₦airaland Forum

Rap maestro: igboh too much, u spell 'giant' 'gaint'

Rap maestro u be bad boy, see where ur eye go. U got me there. I don correct am sha.

if what i read in the frontpage is anything to go by, that means CHINUA ACHEBE is dead.

My role model is dead!

May the soul of the great Literature Giant rest in peace.

"Flow dis one wey ur face dey like dis, any wahala?" Snoop asked as we sat under the mango tree, "no problem oh, i just no dey happy" I replied.


"guy make we no dey let Bigie enter our room again, dat guy na big thief" I said with a frown. "shey him thief ur money?" Snoop inquired. "no oh, dem no born am well make him thief my money na" i lied.


"guy MAN U get match with Fulham today oh" Snoop informed, " ok, na which time the match be?" I asked, "e go soon start sef" Snoop replied.


"Man, u go follow us go watch MAN U match?" I asked Man as he came to join us.


"even if i no be MAN U fan, i go follow una go watch una match, so i go fit laugh una when una lose the match" Man said. "no wahala make we see weda Fulham go fit win us for our home" i said.


Just then, the talented pilferer, the skillful pick pocket and the world best robber came in. No other person than Bigie smalls.


"make una come make we go watch match, i go buy one bottle of beer for everybody if we win the match" Bigie said.


"you be thief, na the money wey u thief for my bag nahim u wan take buy us beer, thunder go fire u" i almost said


"B I G!!! U be correct man" Man hailed "where we go stay drink the beer na?" Brainbox asked an irrelevant question, "even if we go stay inside toilet drink am, that one no matter, my own be say i wan drink one big Udeme" I said and they all laughed.


When i said Udeme, i meant Guinness, a.k.a Big bros, a.k.a 1759. Udeme was coined out from a Guinness advert on Tv, an advert i would say was the best advert on Tv at that time. The starting line of the advert i would never forget, it read: "My friend Udeme is a great man, when he was a boy his teacher asked him where he would love working, up there!! he said". And the concluding line read: "at the end of the day friendly light would guide him home. And on a table of men, he would say; let the beer see the skies but not for too long".


"make una no worry we go drink for Riverside after the Match" Man said. "where be Riverside na?" i asked.

"when we reach there u go see am" Man answered his usual way.


I, Brainbox, Man, Bigie and Snoop set off to the football viewing centre. What we never knew was that a friend of ours would almost kick the bucket because of L102, or rather L105.


That friend of ours was Brainbox.

@chinedumo, are u alright? How many wrap of weed u take? Just tell me, i go understand, u know say me sef dey smoke? Shey na dried cow s*hit and dried paw paw leaf u smoke?

@johnwizey, i am not looking for a wife oh. Am just trying to let josphine know am not married.

chinedumo: abeg i no dey contest at all oh. You know say wetin u dey do dey bad. Na u use your mouth ecpose yourself. That is transparancy and honesty. No take wetin i talk to mean say i think i better pass u

wetin dey do this one? What on earth are u saying? You see me for ur dream?

Josphine4good: Flow are u married

Josphine my love! Am not married oh. Don't judge me by 'barack boy', judge me by 'ibo wey like yoruba' and 'man wey dey reason' because i would go back to do a part 2 to that 'barack boy' in other to paint a clearer picture of me.
Josphine dear, flow is in his late 20's oh.

chinedumo: do u think u can make him stop his womanising? In my opinon he is financialy reckless. No future investment. Lives for the moment. Etc

see as my fellow guy dey cast me because of woman. U can have her for all i care

We arrived the compound to meet a cheerful atmosphere.


Daniel and David were playing football, Haruna and his "Miss World" wife were watching over their wares against any Evil plan of L101 and L102, i suppose. Not knowing that the L101 and L102 thieves would always take them unaware.


As we stood close to the compound's gate gisting with Bigie, someone came in. That someone came in with an Ape.


What made me realized the "thing" Tupac came in with wasn't an Ape was when she said, "hello" to nobody in particular, "hi" Bigie responded.


As the name "Bigie" was to Stealing, so was the name "Tupac" to Womanizing.


He could go after anything on skirt, trouser, b'ombshot and even wrapper.


He could sleep with anyone carrying two "Oranges" in the chest. Whether the Oranges are Big or Small, ripe or unripe.


