₦airaland Forum

amsky:
tell the person to tie it to a tree or better still let himtie it to a wheel barrow

Not a bad idea but the anacoda will bite so he has to be careful

@ yimiton & stutanic

No need for insults. We're all adults

@ post

Booked a three week holiday in Paris for the both of us even after she refused to call me on valentine's day (couldn't reach her myself) but she got upset with me ova something trivial and changed her mind abt the holiday in the last minute.
Gs she wanted to split up and she got wht she wanted but I lost everything including "all the LOVE I had in me" to tht relationship. Cn only hope my nxt girlfriend doesn't  surfer as a result.

@ yimiton, keep bein smart

sperocloud:
well i think what goes around comes around. the person in concern should obey his heart. in my case i waould go for the person that loves me because i know i would learn to definately love her if u give my heart the chance for her to sink in me.

Obey his heart, The heart apparently tells him girl B is the one even though Girl A loves him more. From all indication, it appears girl B does love him but her pride hinders her from expressin it. more recently, she's beginnin to respond and it's easy to see tht she's fallen but the problem is tht my mate feels one of them will get hurt eventually. Girl A doesnt deserve to be heart broken from what I have seen of her and though no one deserves to be heart broken, he thinks he's chased girl B for too long to go bck especially now tht she's beginnin to respond.

@ Fabiyi

You're perfectly rte. Girl A is a proper housewife material and I wonder how he got himself into this mess but like i alrdy mentioned, girl B came into the picture when it seemed like the relationship with girl A was comin to an end but now, the relationship is stil very much alive. I think girl A is even more attractive so I doubt it's got anythin to do with appearance. the problem now is tht girl B is beginnin to respond and he feels either way one must get hurt. Both girls lik everyone of us have plus and minuses and I can confirm tht girl B is more interestin and exposed whereas girl A is very preserve and passive which means she comes second in terms of beginnin a conversation.

My mate is actually a nice guy and though he admits he's been unfair, I hate to think he's a playa. I can confirm tht he isn't sleepin with any of them.

@ vuitton.

I agree with u big time but assumin you dont grow to love and appreciate her. hvin tht in mind, my mate does share your view and think he wld be happy with girl A in the long term but since girl B's beginnin to fall (rem he loves girl B more), it's obvious tht one of them wld get hurt and though no one deserves to be heart broken, girl A deserves loads more than girl B.

@ poster.

Ensure there's a bta offer before u quit. Slippin a leta into her bag is not ideal. You lose your self respect. When the offer does come, tell her simply tht you are off. She either gvs u a bta offer to tempt you to stay or accept tht indeed she's lost a jewel. At the end of the day, there's no hint of any emotional bond. Stayin friends will be entirely up to her cz u wldnt mind.

This so-called men of God should p-lease shut up and stick to what they know best, defrauding innocent and naive nigerians of their hard-earn cash.

Once again, the posters intent is that we all work towards makin Nigeria great. Is there ntin wrong with tht? Does it really matter if it's a false profesy?

lol @ur quote.

I'll advise that u wait until he opens up, because u might just be misunderstanding him. Hey, remember as an African woman, u have your intergrity to protect.

Integrety to protect? ntin wrong in knowin your stand? At the end of the day, you love him. Protect ur integrity and let oppurtunities pass you by? He can only say yes or no but then it bcms a problem when he tells you neither but then, you've spoken ur mind. Fine its not ur style but you neva knw, I hate to say he may begin to see you more like a sister and then oneday, introduce his girlfriend to you.

Pray it doesnt happen cz I dont think you wld want tht unless you cldnt be bovad. I can sense you've got a strong personality.

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT, I THINK HE LIKE ME

MAYBE You AR NOT MAKING IT EASY FOR HIM WITH UR NONCHALANT BEHAIVIOUR, IF You LIKE AM, MAKE You SEF TRY , NOW, HABA

I agree wit u big time. Before you know it, someone else will catch his attention and he'd be gone. I guess you wldn't care less. It comes down to woman pride.

