₦airaland Forum

Should you leave your family isn't the appropriate question but should you leave home is more appropriate. So, no you shouldn't leave your family but you should leave home. I don't think you need to be in a place where there is too much verbal abuse.

Are you a graduate? If yes, why the heck are you limiting yourself to a 22k salary? It's either you look for a better job by going to plaza and searching the job board or you add more jobs to that teaching job. Mbok, 22k will not take you anywhere at 27 because I am sure you have no savings to fall back on.

Anyway, start from church. Isn't there any single female friend staying alone and close to where you work? Uyo might be small but if you aren't careful, you might spend more than necessary on transport.

When she started telling you stories of older women marrying young men, you should have listened, nodded your head to some of her points and then tell her your stand.

She: Like three women I know that got married to younger men; they are so happily married. I would like to get married to a younger man

You: Hmmm...true. Marriage sometimes can work irrespective of the ages of the party BUT I don't want an elderly woman for a wife. I want a young wife because men get married to young women too and are happily married.
So, what is oga waiting for na, me I wan come chop rice.

She: No oga oh...oga for where. I am still looking up to God.

You: Sha do fast...no let me do my own before you do your own...one babe dey my area...etc.

What have you done in this convo? You have stated your stand.

She tries to feed you...tell her you don't eat from single women as you don't want any issue with 'her' oga; she tries to sweep for you...ask her how much she will take for sweeping. She calls you too much; pick it, say you are a bit busy. She says she misses you, tell her not to miss you before your madam gets mad.

She is playing a subtle game and you should play the game with her as well. Be courteous, never let down your guard but do not show contempt.

This surely must be a Rivers state affair

victorels:
This is the promo.

Desmond do not need to speak. His photos has to do it.

#Photospeaks.

True but who would know gentleinspired designed them? I think that is the crux of the whole matter. Not just wearing the suits but helping to push gentle inspired by perhaps tagging them when putting on their wears and sharing their adverts on instagram plus referrals

This is definitely new...Yabatech was never flooded throughout my time there.

That's why we've always got to hear two sides of a story. Now, I understand the frustrations conveyed in the previous messages.

So, no money for suits and no promo either...

I don't even like pounded yam, either in its true or an adulterated form.

If you both can't divorce due to sharia law, then allow him into the house na as long as the case isn't life threatening even though both have issues...me I no support this kain thing oh

I am sure the woman didn't just beat the child just for that silly action of flushing the money; it was coupled with other factors such as how long and hard it took for her to gather the rent money. I can almost feel her frustration.

I don't know the age of the child but if it is a child that can do part time jobs, (s)he will do jobs and pay back that money no matter how long it takes.
And if it is a child that can't work yet, I'll spank you and then deprive you of treats.
Children should be taught that they are responsible for their actions and that some actions might come with adverse reactions.

Let parents too learn to be firm with their children. I know it isn't easy for a complete family unit with the many religious and economic distractions much less a single parent.

No be God fearing man you been dey pray for? Kikikikiki #fakestory

Okay but what's with his hair though...na now im own midlife crises wan start

Your soaps are beautiful, I hope they are yours? Have you considered making a video too instead of just an e-book?

Toks2008:
I know you are not up to 30 yet so i understand your decision not to give out your number,nevertheless im curious to know your age cos you have a deep intellectual prowess that is endearing..

You must also undderstand that the best investment you can have is in a human being.

Many ladies tend to make a collosal blunder when they react harshly to a guy just because a guy approaches them.

Every guy you meet in life is an asset but ladies dont know this. I make friends like kilode and no lady i have ever met on nairalandd can come out to say i have ever asked her out and i stand challenged but they will tell you how wonderful my friendship have been to them.

If the op bcomes the first lady tomorrow and i gain access to her,trust me she cant deny me and as a budding politician that i am,when i climb the saddle of authority in the nearest future,i can never deny knowing everyone i have ever known.

The best time to be friends with great people is when they are ordinary people.

If this guy you turned down happens to be a governor would you have said No? at least if not for romance no one dares refuse giving a governor his or her phone number.

