´ll try to let the cat out of the bag the way I still rememebred it all happened.

As far as I remember there was no complaint from my cousin and his family about the little girl since she started staying with them. Its not like she was a live-in. She comes and goes, mostly when madam thinks there is too mush for her do or one of her children was ill or she had too much work load at the office. Although, my wife did tell me once that madam did complain a few times to her (the two are close) that the girl was wasteful (water, food e.t.c) and does not like to be corrected cos when scolded she locks herself up in her room and stays there for hours and would be very rude when she finally comes out of her room. The incident that caused madam to beat her must have been something similar. Now the extend of the beating am still unsure but from what I can piece up from wifey. The little girl was slapped but the impact of the slap drove her unto a nearby table which had a flower vase. The table toppled over and the vase cut her and injured her. She ran off and locked herself in her room like she always does, that was when she must have called her parents.

On the day of the meeting, I had to live work early just cos my elder one hosting the meeting asked me to help him organize the drinks and some other small stuff needed. My wife luckily was able to take that day off so she went early to assist my sister-inlaw (my elder brother´s wife).
Now don´t get me wrong we are a large family but I happen to be the last of several boys so it was not new for me to be the one runing around for this or that (something I never used to do when I was younger).
I first sped to elder ones house and it was bursting with activity. His sitting room was the venue of the gathering and as I arrived, I greeted the elders and everyone there and they all waved me away to a sit so that my dad who was already addressing the group could continue talking and I heard him say things about not letting an outsider break the tradition of the family, and cause confusion among brothers. I wasn´t really surprised by his opinion cos he mentioned something similar to what he was saying then, but what shocked me was that my dad being the third speaker (people were asked to speak based on seniority) was saying almost the same things as my elder uncles. Rememeber I was not there when they started but I tried to keep abreast by asking what has been said and was told everyone is saying the same thing "the lady is unruly and proud"
I took an excuss from them all cos I still needed to collect what we had ordered from where it was been prepared hot.
When I arrived back, I signalled to my elder one to let him know I was back. I left just as my elder cousin continued his narration and I passed the information I had to tell my brother to him and he went back in, but I remained outside. After I had finished the arangement, I returned back to join the gathering only to hear my elder cousin calling his brother wife an irresponsible woman.
That must have been what broke the camel´s back cos my cousin stood up and asked his brother "Brother, are u still talking. Is it cos I chose to play the fool then u think me one. What gives u the right to touch my wife, how dare u? The elder brother made a stupid mistake to ask him "what can u do now that u didn´t do b4"
I myself can´t tell u how fast my cousin moved, I don´t think I saw him move. But in less than a twinkle of an eye he had slapped his brother resounding slaps and the two were locked in a grip. I can say I still didn´t believe it was happening infront of our elders until the younger one lifted his older brother and was going to hit him on the floor b4 myslef and our other cousins rushed in and stopped him
After they were seperated and the elders have expressed their displeasure at the fight. The husband was called to talk but he said since he was not around when it happened he would want his wife to recount what happened then he would say his mind. The wife narrated her tale and left and then my cousin started talking. I think it was while he was talking that his wife´s family and cousins drove into the compound (I suspect madam informed them even after I had begged her not to tell them) and the whole place was turned upside down with her angry family and her cousins. My elder cousin took off when he saw how angry they where and that they where ready to deal with him cos her cousins kept shouting "(her name) where is the foolish man that laid hand on u".
They knowing me and cos I have a good relationship with them came to harrass me but I and the husband pleaded with them not to take matters in their hand. It was not easy to convince them to hold their anger but they finally did. B4 they left they insisted on going with their daughter, which they did but b4 her father left he spoke to the gathering and he cried alittle as he did. The elders including my dad begged and assured him that it was a mistake that would be corrected. Then they left. The matter at hand then was make ammends and see how to rectify the suitation.

The gathering agreed that they would send people with the husband and his elder cousin to her parents to make ammends for the wrong that was done their daughter.

hispinkolo: Drnoel,
Which kain summary be dis?I have been stalking this thread waiting for blow by blow account.
Nawa to you o!

