Romanoff:
Whether you marry her in church or court, the same rules apply in case of a divorce.

So your fear us unfounded and it gives you off as a dishonest person.

If you love someone, you'll treat them right. Na if you dey plan to do bad to your wife you go dey consider all these things.

Exactly what I was going to say, divorce is still possible even if it's only her bride price that you paid so stop all these unfounded fears and marry the love of ur heart. Telling her that you don't want Court wedding will rather make her unsure of the marriage as it may present you as having skeletons in ur cupboard.

I know only three of them, Van Danme, Arnold and Sylvester yet I m long married and about to become a grandmum

chatinent:
We all know there was more to the bread story. It could be they were already in a misunderstanding. It could be it was a toxic relationship. It could be the...you know the women “Chijioke, come and beat me if you are a man" thing. It could also have not been an intention to kill. However, the dead tell no tales and what everyone will take is you killed because of a loaf of bread.

This is not a justification for the murder. But here's an experience:

I used to be in a military school. You can understand what the environment is like...where thuggery is frequently misunderstood for regiment. Na so we dey Scale-A parade one day, one guy just came and pushed me saying that I was in his position. I was like "you could just speak rather than pushing, bro." Next thing was his asking me if I was the one he was talking to and all that thuggery. Before you could say Jack, man has thrown two punches...one on my face (I defended), and one at my lower abdomen. As I kind of lowered a bit due to the pain, he charged at me again. Only option I had was to return swift double punches to his lower left and right abdomen too to defend myself. Na so this bro fell down dey convulse. I was literally now begging him to stand in my mind and soul. Omo, this guy stopped breathing o...and we rush this guy to MRS. Na ₦50k I pay to treat am. How they started telling me he had kidney failure, internal bleeding, this and that was surprising. I'm like na this small thing cause all these sickness? Na so everybody sick?

If he had died, news would have been that sb killed sb just for a space in the parade ground. Nobody will consider the fact that I was not at fault, or that he annoyed me by punching, or I was first injured. Abi? Everyone would call me a murderer! I would have been
a victim of circumstance...with only myself knowing the truth..till the day they announce my sentence.


Even till date, I don't fight at all or engage. I don see things.


Anger is evil.

If possible, refrain from beating your wife. I don't support beating a wife at all. I don't support beating fa.

When angry, attempt to be silent or leave that place. Ignore the woman's words when infuriated. Go cool off and return. You may be happy you didn't do anything you'll regret. When calm, talk out your issues.

It's not easy but it's practical.

Whatever the case maybe, there's still no justification for a real man to lay hands on his wife irrespective of the level of provocation. Maturity in marriage is not just about age, every man should know this before jumping into marriage.

Kobojunkiee:
1. I am not giving you validation. You told a story and I simply acknowledged receipt of your side of the tale! However, I look forward to also hearing from the other person in the partnership to conclude on the truth of your claim. That's all!

2. Na you tell story!

I honestly i did not look at your username before wasting my precious time responding to you because I do know that most of these J. People usually reason things upside down as their heads doesn't do the normal 360". So check the next door, I m not available.

Kobojunkiee:
■ God said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Genesis 3 vs 16 & Luke 20 vs 34 - 36, so first, please stop dragging God's name into this. Second, how do you define "genuine love"? Are we all the same that we should all then define it the same way we do for ourselves and for others?

2. Stop lying! How does the time of consummation impact a person's ability to be in or act in a relationship? Following your insinuation here, most Churchians who claimed to possess God and genuine love shouldn't see the end of their marriages then, but sadly, the divorce rate in your religious settings mirrors that of those outside of such settings, implying that what your claims here are baseless imaginings and nothing more.

3. Sure, but humans change too.

You sure have a way of reading your bible upside down if you do have one and I will never stop connecting God to marriage because marriage is a union ordained by God himself so you just have to deal with that. Moreso I don't care about your definition of genuine love, I define mine by my understanding and yes call it whatever you like but I am proudly a Christian and goes to church. And so because I stand on the rock that is Jesus, I don't give a damn about ur unguided talk about Christians but one thing I m sure of is that myself, my whole family members and my marriage will outlive you and ur cohorts in Jesus name, Amen!!

Kobojunkiee:
1. Those are from fantastical stories you have fed on, stories fueled by love represented by brain chemicals and sex hormones. The problem is those fade in time, then what do you have left when reality sets in? That is where marriage really should begin. Marriage is meant to be an agreement — a business partnership of sorts — between a man and woman, and love is to be defined by that agreement. Procreation is indeed secondary.

2. Nice to here! Now, if only we can hear from your other half to confirm if it has also been blissful from her point of view.

This your response has also gone a long way in revealing how much of parental love you lacked in growing up hence you so demean the value of love in life generally. Love is something that infuses in you when you are the midst of it and reflects in you anywhere you find urself even without you knowing it. This is why it's very important for parents to create an atmosphere of love in their marriage to avoid raising toxic children who becomes a trait to the society and humanity.

xristos:

pardon me ..the scriptures u quoted are for entire believers not addressing marriage.

well..people have many interpretations on the idea and try to shy away from the truth.
it is what it is..

