₦airaland Forum

Joybringer:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2024/03/commercial-bus-driver-in-unilorin-dies-while-driving/

Confirm... This thing don catch am...

fergie001:
Zagazola Makama (on X)

You say wetin? You dey wait or you dey await...? We dey wait for tollgate, make nobody tell us say we should wait before we can enters kuwait... Kuwait is our centre, wait is our call centre... We will enter any centre we can enter, it won't takes us kilometers... We have speedometers...

ayjay45:
STFU for once bro!!!!

You says?

I hopes you would both loses it..., so that you would come and marry me?

Bullfallo:
I shock as 20k plus was used to cook two soup that can last a week. This one is just for only soup. Painter of garri 2.5k but I don’t eat garri. Whole wheat, fufu, pounded yam or semo.

The main ingredient
Ogbono 4 cups 6k (at 1500 per cup )
Vegetable leaves 2k
Beef and goat Meat 5k
Smoke titus fish 2k
Smoke dried fish 2k
Vegetable oil 1L to free the meat 2.4k
Water Bottle red oil and onions 2k

Other minor’s ingredients less than 1k

Gives me any k to cook my own soup... Thanks...

What a blessing! Heat is a blessing or heat is our blessing! We blessed you with heat now, and you are crying for what to eat... Later you would cry for where to sit and where to eat...? Did you not have what to eat? Stop crying about heat... Eat what you can eat during this heat... Sebi you are doing as if you have achieved a feat... These beast are crying for heat or for more heat, or are they crying about heat? Don't they have what to eat? Thought they knows how to fists, can they fist with heat or with this heat? Of course, their wrists would twists... Make feast with what you would eat or with what you wants to eat... Gives me what to eat... These beast from the east are crying about heat, are they crying for more heat? Did they wants more heats? Bullshit! Don't talk bullshit or stop talking bullshit...

Who did you really wants to see, sisi in oversea or sisi of oversea...? Drink you wants to drink tea, or eat pea...?

InfoGuru118:
https://dailypost.ng/2024/03/16/gunmen-abduct-edo-pdp-chairman-tony-aziegbemi/

Omo, na who dey? Who dey...you still dey...you go dey...

Havesomesense:
Oloriburuku leleyi o

Na u be dat, no be me and you...

StatusSymbol:
Please fellow nairalanders be careful. Vows are now kidnapping people and holding people to a ransom.

Last night, I was bored at home and my preek was breathing angrily. I thought to myself that I should visit a brothel I have been seeing around my area.

When I got there, the girls were calling me customer. All of them were telling me to come. I thought I shouldnt rush and I should sit down and observe the place.
I did not notice a cow that was tied to a short stud in the ground. The cow head but me twice in my left shoulder and once on my elbow as I attempted to block his attempts on my life.

Before i knew it, the cow verociosly wanted to stamp my blokos with his front hoof but missed. It kept it's legs firm on the ground. The whole scene last very long 5 minutes.

Now I'm in bandages laying helplessly in bed. All thanks to my 3rd wife who has been massaging me

You deserved it!

enemyofprogress:
Foluronsho Alakija Reportedly Received Over 10000 Marriage Proposals Within 24hrs After News Of Her Separation With Husband Leaks.

Who amongst you here applied? say the truth o.

She no fine... Every lady wey dey shit no fine...

NairaOcean:
A Nigerian woman was left in utter disbelief when her husband presented her with a brand new Mercedes-Benz as a wedding gift. The extraordinary gesture took place at their residence, leaving her in awe.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X9Ej3OFs0g

This one dey do as if she don ENTER HEAVEN... Maybe she just dey planet 4...

Opanka44:
Good evening to you all. Since Tuesday, I've been trying to get some money from my account but no way. I use first bank . But the ATM card is expired, so if I need money I would use the USSD code to make transfers to my Opay account since I have the ATM card, then withdraw from it. But since on Tuesday night, it's been network issues. I don't have anybody to call for help. I have already learnt a lot about life these few days. I learnt that I'm all alone in this world and if anything happens to me, nobody is going to take responsibility. I'm like a cow without a tail to drive away flies. No elder ones, no parents.
I pray that God touches anyone to help me, cos the Hunger right now is unbearable. Anything will go a long way.
God bless you for at least reading this and bless u more for helping.
Amen

No be d thing wey sure pass be dat? That crocodie later died... That crocodie must die... That crocodie wey dey do tie and dye must die...

Trollegend:
I went to buy some fufu for lunch(ibo fufu are the best).
So after i told the seller the amount of fufu i wanted, my neck just directed me to a camry packed beside the roadside. Inside that car, one light skinned babe wearing hijab was biting her finger and staring at me. I became nervous and was wondering who she was staring at aside me. I just looked away and collected my wraps of fufu. Shey the babe dey look at me or iya ibo fufu? Crush or hunger? Is she ok?

She wants to sleeps with you, why u no go and sleep with her? Abi she no get lips or wet lips? What of hips, she no get hips or she use clip on her hips&lips? She is a tulip, you for check her lips&hips before you would sleeps&bleeps... Look b4 you leaps...Is it?

99thEnemy:
Source: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2024/03/irate-ijaw-youths-kill-army-commander-soldiers-in-delta/amp/

Omo naso, eema se nso...

Havesomesense:
I don't know how you all are surviving but I'm tired, everything is so expensive.

Tinubu no try with em policies at all.

From all your senses or with all your senses..., na you dey talk nonsense? Wetin you dey use all your senses to do? Now, you called yourself havesomesense... Na you wey get sense, dey talk nonsense? No be common sense be dat? You no get sense, na common sense you get...

Mercifulll:
As a widow and the only one providing for myself i have no foodstuffs or Money to buy them.

