[SHES NOT SELF ABSORBED!quote author=LordKO post=98243974]You're in a loveless marriage. It doesn't matter whether you're the reason why your husband doesn't love you, or he didn't achieve self-realization before marrying you; however, his actions and inaction show that he regrets getting married to you, citing your submission. So, the problem in your marriage didn't start from the point you made your choice to have your biological mother to visit - which under normal circumstances shouldn't have caused a problem, even if he's unfavorably disposed to the idea - the problem only reared up its ugly head from that point.

He's a man who hasn't conquered himself ethically and mentally, thus the reason why he's a slave to native doctors - the native doctors aren't the problem, but him. He isn't fit enough to lead himself, least of leading another grown-up in particular and a family in general. It doesn't matter whether he's of good financial and academic standing. By the way, your shortcomings are glaring; strive to be less self-absorbing.[/quote]

[Dont mind some of the responses u got here,many are young unmarried,they lack experience,and they are here blaming u.

Wat ur feeling perfectly normal.I would feel and do worse if married to a man like ur husband.ur husband seems like he's of choleric temperament.hes a stubborn, cold, hardhearted,unemotional,man.


.I doubted if he truly loves u, well,I would say pray first,it's starts with prayer first,ask God to Change him,to give him a soft heart,and ears that listens to his wife..then talk to people he respects,they should help advice him .Try to see a marriage counselor quickly because ur husband needs to learn the art of compromise.very essential in marriage... finally show him love, keep being loving,patient, sweet and kind to him,when u're in bed together while he's trying to touch you,u can speak to him gently about how his attitude and actions hurt u..this coupled with prayers will help you.Its only six years and ure sad, unhappy,.what's gonna happen when it 10-15 years down the lane?

I wish u the best of luck maam.ledyersunseling...wuotevejoye forget the errors and focus on the content.

So here's my issue.

I've been married for 6yrs and it's been a blissful journey- of course with minor issues here and there but nothing to worry about until May 5th 2020 when I'd say things turned upside down.

We live abroad and struggled to have kids but God finally blessed us with a beautiful daughter in Sept 2019. Child care being super expensive here, we wanted one of our moms to come help us with the baby when I return to work after my maternity leave. So on the eve of our wedding anniversary which was the 4th of May last year, I asked my husband for the say 10th time about beginning the procedure of bringing a mom over to help since I'll be returning to work. He asked which mom and I said in my exact words; "of course my mom" because I know that when a woman gives birth, her mom usually go to help her. Did that change our story? My God, marriage has been one hell of a thing since that day.

My husband said I am selfish, disrespectful, and want to dominate him. He said things will never be the same again and since then, my marriage has been a stress zone.

My husband is numb to my feelings. He's been ignoring me, I've been a nag I'll admit since tue incident last year. I now talk alot and mostly complain about everything whenever we are together. It's sad and I've actually had conversations with myself to ignore him and stop nagging but I continue to do it, I need help on how to shut up and observe.

I can cry from now to die kingdom come and this man wouldn't be moved. He cannot shift his stance because of me at all. He does whatever he likes and disregard everything I say. E.g before this crisis, we had an appointment to see our Dr to start trying for baby number two because the Dr's advised that since we just had a baby, it's best to try for another soonest given that we had challenges conceiving the first one. This man cancelled the appointment with our Dr and has blatantly refused to start trying for a baby right now. He says when the time comes he'll let me know. Up till now the time has not come despite the fact that delaying may impact our chance of conceiving again. What a life!� � �.

Also, he has decided that no parent will come and I'm back to work already. My poor baby who use to sleep till 9am now suffer in this winter getting up at 6am to be dropped off at daycare all because her father is angry and want to make sure he doesn't do anything that will make his wife smile. He'll rather spend thorns of money paying for daycare even after I've told him that I don't mind his mom coming. Mind u, I have a very good relationship with my inlaws, especially my mom inlaw so it's not an inlaw fight.