~swallow ur pride and let him knw what wht u think cz to be honest, you're preventin urself frm findin someone else.

I remember watching E.A Adeboye 'prophesing' at a RCCMG conference in 2002/2003 that Olusegun Osoba who at that time was seeking re-election for the office of governor of Ogun state, will win. His words were that God 'revealed' to him that "there was no vacancy in the governor's house, in Jesus name".

My take is this- Adeboye, I am very certain does not speak for God-atleast ever since Osoba lost that election to Gbenga Daniels!

@ Danmasani

Sorry mate, you're no body to judge. Don't get urself into trouble cz God do not joke with his annoited.

Nigeria will be great. Whether you think it's a false profesy or not, the poster's intent is that we work towards makin Nigeria great. With ur post, it's easy to see why many Nigerians hv given up hope on Nigeria becmin great. No offense meant, but I see no reason why you shd judge a renowned man of God. Leave tht to God, Please.

Nigeria will be great and I identify with the profesy.

What do we xpt from a 30 years old man? Lookin at the age, I think he's got genuine motives cz only a silly idiot wil want to stay a play boy at 30. Whether it's for your citizenship or not, you must realise that no one eva get married when the relationship is parasitic. Basically, you wont consider marryin him if he's a liability vice versa. Perhaps, it is more to do with your citizenship but at his age, its easy to see that he's willing to settle down and in the long term, it will only be of benefit to you both if you do marry him. Unless, he's got a secret grilfriend in Nigeria which he intends to marry. Even with that, it's not goin to be easy as it isn't a contract marriage. Mind you, should he return to Nigeria after his education (which will be the worst) he cld easily get a visa on application and I would think he'd cope fine even without the c_ship you fear he's after. At the end of the day, whether he's workin with someone elses' doc or not, his own docs are genuine and we would be deceivin ourself if we say this isn't common in the US.

Tell him your fears and trust your instinct but to be honest, I don't see any reason why you can't marry him unless indeed, you're not ready for marriage. (perhaps there's still a lot of things you wish to accompanish) but dont forget tht you not gettin any younger yourself

who's king of Naira land.

Wanna see who's posted more comments. The highest I've seen is 15000. Anyone beat this.

Lets see who the king or the queen is.

I take it that Girl B's pride and money consciousness is no biggie for him.
Why is he wasting his time?  She didn't give him a straight answer and he lets her  
He should push for a definite answer so he can get on with his life, however that goes

Does he have feelings for Girl A?  If he cares deeply for her, they could make a good team.
However, seems he thinks Girl B is more interesting. . .which could mean he might fall to more
scintillating company in the future. . .but that's not always the case.  He should think long and
hard about which to choose.  

@iice

He does have feelins for girl A and they get on fabulously and brilliantly well. Neva tot of the fact that girl B is more likely to fall to more scintillatin company in the future like you pointed out and I doubt he did. Fair to say it's not alwz the case which sorts of supports yimiton's comments but tht was a brilliant contribution.

@ur ans

Yimiton was spot on.

I take it that Girl B's pride and money consciousness is no biggie for him.
Why is he wasting his time? She didn't give him a straight answer and he lets her
He should push for a definite answer so he can get on with his life, however that goes

Does he have feelings for Girl A? If he cares deeply for her, they could make a good team.
However, seems he thinks Girl B is more interesting. . .which could mean he might fall to more
scintillating company in the future. . .but that's not always the case. He should think long and
hard about which to choose.

@iice

He does have feelins for girl A and they get on fabulously and brilliantly well. Neva tot of the fact that girl B is more likely to fall to more scintillatin company in the future like you pointed out and I doubt he did. Fair to say it's not alwz the case which sorts of supports yimiton's comments but tht was a brilliant contribution.

@ur ans

Yimiton was spot on.

btayo1:
I would advise you friend to stick to girl A; being a man; he needs his wife to love Him; because when he screws up; (as men are known to do) he could count on her love for him to save him. Also your friend has said he would be happy with them both and been the girl A for 12 years; many marriages does last that long.