U know I did ask u guys to tell me if u wanted the summerized version or the full version but no one answered me so for the sake of conserving time writing a full story I summerized it above.

freecocoa: ^The thing don tire me sef

@Freecocoa but where have u been. I have posted a summerized continuation of the story above

chaircover: You are absolutely right, no one should be beating anyone.

BTW from what drnoel said, it was the wife who invited the girl into their home to come and help her with house chores . . . .am I correct drnoel?

yes u are correct

Sagamite: If you do not like my wife, stay the fck clear of her.

You will never have the right to put your hands on her. I don't even have that right.

My mentality too but just saying that or thinking it would not help the situation if u have a difficult family that would always put their nose where u don´t want them to. Just see from this incident how a lady was treated just cos she disciplined her niece. Yes, someone mentioned she should have reported to her husband first and I think the husband would have been in the better place to handle his niece. Also like someone said, lines were crossed and alot of people were disrespected but the fight, struggles and all that has transpired would not stop the plain fact that if one requires and demands respect from another person, one must be ready to first give that respect b4 one receives it back.
Right now ammendments is the order of the day and my elder cousin and some elders have been asked to pay madam´s parent a visit and extend their regret at the matter and also seek for suitable solution.

ronkebp: My hubby says, apart from the fact that the girl's father is a useless man "raising his hands against his brother's wife", he is sure, the lady is not well-liked by the husband's family, so he/they got an oppotunity to unleash what has been bothering him/them on the lady.....that there is more to that story than what just a mere spanking would cause.

In this point I agree with ur husband. It looks like most people hid their opinion about her till this issue surfaced and I was surprised to hear what my cousin´s family were saying about her, this was b4 her own family came into the picture and scattered the whole place. Then my family elders in their desperation to control the situation had to change their stand.

ferhyntorlah: Drnoel, please don't summarise oh. Please take your time to write what happened bit by bit. I have been eagerly waiting for the update.

As I read the update especially the part where the woman's family came prepared, I just could help but laugh. The man don enter am; next time he will think twice before raising his hands on a woman even if he is angry.

I hope this incident serves as a lession to all men who still feel bashing a woman is ok. You never know the kind people she get for her side who won't take such thing being done on their daughter/sister/cousin lightly.

it depends on popular request. If people in this thread want me to give the whole story and not the summerized version, then I would have to bend to people´s wishes.

I think to tell the remaining story it would be best to begin at the end. I know some would say but i had time to post a preamble earlier today and I am sorry if it wasn´t what u guys wanted to read but then how can u write a story about happening that are still too unclear or about men older than u fighting themselves infront of their elders. Or about the younger practically lifting his older brother from the ground and trying to smatch him on the floor b4 we had to force him to the ground himself. I am not proud to have to say things like this have happened and but then worse more cos the meeting was boycotted by madam´s family (she is an only child). I don´t know how her cousins found out. I have a good relationship with them and had begged her to atleast keep it from them until this was solved among us). How do I explain that immediately they arrived my elder ones house the elder cousin (that slapped madam) had to scale the fence and left us there to hold her family back. Her family in their anger would have attacked her husband too but for the fact that the young man´s linen was already rumpled and caked with blood as evidence that he was already trying to defend his wifey´s right.

Guys conversation changed from accussing a supposedly unruhly proud silly sister-inlaw to trying to make amend to an unjustly accused sister-inlaw. U need to hear my dad and his brothers, praise her,....u won´t just believe it.

steph7: This drnoel sef, what is this we've been waiting since yesterday oh, instead of u to come and give us gist, ur teasing us small small.

People, I had to write a fast update just cos of the people already abusing me for keeping them waiting this long. I really appologise, it wasn´t unpurpose.

steph7: This drnoel sef, what is this we've been waiting since yesterday oh, instead of u to come and give us gist, ur teasing us small small.

abeg no vex. I just wanted to lay the ground for people that have not been following the story till now so I can finish up the story. I will post the update today for sure just let me finish my house chores so my wifey would not have much to do anymore.

freecocoa: ^Abeg do update us.

