₦airaland Forum

Every first date I go on involves swimming. We gonna see how you look without that makeup bittch

People get so mad when you don't text them a lot. Maybe you're not interesting bittch.

*Moment of Silence* for the idiots who have no idea their bf/gf is cheating on them tonight.

Women are so childish, they love fighting over little things. Like your penis.

If a chick knows more about football than you, check for a Dick.

onila: well I am quite very playful, crazy and nuts on this forum sometimes
In real life, I am actually very reserved and love to be on my own

thats Y i cant upload my pic

how is it kind of queer I am a girl n yr male

Well, same here. I mean I'm actually kind of reserved with the exception of when I'm with die-hard crazy friends..lol..

I know and understand perfectly well about NL being a faceless forum but there're few of your followers who you like to put a face behing this craziness called Onila...lol..

It's kind of queer (not gay) that I so much want to see what you look like.

onila: its not everyone comfortable with their pic on a public forum

Do you have such low esteem that you feel and image of you is not worth the public eye?

I for one would like to put a face towards your profile and I'm always using different images in my mind on how you look which is kind of queer..

Since you want them back, try upload your picture. I'm sure there are hundreds dying to see what you look like.

I'm sorry but I had to create a topic under culture since I got banned by two different moderators on the Religion and General thread.

I have always been openminded in whatever field/circumstances life throws as me. As I have already mentioned, I'm very traditional much like Pagan9ja who I would someday love to meet and discourse informations relating to religion and culture. I have always been fascinated with the mythologies of this life and cultures/traditions pertaining different ethnicity and tribes in the world. It was through Pagan9ja I learnt the difference between a dialect and language and also between ethnic group and tribe which truthfully speaking, I still have come to fanthom the difference between each.

When relating to religious subjects in regards to Christianity and Islam, it's stale story that Pagan9ja is always on the defence and he is always accusing both Abrahamic religion as man worshipping religions.

Now my question for you Pagan9ja is;

1- Why so much hatred and distrust towards Christianity and Islam?.

2- Why tagging them as man worshippers where in retrospect so many other pagan/traditionalist religion out have Gods/Deity who were once mortal? (e.g Sango and so many others). In my own opinion, they should be classified as man worshipping religions too.

3- Why do I detect so much anger and hostility coming from you in regards to Christians and Muslims. If you were to win lost souls back to their African ancestral cultural practices and religion, force is not the right answer and that's why you seem to be the most hated person on Nairaland (ofcourse, you would come after sexkillz)

4- You claim both religion have caused more harm than good to mankind which history itself accepts your theory, but there have been thousand other pagan religion out there that has caused much more harm towards mankind as Christianity and Islam has.

I for once believe if you were shape humanity and bring us back to our roots, peace should be fundamental in regards towards your teaching. The more you hate towards another's religion, the more your personality and religion is being despised. Don't you think..

na person future mama be this ooh..

OLDIE, but in view of d current US govt's 'shut down'....
Subject: Great Britain Reclaims America



To the citizens of the United States of America
from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

In light of your current failure to financially manage yourselves and also, in recent years, your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents and therefore not properly govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)


I, Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except New Jersey, which we do not wish to acquire.)

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron (dcameron@uk.gov), will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday, enough of your foolish inebriation.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a concealed vegetable peeler.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the right side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get over it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with ketchup up but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American beer will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball and learn cricket.

13. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776)

14. Daily tea time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups and saucers, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.


Somewhat Respectfully,

Elizabeth II, Queen of All England



God Save the Queen!

babyosisi: Thanks for the compliments
There are people of all nationalities arriving the USA daily
Mexicans are swimming across the rio grande as we speak
With the exception of native Americans which is only 1% of the population ,everyone in America including George Bush is an immigrant
Some are first generation immigrants like myself ,some are 2nd generation like my children while some are 4th 5th 6th generation immigrants.
All na immigrant

I dey tell you. All na immigrant...lol..

babyosisi: Ohio is good.
Be warned,the snow in Ohio can be brutal in the winter time.
There is a size-able Naija community in Cleveland,Akron and Columbus
If you are Christian,there are some good Pentecostal churches in those areas too
As a citizen,she can get school loans easily even without a credit history
Obtaining an SS card is easy
You can come on a fiancé visa and once you marry and the papers are filed,you get a work permit and a temporary green card a few months later.
She can study for an associate degree in nursing instead of the BSN ( bachelors in nursing)but if she already has a degree from Naija she should explore other options.
There are some universities with nursing schools that allow people with a science degree to do a master's degree in nursing after some pre requisites ( which can be obtained at a community college).
After those requisites and you manage to secure an admission,you get an MSN ( masters in nursing) and then can take the nursing boards.

