₦airaland Forum

XXXXTENTACION:
Ok i grab....
but what if it this backfires... You know sometimes a solution can be worse than the problem itself...
for example somebody who spent 35 years of his life living with his parents and then without preparation send them to live alone and face the harsh realities of life...
what if after sending him away from home two days later you here he is kidnapped.. Or maybe drinks himself to stupor and gets engaged in an accident...

HE LL SORT HIMSELF OUT. THATS THE TOUGH LOVE.. You only owe him prayers from a good distance. 35 years sef is still young. Mine is or was almost 45 years. So 35 years is nothing naaa

Makschinchin:
Ooooops, another angle... I'm talking from real life experiences though...

Same here.. also from real life experience too

XXXXTENTACION:
More like emotional manipulation...
it may work but not all the time... This guy is a 35 years old man and not a child you can easily cajole...
if things get extreme and the emotions goes haywire that's how you have family hurting themselves and things get crappy...
the best thing is to sit down and talk heart to heart... And if they is no change you could just accept them the way they are and move on.... After all you can't change everything...

It's not same as emotional cajole.. Seems you dont understand what I meant. One of such measures in tough love is sending him packing from the house and if possible cut him off ,leaving him to handle his issues and not caring for him at all etc.. infact treat him as an orphan and withdraw every atom of love from him... Those actions tend to make them come to terms with reality... That's what I mean.

XXXXTENTACION:
Abeg which one is tough love again

It entails suppressing and suspending every form of 'supposed love' one has for an individual while applying stringent measures in correcting the abnormal or deformed character in such individual for his or her own good. Infact one has to kill every empathy or sympathy for that child while applying such necessary measures in setting the receiver in the right path.

XXXXTENTACION:
What do you suggest they do ? .... They should kill their first son

Give him TOUGH LOVE

XXXXTENTACION:
You can take a cow to the river but you can't force it to drink water....
If you read what the o.p wrote you see where he wrote that the elder brother is highly intelligent and a Ph.d Holder and not just some dunce...
If you manage to give birth to your own first son... When he owns a business, makes money for himself and is a Ph.D holder .. You can go ahead and cut yourself from your son and see how beautiful that goes for you....

You shld have also read from the Op's post where he accused his dad of over pampering him. But has now decided to ignore him.. So you see that one or both parents is always the reason for such bad upbringing...

XXXXTENTACION:
Ok if you give birth to your own first son you can chase him away and see how it goes....

I can never train my own first son in such way. Infact all my children. How can I train my own son to be a nuisance ,irresponsible child cum MUMU? I no fit abeg. And if I see anyone around him encouraging such, I ll so throw such person so far away... I wld never be a failure in such aspect.even if it ll take me both spiritually , physically and otherwise as long as it isnt an illegitimate means of making them responsible people, oga I sure ll cos I trust myself

Janella1:
My eldest brother is worst, sometimes I wonder if we are actually from the same womb, I regret being part of that family, always bringing tears to my eyes.

My dear it's well. Dont bother yourself. Just cut him off and think of yourself only for now. You will be better and happier when you cut him off... Make sure you let them know their boundaries with you shld they want to come close. You wld be surprised that he wont try such rubbish when it comes to you. Thats all

XXXXTENTACION:
He is living with his parents and as he is their son and blood....
you can't just kick him out like that....

Lol. You just wan find my mouth. Oga abeg go. Ebi like say naa your type we dey even talk about..

Makschinchin:
Chai! Bros Chatinet, this one too harsh now Show him some love and more love until he has no other option than to return the love.. God help him sha.. Being hostile to such people could even worsen the case.. Na wah oo

You re wrong... what such people need is called tough love and not what you re advocating.. That doesnt work

XXXXTENTACION:
He already runs a business for himself and he is also pursuing an educational career for himself what other responsibilty do you want him to take again ...

Lol.. Oga abeg shift... Didnt you see where the OP complains that he adds no value to the house but recks havoc destroying stuffs that he ends up not paying for while they the siblings do? What sort of responsible person does that? Infact, what's he even still doing in that house eating free food if he isnt irresponsibility personified ? Oga abeg I pray you have such person in your immediate family. How am I even sure you are nt one sef? Are you?

