₦airaland Forum

I don't believe that your wife can get a visa to join you while you are only on a student visa. To get a wife's visa then you, as the husband, must be 'settled' in the UK, which means

‘Settled’ means being allowed to live in the UK lawfully, with no time limit on your stay. "Present and settled" means that the person concerned is settled in the UK and, at the time we are considering your application under the Immigration Rules, is in the UK or is coming here with you, or to join you and plans to live with you in the UK if your application is successful.

You also have to prove that you will be able to support her financially.

Go to the Home Office site for more information: http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/passports-and-immigration/visas/?view=Standard

Perhaps they could agree to adopt children instead of having their own.

lol no I'm not thinking of marriage or divorce.

I've just found the different types of marriages confusing and I wondered if they all have equal legal status. So for example, if you have a traditional marriage and want to end it, do you have to get a legal divorce etc.

Did I understand some of these posts right? that you can get a traditional marriage without even being there??!!! How can this be legal?

I like pigeon - but you are not meant to eat those dirty things that live in cities! You eat proper wood pigeons that live wild in the country eating grain. Yum.

I love goose but it is very expensive.

I've also eaten peacock once (not nice).

Rabbit is also good.

You are being very brave in standing up to your husband and your family to protect your little girl. It is a terrible thing to do to a child. Your husband seems to think that it is necessary for her to be accepted in your culture; you need to point out that FGM is being made illegal all over the world and in 20 years time the women who have suffered FGM may well be considered the 'odd' ones. Also, that a practise that is wrong can't be stopped until people are brave enough to stand out and refuse to do it. Also that, yes, you are still alive but many little girls die or have terrible medical problems because of this - is he happy to take this risk? Perhaps he thinks that all cultures and parents do this - can you get him to look at some information on the internet to see how rare and awful this actually is. Show him this information from the World Health Organisation:

Consequences of FGM
Depending on the degree of mutilation, FGM can have a number of short-term health implications:
severe pain and shock
infection
urine retention
injury to adjacent tissues
immediate fatal haemorrhaging
Long-term implications can entail:
extensive damage of the external reproductive system
uterus, vaginal and pelvic infections
cysts and neuromas
increased risk of Vesico Vaginal Fistula
complications in pregnancy and child birth
psychological damage
sexual dysfunction
difficulties in menstruation
In addition to these health consequences there are considerable psycho-sexual, psychological and social consequences of FGM.



You might be able to find help and support here: http://www.forwarduk.org.uk/resources. This is a UK organisation but I'm sure they will be interested in helping you - there is a 'click here if a child is in danger' button that puts you on the right track for help. Even if they can't help you, they might be able to put you in touch with a local organisation that can. They also have information on an exhibition by Nigerian artists about FGM describes as 'The project communicates specific Nigerian experiences of FGM (female genital mutilation) as suffering, sorrow, and (economic) setback to viewers around the globe.' so they are obviously interested in the situation there.

I could call him fatty instead but I don't think he'd like that

Huh? Why are you attacking me?

You know nothing about me. You are showing an over-active imagination here.

Thank you

I'm a bit confused about Nigerian marriages - how many types are there? Are they all seen as equally committed/legally binding? Is a traditional marriage a legal marriage? Can you get divorced from a traditional marriage?

Divorce is not always bad for the kids.

Sure, it is best if their parents are together in a strong and happy marriage, but better divorced than with parents who are always miserable and fighting.

The important thing is that the divorced parents have to remember their number 1 duty as parents and not cause the children pain and trouble. That means

the parents mustn't try to compete with each other by spoiling the children
both parents must have lots of contact with the children and be involved in raising them, going to school report nights, and so on
the parents must not drag the children into any arguments/disputes/upsets

It's sad that some of those women think their partners would react badly towards them, as though she were to blame for what happened. If you are murdered is that your fault?

If you can't tell your fiance something like that then he is not trustworthy enough to marry.

Those are so ridiculous.

Do you think anyone ever does send them any money?