The worst of them all is that despite living abroad for 17yrs, this man believes so much in native doctors to the extend that I can't even explain. Infact it's something that I've always fought him about and talked against. I've even complained about it to his family. And guess what, when I talk against, he tells his native drs who of course has ignited the fire in our home. Can you believe that in this chaos this man took me on a vacation in August last year that he wanted to clear his mind so we can start a new chapter and be happy again only to tell me that I have been trying to use a charm on him in the past months thats why things got rough. He said the 3 women I am using appeared to him but he is stronger ����. I am laughing because I felt pity and ashamed for him. How can a grown man be this vulnerable to suitsayers? I have never in my entire life visited a native doctor for myself not to talk of going to take a charmI didn'tvisit the native drs when I was strugglingto have a baby and this man thinks I'llvisit one now to charm him. Wondering y he will even believe such a thing. Infact I don't even know any native doctor. So when he said that, I told him that if I had known that his change of attitude is because of this stupid reason, I would not have fought for my marriage like I did. Of course I got so mad and told him a piece of my mind. I am even ashamed of telling people that despite this man's exposure he consults native Dr's in Africa more than even the people in Africa. Infact if they say yes that's what he listens to. He has even paid a flight from here to Africa because a native Dr told him that his dad who raised him to be the man he is today is trying to kill him and he should come for protection.

I decided to tell his mom about the accusation. His mom told me she scolded at him and warned him never to say such nonsense. Well I just pity him and I'm praying for him. But truth is I regret my marriage to him because of these his believes. I just don't believe in divorce and don't even have the heart to move out I would have done so. Mind u, I am 100% independent so it's not an issue of being scared of surviving alone.

Well one Sunday night as usual I talked to him like crazy and he said "all he wants is for our relationship to work and he will put in his best effort with support from me. I said I want same and will put in my best effort with support from him too*. This happened around september and things have been like normal on and off since then.

I have a few worries which I'd like you to advise me on the way forward.
- My husband is heartless. No matter how I lament, cry, beg, approach him nicely. Infact no matter the manner in which I bring up an issue to him, he doesn't get moved at all. He stays on his stance and doesn't care. How am I suppose to live with a man like this. He goes mute when I try having a conversation with him.

- I have a weakness of talking alot which I acknowledge and I'm doing my best to work on it though I'm yet to change completely. But I can say there's a huge improvement. Infact I'm able to walk away now.

Can a marriage really work out out without a compromise from both parties? I feel like I am compromising alot but this man is doing whatever he likes. In all of these he doesn't cheat but has abused me physically 4times in our 6yrs of marriage which I'm still pained about. The worst abuse right now is emotional abuse and I've told him so several times.

We use to be an exemplary and happy couple up till this may 2020. What will you do in a situation like mine With? With a man like my husband who I'd say lacks empathy and a concience how do I deal with him? His mom said she talked to him but I don't see any difference.

I feel miserable right now in my marriage. Since I got married this is our hardest hit and unfortunately it got prolonged probably bc of his native Dr's who told him I am using a charm on him which he believed.


Help me out please[/quote]

This man is nothing but a hypocrite.See how long he typed a message like he meant it, always pretending to be a good man.wicked dog.

UNA MUMU IS HEARTBREAKING.IDIOTIC LEADERS!

[Hahahaha..ROTFL...FEWA...uote author=Lawdis post=98076423]....fear women that's why I refused to marry


I rather Bleep and pay them with 200 indomy and egg.....because I belong to SMAN we gives no SHI SHI



soon we shall form another association "FEAR WOMEN ASSOCIATION" FEWA.....

[/quote]

[What are u waiting for? The earlier the better...or you will be in deep trouble when
the time comes...quotee author=Emeraldgreene post=98062988][U Better do now,if u love ur life.quote author=paulolee post=98022848]talk to ur ex first and try run a dna urself, if its true then you inform ur wife
some people jus cnt avoid wahala, me am not married yet but one of my ex girlfriend just keep saying that she must destroy my marriage whenever I get married because I made her lose her boyfriend dt she loved soo much...
we both take it as a joke but I would surely cut. her off and blank hee for good when. dt time comes..[/quote]

[U Better do now,if u love ur life.quote author=paulolee post=98022848]talk to ur ex first and try run a dna urself, if its true then you inform ur wife
some people jus cnt avoid wahala, me am not married yet but one of my ex girlfriend just keep saying that she must destroy my marriage whenever I get married because I made her lose her boyfriend dt she loved soo much...
we both take it as a joke but I would surely cut. her off and blank hee for good when. dt time comes..[/quote]