Guys sorry I returned a little tired yesterday and couldn't bring myself to update the story. In some families respect is optimum and some of these families implement this in some very hard ways. If u've been following u would remember that in this situation a man's elder brother, in an attempt to implement this respect just so the brother wife would not repeat her effrontery slapped his brother's wife severally even when she tried explaining herself. As of then till the day of the meeting (yesterday friday) no outsiders were involved (NLers excluded) but emotions have been expressed, have boiled over and overflowed and have since then been waiting for a release. I will try to give u guys the meat of the rest of the story but bear with me cos it may really be a lot to type, I will try to summerize it as best as I can, meaning that I would have to cut some juicey stuff out at the end of the day.

A big fight broke out between two factions. It was quite colourful but atleast I believe someone has learnt to keep his hands to himself when he is upset, regardless of what upset him.....story continues shortly. I have to wait till they finish b4 someone slaps me since that is what they know how to do in this family. Guy pls bear wit my limited words today, am just writing from my fone.

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sexkillz: [color=#000030]It's allowed. It's what she wants. It's her choice. It doesn't come better than this. A lady asking you out. . .

You probably treat her better than her supposed boyfriend, and in relationships, emotional compatibility should hold sway. If you have feelings for her, don't turn her down, and if you know you are a time waster, let her know as well.

Be honest with your feelings.
[/color]

Sexkillz, I am rather disappointed in u 4 the advice u gave him. The situation does not sound complete and u ask him to carry on. Yes she may have been a friend but Sexkillz, how does one get close to another guy´s gf without putting urself in the bf´s shoes or making her feel u r a suitable replacement. He should tell us if he asked her out, how many close encounters did they have b4 she started changing her mind about her present bf. Remember he mentioned her present bf and her have been thru a lot 2gether. look, any guy that have dated a lot would know women tick somehow but would only start having second thought if u tempt her enough. How often did he tempt her and with what. I also know guy would do a lot for a pretty girl so am sure he must have tempted her. How is the present bf, is he silly or an asshole. Do u have more effisy than him, did u use it to tempt the girl. I would rather not give this guy any advice till her tells us the truth of the matter.Oya ova to u, tell us the truth.
Sorry but I won´t date any girl that left her present bf for me. Just as she left the guy, she will leave u once she finds someone she thinks is better than u.

best u run far away. I know a young man that was killed with a bullet to the head in lagos cos he was sleeping with a married woman and her husband found out.

excondido: nice to hear we are making gaint strides, much better than the negatives we are associated with lately.

gaint strides my foot. Did u not see how much billions telecomunication consumers spend in Nigeria last year. Was it more than half a trillion. Abeg, its our moneys worth. If we have to spend that much we should expect faster internet and better service.

authentic black: Married for some months now,wife said she wants a blackberry,Husband said you are connected at work why need one,he further said he don't want any disturbance at home after work.Wife went on getting a blackberry.Husband found out that his wife chats with her ex,and went mad and broke the phone.

please house has he done anything wrong?

but why would a married woman be chatting with her ex. the husband should not have broken the fone but some women just push men so far

Guys, will be back to update this story after the meeting tomorrow.

onila: I swear my naija pple never cease 2 amaze me

Come this little girl called Onila. U really should be ashamed of ur self. So cos u are jealous ur intention is to spoil this lady´s happiness. Pls people should stop this silly act. How does it concern u or me. She is married simply. Jealousy will kill some of our Nigerian girls in NL really. looks like I will start a thread on a jealous NL girl who posts silly posts.

seedord247: She's using you to pass to time man.... A real nigga dont follow girls, b*tches run after him.

thats the best advice u can get. goodluck

freecocoa: Firstly i think you should give yourself two hot resounding slaps, Have you done that?

Okay sweety,its very obvious the a$$hole is playing you,i guess you are still a teenager and the chatting site is 2go, anyways the dude doesn't love you and why in God's name should you call him that much when he clearly doesn't want to talk to you?

His attitude means just one thing,he's tired of you and its time you move on, he never even loved or respects you,he's a fecked up liar, don't sweat it dear, a better guy will come along and please you sound like the clingy\needy type, learn to be able to hold yourself a little.

Madam sometimes I wonder if u are a guy cos of the way ur advice sounds. I don´t say this often and my standards are really high but looks like a lady on NL has finally managed to make me say I am impressed. Don´t worry, I am married so am not unto u but just want to tell u to keep it up. Ur advice was solid. Anyway that little girl would learn the hard way and I pity her.