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Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 11:56pm On Mar 18, 2013
olushy: Flow1759 u million much , 500 thousand like, flow on
thanks Olushy. 1 love
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 9:46pm On Mar 18, 2013
[quote author=4kizo]Flow u wnt kil me [/quote

4kizo u never see anything sef. I promise u bucket full of laughter grin
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op):
Sunday came with the thought of church service.

In our bathroom door lies a pin hole. A pinhole that guys used to have a glimpse of the n'aked body of female visitors. The code name of this act was "flatscreen". because when you peep through the pin hole, u could get a view that was as clear as watching a b'lue f'ilm in a flatscreen Tv.


"why u dey flatscreen my babe, u dey mad?" Tega queried pushing Man very hard. "ehen, u no dey flatscreen another person babe?" Man attacked. They argued in a low vioce for a while. "make una no dey argue, make the babe no hear una from inside oh" i cautioned.


One thing about our house was that we lived in brotherly love. We shared shirts, trousers, even shoes.


Every other person had gone to the bus stop to wait for the bus MOG told us of, except Me and Man. We were the last to visit the bathroom. We were rushing up in other for us to meet up the bus.


"Man, see wahala oh, one person don wear my trouser wey i wash and iron oh" i complained after searching all nooks and crannies for my black trouser. "that mean say u go look for another trouser wey u go do Wet soul na" Man responded.

Wet soul was a code name for pouring water and brushing the dirts off a dirty cloth(trouser or shirt). So immediately you finish doing that, you would wear the cloth no matter how wet it was. Your hope would be that the cloth would be dried by the breeze on your way going out. The name Wet soul was gotten from the name of the American designer shirt "Dirty Soul". Wet soul was first done by Man on a Dirty soul designer shirt. So that was how the code name was coined out


"me sef oh, dem don wear my shoe oh" Man noticed. "u go wear that Waka about shoe na" i suggested.


Waka about shoe was a shabby looking timberland shoe we had. The shoe was the kind of shoe a dog could bark at when it sees it. Man even told me there was a day he wore the Waka about shoe to do kponkpon work.


So with my Wet soul designers trousers, and Man's Waka about designers shoe, we walked fast to meet the others at the bus stop.
4 Likes
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 6:02pm On Mar 18, 2013
[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]You know say me dey feel your story well but men you gats read my own too.... Follow my signature to the link.[/quote]okay my oga at the top.
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 5:19pm On Mar 18, 2013
"wey Baba jay na?" Brainbox asked as we enter the room. "him dey toilet oh, the guy dey vomit for toilet" Man said. "so na dis Saint Remy wey him drink, nahim make am dey vomit, after him go say him be old man" i said.


"wetin una carry for una pocket na?" Man asked. I brought out the content of my back pocket. I was right, it was two tin Peak milk. Brainbox also emptied his pocket, what he brought out surprised me.

Sadines, tin tomatoes, sachet salt, onion balls were what he stole. We had actually gone shopping, shopping without paying.


"dis Brainbox u be original thief oh, see all the things wey u thief, infact na u be the king of looting for dis house oh" i said.

"which kin king of looting him be? For where Baba jay and Man dey? E get one day wey Baba jay go Nkiru place go do L101, so wen him reach there, him com see say na Boxers him wear and Boxers no dey get pocket, naso him com put the tin tomatoe for him mouth oh, as Nkiru com dey talk to Baba jay, Baba Jay no answer her so she no go know say him put tin tomatoe for him mouth, instead Baba jay just dey shake him head" Snoop narrated. "shey Nkiru catch am?" i asked, "for where, dem dey catch breeze?" Tega added. I believed the story, because Baba jay had a mouth that was wide enough to contain even as much as "five" tin tomatoes conveniently. (kids: don't try this at home).

"u never hear anything sef, what of Man wey wear Cap go do L101, as him reach Nkiru shop naso him thief dried Fish com put am for the Cap, com wear the Cap for him head" Tega narrated. (kids: you can try this at home, but don't let mummy catch you).

I couldn't help but laughed at how guys could go the extra length just to get an A in the course L101. In my Mind, i was trying to figure out between Man and Baba jay who could be called "the course rep." of L101.