[because BIG BUM BUM IS WAT GETS MEN ATTENTION,ITS WAT MEN LOOK AT.IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE! quoteor=TheEnforcer post=98034641]But what about her "plastic bum" she went to do in Mexico?Why did she do that?What kinda girl has low esteem to the point "enhancing her bum?Probably that's her selling point then.Her alleged sextape too which came out during the show is on the internet. I'm not exactly sure that's the the person you want the girl child to emulate .[/quote]

[Im tired of this argument.IM NOT SINGLE...IN LIFE U WILL ALWAYS HAVE ENEMIES,TRUMP IS NEVER INCAPACITATED.THEY ARE HIS ENEMIES..THEY ARE THE ONES PLANNING AND FIGHTING HIM.THIS IS D WHOLE TRUTH. I CAME HOME AND SAW HOW ARE CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING,MOST GRADUATES, DRIVING KEKE,OTHERS ARE INTO FRAUD.I WEPT FOR OUR NATION,because IF U SEE HOW OUR LEADERS COME OVER THERE BUYING HOUSES, JETS,YATCHTS,THROWING PARTIES, IN EXPENSIVE HOTELS. U WILL GET MAD FOR DZ COUNTRY.PLEASE ENOUGH IM TIRED.GUD NITEuoteor=Patrioticman007 post=97987832]

First you are telling us that Dump Trump is not in control of USA, that its Democrats running the show, who needs an incapacitated President ?.

I bet its either you are dating a yahoo boy or you are a picker, because your argument is based on outsmarting ( cheating) another innocent person.

Two the colonial Christians not only bought your ancestors for tobacco pipe but forced Christianity on them & as mumu's, you're still practising the fake faith, if not, debunk my statement you're not a kiriyo ?.[/quote]

[OH PLEASE SHUT UP? YOU ARE THE MUMU...WHO IS THIS KID BORN YESTERDAY ON MY MENTIONS?

!URE THE ONE WITH INFERIOR MENTALITY.UR ANCESTORS BETRAYED AND SOLD UR BROTHERS AS SLAVES TO THE WHITES.THEY HAD A HAND IN IT.

UR ANCESTORS CAPTURED AND HANDED THEM OVER.GO AND STUDY THE HISTORY OF TRANS ATLANTIC SLAVE TRADE COS URE IGNORANT CHILD.

OH WAIT URE JUST A KID WHO KNOWS NOTHING BUT CHATTING ON WHATSAPP AND INSTAGRAM. I REPEAT GO TAKE UR HISTORY LESSONS.WHY DIDN'T UR ANCESTORS OUTSMART THE WHITES WHEN THEY CAME TO AFRICA?

WAS NIGERIA AS DECAYED AS THIS WEN BUSH VISITED? IS AFRICA NOT A SHIT HOLE?

WEN A TRAVEL U KNOW THAT TRUMP SPOKE NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, ABOUT AFRICA.

LETS TELL OURSELVES THE TRUTH,OTHER NATIONS ARE BUSY MAKING ADVANCEMENT IN LEAPS AND BOUNDS BUT ORDINARY JOBS POLITICIANS CANNOT CREATE IN NIGERIA.

MOST GUYS ARE INTO YAHOO JUST TO FEED AND SURVIVE.CRIPPLING AND WASTING AWAY OUR STRONG ABLE BODIED YOUNG MEN!

AND LET ME SHOCK YOU.DEMOCRATS ARE BEHIND THE VIOLENCE AND KILLINGS GOING ON...THEY PAID CERTAIN GROUPS TO INFILTRATE THE PROTEST.WE WHO ARE THERE KNOW WATS GOING ON BEHIND THE SCENES.


PLEASE SIT DOWN AND LEARN WEN ELDERS SPEAK!thoroticman007 post=97985009]

Inferiority complex has destroyed yourself wort.
Is Dump Trump better than Gorge Bush Junior & Bill Clinton that came to Nigeria ?.
Let me ask you about the history of shithole did black Africans ever invite white monkeys to come and enslave them & force Christianity on them ?. Your mumu never do abi ?.
A Dictator just caused the death of his citizens, instead of you to condemn the act like every country did, you are here shouting racist chants because the oyinbo man is a Christian.[/quote]

DEAR MEN LET ME TELL U A SECRET.I DIDN'T WANT TO POST THIS INITIALLY,BUT I WILL.U WILL LOSE IN THIS BATTLE OF THE SEXES.U HAVE AN INSATIABLE DESIRE FOR SEX AND WILL DO ANYTHING FOR SEX.THATS ONE.

