₦airaland Forum

Tedpgrass:
Hmmmmmm.

Na true you talk

.

So u see.. The motive was evil from the unset... U stay in rent, while u build home for your father who's lived his life alrwdy

Tedpgrass:
Things happen.

Not a good reason to divorce
Let her learn her lesson
You should actively also invest for yourself and children.. Can borrow a leaf from her as she seems to be the hustling type.

Look from the prism of her trying to build for the future if there was to be a strange turn of events.


Keep the love


.

.. In her fathers name

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

Twitter stories bro

Angy55:
Hahaha. I already declined. Thanks for the Info.

Come work with me.....

wevy:
7 years later..got my first 6 figure paying job. All those years of experience on low paying jobs eventually paid off.

To those saying start a business, not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur. Some people do better as part of a system!

Hi

It will come to pass.. But before then.. Get sense first

Aadeyinka:
The apartment is so cute and going for affordable N5m best price offer.

it is on half plot and have many advantages like constant electricity area, good location and inside estate , secured environment, a completed shop in front.

call Mr.Dairo 08033700005 to inspect

Photo please

Abeokuta vs ota, pls which is the best place to build and raise a family... Considering all factors like roads,access to basic amenities,schools, infrastructure etc

Holluwhakemmy:
Teaching job that is Mon- Fri, 20 days (500*20=10,000) you still have 30k left. New company 25k with accomodation. I still preferred the teaching job. The cost of living in Ota is expensive , but there are more opportunity there too. Just follow your mind.

Are u in ota?

Dripy:
Don't relocate to Ota. Leaving a 40k job for a 25k job is unacceptable. How can a management job be 25k? You guys should put some respect to the word "Manager"
Do you know Ota and environs well, Can you drive, do you have a flair for marketing? these are salient questions you must answer.
That your aunty is a bad person, how does she want you to cope with 25k monthly, that company belongs to your aunt and she wants to use you as her first slave.

Avoid her avoid her job.

Cleaners earn more in my org

1.5m.. Cash available

But i have been using corwy card since last year... Whats de muse abt it now?

Dennis3D:
Contact us for your designs and construction services

Can you give me a executive 3bedroom bungalow design or an twin 2bedroom bungalow design. M.


Thanks

MrOkenwa:
Chief, Whether the job was given to you directly or you took it by proxy, a caveat is being attached to your name here and that should matters to you more than anything else.
The client has been patronizing artisans here and shouldn’t be made to regret his decision.
The alleged contractor has resurfaced here recently( or his mentee) so he’s not totally out of reach.
I know you can get this matter resolved, pls do.

For the records, you’re a very good artisan and I never regret engaging you in my projects.
Your after-service maintenance is equally commendable.

So my house was burgled in February by thieves, which left 6 windows and their nets vandalized. The lead bricklayer that built the house took money before he could go and assess the level of damage done to the windows, same with the welder that constructed the burglary proof.
Adedward sent his boys to fix the 6 windows and their nets on our preferred day, without even billing us.
Keep it up man.

Which ares did this occur?

Dennis3D:
If you have a survey plan. You can share it with me. Let me see what I can do for you.

Currently doing the construction of this one below. Though it's 4 units of 2 bedroom flats.

Your land size will determine if your brief will fit in it.

Yes i have a survey plan but it's not with me now... The land size is a 50ft width by 110ft length..

Rectangular shaped land


Can this help?

woles3435:
Hello, I need a professional advise and service on Architectural Planning and quantity surveying cost of 2 units of two bedroom with 2 units of room and parlor self contain or 3 units of two bedroom bungalow in Abeokuta.

I will appreciate your advise and service. Thanks

Pls I need same advise on a twin 2bedroom,can I link up with you?

micgray100:
is almost within the same region... Don't forget is a + or - Average... 10million naira budget is within rage ..

Hajji.. Whats ur take on this?

Victorprofan:
@Ken, have u gotten?
Am also looking for an apartment in oke mosan area..maybe we can share if you don't mind..08064333046..am in Lagos, looking to relocate by next week..we can whatsap with d number I dropped

Did u still relocate?

engray:
Guys in Abeokuta, please advise.
I'm thinking of relocating my family from Lagos to Abeokuta.
Here is my questions regarding this move.

1. Which locations in Abeokuta are considered very good to live with good light, road etc.
2. What's the range of cost of a miniflat(room and parlour self contained) or a 2 bedroom apartment in such areas.
3. What's the cost of living like in Abeokuta for a family of three(husband, wife and , baby)
4. How peaceful is Abeokuta
5. What is the cost of renting a good shop in a good location?

Thanks guys as I read your positive responses.

Did you still relocate to abeokuta?.....
Whats your take so far?

Can you design a twin 2bedroom bungalow?

Goodevening.. Can you give a unique twin 2bedroom bungalow design?

micgray100:
Budget 10Million Naira to Average taste or
Budget above 10Millon Naira more based on your level of finishing.

Sorri it's a twin 2bedroom bungalow.... Its the current price yu stated proven.. Considering current market price?

Pls howmuch will it cost to building a twin 3bedroom bungalow.... Current market price


Thanks in anticipation

LadyTiannah2:
On the contrary, I haven't even opened my twitter app today, nor am I a feminist activist...I'm just a woman tired of seeing men disrespect women all the time.

So asking Nigerian men to respect women is so crazy and out of this world that I have to be tagged a feminist?? Wow. Just wow. You Nigerian men are truly special creatures.

. You are duly respected... Don't be mad ok

PrimadonnaO:
LOL. You're joking.

What are the issues that come with being a graduate?

In this 21st century, you'd think to marry an illiterate? So many cons dear. So many. I bet you think that they're humble.. but you've not seen insecurity and intimidation reading their ugly heads.

Very true

valcorp:
I will lend my 2kobo and ask u to think it through. I worked with a federal agency where I got at least 400-450k monthly ( for protection of information I won't mention names), owned my own 3bedroom flat, a 2012 Camry but still left it all behind to relocate. Currently I save the same amount I was earning in Nigeria( after paying all bills including rent, tax and feeding) and I will advice anyone Against relocating back to Nigeria till after 2023. Nothing seems to be working currently. Many wish they were in ur shoes

Hello sir, can you advise on the country to relocate to.. I have the means... And how do I prepare my self with to get a paying job... Pls I need ur dirwction

iamblest:
Please take note, prices of building materials I put up there was at 2018/2019 prices ..price have now doubled ...take note

Please i would love to start my building project.... 3bedroom bungalow...or a twin 2bedroom bungalow

Pls what's de current cost of achieving this feat.


Pls I need ur assistance

Emmatet:
They are always angry

Fact.. Anger issues

mechanics:
The idea of keeping their money to themselves is not the best and for her to be paying the monthly rent is not ideal.

Stfu