"mehn! Boys get skills for Looting oh" Brainbox confessed and we all laughed.


An hour later, it was time to sleep. It was certian that two persons would be sleeping on the floor. The question was who and who would the two persons be?

Man whispered an idea to me,"Man wey dey reason!!" i cheered.

"Tega, show for outside, me and Man wan see u" i told Tega.

Tega joined us outside and Man said, "u know say Pkc no dey, and u know say na two visitors you bring? That one mean say na two people go sleep for ground, and e no go make sense make ur visitors sleep for ground?" Man explained. "yes na" Tega responded. "so me and Man wan tell u say we go sleep for ground, but u go find us small money" I said, "like how much?" Tega inquired, "just give us 1000naira, 500naira for Flow, 500naira for me" Man said.

"ok, make i give una 600naira abeg" Tega pleaded. "no be groundnut we dey sell wey u go dey price am na" Man said. "u be our main man, no wahala bring am we go manage am like that, bring the 600naira" I added.

As Tega was bringing out the money from his wallet, i recalled what MOG told me earlier, his words: "200naira blessing is not the same as 500naira blessing". I had already recieved doublefold blessing that day.
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Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 2:25pm On Mar 18, 2013
"Nkiru i wan buy 1500 recharge card, MTN" i ordered as we got to Nkiru's shop. "Oga Haruna, i dey greet oh" I greeted Huruna her husband who was seated in the shop carrying their baby. "oga Haruna i hail oh" Brainbox also greeted.


Brainbox stood at my back staring at the wares on display. Unaware to me that he had already started "writing" L101 "exam" and his next course would be L102.


"oga Haruna, dis una pekin fine oh" i flattered as i carried the little baby from him. I actually said that with heavy irony. "ehen na her mama she resemble na" Haruna said smiling.


My oh my!! The baby was d'amn "beautifully u'gly", just like her mum. "Like mother, like daughter" goes the popular adage. But my prayer for the baby was that she doesn't grow up to become u'glier than her mum. If not she would most definately win the "u'gly pageant" as the u'gliest woman in Nigeria.


Brainbox finished writing L101 exam and started writing L102, as i could feel him putting something in my back pocket. I tried to figure out what it could be, then i concluded it to be small size Peak tin milk because it was a bit heavy.


After about 2minutes of carrying the beautifully u'gly baby, i handed her to her Dad, before she would infect me with "u'gly disease" making my unborn child look like her.


Nkiru handed over the 1500 recharge card to me, and i paid.


As i was about turning to leave, i felt another Peak tin milk entered my other back pocket. It seemed Brainbox had not finished writing L102 exam, so i tried to kill time by recharging my phone with the 1500 card. Before i could finish recharging, "pens up!!", Brainbox signalled the end of L102 exam by pinching me at the back.


As we walked out of the shop, i saw from the corner of my eyes that Haruna was staring at my two bulging back pockets. Or had we gotten carry over in L102?


"abi him don catch us?" i asked myself as i increased my steps.
2 Likes
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 9:55am On Mar 18, 2013
valboy20: flow u try....buh ya update x bcumn shorta
you no see the time wey i post am? Na sleep cause am oh
Health › Re: 1 Million HIV-Positive People In Benue – govt by flow1759: 9:36am On Mar 18, 2013
nawa oh. So corper wey dey serve for benue go begin dey cry be dat.
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 12:54am On Mar 18, 2013
"Flow wetin MOG tell u for Outside sef?" Baba jay asked as i entered. "normal thing na, him say make i find am small money" i responded.


"ehen, as u and MOG dey outside dey yan, Bigie come return ur jeans wey him borrow from u yesterday, see am there" Baby Jay said pointing at where the trouser was.


I took the trouser and wore it, "Bigie don make dis trouser big for me oh, why i give am sef" i complained and the whole house laughed. I felt something was inside the pocket of the jean trouser so i deeped my hands into the pocket. I felt something like a roll of R'itzler in the right pocket. "shey dis Bigie dey sell igboh? See as him pack plenty R'itzler put for pocket" i tot. It wasn't a roll of Ritzler but a roll Money.