Tgrey:
For a nuclear family I disagree with you.
Family is family no matter what!
Had it been its a polygamous family your advice is ok
So you think that guy won't change?
All he needs now is support and care else the story will end in irony.
form my point of view you guys are not close or don't like him

It's obvious that that you have nt seen nor had any situation such as this in your immediate family

XXXXTENTACION:
Yeah why won't he feel entitled when he is the first born son ...

Lol... First born my ass.. First born that isnt ready to take up responsibility but wants everyone to bow to him? Him never start. He should try somewhere else and maybe in another lifetime.

RESPECT IS EARNED AND NEVER GIVEN.

XXXXTENTACION:
Ever heard of empathy and forgiveness ....
before you totally condemn someone atleast try to find out why and what motivates their actions...
the world would atleast be a better place if we learn to empatise and forgive....
this is a matured man at least speak to him and he will get to reason...

Lol... it's obvious you dont have anyone like this selfish ,self centred and entitled person in your immediate family. What makes you feel that all these measures you mentioned have nt been applied? There is something called TOUGH LOVE and that is exactly what such people need and deserve at that point to save them from further and total destruction



As per what motivates their action is something we all know. ENTITLEMENT ATTITUDE/ SPIRIT has engulfed him. Hence that lousy behaviour

XXXXTENTACION:
This case is very different... as stipulated by the O.P the elder brother runs a business and makes alot of money for himself and he also is training himself and he is now a Ph.d holder...

Oga stop making any case for that one. They re all same... Is it because I didnt come here stating mine from the beginning? Abeg stop making any silly excuse for them cos its same stupidity that is disturbing them.. Most of them are all selfish and self centred with serious entitlement spirit worrying them.

Matrixlord2021:
You are boasting that u dealt with ur brother,Thank God u r not man.In this life there are things that go round and come round.
All ones actions,reactions and inactions come back to the same.source.its the laws of karma.
Well adolescence and maturity are not the same.
But it would get to a time when u enter his or her shoes no matter how right or wrong you are,you would feel the pinch.
This is just the law of karma,whatever one sows he shall reap.
Even been employed or working doesn't shield one FROM the law of karma which is applicable to all.
In life the only thing I value is respect to anybody.
Before I disrespect anyone they must have bitten more than they can shew or pushed me toooo far.
The thing is when the person is not there again,one would remember that no one can be like a brother because some stupid stranger would do the same shit one did to a senior and there would be nothing one can do about it

If he wants to be treated as an elder brother, then he shld aft as one. Do you even know if he had done more than enough to every of his siblings? Oga every man his own tolerance limit. Since he feels everything is his and he doeant want to see anyone around the house, then he shld go get his. But sorry I WONT take that from him. Maybe some others can . Well he now knows his boundaries with me... if you like you call that boasting naa you sabi

houseontherock:
Really? I didn't know it was something common in Igbo land
I hope his parents leave a will otherwise he won't give his younger ones anything since he feels so entitled

Lol... Very very common amongst most shameless firstborns. Will or no will, my brother knows he CAN NEVER try such trash. Our parents are even the ones shielding him from our wrath.. We wld ve dealt with him long before I did. I had proposed handling him since 2008 but my parents requested that we gave him some more time. I dont know about how others wanted to handle theirs. But I dealt with him when he I got home after about 10 years on one of the occasions he came up with one of his nasty characters. Every man his own tolerance level.. Me i no fit at all with such person

XXXXTENTACION:
How many times have you ever posted your family problems on nairaland... Or does your family not have problems

It's all choice. Afterall when I had to ' clean up 'my eldest brother's fup behaving same way as Op's, my parents were some how 'embarrassed' cos of the neighbours and tenants. But to me, to hell with what they term embarrassment cos it wasnt at all. I had not been home for more than 10 years and that single day ended that rubbish.. All I got was settling bills from a distance incurred by a full grown man that never wants to take responsibility for anything

XXXXTENTACION:
The fact the he is the elder brother and he is also the first born son of the family has earned him all the respect that is needed..

Lol.... indeed. Pls keep such pathetic mentality within yourself

Toks2008:
I'm tempted to say *Pictures or I don't believe it* but make i no turn myself to agbaya on Nairaland.