I know a young girl who studied Psychology and is on a path to do that
She finished the prerequisite courses in a community college ( took a year) and this fall started her masters in nursing which will take 18 months and she will become a nurse with masters degree.

Check out the universities and community colleges in the town in Ohio that you plan to move to
When she arrives,she can call and make an appointment to see the admission officers to ask for their admission requirements
Ask for any alternate paths or concessions for someone with a foreign degree
Sometimes the information may not be given if you don't ask for specifics.

Thanks for the information. That Ozo Emeka is such a kill joy and an enemy of progression. Since the U.S is too inhumane to reside there, what's he still doing there.. If he doesn't accept the situation with the U.S, like my good friends the rednecks would say. GET OUT!.

I'm currently planning to move to Canada. It's a work in progress and I still have some few years in Nigeria. I would be grateful if someone starts a thread on there too.

Great thread by the way. I love the way you flow in pidgin...

So this is reason for the failed country and not the mass looting, die hard corrupt corrupt politicians and leaders and a lackadiasical attitude from the government towards the needs of it's people.

Is this the only reason he could come up with and is this the same man the indigenous people of Akwa-Ibom installed in to govern them. Nigeria's pathetic.

I think I've come to understand that things in life happen for a reason. No name calling or hostility towards a step mom is worth the trouble. The mistake has already been made and can not be undone. I believe in the expression let sleeping dog lie.

The best way to get back at anyone is forgiving and moving on. Let love lead. Live your own life and focus on your goals and your future..

Funny enough I was thinking about a best bud I lost some few years ago.

To my very good friend Semako, lost his live in an auto accident caused by a drunken and reckless driver. We your best buds love you man.

To my grandma, the most dear woman to me. I'm sorry I wasn't there to comfort you on death bed and worse I couldn't make it on you funeral. I know you understand. Your legacy forever lives in me. I love you mama.

To my father's wife, my Aunt. I miss you ma's.

Keep smiling down on us

He's acting career just ended.

It was fun while it lasted though.

Good look in looking for a douche to path away with his/her hard earned cash but I believe Nigerians aren't this Naive.

$10,000USD, are you for real. Dude, this joke is expensive (literally) because no one's laughing.

Lame/

Chuck Norris's facts are better and well constructed.

The president is backing on the wrong tree. I'm sure he has no clue (as usual) as to how this ASUU strike would affect his bid for the 2015 elections. This has been causing so much damage to what's left of his credibility as a leader and I'm sure majority of the youth won't forgive him for this prank come 2015. He claims his opposition had infilterated the schooling system and are using this as a means of politicizing and geopardizing his bid come 2015 election which might actually be correct. If he had done what actually needed to be done, his opponent wouldn't have seen this as a loophole to shift the balance of power from his grasp. It's called politics and is he also clueless as to understand how the game works?

- Mr. President, everyone's not against you but we can't all just shut up while you and your cohorts take this country to the cleaners. First, you had to remove the only benefit (subsidy) we Nigerians enjoy on the first day of the year.

- The political instability and lack of security you've provided for Nigerians is enough. There's no day one opens a newspaper and doesn't read about a mass murder somewhere.

- The president has surely lost the North which is a stragic point if he was to win the elections come 2015. The rest of his backers from the north and majority from the South are just waiting for the last minute of the election to jump ship. No one want's to be on the losing side.

- Majority of the Nigerian populace totalling 60% of the general populace have lost any atom of faith they had in his governance simply because the promises he made when embarking on becoming commander-in-chief of the federal republic hasn't been put to practice. He keeps promising and promising to no avail.

