₦airaland Forum

Thanks outstrip!! Will get back to u soon.

Winnergal:
check out this link . . .

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-263255.0.html

That woman looks scary and disgusting. For what now?

Ejadamen:
Wow I have been duly educated. Where can one get such lovely shapewear in Nigeria?

No answer?

Fhemmmy:
Marriage is a commitment to another witnessed by others [size=18pt]written on papers[/size]:
u can be committed to your Man without the papers.
There are people around your place that see u and him everyday and that means they are witness to you and your man's union.
I think the paper is what most people are marrying for.
Well, at least now i know that you marry cos of God, and not really cos of you or cos of your husband.

Duh! I was trying to define marriage. I disagree but you are entitled to your opinion. I don't want to even begin a debate on what you just wrote. Or let me, what do you mean? That I walked up to my husband and said let's marry cos God said so? There are many things that lead to and make up a marriage but no need mentioning them as that also would be subject to debate. Now that I understand how you view marriage, there's no need to debate because i doubt that we shall agree.

Fhemmmy:
hahahahaha, u have answered the question already.
it means you only did it cos God said, it is a good thing, dont get me wrong oh, cos i blv so much in God as well.
So that means you did not get married for you, but for others, and for God.
i don catch you

No. Why would I marry for others? I married because I wanted to.   I'm wondering why the emphasis on the word marriage. What is marriage? A commitment to another person witnessed by others, written on paper blah blah blah. Why slug marriage simply because of the negatives one has witnessed? I cannot understand that but I rest my case. I cannot see or imagine God ever saying have fun outside marriage or abolishing marriage so no kain. Maybe that makes me narrow mided. I like marriage and I would encourage people to marry.

OAM4J:
The highlighted to me is the reason why you and many people are still getting married. And I know so many people are very religious. Honestly remove the highlighted, I don’t think it worth it.

Ah but that is your opinion I think it is worth it.

Fhemmmy:
This is why i always like to read your posts.
Now lemme put a different twist to this.
Let us assume that God now decided that He wont mind you having fun without marriage, he wont mind yuo having kids without marriage, and he said, how we can just have fun and all that.
WILL YOU DO ALL YOU HAVE DONE WITHOUT MARRIAGE?

You're trying to put words in my mouth. It won't work. When God says that then I shall follow.

Fhemmmy:
That is very true, but can still be answered, and most people lived by examples and learn by it, and if most of what we see in marriages are nonsense and people making a mess of it, why would one still wanna get into it.

That is all great and happy for you.
But here is my question to you.
1. Is it not possible to have still love the same man without being married to him?
2. Is it not possible to live together and have kids without marriage?
3.It is not possible to achieve dreams together? BTW i have noticed that in relationships, dreams is always not the way it was while you were single, cos someone else is now involved, especially when it is not possible to handle both dreams at same time.
I have noticed that couple tends to live one person's dream while the dream of the other party is left to wait.
4. What made it right? You, society or parental views? who defined the wrong and right?

It is a person's choice to go into marriage, wondering why on people's behalf is like taking paracetamol for someone else's headache. Yes some people are making a mess of it, but if a person decides to marry then i think the person should go into it with the determination to make it work which includes marrying for the right reasons in the first place.

To answer your questions:
1. Yes it's possible to love a man without being married to him
2. It is possible, in fact it is being done but like I said I am religious and I firmly believe this should be done in marriage.
3. Some couples manage to achieve their dreams together but they would have to learn to balance things. Marriage involves the man and woman wearing many hats so balance is important. Yes the situation you described happens but I think that compromise should be made by both partners.
4. A bit of all you mentioned and God

IMO, you sound like you think people shouldn't marry probably because of the alternatives available. I think it boils down to a person's perception and belief. Marriage is an old institution so old I doubt it can fade away. Despite the negatives observed, some people still have faith in it even respect for it. That, I think, is why people still marry.

Wow I have been duly educated. Where can one get such lovely shapewear in Nigeria?

I think, may she have a safe delivery.

@ OP, why do WE marry is a difficult question to answer because you are asking for a general answer to an individual question. I think a person can only say why they got married/they want to get married. General answers like societal expectations etc have no bearing on this as marriage is an individual thing. Also there is nothing on this earth that is not abused so looking at people who are making a mess of their marriages/families should not rule out marriage as an institution. One cannot just say it is better not to marry, what of all the people who have wonderful marriages. Marriage was working once, that the negatives are now outweighing the positives means that something has gone wrong. It's like saying it's better not to have kids.