So please make this an habbit and give every man who ask for your contact a means of contact. It may not be your direct call line,you could have a fbook ID,twitter handle or linkedin account...trust me,even that tout you turned down harshly might be one of the armedrobbers that will prevent his gang from robbing you in future.

My advice to any other lady reading this is that they must understand that no matter how hot or classy they may be,that truck pusher has a right to approach them and they also have the right to turn him down but if they must do so,it must be done with proper decorum as it becomes totally immature to talk down on any man no matter his status simply because he approached you.

Im just trying to make common sense and i hope you got the drift.

True to most of what you have said but I have just a few people I call friends and yes I hope to widen the circle but regrettably, I cannot be friends with everyone neither can everyone be my friend.

I hope @smshola didn't think I was harsh because that wasn't my intention and if you were hurt, I am sorry.

I may not fit the criteria of this group but I am an old soul that is why I posted. I have found out that there are select people I can deeply converse with, the rest of acquaintances on all social media and even in phone, we barely have a passing conversation. When you hear guys complain of girls that reply with 'K' 'lol' (I am not saying I do that) this is usually the case. The desire to not want to displease or turn down every request.

So, that is what I was trying to avoid with smshola...even if he was a governor or president, I'd still refuse...statuses don't move me

Much love to the thread users...peace!

smsshola:
.

Pls can we share number...

No sire, sorry

smsshola:
U look natural nd sound respectful. Ar u up to 30?

No, I aint up to 30

joebeckz:
live long and 40X3 is the number that comes to my head if am to wish you.

Hahaha, I say amen but 40X3 must be purposeful i.e 90% of my dreams completed, great grand children, no senility, able to read all the books I want to and chew meat

What a thread! I rarely come to romance, stumbled on this thread via recent posts yesterday. I do not fit the criteria, so I guess it is the sidelines for me.

Siamia, what a wonderful gift you've got at replying people. Being blunt and still coated with sugar. So, you are from Akwa Ibom? Lol

To the rest: Toks2008, Joebeckz, shi(I can't remember her username but she types so well) and the others...una well done.

Back to the sidelines...

I had that problem whilst using my PC 3 days back. I even googled Nairaland thinking something was wrong and tried going via google but same problem. I was browsing via my phone's hotspot.

The next day, I tried again but didn't have that problem. I browsed via modem.

I cannot conclude though that the mode of connection was the problem because I have browsed severally via hotspot and never had that problem

I don't like divorce cases and wouldn't want OP's friend to think of that first. In my opinion, they both have their faults.

This is where the man erred: Allowing his wife to leave in the first place. Why he gave his consent to that idea is beyond me. Even if the wife left one day without his full consent, as long as he wasn't okay with the act, he should have taken a stand there and then.

For those that will experience this, this is how I think the situation can be handled: Go to your father-in-law's place and after exchanging pleasantries, turn to your wife and tell her to get her things. Do that without batting an eyelid or asking the opinion of your FIL. Turn to your FIL and continue with light-hearted conversation. If your wife hesitates or looks to her father. Ignore her, turn and tell her again to go and get her things. The FIL might be forced to interfere by wanting to protect his daughter. Turn to him and politely tell him, it is a family affair. Then tell your wife, you won't ask her again. You would be surprised the FIL would be the one to tell his daughter to do as her husband has asked.

Wife's fault: Left husband, not providing emotional support, not stepping up as the second in command should.
The only reason, I do not want to attack the unemployed tag is: She might just have finished NYSC, got married and then got pregnant OR there was an agreement between the couple because I know no sane person in this harsh economy will deliberately sit at home or be allowed to sit at home.

For husbands that cannot out rightly tell their wives they want them to start working, just drop hints, send them links to job vacancies.

So, OP tell your friend; another marriage shouldn't be in the cards for now. Every marriage has issues some huge, some small and some irreparable. I don't believe this issue is irreparable even though it is huge.

As for the calls, I am a treat you as you treat me person so please I would defer on giving advice on this call thingy. Whatever rocks your boat.

PS: I am surrounded by families who are supportive of one another through tough and crazy circumstances...so, please posters shouldn't always be in a hurry to castigate women and/or men.

