₦airaland Forum

This is why it is good to plan and harmonise, during planning sometimes the mothers can go over board and this causes conflicts, the food taken by the mother in law should not have mattered if they both had smooth pre wedding plans. Even at that the wife should not have done what she did, she should have let it go, it's just food.

The mother in law too should not have been violent.



This whole thing shows there was a lot of tension planning the wedding and it was just what made the whole tension scatter

While I may understand women who accept abuse from their husbands I don't understand women who won't protect their kids.

He will make your child afraid of learning or making mistakes.

You need to stand up for your child not by quarelling in front of the child but by talking to him about discipline, he has an anger management issue and he needs to understand that and get help before somebody gets hurt

Sadgirl1281:
I now understand what you mean and where you are coming from. I agree with you. I guess I was or doing all these things so that when I eventually stop if it’s still there no one both on my family side and his would be able to use anything against me.

There will always be something to use against you, that is what everybody is telling you. That is how manipulative people behave, unfortunately because you are indulging him he won't know he has an issue or work to correct it

Sadgirl1281:
I hope it wouldn’t get worse by me not ever being physical again but also limiting my words more like insults but I would still be myself and one day, we would remember this incident he did and caused me.

I decide to walk away now, what impression does that give me? Violent woman? Woman that pushed her husband? Etc

This is what you don't understand, it is not about only you, he is manipulative, tomorrow it will be your silence that will be the problem. You both have issues but he has manipulated you to be the only one to take responsibility and you will be walking on egg shells not to get him upset again.

Nobody says walk away, we say ignore him too let him also understand you both did wrong and you need work but sadly you are a little desperate and he knows that and fully exploits it

ImaIma1:
You should understand that some couples agree that the wife should stay home and bring up the kids. Some men will tell you that they don't want their wives to work but to take care of the kids. I know someone who is on a salary from her husband to stay at home.

Each household with their peculiar way of running things. And the man is not supposed to intimidate the woman because she decided to stay home probably against what she would've wanted.

I do not subscribe to it though but if that is their agreement, both parties have to perform their end of the deal.

I agree and this is a good thing but it doesn't seem the case here

The video below is a radio program on Human Rights Radio, The Presidents Chief of Staff is being accused of a contract scam.

The person alleging says Abba Kyari is his brother or cousin and supposedly awarded him a contract to supply hilux gave him papers to sign, got him to pay the bid sums and then took the contract for himself.

He reported to the police and the police officer investigating as well as the accuser were illegally detained by DSS.


It is a long video, if you have the patience to listen you will understand the rot we are in. I hope The Chief of Staff can deny this or some sort of response because this is not going well

It is well with Nigeria.


https://video-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t42.9040-2/10000000_2155123648080132_270734036597473280_n.mp4?_nc_cat=1&efg=eyJ2ZW5jb2RlX3RhZyI6InN2ZV9zZCJ9&oh=7eb410232ceba195509d969d895cbb60&oe=5B8D1CBD

I am happy somebody is finally calling out Mikes irresponsible behavior, is condom a sin? Apart from having babies up and down what about STDs? You just get a woman pregnant then move on to be having unprotected sex with a different woman sometimes same night haba. Yet he wants a happy ending.

I think he needs to step up and take more responsibility for the kids he keeps producing that is the way a serious woman will take him serious. I don't care about what he does with the women but you have to provide for kids you produce no matter how rich their mothers are, if you cannot provide financially provide physical care regularly.

addictiv:
She's in for a bumpy ride.

We can only wish her well and pray he somehow changes

ImaIma1:
Your comments are rather bias and harsh towards women especially "Nigerian women" like we have all been blacklisted for whatever reason. That is why i said what i said.

As i said, buying foodstuffs is not the problem. The problem is doing so to avoid giving money to his wife. If she is a housewife, it was probably their joint decision. If he cannot provide, he should let her work.

No where stated that he didn't let her work. Why does she need to be allowed to work? Is she not an adult? Can she not make her own decisions?


While I know the economy is not smiling and jobs are hard to come by please women need to stop hiding under '' he won't let me work "

Sadgirl1281:
Trust me when I say I know these things. I am even shocked. But what will the world say or what they see, what he is holding on to and people see is I was physical. I pushed him so it surpasses all things. Trust me I want to give up but since the aim is to bring him back home at least and for peace to reign. Hopefully with time, the tables would turn.