S'ex was the most valueable word in his dictionary. But not S'ex with an Ape na?


The lady, or rather the Ape Tupac came in with was very short. She was as dark as my grandmum's cooking pot, no "manchester", no "backassi".

To crown the whole thing up, she was practically limping.


"so naso Tupac dey carry anyhow woman?" i said to Bigie after Tupac left with his Ape, "no oh, him dey carry fine fine ones sef oh, him wan just thief the girl Kpomoh chop" Bigie replied with a smile.


Talking of "thiefing" Kpomoh, i hope the Kpomoh i kept in my bag haven't been "thiefed"? I just hope so.


As we walked to our room, i silently muttered a prayer to God that my 1500naira should still be in my bag.


The room was rather silent to our surprise.

We met "the kind" Pkc studying the Bible.


"Pkc where everybody na?" Brainbox asked, "i met only Baba jay at home when i came, he just left now, he went to buy drugs for his headache and body pains" Pkc replied.


"how him no go get headache and body pain, when Opopo don beat s'hit comot for him body" i thought with the left side of my brain.

While the right side of my brain told me to quickly confirm if my money was still in the bag.


I grabbed my bag to confirm. Lo and behold the money was gone. Bigie had done his worst.
He tore my bag open.

Maybe he was on a revenge mission for the 3k i stole, or rather, i found in my trouser pocket, just maybe.


But if you ask me i would say he stole the change left of his 3k.


Penny wise, Pounds f'oolish.


SCORES: Flow 1 - Bigie 1

Josphine4good: Flow are u married

u wan marry me?

Ladybianca: @flow,....drop urs so i can add u

add 1 to the name i introduced as my name to Florence in this story. I hope u decipher it.

"oga Benson give us Tea" Man ordered as we got to Oga Benson's shop. "how many tablet?" Oga Benson asked.


"Flow how many dose u want?" Man asked me. "na one dose oh, i never wan die, my time never reach" i confessed.

"Brainbox, you nkor?" He asked Brainbox, "na two dose i want" Brainbox answered.


"see Brainbox dey ask for two dose oh, abi him think say tramadol na paracetamol?" i tot.


I just hope he wouldn't regret asking for two dose. Well, all i had to do was to exercise patience for time to tell.


Man collected the money for one dose from me. So the 130naira i had left was reduced to 100naira.


"make we go barb our hair na" Man suggested, "make we go, my bear bear don grow well well sef" i said, "but which better barber go fit barb us wella?" Brainbox asked, "Ade na correct barber, him go fit barb us" Man replied. "who be Ade?" i asked Man.


"when we reach there, u go see am" i knew the answer before he answered.


Like a typical Yoruba guy, Ade was playing the song of his name sake Sunny Ade when we entered his barber's shop.

I wondered what would make a typical "O'femmanu" boy like Ade leave his O'femmanu land for greener pastures in the "Land of the Jews". I promised myself i would find out.


Ade was a tall dark guy. He was the perfect description of Handsome Hunk. He was very handsome, but something spoilt his handsomeness; his tribal marks.


He was the perfect description of, "i fight Lion, Lion com finger me for face".


Ade's barber's shop was beautiful, frankly speaking the most beautiful of all the barber's shop i had seen in a long while.


"Ade shebi to barb and shave na 150?" Man asked, "Yes na, una wan barb?" Ade asked a s'tupid question, "no we come to play ball for your barbing salon" i almost said.


"Brainbox abeg, na 100naira i hold here and i wan barb and shave, help me with 50naira make i add" I whispered to Brainbox as we sat waiting for our turn. "if i give u 50naira, u go pay me back 100naira, u aggree?" Brainbox said, "comot jor, u too like money, money wey mistake enter ur pocket don miss road be dat" i cursed.


I turned left and asked Man to help me with the 50naira. Onlike Brainbox, he gave me the money without thinking twice. That was why i so much loved "Man wey dey reason", he was selfless and not selfish.


After Ade finished giving us a nice hair cut and we paid, it instantly dawned on me that my Biscuit money was finished. What was suppose to be a "take home pay" couldn't even take me half way home.