Sweerie, your MIL aint evil. She is just behaving like most old women do. They crave attention. When you came abruptly back from your honeymoon and met her in the kitchen, did you go to her and ask gently how she was feeling? Or even be pleasantly surprise by her presence?

The best way to handle these kind of women, allow any annoying thing they say pass over your head and try to always remain cheerful in their presence. Turn any jabs to a self mockery in a light hearted way and then change the subject.

For example:
Mama: You don't visit me, my son used to visit me more before he married you.

You: Mama! (Chuckle) Am I not visiting you now? You know your son is now taking care of two women...mama, what have you eaten? OR mama, let me check the kitchen... OR mama, how is your body

It is emotional intelligence and it is the way most men handle their women. So, treat her complaints like you would want your husband to treat yours.

You are thinking of just your pastor, have you both given a practical thought to what it entails to live with someone?
1. What do you do at 21?
2. Yes, you are happy when you are with him but what are your plans at improving his life and by extension yours as well?
3. What are your life goals apart from getting hitched?

There are so many things that water love; living together isn't one of them. So, coolu your body. Allow him get a job, take care of himself and plan towards taking care of another. Even if he is impatient, you should patiently point out the benefits of waiting.

In a perfect world, we'd all get married to the spouse of our dreams and have perfect lives and marriages but ours is an imperfect world with imperfect beings.

If a woman/man has limited knowledge in sexual affairs, the best way to break them out of that mould isn't in suddenly demanding for what you want on bed; it is in communication.

While courting, probe (ask,talk) to know his/her limits.

The man should talk to his wife, get to know her fears. This is why I disagree with those that feel women should be more spiritual than men. Yes, a woman should be spiritual but her husband better be more spiritual. Women are given to emotions, sentiments and a dash of gullibility. If her husband isn't more spiritual, she is going to be listening to more of what her pastor says than what her husband says.

Now, every kind of spouse one picks has an advantage and disadvantage too; spiritual, lightly spiritual, atheist, free thinker etc. That is why you should pick that which will be of more advantage to YOU and not to the society.
It is not uncommon to see spiritual spouses (men or women) being uncomfortable with sexual styles that do not conform with what they had been told and unfortunately it is only few that will adapt.

So, tell your brother; patience and constant communication is the key. Going outside will not solve the problem, he will still be utterly dissatisfied and resentful neither will breaking up the marriage help for surely, there will still arise problems that will sorely test either of them; will they break it off then?

Chei! Funny and scary.

xage:
Shocked to find you here....your brand is too big for nairaland...should ve used a different moniker

Now, this is interesting...do I know you?
As for a different moniker, I disagree. Brand too big? Now that statement had me in stitches. Seriously though, reveal thy self

How do you plan on preserving? I prefer watermelon juice but if you are going to add preservatives, I'd rather blend watermelon, cool it and drink.

Cucumber juice too is cool (I am talking to those that blend) especially if you want your juice or smoothie green.
Pawpaw is another favourite of mine, pawpaw and pineapple...heaven!

Akpabio's calling is oratory spiced with humour. Even his critics know this...His words are aimed at distracting you while running you down just like the 'rumoured' rat during my secondary school days that was said 'blew its victims foot with air so that it could later chew the foot'

Akpabio, awo uko!

So, where's the criticism she supposedly attracted?

tuoyoojo:
Ok
She look good.

Am glad is has shed the excess weight

I pray she gets a ring soon

She's got a ring

I think there are instances where you don't need anyone's advice to know if you are inconsiderate or uncaring. This is one of such.
I also hope you addressed his rudeness except the love dey 'over-shark' you

She had money for plane tickets but not for shopping?

safarigirl:
He was a handsome bloke . He admitted to having unclean thoughts, dreams and actions, so I'm a lil skeptical as to his state of virginity at his death. Oh, and I was born 3 months premature as well, great minds

Handsome you say? Looked more like a hawk I am skeptical about his virginity too but I guess masturb.ation and unclean thoughts don't count.
You came 3 months early? You must have really been impatient to see what the world looked like