Just do pushups to firm the muscles underneath and you are good.

Pushups work so well

Thanks

Sterope:
Well, I pray that for you. For me, it is better to be practical. There is nothing wrong with a saggy breast. Don't let these useless men tell you otherwise.

I get you but my opinion or choice isnt about the guys. I just love the way my breasts are and wldnt want them sagged or saggy... That's all...

Sterope:
Body change and pregnancy are the causes of saggy breasts after childbirth not breastfeeding.

Whatever is or wants to be the reason for such sag , there re always exemptions, I pray mine will be one.

XXXXTENTACION:
Posting this about his elder brother is enough disrespect....
* If you were the elder brother how would you feel if your younger brother posts this about you on a public forum....

RESPECT IS EARNED AND NEVER GIVEN

Mossadd:
bwest wey chigozie don turn to another thing

Lol... No be my own ooh...

AutoChick4U:
Depends, if you breastfed for a short period of time, it won't stress d boob much to fall.

Okay

ThugCheetah:
e go reach everybody.

Abeg ooh... no be every breast dey fall after breastfeeding naa

AutoChick4U:
If not for breastfeeding eh, anyways all boob go still fall

Chaii!!! God dey. But not all dey fall after breastfeeding naa

I pray mine remains the way it is. I dont need stories of sagging... God abeg help me and my breats ooh. Lol...

GOTVee:
Even though I'm a born again Christian, I know the media will eventually blame Islam for the sin of one man. Why must we Christians influence the media against our Muslim counterparts? Must the religion of any criminal be mentioned before prosecution? This is irresponsible journalism and I condemn it entirely. We Christians and Muslims are one and we Nigerians living together in peace and harmony have shown that we Christians and Muslims can actually co-exist. There are bad Muslims just as we have bad Christians. Majority of serial killers and pedophiles in history are Christians but no Muslim will ever condemn Christianity because of the sins of few Christians. We Christians really have a lot to learn from our Muslim brothers concerning tolerance

Pls stop being silly trying to be nice. Didnt you read where it was written that he had been radicalised and needed to be watched? Abeg waka

Harrykn:
Why y’all hating.
According to text, he is smart and intelligent and makes lot of money, A PhD student @35.
It’s still the parent’s responsibility to take care of him, other siblings can huge transformer if they don’t like it that way and besides you’ve forgotten to list his good deeds to portray that since you came to existence he has never done anything good.
Rest Jare, you don’t know what is going on and don’t disturb that guy again. If you can afford leaving the house for him please do and allow him stay there in peace.

PATHETIC YOU

lookingfly:
this is the way to go jare...... suffering is the only brain setter. You too much.

My dear naa so ooh. I even had to buy food specifically and specially for his inmates in the cell to beat him to pulp. He cldnt even walk for 2 days... I even wanted to make sure he is tried and jailed for his actions since has never been allowed to bear the consequences of his actions. My parents had always been preventing that... My mum had to beg and cried for me to withdraw the case so he wont be tried... So he was made to sign an undertaking... I had to even make my parents understand that they shld be ready to wait for another version of that guy if not worse if they tried to favor him far above the other siblings cos he is the first son. But for now, I have cut them all off my life so I can concentrate . But I ve made my point and they know what I can do. Worse case scenario, I burn down everything. I cant work and then contribute to the growth of the family, financially, emotionally and otherwise a riffraff that calls himself my brother will be feeling and acting so entitled cos he is the first son.I ve told them told them to rather give me the present value of all that I ve invested and entitled if they dont want trouble in that house since they feel females dont ve any say when it comes to inheritance. Well my dad isnt taking sides with my mum shaa. I know I can only relate to with my dad for now and NEVER my mum

lookingfly:
it's glaring your parents over pampered him because he was the first child and spoilt him which they're still doing today......I don't blame him, i blame your parents. The simple solution is kicking him out of the house and let your parents write their will without he's name. When he hustle out there, he would come to terms with reality. All these should be done without pity.

Thank you so much... mine tried one of those his useless attitudes when I came visiting. I had to get him arrested and he was given proper beating and was made to sign an undertaking. Nobody tell am, he left the house by himself . If my parents like, they shld re admit him again.. That's their problem. I have even cut off from them all