From what I can perceive girl B; being proud and money conscious does not presently feel that your friend is upto her level yet but does see the potential in him-only bidding her time to see if the potential materialize or if a better suitor comes along . It is clear that girl B does is see your friend as mr right- but if time is running out she may take him on as mr right now; hence the chasing for 9years. (It´s mostly female thing- but can't blame her, as your friend is ofcourse borrowed from her books)

Also how is your friend able to keep this going for such a long time?

Spot on. This is exactly what I think. I mean exactly what I think but as Yimiton pointed out, he's likely to respect Girl B more but as u rightly observe, She does see my mate as someone with potential but I'm not sure if she's waitin for the potential to materialise but then, you can't be far from the truth as she's unwillin to commit to him just now (calling her special friend instead of boyfriend as my mate would xpt).

Funny to say my mate borrowed from her books but to be honest, he regrets eva tellin girl B he loves her as he expected either a Yes or a No but got neither in response when his relationship with girl A seemed to have ran its course but now, the relationship is still alive after so many years and can tell that they both care for each other deeply. It is probable that had girl B replied with an emphatic Yes, things would hv been different (though not sure). That is why I kind of think he's bein unfair to girl A which he admits but claims he needs advise especially as he think either way, a heart wld be broken.

Please keep the comments comin

On the issue on ground, I think your friend should marry the woman he loves. That is if she agrees to marry him, 
If he's afriad she might say no, it will be better to ask her first and then, deal with the problem if she refuses.
Once a woman is married, she's settled, she realizes that her world is built round her home, family and most importantly, her husband. So, she can't wonder around. Instead she'll learn to love her husband since she has no choice.
Once a woman likes you at all, it's easy to make her love you. Just be there for her without chocking her.

@ Yimiton

Fair comments but my mate have already told her he loves her but girl B is neither saying YES or NO and he fears pressin for a definite answer would make him loose her friendship altogether in an embarassin fashion afterall, Girl B have told him that she "cherishes" him and wld love to end up with him if the "friendship" continues that way. Can tell that my mate knws how to treat a girl well but to be honest, though he think he will be much happier with girl B due to reasons hinted in your comments, Girl B's reluctance to call him a boyfriend makes me qstion her love for him but from then, the bottom line is that girl A and girl B do love him, girl A loves him more, He loves girl B more and thats where the problem is.


@Btayo

Another fair comment and this is one reason why I am of the opinion that he sticks to girl A and I think he knows this quite well but Ironically, as Yimiton pointed out, I can say that He's likely to respect Girl B more as Girl B would not tolerate a fraction of what Girl A would tolerate which can't be bad as he's more likely to discipline himself but then, his problem like you recognise is that Girl B though claims to love him, her love doesn't compare to that of girl A. Perhaps, I should just tell him to forget about girl B. Mind you, he believes in the long term, he would be happy with either or them even though girl B seems to be assertive, more exposed/social and interesting where as, girl A is passive and more dependent on him especially for decision makin

On the issue on ground, I think your friend should marry the woman he loves. That is if she agrees to marry him,
If he's afriad she might say no, it will be better to ask her first and then, deal with the problem if she refuses.
Once a woman is married, she's settled, she realizes that her world is built round her home, family and most importantly, her husband. So, she can't wonder around. Instead she'll learn to love her husband since she has no choice.
Once a woman likes you at all, it's easy to make her love you. Just be there for her without chocking her.

@ Yimiton

Fair comments but my mate have already told her he loves her but girl B is neither saying YES or NO and he fears pressin for a definite answer wld make him loose her friendship altogether in an embarassin fashion. Can tell tht my mate knws how to treat a girl well but to be honest, though he think he will be much happier with girl B due to reasons hinted in your comments, Girls B's unwillingness to commit to him even though she claims to love him (yet sees him as a "special friend" instead of a boy friend) makes me think it will be somewhat difficult for him to take ur advise.