Ladybianca: tears of laughter rolling dwn my cheeks......flow u re d best jor.....btw am an imsu babe, am in my finalz nw, thnk am a avn a crush on u........''or so i tot'' in flow's voice.....kip it up.

crush, crusher, chrushest. See true confession oh. Y don't u give me ur 2go username, lemme add u *or should i give u mine?* and lets get to know each other better. I love imsu babes, and i think i have a crush on you too, or so i tot.

temhab: I've missed a lot. More grease to your elbow Flowey

for all of una wey dey read my story and all of una wey dey comment, i thank una well well, my prayer for una be say:
may una first son never resemble una landlord at the top.

seuncyber: AS A WRITTER U MUST BE GOOD IN ALL WAYS,ACTION, JOKES, THRILLER, SUSPEND, ROMANCE, EDUCATIVE ETC,THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE FLOW.

KEEP THE GOOD WORK GOING WE LOVE AND WE LOVE YOUR WORK...

NICE STORY AND WRITTING

thank you so much. So much fun and laughter lies ahead, just keep ur fingers crossed.

"Soroagwa, i want Fufu and Okro soup, u go mix am small Egusi, u go com add am small vegetable soup" Man ordered for almost all the soups in the world, i was imagining how the mixture would look like.


"ehen Flow take dis 500naira, na ur biscuit money be dat" Man said offering me a worn out 500naira note. "Brainbox na your own be dis" He offered Brainbox his own 500naira.


"una know say Biscuit work na nonesense work, and person no dey use Biscuit work get better money, if person wan get better money the person go mix rice and Beans be that" Man said.


"how much you com collect?" the Brainy Brainbox asked "i collect 600naira, i give Old solja 120, u know say that Man try for us, him no tackle us like Madam Ifeoma dey do" Man said. Only God knows if he actually gave Old solja the money he said he gave him.


"guy my skin don spoil finish oh, see as my skin white" I complained. "u no dey rob that vaseline wey i keep for site?" Man inquired, "i dey rob am na" i replied. "no worry, naso e do me when i just start kponkpon, e go stop" Man assured.


Soroagwa brought the "concoction".

The concoction looked mouth watering to me, so i ordered, "Soroagwa bring the same thing for me", "na 300naira for a plate if u want the mixture oh" Soroagwa said. "no wahala bring am like that, add am one bottle of Coke join" I ordered without thinking.


If my tongue could speak, it would have attested to the fact that the concoction was delicious, but my prayer was that the concoction should seat confortably in my stomach.


Legend has it that the first day one eats a food that his/her system isn't used to, there is a 60% chances that he/she would throw up.


As i continued eating, i wished that i wouldn't throw up in the near future. Just a wish, and like the saying goes: "if wishes were horses, beggers will ride".


After the concoction meal, i paid, and i was given a change of 130naira which was the only money left with me.


Well, it was the Only money left with me because earlier that morning, i had hide all the money with me in my bag, leaving home with only 250naira; of which i used to pay after eating at Mama Calabar's canteen. I was advised by the Brainy Brainbox to do so, his words: "Flow, since we dey go work and we go get money, no need to carry money go, if u carry money go site, u go spend am, and person need to dey save oh"


Though i locked my bag with a padlock, but my prayer was that the Notorious BIG shouldn't pay our room a visit. A visit to steal.

Or else i would be doomed.

morley411: Guy U̶̲̥̅̊ must continue dis story Oº°˚˚˚˚°ºo. It keeps me going

morley my manest man, i see you ma nigga

Monday came with the thought of kpokponity.


"guy, shebi una know say all of una for that house na Graduate, na only me still dey look for Admission, that one no mean say all of una senior me oh, i be old man oh, i don write JAMB five times, this one wey i wan write dis year go make am six" Man narrated as we walked to the site after eating at Mama Calabar canteen.


"e no mean anything na, no worry you go get am this year" Brainbox sympatized with Man.


"you be Olodo be that na, no worry na until JAMB give u award na that time you go know, if na kponkpon Exam dem dey write u go pass am" i dared not say that.

I could still feel the unending burning sensation in my neck as a result of the "hot water bath" Kate gave us.


We arrived a bit late at the site that morning.


"Old solja good morning" We chorused. "ehen, unu good morning" Old solja replied.


