₦airaland Forum

Keneking: Has anyone ever seen the hairs on the President's head. I am sure fresh air hardly gets there.

Shut up
is that an issue?

kai haliburton and Siemens don wound GEJ

naptu2: I like Martins Oloja's question on corruption and the national assembly.

na better man be that

corruption, corruption, corruption... yes

hey yes

they are talking about perception management

Prof Corruption: The journalists are as clueless as GEJ. What a meretricious mediocre of a president!

well the entire nigerian system is largely mediocre

manny4life: No it isn't but NL isn't well structured and organized.

You've got a point sha.

Seun!! take note. please speak to Reno about this
abeg no fall my hand

manny4life: The day NL repositions itself other than the thrash we get fed daily, that day, they will be taken seriously and patronized.

Is twitter anybetter than NairaLand especially within the Nigeria context?

I doubt

@Enkidu

really sorry about the sad situation

I would have advised that you shagged his wife in return,
but 9ja girls are not so great in sexual vengeance

Best wishes

jidegirl12: ......Would you allow your own brother to marry that kind if girl?

.....people just need to put themselves in other people's shoes before talking !

For me sha, I can marry her easily. As long as she's worth it (afterall, if na Aisha Sesay of CNN. U think sey wetin her uncle do go concern me)
I wont hold my brother from marrying her either, as long as he understands and can handle the implications

I would hold my son from marrying her, but if he puts up a good fight, I'd know he can handle it

Aafulenu: so you want to call off the marriage just because she told you about her past? what kind of a person are you? the truth is that you dont love her, you neva did.
if i may ask why did u decide to marry her in the first place?
even as u are casting stones are you perfect? am sure you have bad deeds if not worse in you past.
inshort this girl is better off without you cos you will be d type of husband that will make her life misrable, by reminding her of her past. if u sneeze u will say its cos she slept wit her uncle thats y u have a cold. smh
you might even have been d one pestering her to tell u abt her past, now she told u , u cant deal with it.
i wont be suprised if you end up with an 'angel' with worn out to-to and damaged womb from numerous abotions.
may God never bring your kind never come my way.
my hrt goes out to that girl , i can just imagine what she must be going tru.

pls ignore my typos, and if i insulted u, it wasnt my intention

It is important that both the guy and girl are happy at the start of a marriage
if one is not, it is best they call it off
It doesnt matter what happened, whether its the guys fault or hers

There are some folks that cannot get married to a girl that was sexually abused/assaulted.
It might be silly, but we all have our strengths and weaknesses
God help us all

@Topic

Yes, it is not a great idea to divorce. Afterall, if divorce comes cheap, then there is no need to marry in the first place
but what exactly is marriage. Is it sex or the bonding of two soul mates?
Were adam and eve married? who married them?
or was seth married? who directed the exchange of wedding vows

1st Corinthians that was referred to says a lot of stuff about sex and marriage within a context
within that context, Paul who was a bachelor didnt even want his church to have sex whether married or not

1 corinthians 7: 1-2 Now for the matters you wrote about: “ It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman .” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

*just musing*

hsapien: 1. We've been together since april 2011 and i've had intimate relations with her.
2. She works in lagos
3. Wnt be happy.

Excellent. As jidegirl said, case closed
but please dont tell folks why it happened. Simply tell them to ask her

@Billyonaire

LOL
You're a crazy guy
*I meant that in a fun way *

hsapien: as it is now, i am a quagmire. I cn't believe this, SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD FORGET THE WEDDING PLANS BECAUSE I SAID I WANT TO TAKE UP THE CASE AGAINST HER UNCLE. Isnt dat enough sign to show that she is nt ready to quit seeing her uncle?