Read Paul's 1Cor7:8 down to 26..
verse 9 gives the truth...what a reason to get married
Same as when God made woman for the man.
like i said..all other things follow this main reason..which is fine.
.reason why marriages fail is when one partner begins to fail to perform his/er marital obligation (not sex only)..due to different sentimental reasons.

Why then should we base it on sex and procreation alone.Moreso all of us must not be completely selfish and backwards, if we must adhere to a total obedience to the word of God concerning marriage, same Paul you so love his admonition about sex in marriage in 1cor 7 also talks so much about marriage in Eph. 5: 25-33 yet you still don't see the importance of love, affection and care in marriage. You choosed to concern urself so much with sex in marriage throwing away love and still avoiding my question " if it's possible to conveniently enjoy sex with someone you don't love or bond with?

Kobojunkiee:
1. Those are from fantastical stories you have fed on, stories fueled by love represented by brain chemicals and sex hormones. The problem is those fade in time, then what do you have left when reality sets in? That is where marriage really should begin. Marriage is meant to be an agreement — a business partnership of sorts — between a man and woman, and love is to be defined by that agreement. Procreation is indeed secondary.

2. Nice to here! Now, if only we can hear from your other half to confirm if it has also been blissful from her point of view.

We do not need your validation to ascertain if our marriage is successful, enjoyable or blissful. It's us and only us in that marriage, built to our taste and our choice and it has been working beautifully for us for over 23 years now. I am not in any law court with you or anyone else for me to present my hubby as a witness for you to believe in whether what I said is true or not . It is what it is and you either believe me or believe what you like it's a free world. We are all entitled to our opinions when it comes to matters of the heart and no one can force another to think and act like the other. Whatever works for you go with it and leave me with mine as I owe you no clarifications.

prophetfire:
. That's how your teaching made Osinachi the gospel musician to continue to forgive till she went down six feet. Yes one can forgive, but you must not always remain in a marriage even after forgiving. It depends on the issues at play.

Yet majority of these taking the back door could have also been avoided if God and genuine love was a part of that decision from the onset. If these two were allowed to take preference from the beginning before the union was consummated, forgiveness wouldn't be so difficult and maybe just maybe occasions that demand forgiveness may not have even arisen in the first place because like I said earlier. If two people genuinely and sincerely care for each other, hurting the other will be like hurting urself even if it's in secret.

xristos:

show me the scripture that supports your belief..and I'll show mine
all what u wrote above are reasonable and necessary but are classified as OTHERS.. it's not the aim

1 Peter 4:8, Songs of Solomon 8:6-7, 1 Thes 5:11, Hebrews 10: 24-25. Yes procreation is one of the reasons but centering marriage on procreation is the reason a lot of marriages are failing today, God gives us children and it's a good thing but if it doesn't come marriage will still be beautiful because husband and wife are the only initial and primarypartners with God in that arrangement. Children are secondary so shouldn't be the determining factor of the level of joy in that marriage. And even when we want to have them, we should be reasonable about the number because even having more than you can cater for is a sin of its own.

xristos:
word!
I will say this forever...the first major reason for marriage is Legal Sex - which leads to raising kids (procreation)..otherwise it's needless.
everyother na secondary..- good food, help, dreams, goals, godly this and that..

some hav sex for reproduction only but have a very bad starved sex life..dat marriage no fit last

This mindset is the reason many of you can't build a good home because it has already collapsed before you even started. As far as I m concerned marriage is a beautiful thing because it's a union between two hearts that supposed to beat as one. You are meant to marry your friend and soulmate believing to build up your heaven in it to dwell together forever. At that point when you first meet and develop a thing for each other, it shouldn't be about what any of you possessed materially or what to gain materially but the beating of your hearts which will be the bedrock on which every other achievement will be built upon. If you genuinely love and care for one another in all circumstances, you will so bond together that it will be difficult for any of you to hurt each other even in secret. I know that many of you will come after me but I m talking from experience and this is the secret of my 23 years of a very blissful marriage. It's not about procreation because we agreed and only had one daughter who gives us so much joy while we still enjoy our marriage as if we just met yesterday. And if it's for sex, how do you enjoy sex with someone that you don't love or can't bond with?So be careful of what you place ahead in getting your life partner before you start generalizing marriage as something bad because for me it's the most beautiful experience.

Eriggs:
..and d moderator that pushed this to the fp is still viewing all these, allowing this guy to be typing off topic?
Tins r happening here.

Haba! Why are you so pained of his comments! The last time I checked, people are still free to comment however they feel like on any thread. Whether on point or off point so free him to make his comments in peace.

Jennyclay:
You're indeed a stingy man... so you don't want a girlfriend because you don't want to spend on her .


Incase you don't know, no lady would want to stay with a stingy man.... so if you are avoiding ladies because of common billing, you will still spend when you eventually want a girlfriend. You can't escape it. Keep running!