Sadly the tables won't turn. It will get worse and he will exploit your fear of what people will say to continue to manipulate you next time it will be worse

addictiv:
This is a power grab... Dont fall for it or else you will regret it in future. You have a manipulative man who will use your weakness against you.. He'll even make you reveal those weaknesses and then turn around to hang you with it. Dont do anything, just be mature and objective. Focus on yourself and your work and he will come around on his own.

Sadly she has refused to see this despite male and female posters telling her, she just wants him back to avoid what people will say

At least 30 Nigerian soldiers died in combat with Boko Haram terroris who overran a military base in the northeast near the border with Niger, two military sources told AFP on Saturday.

Scores of jihadists in trucks stormed the base at Zari village in northern Borno state late Thursday and briefly seized it after a fierce battle, they said.



“They came in large numbers in trucks and carrying heavy weapons and engaged soldiers in a battle that lasted for an hour,” a military officer said.

“We lost at least 30 men,” the officer said, adding that the attack took place at around 4:00 pm.

“They overwhelmed the troops who were forced to temporarily withdraw before reinforcements arrived,” said the officer who asked not to be named because he was not authorised to speak.

Boko Haram has intensified attacks on military targets in recent months.

The attacks appear to undermine repeated claims by the military that Boko Haram had been defeated.



The militants took weapons and military equipment before they were pushed out of the base by troops with aerial support, said a second military source who gave a similar death toll.

The militants were pursued and bombarded by a fighter jet, said the military sources.

“The terrorists also suffered heavy casualty from the bombardment”, one of the military officers said.

Zari is located 30 kilometres (20 miles) from the town of Damasak on the border with Niger.

https://dailynigerian.com/boko-haram-kills-30-nigerian-soldiers/

Sadgirl1281:
Thank you. I would try, I just can’t help it. Imagine them having a family function, all of them together full house and I’m there... I used to be free before, imagine all eyes on me looking at me like violent wife, bad wife etc

I remember when the Mum spoke to me how she said she was shocked and disappointed in me, a young, pretty woman would push her husband and all.

Can't you just stay away from functions for the time being? Why are you torturing yourself?

I wish you the best as you work to win him back.

PurestBoy:
Thanks for the wonderful information, I really appreciate, do we have to stop giving that because he seems to like it, any health complications that might arise now or in the future and is Golden morn responsible for the hyperactivity in his elder brother?

I doubt it is responsible for the hyperactivity but processed foods are damaging enough already to start giving a child processed food that is not meant for their age may negatively affect them later.

grafixdon:
If you can't proffer any meaningful solution just shut up already. Stop putting more fire. Sadist like u

Sorry

thorpido:
You DID it.It was DONE but you need to move from that.You have apologised to him and probably did to his family members too.Can't he(and them) move on from that?
It is not like you've done some unheard of thing in marriage,some have done worse(not supporting violence) but have resolved it and reconciled.
The question again is,does he really love you?

It's a power trip thing, he knows she needs him to come back so she will do anything he demands no matter what and he is exploiting it.

I wish she had more boldness to call his bluff. I would understand if he had zero tolerance for violence and wasn't doing the relationship again but it is clear he is just manipulative

Sadgirl1281:
Eketem If I had my way and choice, I would have just left and walked away after all, I still have his family to face even if everything works out though the Mum has called me to even check on me and sympathize with me and advise me.
But imagine, his brother, sister, dad etc when I visit them how they would be looking at me ‘cos only God knows what and how he said to them.

I wish I could just walk away or ignore but I can’t..All eyes on me.

This is sadly the problem he knows you care about what people say and want him back hence the manipulation.


I am not saying walk away, I am saying let it be, he should also want the marriage

Sadgirl1281:
Very Cold Reply. This is unfair. And what mind games am I playing?

It is your husband I was talking about playing mind games. Calm down didn't mean to hurt you.

I find it very manipulative and controlling, I wouldn't put up with it but if you are willing to then I was wishing you the best while you hopefully find a way to make this work. Sadly I have a feeling that it may just get worse

PurestBoy:
I just checked now, no where written. I guess there are two type or can you send me a picture of where that is written?

A mail from Nestlé and it's on their new pack not the old ones.


Hello Peterwins. Thanks for your comment on Nestlé Golden Morn. I’m Iquo Ukoh from Nestlé Nigeria.

We apologise for the confusion caused by the information which was added to the product label in June, 2012. The product was labelled as “Golden Morn is not an infant cereal. Not suitable for children below 3 years” as a precautionary measure because it is not formulated as an infant or weaning cereal.

