₦airaland Forum

Three Presidents, President Obama of america, President Hollande of france and President Jonathan of Nigeria went to a united nations conference, on their way back the boarded a plane and the pilot told them that when the reach their destination the should tell him
That's the statue of liberty of new york drop me Obama said, and the pilot dropped President Obama
It remained just President Jonathan and President francois hollande,
It was not long before President Hollande said,
That's the Eiffel tower of paris drop me, and the pilot brought the plane down and dropped him
Now it was remaining just President Jonathan of nigeria,How i go take sabi when we reach nigeria, he asked himself, okay he had an idea he told himself
He ordered the pilot to go down a little, then he took out his Ipad and held it outside the window, it was not upto 10minutes,when his ipad was snatched mid air ,
We are in Lagos, Pilot drop me,President Jonathan said

,what did Chinua achebe do that
has improved or will
improve your life, did he
create water?, no, did he
create the oxygen we
breathe ?no, was he
paying your school fees
before his dead?no, is he
the author of the english
dictionary?no,
So what did he achieve?
Answer:he wrote a book
and was biafra's
mothpiece during the civil
war
Question:did he run away
to a foreign country
Answer:yes
Question:did he talk ill of
a dead obafemi awolowo
Answer:yes
So lets stop exaggerating
his achievements, the only
thing he achieved was
writing a book and the
proceeds from it sale went
to his bank account

To all my enemies when i die
1)Na god go punish u if i die u come to chop rice for my burial
2)Na god go punish u if u waka come my burial with spoon for pocket were u go use chop item 6
3)na god go punish u if when u see my relatives at my burial, u will shed crocodile tears and claim that u missed a rare gem
4)na god go punish u if u waka come my burial without breakfast becos u know say rice and stew go dey very plenty for my burial occasion
5)na god go punish u if u come overfeed yourself for my burial food
6)na god go punish u if u drink till u are drunk for my burial beer
7)na god go punish u if u even come my burial sef

Garri right?

why am i not impressed?

Abegi make una leave to shed crocodile tears for this thread, for those saying we have lost a rare gem, una no go shut up,what did u he do that has improved or will improve your life, did he create water?, no, did he create the oxygen we breathe ?no, was he paying your school fees before his dead?no, is he the author of the english dictionary?no,
So what did he achieve?
Answer:he wrote a book and was biafra's mothpiece during the civil war
Question:did he run away to a foreign country
Answer:yes
Question:did he talk ill of a dead obafemi awolowo
Answer:yes
So lets stop exaggerating his achievements, the only thing he achieved was writing a book and the proceeds from it sale went to his account
Rest in peace mr achebe, till we meet again

Artistree: De-mented car-go...shey na u use dem do rituals ni?

uka ado demented cargo, adiok ono uka, ishie

Money ritual things on my mind

Judge: on the 21st day of january 1999, u Mr akpan was caught phucking a goat, an offence which carries 20yrs in jail with hard labour, akpan are u guilty or not guilty
Akpan:oga judge i only phuck the goat i no Kill T
Judge:and i ask again Mr akpan are u guilty or not guilty
Akpan:oga judge e be like say una wan give me case, i say na only goat i phuck, i no kill T

melorious4: Which type of tablet is been sold for 26k?

Panadol tablet

na poto shop

If na male
North kanye West
if na female
South Kanye West
If na hemaphrodite
East Kanye west

.Im in your shoes babe, i hate long things in my life, please call me, please send me recharge card,why didn't you call me today, why did u go offline when u saw me online on 2go, are u at home, just to mention a few of girls wahala.

one friendly country could be another man's hostile country, so to me that list is hogwash

Ogarnairaland: Secret cult in nigeria, 1 muslim/jihad, 2 Seadogs, 3 Axe, 4 vikings, 5 Mafia, 6 Klanz, 7 Eiye, there all kill, members ar also kill if they leave, dealings are are highly confidential, join me in fighting cultism in nigeria.

We talking terrorists here u talking nonsense.

[quote author=Warri _Pikin]Good job, my boys. We need to cut that oil flow. This type of cheating is just too much![/quote]no go find work do, dey dia dey find government money to chop.

How to make it in the niger delta
Step 1: gather some touts
Step 2:buy some guns and give them
Step 3:find a catchy name like mend, menda, mendi and give your group
Step 4:bomb a few oil installations or kidnap expatriate oil workers
Step 5:call a radio station or newspaper and claim responsibility
Step 6:no worry yourself, as far as is retardeen Gej that is in aso rock, your amnesty package worth atleast 1million dollars every month is assured

As a patriotic citizen of this country, i was vexed when i woke up on monday to read about the death of about 20 southerners due to a bomb planted by the dreaded bokoharam sect in a bus the boarded, may their soul rest in peace.
I also read of a catholic priest saying that out of the 52 catholic churches in borno state 50 has been consumed by boko bombs and 2 is remaining
Some northerners may claim that this bombings also affect their muslim brothers too and that bokoharam also kill muslims, but if we want to take a closer look at the statistics you will realise that bokoharam kills a few muslims for every hundred christians/southerners, which means that the are being used as collateral damage.
I'm no biafran or a biafran sympathiser but in my own opinion, i think that we should stop this scam, called one nigeria
If an hausa man cannot walk on the streets of onitsha without being afraid of being killed or an ibo man cannot walk on the streets of maiduguri without being afraid of boko bombs,why are we still deceiving ourselves by chanting slogans like one nigeria.
The amalgamation of the northern and southern prolectorate by Lord lugard in 1914, is the biggest mistake that ever happened to this country, This mistake caused us a civil war which claimed almost 1million lives ,and this mistake is still claiming many lives today.
I dont hate hausa, i dont hate igbos i dont hate yorubas i dont hate christians and i dont hate muslims, but when a hausaman or an igboman or a yoruba man or a christian or a muslim can't live comfortably or do business in any part of a country without being afraid of being killed, then that means that we are deceiving ourselves with the claim of one nigeria.
Nigeria must go, i don't know how, i don't know when, but one day just one day, nigeria will be history

ItsModella: My parents are mad that I call them once a week. They think I should be calling them everyday or once in 2 days. They don't seem to understand that I'm very busy with my studies and social life. So all you guys schooling abroad, how often do you call your parents?

.

.nice one but I hope say no be chinese tablets were no go last reach 3 months where them give them so,cos to me a mini laptop will have been a better option

and our mumu retarded, fool, foolish, scumbag,nincompop, mugu, shege, slowpoke, mad, retardeen oga at the top(gej) wants to give them amnesty.#worst president ever

11) Ashawo/runs girl:u go make money but if u no get luck u fit carry aids or gonorrhea, or man fit use u do ritual
12)Armed robber:U fit thief for 20yrs for lagos but one unlucky day may lead u to jail or police bullet go carry u straight to hellfire.
13)Okada rider:as lagos don ban okadas for major highways, if u are an okada man beware of were u dey enter or else na police or lastma go use u make money

.

na lord lugard cause dis nonsense

lacasa: if this. is true, then i pity the igbos in Kano alone, not to talk of the other states ω large igbo. Community like zaria n jigawa


#.. After all, the bomb killed both indegenes n non-indegenes.

abeg where sss dey we have a bokoharamist in our midst and the name is lacasa, he was responsible for yesterday's bomb blast in kano, anybody who has information about him should contact the army or police or sss,