I couldn't bring my right hand out of the pocket, because it had instantly stuck to the Money like bee to nectar. Even if my right hand came out of the pocket, i promised myself it wouldn't come out with the money because my guys were ready to "kill, steal and destroy" to get their share of the money.


I was sure the money wouldn't be less than 3k. I thought for a while of how i could spend the money quickly before Bigie would realize his mistakes, so i concluded and said,
"Brainbox make we go Nkiru side na, i wan buy 1500 recharge card".


My mission was to buy the recharge card from Nkiru's shop, and leave. I never knew Brainbox had a seperate plan. L102
1 Like
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 6:38pm On Mar 17, 2013
YOUNGKAHUNA: I Just Love The Originality In Ur Literature..........Flow On Bro.
thanks YOUNGKAHUNA. BTW e don tay wey u comment for this thread oh. Where u go na?
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op):
"u dey mad Man, so King Edward don turn to Soft drink abi, MOG no mind am oh, him follow us dey drink oh" I said and Man winked at Me. "i am not here to argue with u guys, i just came to inform u guys that a bus would be coming to Nekede to pick our Members to church tomorrow, the bus would be at Uzommiri bus stop by 7am tomorrow, u guys should try to catch up with the bus ok!" MOG narrated.


"Ok, i will be leaving, see u guys tomorrow in church, Brother Ugo i want to see u outside" MOG said. I almost Forgot Ugo was my name.


I thought it was the beginning of my doom. I thought it was Judgement Day. I was scared. "wetin him wan see me for na? abi na only me drink" I tot as i walked outside to meet MOG.


"Man of God, i am very sorry, pls forgive me, it is the devil that made me drink, i promise not to drink again, pls am am am am am sorry" i stammered.


"you shouldn't ask me for forgiveness, ask God for Forgiveness, He will forgive u, because He is a merciful God, Jesus died for our sins remember!" MOG preached. One thing i liked about MOG was that he was the perfect description of "pulpit on the move", he could preach the Gospel anywhere he found himself, even in a bar.


Talking of bar, while we were at Umunkoto, there was a night MOG came to our house bleeding seriously. He later told us he went to a bar to preach the Gospel and an angry guy at the bar smashed bottle on his head. He only told us the "part 2" of the story, without telling us the "part 1", because he never told us what warranted the guy to smash the bottle on his head. Maybe he was forcefully insisting the guy gave his life to Christ, just maybe.

The indelible mark of the injury he sustained was clearly visible in the right side of his head as a proof of his Love for Christ. MOG was the kind of pastor that could die for the Gospel's Sake.


"why i wanted to see you was because i wanted you to pls help me with 200naira" MOG said showing me his two fingers to illustrate 200naira, a sign he always used when begging for money. MOG was the kind of Pastor that whatever he wanted, he gets. Even if he wanted the World Bank as a birthday gift, he would simply ask his heavenly Father, and it would be granted.


At that moment, it was as if i saw Angel Gabriel standing beside MOG saying, "u better give him that money or..................". "i go give am oooh" i cried out.


"brother Ugo are u okay?" MOG queried. "am okay pastor, is just that i have 500naira with me, let me go make change from Nkiru's shop" i said. "don't worry, just give me the 500naira, the Lord knows why he provided u with 500naira note. He want to bless u greatly, because the blessing of 500naira is not the same as the blessing of 200naira" MOG explained.


I brought out my wallet reluctantly and removed 500naira from the 1000naira Bigie gave me earlier.


"mehhnn!! nawa for dis MOG oh, see as him don short me 500naira" i grumbled as i walked into the room, not knowing that the "500naira blessing" MOG talked about was waiting for me inside.
5 Likes
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 2:41pm On Mar 17, 2013
pillzthadrugz: FLOW.........show for dis background because nairalanders dey buga/dem say u're gone/FLOW1759 wen u go send gist cum dem ear/we don tey wey we dey wait, abi u disappear?/ even dou mtn stop to giv MB say dem no care/weda u get low battery we no wan hear!!!!!!! FLOW IS THE NL'S "OGA AT THE TOP"
i dey come, i go post, i just dey come back from church? Btw, i no wan post now, make my oga at the top com dey ask me why i post.
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op):
We got home in time to meet an opened bottle of Saint Remy. With music playing from our sound system, the room was sure in a party mood.