@Btayo

Another fair comment and this is one reason why I am of the opinion tht he sticks to girl A and I think he knows this quite well but Ironically, as Yimiton pointed out, I can say tht He's likely to respect Girl B more as Girl B wld not tolerate a fraction of what Girl A wld tolerate which cant be bad as he's more likely to discipline himself but then, his problem like you recognise is that Girl B though claims to love him, wld not commit to him. Perhaps, I shd just tell him to forget abt girl B. Mind you, he believes in the long term, he wld be happy with either or them even though girl B seems to be assertive, more exposed/social and interesting.

Pepeye:
Definitely stick with the one who loves him more or at least who cares about him and he’s feelings not someone who has an indifferent air around him and who is money conscious might be only there when the going is good. Marriage is a long term thing it’s not all about fun….

Love your school of tots Pepeye but would u rather end up with someone who's interesting and vocal or someone who though not boring is preserved bcs He's scared of hurtin u. Apparently, Girl A will never say anythin in the form of an insult as a joke e.g, "You no well", I mean as a joke bcs she finds it disrespectful. This makes her passive and short of words whereas, in addition to being assertive, Girl B is very open and would say offensive things not necessary as a joke (perhaps as a result of her pride).

Dont knw exactly how u'd luk at this but the bottomline is that Girl A obviously likes him more and I can tell that, he does have a feelin for girl A. However, In the long term, he feels he would be much happier with girl B bcs she's more lively, more interestin and more social yet, she fails to commit herself to him and thts wht the problem is.

Ndipe:
@Eclairs, correction

Through Christ Jesus, nothing is impossible!

I meant anything is possible through Christ. Gs there's nofin wrong with that. Perhaps you fot I meant "nothing". ~Well, thanks for the correction, though We're sayin the same thing.

Keep the comments coming.

Bein Born again is a convenant btw ye and thy creator. It's abt havin and maintainin a relationship with thy creator. Thy creator fufils His side of the convenant and xpts you to fufil yours.

@poster

It may be hard to let go the worldly things but the truth is that no earthly being can be 100% committed to God unless God allows it. (stand to be corrected). Begin by gettin into a relationship wit thy creator and try through His grace to maintain the relationship. There's a limit to what humans can do but through Christ Jesus, ntin is possible.

yimiton:
Making decision is always complicated but made worse when people double date.

On the issue on ground, I think your friend should marry the woman he loves. _{That is if she agrees to marry him.}.
If he's afriad she might say no, it will be better to ask her first and then, deal with the problem if she refuses.
Once a woman is married, she's settled, she realizes that her world is built round her home, family and most importantly, her husband. So, she can't wonder around. Instead she'll learn to love her husband since she has no choice.
Once a woman likes you at all, it's easy to make her love you. Just be there for her without chocking her.

But if this man marries the woman that loves him and he doesn't really care about, it will be almost impossible for him to be faithful and he'll end up hurting his family. He'll not respect her and will not really care about her.

conclusively, it's ok for a woman to marry a man whom she's not really crazy about but a man should marry a woman only if he's totally into her and loves her to death.
Remember, even the bible says 'husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her'

Nice contribution I must confess but the truth of the mata is that He has already told girl B he loves her with the hope she would say Yes or No so he knws where he stands but the response he got was neither a No or a Yes as far as he's concerned. "Lets see how it goes, if the friendship continues like this, I do not see why it can't lead to marraige". I have told him this is a Yes but as the girl in question addresses him as a special friend (not as a boyfriend/lover), he thinks it's an indirect No. The good thing's they still get on really well but sadly my mate doesnt knw his position as far as girl B's concerned and feels he's made a mistake for asking in the first place.

many thanks.

More contributions plzzz. Reasonable and sensible contribution so far. Wld invite him to come and read them. Appears we all have different views.

an abbre for Bleep

what has a bottom on its top

I would think he's come to naira land for help and instead of gainin help, he's being insulted and sworn at. No one is perfect and can see that there're many hypocrites in the house. Post helpful comments or say nothing cz we all hv our shortcomings at the end of the day, it takes two to tangle.