I have been on dry fasting and it too hard for me
Can I quit the fast ?

Quit fast or quit life...? If it were to be somebody, somebody would act fast and quit life... Seems we don't many somebody that would act fast&quit life...

Wetin concerns us, a light is sunlight and a light; choose whichever light that fits&suits your height... Lights also get height... I would choose a light or THE LIGHT with the height of light&delight, wherein I would not be frights or frightened... THAT LIGHT IS JESUS CHRIST... I LIKES THE HEIGHT OF JESUS CHRIST... Omo, JESUS CHRIST GETS HEIGHT... JESUS CHRIST IS WITH THE HEIGHT nobody can fight... But...

Why e no just command dry bones to rise again, abi this one want cash out... His dry bones no go rise again...or no dey rise again?

Beautifulday:
It is reported in scripture that the prophets of Baal called him from morning to dawn. Yet, they got no answer.

Why did he not answer because he use to answer them with fire before that day.

As if we cares to knows how and why?

Emmanuel30a2:
These are not terrorist, these are good people... The good people comes to takes more people or some people, so that there would be more good people... I hope that, these good person would becomes multiple or quadruple... So that, we can have many people eating pineapple and apple; without doing or teaching a for apple, b for ball... Let these people or let these good people, begins to wears colour purple and cause royal rumbles... We wants these people or these good people to crumbles, not them being humbled&crumbled... They can stay humble as they crumbles and cause royal rumbles, they shouldn't fumbles&cause themselves to be crumbled... They should not be troubled, they should rather cause troubles... Let them knows in the cable or in the cable newspaper that, you have cause troubles... Be a trouble that cannot be troubled... Cause royal rumbles as you stay humble...Do not be troubled!...

As good pple, when we wants 2 cause troubles; we would wears purple.

iwaeda:
https://punchng.com/just-in-terrorists-attack-kaduna-community/

These are not terrorist, these are good people... The good people comes to takes more people or some people, so that there would be more good people... I hope that, these good people would becomes multiple or quadruple... So that, we can have many people eating pineapple and apple; without doing or teaching a for apple, b for ball... Let these people or let these good people, begins to wears colour purple and cause royal rumbles... We wants these people or these good people to crumbles multiples, not them being humbled&crumbled...They can stay humble as they crumbles and cause royal rumbles, they shouldn't fumbles&cause themselves 2b crumbled... They should not be troubled, they should rather cause troubles... Let them knows in d cable or in the cable newspaper dat, u have cause troubles... Be a trouble dat cannot be troubled... Cause royal rumbles as you stay humble...Do not be troubled!...

[quote author=YourKarma post=128952715]Lolzzzzz......nice wordplay

YourKarma:
A drowning person won't be able to shout. Most people don't know this, what's why a trained lifeguard is always needed at pools.
Late last year I was chilling at a poolside not knowing a guy (I'm sure he's not less than 23 years old) was drowning a few feet from where I was, and with several other people in the pool at that time. It was the lifeguard who noticed and jumped in and rescued him.
I knew before this that drowning people won't be able to shout for help but this was the first time I witnessed it firsthand

Wetin concerns us with drowning people? Are they clowning? Should we be crying for the drowning people? No! We would be crowning the drowning people... These drowning people are clowning people, we should soon do their clonings...or we would should soon do their clonings... We knows their colony...

Desusi:
If you never experienced drowning, all this would be like stories that is being told.The day l went with some of my colleagues and Germans to swimming pool in a particular holiday resort in Germany. Seeing people demonstrating how they can swim,l decided to do same until l got drowned at the lowest part of the pool,it took a quick intervention of other friends before l was rescued. Ever since, l never near anything swimming pool again and l will never try it in life.May God console the family.

Yes! Drowning would be a result or one the result of holiday resort in germany... Don't only holidaying, you can also be partying, playing&displaying...

Enculer2:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13201649/Girl-boy-father-drowned-swimming-pool-Spanish-hotel-no-proof-swim.html

Good or good for them... We don't know them... Who knows them? Those who knows them, can joins them or be like them... Those who knows them should join them... We have seen mayhem for them in jerusalem, in bethlehem; even in NEW JERUSALEM...

bolabizzle:
source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13200975/Squid-Game-star-79-convicted-sexual-harassment-forcefully-kissing-groping-theatre-colleague.html

Omo, that's an assignment or that's your assignment... How can you be convicted of your assignment or because you are doing your assignment? Don't they have continuous assessment of your assignment or of such assignment? Why the torments and laments, that would soon ferments or that has not ferments? Leave serpent or leaves the serpents that are doing red carpets? Tells me, what is your assignment?

God1000:
https://c.newsnow.co.uk/A/1221164597?-14432:11

Remain 70 or 750 to be drowned in the red sea... Red sea, walk together with mediterranean sea and the deep blue... Let's see oversea or let's see those who are going to oversea... They said they can swims inside red sea, mediterranean sea and deep blue sea, etc; like they are sleeping&swimming inside jacuzzi...

GistMedia0:
https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2024/3/man-arrested-for-raping-9-year-old-daughter-in-adamawa-blames-alcohol-and-drugs-2.html

There is no need to blame or no one to be blamed, you have just raped a lame with no aims to proclaims...

treesun:
https://punchng.com/breaking-olubadan-lekan-balogun-dies-at-81/

Una mumu no too much...? Such mumu wey dey go to church suppose 2 die in church... Such mumu wey dey sleep on couch, suppose 2 die on couch...without holding a torch...&without no one to touch... Their mumus brains don dey touch, they are now in rush rush... Their mumus no dey go to church? So, na mumus dey go church...? No be mumus dey go church? Make mumus wey dey go to church no sees me and begins to do rush rush... They would not receives a touch or any touch... Mumus wey dey go church to much...