"Flow bring cup make we pour Saint Remy drink na" Brainbox said. I brought two cups and we joined the others drinking.

"make una see King Edward wey una go mix joint the Saint Remy oh" Tega the Celebrant offered two bottles of King Edward dry gin. "u wan kill person? How we go mix King Edward and Saint Remy" i almost said.

"ehen, Flow and Brainbox, dis na Opopo my Friend and dis na Lydia my babe" Tega introduced his friend and his "skinny" girlfriend. I simply shook hands with the both of them, Opopo's hand was bony while Lydia's hand was pure bone and no flesh, it was as if i was shaking the hand of a skeleton.

"guy see ur Cardinal boxers oh" Brainbox said offering Snoop the "customised" boxers. "how u take get the boxers?" Snoop asked after comfirming it was truely Cardinal. "why u wan know, as far as i don buy ur boxers, how i take buy am no be ur concern" Brainbox said.

"what of Pkc na?" I asked nobody in particular. "him don go church, him say him no go sleep here dis nite, because him wan dey church and prepare for service tommorow, u know say tommorow na Sunday" Man replied.

Tega and his friend Opopo were gisting with infusion of slangs. Snoop soon Joined the gist. And Lydia also. "so dis girl na Black B'ra girl!! nawa oh".

Black B'ra was the female cult that was affiliated to .

So it was only I and Man that weren't a members of anything "Black", and of course Baba Jay.

I wasn't good at drinking dry gin, so i stuck to drinking only Saint Remy. Though Saint Remy wasn't any better. Man was gulping the King Edward very fast, Baba Jay was faster, and Snoop was fastest.

We were drinking our third Bottle of Saint Remy when someone knocked at the Door, "come in" Snoop said after reducing the volume of the music playing. I initially tot it was Tupac and Bigie that were knocking, It wasn't them. It was MOG.

He came in, picked up an empty bottle of Saint Remy, stared at it for a while. The whole room was as quite as a graveyard. I tot MOG's next line of action would be to hite one of us on the head with he bottle he was holding, and crown his action "a fight for the gospel".

He did nothing of that nature. Instead he said, "so u people are drinking alcohol ehn". "why una no tell me say King Edward na Alcoholic drink na, una com let me follow una dey drink, i think say King Edward na soft drink oh" Man tried to cover up his Sin. But that was sure the most f'oolish way to go about it.
2 Likes 1 Share
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 5:29pm On Mar 16, 2013
fankasibe: Flow..... Thr ar some senseless adult here who will see nothing bad in cultism and kegaitism....warn them.
well, cultism is 100percent bad, because the day u join a cult, that day u have sold ur soul to the devil. But for Kagaitism, if u look it from the real sense of it, it is not bad, only that it has been bastardized. My cousin who is the chief of kegit in his sch told me the condition for becoming a kegit member was to become a member. U can imagine that.
1 Like
Health › Re: Coping With Mental Illness In Nigeria: A Beautiful Writer's Experience by flow1759: 5:15pm On Mar 16, 2013
wow! What a story. thanks for the story. U are right some people actually needs mental help without them knowing. Especially those that marry-juana a.k.a igboh
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 4:25pm On Mar 16, 2013
"oga Joe, i wan sew something oh" Brainbox said as we entered the shop of Oga Joe the Tailor. "wetin u wan sew?" Oga Joe inquired. "u go help me comot the label of dis boxers put for dis other boxers, u go try make u put am the same way wey e dey for dis one oh" Brainbox explained to Oga Joe how he was to swap both labels.

"u think say Snoop no go know?" i said. "unless u carry dis ur sharp amebo mouth tell am, na that time him go know" Brainbox said, "u dey mad, na ur family members get sharp mouth" i cursed.

As we waited for Oga Joe to finish sewing, all i was thinking was Florence, "that girl fine oh, but i go fit chyke her so? me wey no get money, shey na Kpokpon money i go use take care of her? The girl wey get money, na she get that boutique oh, abeg na high class girl jor" i thought.