That being said, this is MY answer, MY opinion and why [b]I [/b]got married. I got married because I love my husband, I desired to live with him, have his kids, achieve our dreams and share our lives together. To do this I needed to get married as God has declared in the bible. Yes I am religious with no apologies. Others might be enjoying all this without "getting married" but to me that would not be right. And so far it has been working just fine for me. So I did it for myself and because God said so.

pcicero:
This is not really a job to be excited about. I am talking from experience. I was there for 4 yrs. The whole MA group stinks. People don't like the truth being said because it hurts.
My advice for the lady, enjoy your time there and save as much as you can to go for further studies if you want to or get yourself out as soon as you can.
Your salary is 50-50 for real. Your salary might come late sometimes if the Chairman travels to Togo or Kenya for Glo-CAF awards. You just got in and nobody would be the harbinger of bad tales to say unpleasant things about the job you are so excited about.

Very soon, you will realize that the car they promised you as a sales person will never come. Since, you are a lady, You might find your name jumping the list to get a new car from the Chairman ahead of those who have been on the waiting list for 5 years and it is only if you're eye-catching enough .

You will also discover that the HR is only friendly when getting in as the simplest inquiry from an HR person might turn out to be a nightmare, they are never helpful.
And if you think you have ideas, then forget about anything you might have learnt in school as your ideas will never count, save it for your next employer. There are so many sycophants there, they know the truth but prefer boot-licking and back-stabbing, watch out for them.
I wonder sometimes why the company employs the brightest brains only to turn them to morons.

A friend still in Globacom, just left my place now complaining bitterly about everything. I told him the real name of the company is Globa-con.
I've said enough for now,

Everything this guy said is true but experience has shown that people won't believe until they enter. That's why as many disgruntled staff are leaving, many people are eager to jump in only to finally realize wetin dey happen Abeg pciciero, okito, breathless and the rest don't discourage anyone. Let the lucky ones go in and see. The only thing holding people in that company is the money but at the end of the day one gets to realize that job satisfaction is on a higher scale than big salary.
Congrats pushkin.

Are you for real? No qualification requirements?  

clemcykul:
beans and plantain is a must eat, try it poster and u will forget your name

I just dreamed of it this afternoon. It's going to be my lunch tomorrow. _drool

I need a 2 bedroom flat in Enugu as quickly as possible. My budget is 150k - 200k. I need a place that has water or easy access to water and that is secure.

All this advocating,if e wan enter e go enter

chaircover:
From my own personal experience I will say NO . . never again.

My husband didnt manage to make it to hospital with in time with my second and I had my daughter within 15 minutes of getting to the hospital with no fuss and no pain releif at all.

The first was a different story and he was nearly fainting, throwing up, arguing with the midwife, he was distracting and because he was scared & nervous, I became scared too. In the end the midwife chased him out

I think that happened because it was the first time. Next tme around, I 'm sure he'll be more composed.

Yes, why not?

Bread, blackcurrant jam, 1 boiled egg and hot chocolate

Fhemmmy:
There u go. . . . have fun jare

Thanks.

No idea, been thinking of resuming. I have a nice voice and it's just rusting. I shall try it tonight.

I used to but stopped.

Rice and stew, biscuit flakes will follow in a bit.

Warm water.

Fhemmmy:
i remember when i was growing up and we used to buy beans and the mama will put more water and we will spread gari on the beans and that will soak the water on the beans.
Nija knows how to manage jare.

Never liked that one. What I meant was beans in one plate, soaking ijebu garri with cold water and sugar,if you like, in a bowl or cup

Try it with ijebu garri

Pounded yam and egusi soup with correct okporoko.

[quote author=THE-AMAKA link=topic=283418.msg4881603#msg4881603 date=1257652849]Chocolate Chip cookies.
M&M cookies (similar to chocolate chip)
White Chocolate Chip
Sugar Cookies
Waffers covered in chocolate[/quote]Seems we love the same biscuits. I'm drooling just remembering them.

Patiently waiting for rice and dodo.

Fhemmmy:
u like better food sha. . . . next time cook some soft corn with it and add some sugar to the corn while boiling it, and if you know how to cook broccoli too, try it with it and you will be seeing the throne of heaven

My mum's visiting so I have no control over what I eat for now but I'll keep that in mind.

@ topic, boiled yam and vegetable sauce with a cup of hot chocolate

white rice and fish stew with water.

eba, egusi soup and dried fish.

Norrin.