Biko, this is a new year, you men should learn to spend on your girlfriend/wife. Don't tight your hands.

Akagum!

Why are you talking as if the only reason women goes into relationships is for their bills to be paid by the man? Relationship is not all about one person depending on the other for financial responsibilities, stop basing your relationship only for the financial gain rather than genuine love and affection. People like you are the reason Nairaland guys generalize insults on Nigerian ladies. Pls add more value to urself and the rest of other ladies out there.

Owologbo:


Hope this your response is not for me?
I'm in Nigeria, please.

Except if you are the OP because I was only supporting what you said to the Op

HeartlessMan:
Please investigate well let's be sure she didn't kill him.
Murder is worse than rape.

Even if she murdered him he deserved it then, what was he looking for in her apartment in the first place.

lexy2014:


If the place no favour, come back. Which one be all this grammar?

I tire o

Owologbo:

No mind the guy.
I can do Christmas anywhere in the world if going out is the only issue.
I stayed in my house all through.

Make una no mind this person, he just wanted to create awareness, now we know that you are in UK so rest and allow us to rest it's new year pls

koife:

Oga the write up no be to show off I carry GOD name Beg you, na to warn and inform yapa crew. Trust me, that's my honest intention.

Egbor, no vex u hia.

Seasons greetings

So what happens to the thousands of Nigerians who has been living in UK plus millions of those that still travels everyday. Are they still not there enjoying their lives peacefully and you that just went yesterday will not allow us to hear word telling ppl not come. You are meant to live ur own life and allow others to make their choices, enough with noise pls.

koife:

Brosie, I don't care. Nigeria is such a lovely country, it hard to explain except you experience certain things. Bro abeg no ccurm hia

Come back first to show how serious you are before telling others not to come.

Abeg learn how to live a private life and desist from discouraging others, if you can't stay in foreign country then come back to your oshodi/mushin lifestyle that you are use to. It's not by force to study abroad especially when that life is not into you in the first place. It's holiday season and is meant for resting and family bonding not for mushin and ikorodu carnivals

Juanmike:
When are they divorcing?

Sorry o you will wait forever, enemy of progress

dyera:
The retired Olosho is enjoying the fruit of her labor. Well good for her.

Appreciate good thing and move forward so that good thing will come your way. There's no need hating and calling names when it's not necessary especially when you are not a saint either urself.

Ballzproblem2:
the problem with Nigerians they think money is everything.



a) peace of mind


b) security


c) good weather.



Nigeria can't guarantee you what I listed above even with money.

This is just the exact answer, it's not everyone that relocates because of more money security and peace of mind summounts every other thing and you and I know that no amount of millions can buy you these things in Nigeria.

faceLAGOS:
I’d choose a Nigerian over a ghanian a million times.

They have this attitude of trying to look down or envy someone that is better than them.

Naija no send you.

GBAMSOLUTELY

sukkot:
charle tell us how the nigerian would blow out the whole office during lunch time with smell of abula and iru and shaki

The most senseless comment I have ever come across, mtcheeew

kevwemike:
do u know wat the man is facing at home in her hands? U better don't talk wat u don't know

Do you live with them or has he complained to you before? It's good to condemn wrong doing when you see it rather than romancing it, don't forget that what you admire and support has a way of coming to you.

tiswell:
She's gradually joining the bandwagon of feminists



I pray she retraces her steps immediately, lest she regrets it

What kind of nonsense talk is this? Retrace her steps how, was she the one who misbehaved in the first place. Some of you are so blinded by this gender nonsense that you no longer differentiate between truth and wrong. She and Yul who needs to retrace their step?

Guest2008:
Just one month left my people. Were you able to accomplish what you aimed for at the beginning of the year?

As for me, I'm still hopeful on the God of the eleventh hour

To the glory of God I achieved 80% of my goals and still trusting God for the completion of the remaining 20% before the end of 2022

Because it's the remembrance of the gift of salvation to mankind, the birth of christ. Nothing else can be more special than that.

drake2:
How many kg?

If that 25kg is not big enough why not give your own let's see and applaud you too. Mtcheeew

Blessedmercy8:


My dear people change.

I just hope Basketmouth is not looking at those other celebrities dumping their spouses and going for smaller girls. Men can copy bad things, you know.
Watch video here.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXR0xGwuS5o

So if she is this good as a marriage counselor now, how come she didn't marry the perfect partner? And how come she didn't make her marriage to work at all cost if she knows all these because you should live what you preach if you are not a hypocrite

AbujaCitiBlog:

They are playing him! Yul should keep quiet for once. May didn't write this! She is being coached by AY who wants to Bleep her by all means!

They will ask her to give out body language that shows she wants a public apology. He bought it and then goes on to do the public apology. They now pull back and make him look like a premium fool!

May didn't write this and you can quote me anywhere!

If Yul knows what is good for him, he should ignore her completely. He is being used to catch cruise.

Be careful of what you are supporting because the measure you give is the measure you will receive. It's as simple as that