Woe betide me if i made use of my kponkpon earnings to fort any lady's bill when i was barely feeding from hand to mouth. And morealso such "hard earned money" should be spent on oneself and not on a female, or so i tot.

I was still lost in my thoughts when the scary ringtone of my phone brought me back to reality. It was Tega.

He wanted us to come home immediately, that he was having a mini birthday party at home.

As we left Oga Joe's Shop walking home. i told Brainbox that we should board a bike so that we wouldn't miss the fun of the party. I was on a euphoria mood. I tot it was a normal birthday party, i never knew we were in for a dangerous drinking spree.
2 Likes
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 12:11pm On Mar 16, 2013
"i wan buy Perry cole boxers, how much?" Brainbox inquired as we entered a boutique. "why u wan buy Perry cole boxers na, na Cardinal boxers u suppose buy na" I whispered to Brainbox.


"Perry cole is 250, choose from any of these" An Angelic, Delectable, Ebony, Charming, Drop dead Gorgeous, Damsel said offering Brainbox several boxers.

Brainbox selected a boxers that looked almost like Snoop's Cardinal boxers. I couldn't help but admire the Beautiful Damsel as she sold the boxers to Brainbox. I forgot my mouth was ajar. She looked more like an angel sent from up above.


"Flow make we dey go na, i don buy finish" Brainbox said. Carried away by the beauty of the Damsel i was admiring, i totally forgot my name was Flow.

So i instantly changed my name to Flowey.

"who u dey call Flow, my name no be Flow, my name na Flowey, how many times i go tell u" I said to Brainbox. Brainbox was surprised at how i instantly changed my name.

"don't mind my friend, he is this naughty sometimes, my name is Flowey, i am half American and half Nigerian, what is ur name?" I said to the Damsel offering her my hands. She gave me a warm handshake and said, "ehnn My name is Florence".

"wow! What a coincidence, Flowey and Florence, what a picture perfect combination" I teased. "you own this place?" i asked taking a glimpse at the beautiful boutique, "yeah" Florence responded. "so can i come keep u company any time soon?" I inquired. "yeah, any time soon" Florence replied.

"Flow u wey never even go Abuja wey dey for dis Nigeria before, u com dey tell babe say u be half Nigeria, half America, why u sabi lie like dis? U even change ur name sef" Brainbox said as we walked out of Florence's boutique. "u no know say if woman thing don reach like dis, i go turn to Chief LIEnus? U no know say Flow no be like American name? Nahim make me change am to Flowey" I explained.

"where we dey go now?" i asked. "when we reach there, u go know" Brainbox sounded like MAN wey dey reason.
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 6:17am On Mar 16, 2013
Chicent: Flow dat na L101 oooo. As 4 brainbox na 2buy boxer 200 carry cardinal sticker sew am as label na.brainbox using his brain.flow kip flowing. Daysis
U get brain jor, u be really, MY OGA AT THE TOP.
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 1:55am On Mar 16, 2013
viewing this topic: kisscivic, joay0358.

Haba!! At this ungodly hour!! Una no dey sleep?
1 Like
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 1:45am On Mar 16, 2013
"wetin dey pursue you wey make u dey run enter compound like that?" Man asked as i ran into the compound huffing and puffing. "nothing oh, i just dey jog, i dey exercise my body" i replied with a fat lie.


The other guys came in few minutes later laughing at me beyond control, "Flow u get mind oh, see as u go press that babe nyash" Tupac said. "see as u go put that guy for wahala wey no concern am, but that two slap hot oh" Snoop added.

"ehen, Bigie where the 1k wey u say u go give me if i press the nyash?" i queried. "i dey come make i give u" Bigie said reaching for his wallet in the back pocket of his trousers. I tot he wanted to bring out just one wallet. He brought out five Wallets.

"chei! Bigie, wetin u carry all dis wallet dey do, u dey sell wallet?" i said. When Tupac glanced at the wallets, he smiled and said, "Bigie, so u thief all dis wallet from those guys wey dey drink with us for Ilya du Neked wire? Nawa for u oh, which day u go stop dis u pick pocket and looting, anywhere u enter, something must miss, y na?". Instantly, i deeped my right hand into my back pocket to confirm if my wallet was still there. It was there.