We have decided to modify the label to avoid any further inconvenience. We continue to clearly mention it is not an infant cereal.

We always communicate information that help consumers make informed purchasing decision and we encourage our consumers to choose a variety of foods to meet daily nutritional requirements.

You desperately want him back and he knows it and will milk it. I wish you both the best in the mind games not a fan.

Give him time and space. He also needs to want the marriage and take responsibility for his part in the fight.


I find the demands a little manipulative, let him too want to come back to the marriage and also understand that verbal abuse should not continue. I assure you that if you fall in this trap he will continue to belittle you until you snap

PurestBoy:
Are you sure about this because the younger brother of a year and few months takes only pap-milk and golden morn. When I get home I'll study the instruction. That one too is getting hyper active and now I'm having headache having to deal with 2 active kids. Sometimes I wish God had given us girls but I'm most grateful because they don't fall sick which would have drilled hole in my already dry pocket.

Read the package it clearly says for kids 3 and above

No excuse for violence regardless of provocation, either walk away or zone out or record the verbal abuse.


That being said, apologise for pushing him, you both should see a counselor to move forward without verbal or physical violence

You are asking for opinions but you refuse to listen to people advising you how you got this wrong.

Imagine she just came up to you with some cream and told you she was not satisfied with your sex life.
You need to go and apologize to her and calm down when she feels better you both can find a joint solution, please don't buy anything for her to insert it us dangerous and will harm her

See a gynecologist especially as you may want more kids, don't buy any concoctions

Acidosis:
Nothing is wrong about playing the role of a full time house wife.

Many people won't get jobs. More would go into business to avoid what people like you would say, but end up with losses. To avoid closing shop, more will pump more money to the business and continue to lose, just to "keep body and soul together".

With understanding, playing the role of a fulltime house wife at some point of a woman's life can be mutually beneficial. If staying at home will enable families save cost, then I'm in total support. Most of the time, staying at home save costs.

You are so right on this, the shaming of non working women is sad, not everybody is good with business.
However there has to be some financial plan not a sense of entitlement and daily demands for money like the poster. I don't think she is telling the whole truth most times when men start acting this way there must have been mismanagement of funds in the past.


I think however that women who want to go into business must find their passion, settle down and learn the business first before jumping head on Just so they can be seen as doing something.

It is the same thing he is still doing now, hand over the running to his corrupt cronies and enjoy the accolades and benefits of power while doing nothing and having no understanding of the processes.

Tomorrow when allegations like this come along he will say he is not aware

Poster you should have sort clarification from the doctor I assumed you went together.

What would have happened to your wife if you came and people started saying ignorantly that the baby is not your own? Would you have gone to attack her?
If he had asked during Antenatal he would be more concerned about the fact that she is loosing fluid which keeps the baby alive and comfortable at such an early stage, this usually happens at week 38 or 39 when it will be okay to take the baby out not now. She should be in the hospital being monitored to prevent any emergency

Always ask the right questions at antenatal

Bad day for hailers, Great day for the rest of us, now let's see the primaries, finally an intelligent president

Butterflylleo:
Sarrki you are a Buharist to the bone.

Oya take

But the second pictures shows APC UK chapter not Benue. Why the false information? Myndd 44 broken rule

Elder001:
Gentleman and so so so. ..do you assume all women are gentle ? I've been hearing the word "gentleman" for over 27years.
Using this logic, only men can be ungentle?


Cc eketem

No some women are horrible beings. Being "ungentle" is not gender specific but I think the post is to promote good stories about men instead of the nasty ones flying around

They are sacrificing to give you a better future and you are trying to eat your future now because the economy is bad. You will finish the money in a few months, Buhari will still be president the economy will still be bad and you will not have the added advantage of a masters to get a better paying job.

Don't eat your tomorrow today

I may be wrong but I think you are being economical with the truth.

I think he provides enough food but you want him to bring the money directly so you can divert to other things


I believe in the past he may have been giving you money for these things and you didn't use it judiciously hence the distrust.



You seem to think as marriage as some financial plan where you just relax and everything you want or need is provided and even extra to share with your family
You should have some plan for your own self because you have a househelp so I don't think there is anything stopping you from doing small business, all the money you get from his sister you could have started even small pure water business or even learn to bake and be selling, no matter how small it is better than this one where you expect him to produce money every day for different things or something different you want to eat


While your husband should support with basic needs you too have to show that you are financially responsible but your actions do not show this sadly.


Start something small so you can support your mother