@poster

Sad it al happened but wld advice you take it as a man and do the right and responsible thing. It's a mistake by the two of you and believe things cld be sorted out amicably since you've bodly accepted you've done her wrong. At the end of the day, if it wldnt work btw you both, there's nothing anyone can do abt it. I believe that God almighty in His infinite mercies will gv u the strength to do the write thing. Keep praying.

No mind those people wey dey swear for you. Black pots calling the Kettle black

Dont know if this has already been discussed but thought I wld throw it to the house cz I wish to knw which is more ideal.

To get married to the one you love or the one tht loves you.

A mate has been leading a girl on for 12yrs girl A and at the same time chasing another girl for 9yrs girl B and has come to me for advice as to what he shd do. I have told him to stick with the one tht loves him as the one he loves have been playing hard to get.

He reckons he will be happy with the both of them in the long term but girl B is more interesting and fun to be with. However, girl A is more loyal and selfless whereas girl B is quite money concious and proud from his observation.

The true picture is tht girl B is unwilling to commit to him as she thinks the friendship cld well develop into the relationship he desires if he's patient and admits tht he's her ideal man yet, Girl A has told him it's him or nobody and appears to be the one that loves him more.

The problem now is lettin girl A go with the hope tht girl B will say YES eventually. What if she doesn't? He looses on both sides. I've told him he's bein unfair on girl A which he admits but needs advice. Shd be left to sort out his mess but any helpful contribution will be appreciated

[Well everyone thanks for the advice.I'am going to be asking her tommorow on a casual date with her (Freind Date).Were going to the movies and dinner.If you have any more advice that would be great!!!!!!!!!!

Wish me luck ]

I hope it went well .

[Well everyone thanks for the advice.I'am going to be asking her tommorow on a casual date with her (Freind Date).Were going to the movies and dinner.If you have any more advice that would be great!!!!!!!!!!

Wish me luck ]

Gud luck

Not surprised to hear this and dnt think there's anything wrng with u. I'm a victim myself. Dumped afta 3yrs bcs I was damn "too nice". Now I am single and al I want to do is to remain single cz I realise boys who treat girls like shit tend to get the nicest of girls these days. I hope you knw wht u doin. and pray it doesnt cm back to hurt you. The boy respected you and depended so much on ur decision. ntin wrong with tht. Apz u wnt the one who will boss u around. Be patient, tht one is on the way then u'd knw the importance of adaptin to make the most of what u've got.

enof of this. whats the aim of this argument? if u claim d bible is contradictory, then leave it to xtians to decide tht. Its non of ur business. There's no point tryin to attack people's religion when in honesty, you as an individual is not a perfect being. Nonsense

disagree with it. Marriage is a risk. There is no minimizing this. Prenups are an illusion of protection. Anyhow, if a man is afraid to trust me then I'm afraid of him.


I agree with u 100000000 % homegirl. u took the words right out of my mouth. I couldnt have said it better myself.

Hear yourself, why shd you be afraid of him if your conscience is clean?
Everyone has a right to protect their own. At the end of the day, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Take your property and let me take my property. It's as simple as tht.

Have neva been the one to support Prenup cz I think it questions the relationship but with your comments, I have changed my mind. You must sign, or take your leave. Its not by force.

There's no saint around these days. I guess you know tht.

Its great to know there's HOPE considerin the GRACE thts sufficient for us al but how do u encourage a fellow whose going gets tougher. It's easy to say the fellow should get goin but when things are goin from bad to worse, does it mk sense to think that God has deserted the fellow for good. We knw that God is willin to forgv our tresspasses but how do we know he has forgiven our trespasses when following genuine repentance, everything tend to be going against you.

See u abt mkin a mstake. Wld advise you remain a christian as more and more people are turnin into christians not the other way round.

Pros and cons? No disrespect to n religion but christianity has more to offer

Thanks

I Understand you points but the question is, Is there still chance. the individual is willin to make a change but it feels like he let himself down time and again and feels he doesnt deserve life as he keeps goin back to his "vomit"

Is there still chance