While we were chanting kegite songs and dancing, the "Notorious BIG" was busy picking pockets. Notorious BIG indeed, notorious for stealing. "dis thing wey u dey do no good oh, see how many wallet u thief, Five wallet, so all that time wey u dey do like say u dey dance, wey u dey come stand for back of people wey dey dance, na their wallet u dey collect?" Brainbox said.


Those guys were really insensitive and f'oolish, because i couldn't imagine someone taking my wallet without my noticing. Well, u wouldn't blame them, they were "under the influence" of alcohol.

The painful part of the whole thing was that Bigie wasn't even remorseful, he was smiling like he just hite Jackpot.

Well, i guess it was Jackpot to him, but for the five guys he stole their wallets, it would be like a horror movie to them. because it was certain some of them would work as bar attendants at Ilya du Neked wire that night, oweing to the fact that they wouldn't be able to fort the bill for the several litres of Holy water they drank, while some others would pay with their phones, that is if Bigie didn't steal phones also, "him even steal two phone sef" Tupac confirmed. Oh my world!! he stole phones also.


Aggreement was Aggreement, so i nevertheless collected my 1k from Bigie, afterall i worked hard to earn it.


"Flow u go follow me go buy that Cardinal boxers for Snoop" Brainbox said to me as we both sat under the Mango tree. "where u go see am buy?" i queried. "No worry na, na me be Brainbox na, i go use my brain" Brainbox replied.

"wetin u carry for nylon sef?" i asked Brainbox as we walked out of the compound. "No worry when we reach where we dey go, u go see am" Brainbox sounded like Man.

I wasn't really curious to know what was in the nylon bag, rather i was curious to know where we were going to. Or were we boarding the next available flight to USA to go ask Snoop dogg to give us his Cardinal Boxers? Only time could tell.
3 Likes
Gaming › Re: 'My Oga At The Top' Flash Game by flow1759: 12:16am On Mar 16, 2013
My oga at the TOPEST
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 3:58pm On Mar 15, 2013
kwangi: Send us the link to the guy's facebook account and the group's too.
So we can start from there!
mehn! Dis is too bad oh. Plagiarist stealing my talent. When i was thinking of writing more stories on nairaland? Mehn! The thing don weak me oh.
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 3:11pm On Mar 15, 2013
Rap maestro: Walahi, laff won kill me, but wait o my oga at top, u no hear say one id1ot dey copy paste our tory ehn? Evry writer don go on strike o
who be dat wey dey copy and paste, and who be my oga at top? Shey na dat be
new nairaland slang?
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 2:55pm On Mar 15, 2013
"police oh, one cloth u dey wear oh, police eeh, one cloth u dey wear eeh, everyday na one baret one cloth u dey wear eeeh, everyday na one baret one cloth u dey wear eeh. Police eeh, go Bayelsa eeh, Police ooh, go Bayelsa oh, if Port Harcout no favour u, go Bayelsa, if Port Harcout no Favour u, go Bayelsa eeh" We all sang dancing round a table in Ilya du Neked wire Joint. Mehn! Tupac was a good Dancer, a better holy water drinker and a best Vibrator.


His Brother from another mother; Bigie, didn't dance but sat smiling and watching us. We never knew he was up to mischief.


After i had taken 5litres of Holy water, i was saturated. I was in Cloud nine. I whispered to Brainbox for us to start leaving. He in turn informed others.


As we walked down the road, "Flow see that babe nyash oh! See as the nyash big" Brainbox said pointing at a lady. "omo mehn, the nyash na earthquake oh" Tupac added. The holy water i drank made me long-sighted, as i could see the big a'ss closer than any other person, it was as if the lady was walking in front of me, when she was a bit far from me. The holy water didn't only enhance my sight, it enhanced my thinking faculty. It communicated with me.