It sure is a sign to show that she is in awe/embarrased or scared of this her uncle and or the act
It is also a convenient excuse for you to call off the relationship if you want to

Me, although its a past event. I go talk to the uncle. Man to man without anger.
I go even ask am question like small pikin: "So uncle, how will you like this case to be handled?" etc
I know say im go dey shake sef and avoid me and my wife after that


It's your call. I know what I'd do

@OP

No matter how much you pray,.. nothing physical will happen
I'll let you in on a little prayer secret

As you pray about something persistenly, you rub minds with God on that issue,
this rubbing of mind leads you to be bold, courageous etc, you don't feel satisfied, you want more, you want action
(for example, its your prayer life that pushed you here)

Now that flame you come off with is the important bit, ..and not the prayer per say (the prayer is a way of helping you catch that flame/faith)
That flame if you don't let it die down will pierce through anything

You might even see yourself standing in front of GEJ's convoy and demanding he comes down and gives you a billion dollar contract,
without fear that you will be shot or run over
(ok, now you know, what do you intend to do about it)

DailyNews: Now y did I tell dis long story?
They tot guys not to believe in true love while growing as boys, so when these boys become guys n men, they still exhibit those belief.....

Nna, hands up

I was also taught this by girls when I was growing up o
My gentleman behaviour was not working
They made me understand that I needed to be rough (infact, some told me straight-up)
I needed to also buy many icecream and thief my papa motor

well, as I fine small, I soon devised a smart way around this
I no go tok my strategy

Godysien: Life's experiences had taught me great or even greater lessons. One of such is that, if a man was either pre-destined or destined for something or a place with or without praying, he will still get it or reach there. Practically, a friend of mine that we performed an interview together some months back who didn't have the hope of being call-up by one of the leading banks in Nigeria after the most performing candidates were invited for training and the recruitment process formally closed got his invitation and currently on training with the rest of us, while most of the outstandingly performed candidates were dropped for some common reasons. When asked how he got it after the process was closed, he said and i quote" When i wasn't invited at first, i put the whole stuff behind myself and continue moving ahead with my small-scale business. No prayer or even juju was enchanted to get it". Now with this happening, i swiftly declared though not concluding that a man can reach his destiny even without praying. So fellow N'LANDERS what are your stands on this issue to help me in making a valid inference?

There is a reason amongst many why the northern part of Nigeria is more backward economically
....the belief in destiny

prayer and magic is not also the key that will take you forward

in the simple calculus of life, even in the most antichrist or atheist parts of this world.
what you've just narrated about your friend happens to others too


.........sorry, i had to burst your bubble

joangirl: I notice any time I take time out to pray for a miracle job and marriage connectivity,I would always dream or get a prophecy that God has answered.for example thru out yesterday I couldn't sleep cos I was really worried about my problems so I put in a worship cd and praised God before I slept off. I has a dream that a prophet who I never knew came to me and told me that I wasn't suppose to be in this level dat God has blessed me so much dat he was suprised I was still like this.I am a little worried cos I always hear Good news in my dream but it never manifest.the last time I took time out to pray a man I never knew met me in church and said dat God said he should tell me he has answered my prayer and I should stop weeping.any time I take time out to pray I immediately get a message that the prayers have been answered ny dream or prohecy from poeple I just met on the street,But the problem is still there and infact becoming worst and worst everyday. pls christians what do u think I can do to bring this blessings to physical manifestation.I have conquered in the spiritual but I want it to manifest.thanks for your contribution.

Whether your dreams are actually spiritual or not might not matter
the message even apart from dreams et al is clear
get your behind up from looking up to heaven
apply your hands diligently.

It's the work of your hands that are blessed

Aafulenu: i smh for sone people's reply, u guys are asking y she didnt stop @ age 18-21, are u in her head? do u knw what she is going tru? what if her tell the OP is her way of speaking up? even if its late.
what did she gain by telling her husband to be? if u look at it well she has nothing to gain by telling the secret, to me i think she is indirectly crying for help.
it left for the OP to help her


just see as u pple are calling her slut etc, a real slut will keep her secret with her, and take it with her to her grave.

i blame d girl sha, she tot she could trust the Op and by telling him, thinking he would help her not knowing that she will end up being dumbed and labelled a slut.

You're a very sensible girl
may you live a thousand years

@OP

I think your major concern is not that she was shagging someone
It is that she was shagging her uncle
who happens to be her blood relative

so you need to isolate the issues properly

Are you worried about the spiritual implications?
Is that what this is all about?

kai!!!