The idea of cousins doesn't bother me but I was very surprised to learn recently that in some European countries it is not against the law for brothers and sisters to marry! That's not to say that it happens very often or that most people would think it's ok of course, but I was surprised to find out that they wouldn't be breaking the law.

It's legal in most of the world. There is no special name for the children. If your brother marries your cousin, those children are still your neices and nephews.

There are lots of Nigerian clubs and places to go.

you might also want to think about making friends with some English people and going out with them? We do go out and have fun too 

Funny, but I find all my boyfriend's Nigerian friends very boring. All they do is go round each others houses and sit there not even really talking or anything, there is always a massive TV in the corner and everyone just sits there watching it together. What is that all about? That's not my idea of fun. I know you can't go out all the time, but still! When a group of us English-people go to a friend's house for the evening we don't sit there watching TV!

Maybe he just has boring friends 

Actually, that must be the case. When a group of us went (with his friends) to a Nigerian restaurant that had a live Nigerian band there one of the friends made us sit right at the back on another level because he said it got too 'rowdy' in the main bit. I thought he meant they would have fights or something, but no, it was just that people got up and danced. So we had to just sit down at the back watching everyone else having fun,

He sounds horrible. You deserve to be treated nicely. Get rid of him. This man is just being a jerk, it is nothing to do with his being Nigerian.

You could say that about anyone you date. I can think of a few men the same colour as me that I now wish I'd never met!

I don't think your age is going to be an issue. It's very common for people of all ages to go to university in the UK, and this is for a post-graduate qualification. That means the youngest person is going to be 21/22 anyway.

I know of some universities where 30% of their intake for first degrees are mature students (over 21), let alone post-grad ones.

lol.

I say Quentin old chap, spiffing post.

So what did Muyiwabank and I just do?

YOur grandma wears underwear.

Your girlfriend wears lingerie.

You need to provide solid proof of the items that they are querying:

1)that you are related to your cousin and that your cousin has adequate accomodation available for you. Also that your cousin is in the UK legally.

2)The reason your sponsor is offering to pay for your education and your relationship to your sponsor.

3) That your sponsor has at least £11,400 in his/her bank account and is willing and able to spend all this money on your education.

4) That you intend to leave the UK on completion of your studies.

Yes Retro, there are a few more open minded ones about, but I agree that generally Nigerians are pretty extremist about their religions.

My Nigerian boyfriend is a Christian, he goes to Church, he prays every morning and reads the bible every day. He pays his tithes and tries to live a Christian life.

I am an atheist. He doesn't try to convert me. I don't try to convert him. We respect each others beliefs.

One thing I've noticed is that Nigerians like to say every letter that appears in a word, but in British English sometimes letters are missed out when you say it.

Like
salmon - not sal-mon. We say sa-mon.

Also, Th is sometimes pronounced just 't'. River Thames = Tems. Thomas = tomas. Theresa = Teresa.

we are not very logical!

Sorry Adeniyi, I didn't mean to take over your post    Can I be a nuisance and ask one more question about the grandfather - which grandfather names the baby? The baby will have 2 grandfathers, is it the mother's father or the father's father who traditionally names the baby?

I was told that the Yoruba custom was that all the older family members will suggest a name, and then the parents choose from those names. This was a Yoruba 'new' grandfather who told me this. Maybe the tradition varies a bit from family to family? Perhaps you could do this if you have no grandfather to name the child?

Or yes, name the child yourself! What happens if someone else gives the child a name you don't like?

lol, love this question and the poll options .

I've often wondered this myself. Every religion seems so sure that it is the one and only way to heaven. They can't all be the one and only way. So what happens to the ones who picked the wrong horse to back?

How is asking about a baby naming custom a devilish or leading question?  You have some strange ideas.
But thanks for the information. That was all I wanted to know.

2Legit - did I ask you anything? If you don't know the answer then don't say anything. You are the one who needs to .

I didn't say I wanted to do it.  I was just interested. Is that ok with you? Or do I have to ask your permission in future before I ask a question?