- Nigerians are no more gullible than we were 14 years ago when we voted for the former president Obansanjo. I'm sure Mr. President think he has one last trick up his sleeves to play which is going to make him loose vehemently and that's rigging. The part he fails to understand is that we are now too smart for such political corrupt practices as we would only collect whatever he has to offer and vote for who we feel is qualified for the position.

- I think this dude should resign if he has any self respect and dignity left because come 2015, he's going to go down woefully.

This lady does not intend to move to Nigeria. Someone has compromised her account information on Nairaland.

I'm suspecting a mod or super mod is using unsuspecting members account to write false articles and post to gain traffic.

This is not the first occurance on this forum..

Nadia_SA was once a victim.

This is serious.

deejay717: I have actually only visited. I am not a native which is why I asked for advice ... I was born in Canada raised in America. My boyfriend however is from Nigeria but hasn't been back since his teens. He is really wanting to move back home to be with family and extend his business and of course expects me to follow. Anyways thanks for the advice

hi baby

owolabifunke14: That bastard with half an inch joystick banned me because I acknwoledged my self as first to comment and crowned my point with END TIME THINGS theory. He must go. Ugly fool

The force dumb is strong in this one.

If I was a Mod, I would ban you silly till infinity just like your stupidity which has no limit.

That end time shiit and first to comment buffoonery is so annoying and you even have cahones to complain.

Also, would those kind gentle Mods lift my ban?. I know I was naughty but I promise to be good after today..

Banned by r231 in Nairaland / General for Trolling . Ban expires on 9:35pm On Oct 08

Banned by HumbledbYGrace in Religion for For posting a members picture without her consent. Ban expires on 6:35pm On Oct 20

That dude must go before he ruins Seun's years of hardwork, perseverance and determination.

It's cool Seun succumb to our plight after days of inccesant threats but we want one more correction from him and also, I hope he agrees on our terms as a gentleman he is.

Remove sexkillz and install pagan9ja as a mod in the religion section .

We nor gree ooh, we nor go gree. Pagan9ja na him we want..lol..

@CAMEROONPRIDE, where're you at?

[quote author=madam_oringo]In case you don't know or are pretending, Zik did not magically find himself traveling to London. He was TIPPED OFF by Ifeajuna and co. who were supposed to take care of the SE. I read that Ifeajuna and Zik are somewhat related. Note, this was not the first time Zik ran away, he did also before then. Read more history, I am typing from my phone and cannot get up to write anything longer.

Number 2, be honest the coup is an ibo coup for at least 3 reasons, the majority of the coup plotters are ibos, the leaders of the coup are mostly ibos and the supposed victims that were tipped off and go away are ibos and were tipped off by ibos. No one is stupid not to see that. If a statistic sample shows even 50.1%, the entire sample population will be classified by that majority. Except you can show otherwise, it was an ibo coup.

Number 3, ironsi was not some innocent man who just happened to be a senior officer. What did Ironsi do about the ibo coupists who had just killed national leaders and people from other parts of the country? NOTHING!! He kept them away prisons in the east or wherever and gave them their ranks and uniforms, who be mumu?? Ironsi had 6 months or so to act or do something, all he did was fuckall nothing! Instead, he brought up Mojekwu (anothet ibo man) and his useless group to come up with the framework for Decree 34 that abolished Nigeria's regional governments and introduced the unitary government tht has held down Nigeria ti today. A unitary government ensures that the most progressive Western Nigeria's economic and developmental progress will then be slowed down to 0 and give the ibos to leverage on the Hausas by effectively keeping the top leadership position of the country. The blow back was that Ironsi and his advisers did not see that they had neither the mental capacity or military history of the majority north and west of the country. Ironsi was killed (along with a truly innocent Fajuyi) busy hosting this Ironsi (ibos do everything to rubbish his name while exonerating the pussy footing Ironsi who brought him into the conflict) and the game started by the ibos have been played on the rules they set only made more effective by other parts of the country. Today the SW is back in the economic, developmental, social and innovative leadership of the country and ahead of the SE while the north have had over 30 years at the saddle. Ironsi's plan for the ibos and ojukwus indiscretion have backfired and left ibos in an untenable position. Even the Ijaws have gained ascendancy over the ibos and except you people do the right things and apologize to the country, you will stay very long loko eru.[/quote]We the Igbos should apologize to the country on what grounds? Are you crazy? Has the Northerners apologized for the thousand of innocent South Eastern military officers who were arrested, tortured and prosecuted for the crime they did not commit after the counter-coupe. Has Nigeria apologized for the millions of Igbo brothers and sisters who lost their lives during the civil was due to malnutrition and other death related incidents during the civil war?. Has the Yorubas and Awolowo apologized to the South Eastern brethren for being a traitor and going back on their word to support Biafra?