*yawns*
these guys actually debated this topic through the night (UTC)
even the heartbroken bf ran off to sleep

Whatever happens, this would teach the girl a hard lesson not to be naive even to trusting her man
even her family will turn against her for wanting to ruin her uncles marriage
yeah, and the uncle will go on with his life. After all this is Nigeria, -a man's world
I have seen this play out a 'thousand' times.

I know that if it were me, I'd confront the uncle. He (the uncle) has so much to loose
I'd also drill into the girls mind to find out what can be salvaged
I'd postpone the marriage plans while soughting out the psychological issues
I'd not tell my family

But we all have different capabilities, strengths and weaknesses
some fight better online than offline

ileobatojo: Lmao! How about a quick non s.exual peck on the cheeks and we call it a day?

If you be girl, then yes.
It could be se.xual or non se.xual kiss plus a nice goodnight squeeze hug

but if you be boy, then I have this to say to you: "get behind me satan" "it was adam and eve, not adam and steve"

ileobatojo: Wow, get out of my brain! We posted pretty much the same thing at the same time. I just wanna kiss you right now! You get it!!

em wait first before the kissing *blushing*
u be boy abi girl?

There is this story (cant remember exactly) about about a couple in the US that kidnapped a girl when she was young
they rap.ed her till she was mature and she even had a baby
Sometime in the girls adult life she decided to escape

why did she not escape earlier?

These things are not as easy as we think
there's a lot of psychology implications involved

or is it the stories of some priests that molested young boys
these boys could only tell decades later

That she's telling him about the affair speaks volumes of her trusting/simple personality
the same weakness that allowed her uncle molest her

Of course the guy can simply walk away
as simply as the girl could have avoided telling him and saving herself some headache

I guess things are not that simple as he is about to find out

coogar: confront the uncle?
like he would admit he's been abusing his niece....what's the essence of confronting the uncle? he should just leave the chic for the men who would take her as she is.......

I would do it out of concern
especially that someone like that could break a filial trust

He would deny alright,
but a confession can be got from him if the guy and girl work on it together

Its just a suggestion out of anger sha

(ensure you keep her relationship with her uncle a secret o. dont go telling your friends)

@OP

its not much of her fault
she's tried to wash her conscience clean by telling you this secret

if you feel that this issue will disturb your relationship with her
perhaps you can slow down on the wedding plan
and confront her uncle
(I would)

remember to take a tape recorder with you
you might need this when speaking with the girls mum if you choose to take this route (with the girls permission)

MaisseD: ................editted.. The point is,u never know when a smart guy is out for d kill,except u av meta-physical powers. A man could spend 4 days a week wit u for two years,just to keep enjoying wats between ur legs. He will go to d extent of introducing u to his family and friends. Call u all d time,and he knows he aint 4 real. Y don't u guys act dis way instead,meet a girl,tell her u like her and u wnt to spend most time wit her,but u re not looking toward marriage @ all. U guys should say it straight from d onset,rather than acting like born liars

Its sad dear, but we've always been that way
right from the time of se.xual freedom or ambition

If it were possible to tell girls that we only want to have se.x with them and they agree
we would do so willingly
thats why runs girls have a profitable market

Few guys enter into a relationship with the express intention of breaking girls heart
all we want is se.x. Heart break is the collateral damage
sometimes, from simply wanting se.x, guys get stuck. It happens loads of times

I would suggest that girls somehow try to understand the kind of girls that their prospects like
both physically, emotionally, pychologically, intellectually and character wise
before commiting it to them
For example, by reading my posts, a girl might be able to predict my type of chiks

There are some of us that like great bumbums
If you dont have one, im go hard to settle for u
whether your character na female angel own or not

Interesting that "killing dangerous animals" like the title of the post suggests
brings out the wild animals in us

umhhh

tayoccu: Carry on, yaba left just issued your admission letter.

and where may I ask is that?
you will do good to shed more light on this great institution of yours
seeing that I am rather green in such issues

Thanks in anticipation

ItsModella: whatever, I ain't gonna remove that nice picture.

Great
Thanks for you considerate action
I will also proceed to remove mine

see what civilized vs uncivilized behaviour leads to?

***********************
oops me bad
didnt read properly
thought she said she was gonna take it off
so here I go again.

guys really sorry about this