TWO,WOMEN ARE THE CARRIERS OF WEALTH AND BLESSINGS, GENERALLY.IF A WOMAN WHO CARRIES WEALTH AND BLESSINGS GIVES U SEX, MONEY WILL COME, BLESSINGS, FAVOR WILL FLOW.UR MOTHER CAN GIVE U BLESSINGS,EVEN UR SISTERS BUT THE FASTEST WAY U CAN GET IT IS THROUGH SEX! WOMEN ARE MORE POWERFUL IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD BCOZ THE CREATOR PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT IN CREATING WOMEN.

BUT THIS WHATSAPP AND INSTAGRAM GENERATION DON'T KNOW THIS,THEY ARE TOO SHALLOW.

IF URE A WISE MAN,U WILL MAKE THE WOMEN IN UR LIVES HAPPY.FROM UR MOTHER TO UR SISTERS, COUSINS, COLLEAGUES AND NEIGHBORS SO DAT WAT FOLLOWS THE WOMAN WILL FOLLOW YOU.
BUT THIS GENERATION , DON'T KNOW THIS.SMH.

[Yes u can't.i will still write in bold letters. THIS GENERATION IS SHALLOW,THIS WHATSAPP AND INSTAGRAM GENERATION,WHO KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT LIFE,DONT UNDERSTAND THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE.ASK ANY OCCULT MAN OR A MAN DEEPLY IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD.IF HES BEING HONEST TO U,HE WILL TELL U IM RIGHTLY RIGHT!quote author=Bondinus post=97980734]
Can't believe someone in this age, sat down and thought of this, and wrote it all down in capital letters. Just wow[/quote]

U ARE A CORRECT GUY.WOMEN ARE THE CARRIERS OF WEALTH AND BLESSINGS.IF A WOMAN WHO CARRIES BLESSINGS GIVES U SEX,MOBEY WILL COME UR WAY,MONEY WILL FLOW.ITS MORE THAN SEX.MANY THINGS FOLLOW IT. ONLY THE TRULY WISE MAN HONOR AND RESPECT WOMEN!

Ryan03:
lol, why you nor carry pussy come from heaven? It was given to them, they are entitled to it. I think you are now exhibiting entitlement mentality here, thinking that they should give it freely cause it was given to them, you have no right over their body brother, their have the right to do with it as they deem fit

Place Trump on travel ban?Can u hear how stupid u are?Is president Trump ur problem?it pains MURIC because Trump he asked ur president during his visit to white house on why he was killing Christians in Nigeria? We have a million problems,in our country,face ur country.TRUMP IS NEITHER URE CLASS NOR UR MATE.FORGET HOW DEMOCRATS ARE FIGHTING HIM. BRINGING HIM DOWN,DESTROYING HIS IMAGE AND ADMINISTRATION WITH THIS RIOTS AND PAINTING HIM BLACK, GIVES U NO STAND TO SPEAK AGAINST HIM IN SUCH MANNER.HES FAR FAR ABOVE UR LEVEL U IDIOT. Foolish African man and their babaric,animal-like politics.Place our president Trump on travel ban to ur rotten shit hole. hahahaha,I laugh at ur stupidity,it's Legendary!

URE NOTHING BUT WRONG. WAT IS INFRASTRUCTURE COMPARED TO COUNTLESS LIVES MURDERED BY BANDITS,BOKO HARAM,HERDSMEN?WAT IS EDUCATIONAL POLICIES COMPARED TO INSECURITY ?ALL DZ KILLINGS WHICH THEY ARE THE ONES BE RESPONSIBLE FOR BY GIVING ORDERS AND LETTING THE KILLERS GO SCOT FREE.TO WAT ADVANCEMENT CAN U COMPARE WITH A PLACE WHERE CITIZENS ARE NOT SURE THEY MAY LIVE TO SEE TOMMOROW.STOP ABEG.