You keep on making false assertments which has no right backing whatsoever. Where you there when Ifeajuna tipped off Zik that an imminent coupe was in progress. It was no news at that time Zik was the ceremonial head in Nigeria and one of his duty was to attend meetings, meet with dignitories locally and abroad. It was just pure coincidence and sheer luck he was out of the country when the coupe took place. The part about informing Zik is in it's absolutely ridiculous as Zik has always been a smart and intelligent man and I am sure if he had heard the news about an imminent coupe, he would have seen the danger of what it was going to do to the nation peace and try to avert it.

Did you also see the part where I wrote about when Ironsi and some other top military officers (name I can remember at the moment) has a visit with Balewa warning about the rumour of an imminent coupe and asked him for his cousel which he refused to give probably out of sheer ignorance or buffoonery, I'm not sure which. If Ironsi was one of the top mutineer of that first failed coupe, why would he take such a risk exposing his for government dominance and a possible investigation which might lead back to him if he were involved.

Like I said, a prominent overthrow of the government and seizure of power was imminent not regarding who was first going to plot the first coupe. It was to the dillema to the South Eastern brethren that the top orchestrators of the first coupe were of our brethren. If you were going to count each geopolitical zone involved in their mutinee in chronological other, you would get to notice that brethren from the middlebelts were more in numbers. When Aguiyi Ironsi became the supreme commander, his first task was put the country back into a state of serenity as at that time there was so tumoil and disaray going on. Also, he had to investigate who were the perpeterator of the first 1966 coupe. This takes time and not something you would come to conclusion in a second, before he could put and two together, the criminals had already fled and left the country if I understand right.

You also seem to forget that the original coupist plan was to murder all the top leaders including Ironsi himself. If he wasn't smart and brazzen, they would have been successful in taking his life too. I don't totally agree with you about Ironsi bringing the three zones into a unilateral government because I am not sure but if he did, it was an error on his past. This man had no experience in leading a nation, the only job he knows is to defend the nation and yet the mantle of leadership inadvertly fell into his hands since he was the most senior officer then. Being that inexperienced, he might have made some wrong policies that might have subconciously done more harm than good but later on when he was murdered and when Gowon later became the GOC, Ojukwu tried to restore things back in order. He tried to return Nigeria back the way we were, back to regional government where he tricked Gowon into signing a document during the Aburi accord in Ghana. It was your same brother Awolowo if I'm correct who adviced Gowon not to legitimatize that written document.

Go ask anybody and they would tell you thesame thing I just did.

[quote author=myners007 ]Pls my Phd obtained at the prestigious University of Birmingham wasnt a fluke, rather it was as a result of delligence and huge financial investment[/quote]Who gives a hoot if your alma mata is the prestigious Harvard University. Not me though!

BTW, you need go get a refund cause you're a fraud.

[quote author=myners007 ]you are finnicky bout everything and parochial to the extent that you can doubt if your are a progeny of your own parents[/quote]na me you wan use test if you sabi speak english?

[quote author=myners007 ]Most Nigerians are blinded to the beauty of classic art works.Monalisa painting is world famous because of the dual mood it depicts. if you are angry and you look at the portrait,it will give you that smile that will cheer u up. But when your are over excited or ur joyful mood is activated, looking at the portrait will attract a slight stern look from it that will help u check ur excessive excited mood. So whenever you see the Monalisa portrait"jst watch out for the way it will change your mood[/quote]What a load of bullcrap this is.