"Flow, go press that girl nyash" Holy water commanded. I instantly walked towards the lady like i was under a spell. "e be like say Flow wan go press the girl nyash oh" i heard Brainbox said from behind me. "Flow, u no fit abeg, if u press the girl nyash, come collect 1k for my hand" i heard Bigie said. I turned and gave Bigie a bright smile, "i don chop dat 1k today be dat oh" I thought.

Legend has it that Holy water has more Alcoholic content than beer, also that one 1litre of Holy water was approximately 1 jumbo wrap of weed. If we were to go by that account, that means i had taken 5 jumbo wraps of weed. When i couldn't even finish 4 wraps of weed on a normal day, unless of course i wanted a "direct ticket" to running mad.


I was gradually going nuts, because no normal guy could think of tapping a lady by her a'ss in an open street.


"waka fast before the babe go go na" Holy water told me, and i increase my pace.


As was getting close to her, i saw a guy on red shirt also walking towards her, "abi dis guy wan press her nyash sef?" i asked myself. "make u first dat guy press the girl nyash oh" Holy water said to me. I never knew Holy water was decieving me, the guy on red never had an intention of Tapping the lady's a'ss.


As i and the guy on red walked almost hand in hand behind the lady, i quickly f'ondled the lady's a'ss. "mission accomplished" i tot as i quickly returned my hands pretending i did nothing.


She turned back and yelled, "who did that?". "talk say na that guy do am" Holy water suggested. "is him" i said pointing at the guy on red. The next sound i heard was two hot slaps, not on my cheek, but on the bony cheek of the guy on red. The two "beautiful" slaps made the guy fell to the ground.


"mumu!! U no go run" Holy water suggested. I ran as fast as my legs could go, wishing the guy on red wouldn't recover from the beautiful slap soon.
16 Likes
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 12:00am On Mar 15, 2013
Wizee: My Broda dey use all dis una slangs 4hse,bt me tin say na cult boy. Even him record some self, diff beat for d background. But flow,shey u encourage pple to join dis kegite club?
yeah the club is full of fun, it is a social club that is recognised worldwide. Btw it helps promote our culture.
3 Likes
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 9:36pm On Mar 14, 2013
Nairalanders wey no be kegite, una no go fit understand that part. My apologies pls.
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op):
We arrived ilya du Neked wire on time, karid entities were so much "made in Fulani".


"Barnabas i know, Solomon, i know, who are wa?" a fair guy asked me as i was about seating down. "i am that kpokponti entity that was trans Egbu, trans Amadi, trans Ekulobia, trans Ekulu, trans ife nine, on that day D, time T, that day holy water was so much made in fulani, when i was librated from an animalee to an entity by my chiefo, chief Eze goes to School of Lake Nwebere, my baptizimal name is Ab Flow because i am so much jambraha" I vibrated. The fair guy "shine me his golden falangis" and i sat down.


As we continued drinking holy water, i said, "entities make una days be long oh, una know say na me be the only entity wey get uku I uku wey big like plantain?". They all laughed.


Uku in ibo means leg. I is an English alphabet. So uku I uku was a kegit slang for that thing that is in between a man's legs, that is like letter I (the d'ick).


The fair guy wanted to test how well i could understand vibration so he came close to me and asked, "Baba Daysis oh, if i say pigeon solidify enter my ohambele local government before i migrate nasarawaly here, wetin i mean?" "u think say i be small boy for kegit? U are trying to kowachiate that rice is the food that is in your stomach" i explained.
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Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 7:23pm On Mar 14, 2013
Josphine4good: it is a secret wink
i go tell my daddy, and i go tell my mummy, say u no wan give me kpomoh
Literature › Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759(op): 6:51pm On Mar 14, 2013
4kizo: Baba flow keske oshodicomprayon, dis is Ab 4kizo on my tentackle firing 2 unilag 2 walk nd stumble anota, kpokponki, ilya hama reminga my hauz, d godz,
Baba 4kizo u are so much jambraha, entity like amoir, walk minus stumble, may ur first son never resemble ur landlord. Daysis
Literature › Re: Even Heaven Agreed by flow1759: 6:45pm On Mar 14, 2013
[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]You guys aint encouraging ooo grin[/quote]u try abeg, if nobody say so, Flow say so.

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