jansonn:
But seriously, I speak based on my experience!! I live in Kaduna state and I'm neither a northerner or muslim, it's important to state that el rufai is one of the best gov in Nigeria based on infrastructural developments!! Most of you might say he's a fanatic and a bigot but this man doesn't care about anyone whether Hausa or Christian, presently he has demolished over 5 major markets in the state from which his people (Hausa) majorly feed from. One of the woes of his gov is this banditry and kidnapping, that has single handedly destroyed every other thing he has done for this state.
Also, el rufai is sturborn, he doesn't listen to anyone, I'm sure the advices are just there as appointees and nothing else and he doesn't really care what the people will go through from whatever policy he's making but if we base performance in structure, advancement, roads and educational policies, el rufai is the best both in the north and Nigeria

[very soon now he will die and leave his sons....he wont be there for graduation but,weddings,naming ceremonies of his sons children..old dad post=97883443]

Which kind sharp man- na useless man

At over 60 no self control

Imagine that baby with a father old enough to be his great grandfather [/quote]

Abeg the man is not mad.. see how neatly he's dressed,white shirt,black jeans,and sandals

[yes ....china will come into America and take over once Biden is sworn in...watch my words author=lekki1444 post=97807000] I told yall after that saturn and jupiter conjunction in aquarius that the USA will take a swift nosedive into obscurity and 3rd world status

https://www.nairaland.com/6317927/rare-christmas-star-appear-festive


Kalifate[/quote]

[ ,ROTFLuote author=michlins post=97813973]2021 came really prepared.


Yesterday was USA and today it's Ghana. Which continent is next as America and Africa has been represented[/quote]

Just the way politicians unleash hoodlums on END SARS peaceful protest is the same way Democrats unleashed the rioters to make Trump look like an evil tyrant and dictator in the eyes of the world.WE WEY DEY THERE KNOW THE TRUTH OF WAT DEMOCRATS ARE UP TO.THE TIME TRUMPS FURIOUS BATTLES BEGAN WAS WEN HE BROUGHT PRAYER BACK IN SCHOOLS AND IN PUBLIC,AND BANNED ABORTIONS,GAY,LGBTQ RIGHTS....BATTLE BEGAN .THE TRUTH US HONESTLY TRUMP WAS A GOOD PRESIDENT.HIS POLICIES CREATED JOBS FOR US.
HMMM. POLITICS REMAIN THE SAME EVERYWHERE.

Bobrisky is doing evangelism to win many lives to his prostitution career.

YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND LIKE NO OTHER WAT IS GOING ON.WEN I TRY TO EXPLAIN TO OTHERS THIS SAME THING I GET INSULTS INSTEAD

deleyi20:
So BLM and ANTIFA have been burning and looting cities across America in protest of "racist" Trump for close to a year with not one single FBI deep swamp creature bothering to lift a finger to stop these communist thugs. Even Mayors and Governors of these Democrat controlled cities and states forbade law enforcement from duly arresting these thugs and refused to call in the National Guard and even went as far as bailing out violent protesters and defunding their police .

What you are witnessing in America is the beginning of Socialism that will see America transformed to a full communist and antidemocratic state.

The New World Order is creeping in in our lifetime. Staged by the Democrats and powered by the CCP!

The stronghold of tyranny is at full glare. A lot of us don't understand the magnitude this action by social media. For The President of America to be blocked on social media.

NICE WRITE UP BUT SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BREAKING OF HOMES! HUMAN NATURE IS!

[I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING,WHY NO BARRICADE THERE,THEN I REMEMBER D WATERFALL IS IN BLACK MAN LAND WHERE THEY BEHAVE ANY HOW AND LIFE IS NOT VALUED. IF NA WHITE MAN LAND E DEY YOU WILL SEE BARRICADE PLACED SOME FEET AWAY. WGIABDCquotee author=wink2015 post=97785557]The Zimbabwe tourism authority should build a barricade along the edge of that fall to prevent unnecessary death or even suicide.[/quote]

[qu,NOT UR WHATSAPP NUMBERote author=HellVictorinho post=97774542]
09093543781[/quote]

[Put ur own WhatsApp numberquote author=HellVictorinho post=97774229]
I can't upload it with my phone.
The options are not available.[/quote]