"Madam Ifeoma don come, she talk say today unu go mould block, say as the casting don finish make unu mould block wey unu go use start the body of the work" Old solja narrated, "Old solja she give u money abi?" the money concious Igbakwambo asked.


"yes na, she give me money make i pay unu after work, she say she dey go somewhere nahim make she say make i come watch unu as unu go work today" Old Solja replied. "but Old solja how much be the price to chop one biscuit na?" Man asked.


"na 20naira for one biscuit na, na the normal price wey dem dey pay everywhere na" Old solja replied.


"Chop biscuit" was the code name for moulding building blocks. So the amount of biscuit you "chop" would determine how much you would smile home with.


Work started.
Since I and Brainbox were inexperience in "choping Biscuit" we teamed up with Man our "Master". While Igbakwambo and Ochagbuorie made a deadly team.


I and Brianbox were mixing the cement and sand with our shovel and pouring it for Man who was moulding and offloading the blocks.


After about 1hour of hard labour, the half time Scores was: Team Man 51blocks - Team Igbakwanbo 62blocks. How on earth can Igbakwambo and Ochagbuorie be stronger than three able bodied men? Unless of course they drank overdose of Tea before coming to work.


Just when i said we needed to increase our speed, Old solja glanced at I and Brainbox as we were practically fighting with our shovel, then he said, "Flowa and Brain make unu mix the cement and sand well well oh".


"Old Solja our name na Flow and Brainbox, no be Flowa and Brain" i corrected.


At the end of the day, Team Igbakwambo won with 105blocks, while Team Man moulded 86 blocks only.


Rice and Beans was sure more Lucrative than Biscuit, or so i thought.

Mixing Rice and Beans was sure more hectic than Choping Biscuit, or so i thought.


After the "Biscuit choping", it was time to eat, not to eat Biscuit but to swallow Fufu.


When such urge beckons, the thought of Soroagwa came to mind.


The problem that lies ahead was how to share the Biscuit money.

make una help me ask mayor46 wetin him dey talk oh?

4kizo: Omg! My ribs is hurting me

every time ur ribs dey hurt, make e no break oh

We found nowhere convinient enough to seat and munch our meat but the Backyard.


We sat beside Kate's window. We brought out the meat, held it on our hands and was about to start eating it when i heard, "aaaaaah! Aaaaah!! U are almost there!! Harder!! Harder!! Aaaaaah" Kate was moaning noisily. Initially i thought it was from the Tv, maybe she was watching a B'lue f'ilm.


It was a B'lue f'ilm of course, a B'lue f'ilm with Kate acting the "lead role" and a pot bellied Man acting the "supporting role", while I and Brainbox were acting the role of "Waka pass".


The pot bellied Man was trying hard to satisfy Kate, all to no avail.

The Pot bellied Man that was old enough to be Kate's Dad was on top while Kate was below. Seeing Kate's succulent b'reast made my "Johnny bravo" stood at attention.


"harder!! Harder!! Harder!!" Kate the "Commander in Chief of bedmatics" commanded.


"Kate go kill person papa oh" i tot. From the corner of my eyes, i saw that Branbox was keenly watching the sex scene as if he was watching a movie in the Cinema.


We had practically forgotten we were holding meat in our hands.


"harder!! Harder!! Harder!!" the Commander in Chief commanded again. As i heard the word "harder" this time, my d'ick stood harder as if i was the one f''ucking her.


"harder!! Harder!! Harder!! Harder!!" the Commander in Chief commanded yet again pissing me off, because i couldn't imagine a lady Commanding me to give it to her "harder". I would simply give it to her "hardest".


"harder!! Harder!!" Commander Kate commanded even yet again, this time i couldn't help but said, "give the babe harder na" in a low voice.


I instantly felt like chewing back my words, but it had already flew to Kate's hearing. They already heard what i said.


There was instant silence both on their part and on our part. I tot we were safe. I was wrong, we weren't safe.


Kate stood up, removed the boiling ring from the bucket of water she left boiling.


"dis one wan go baf, dem don wayah her finish, she wan go baf hot water" so i tot.

And, "poooooaaaaaah!!" she poured the content of the bucket on us.


The water wasn't just hot, it was piping hot.


"chineke moh!! I don die oh!! Yeeeeeeh!!" I and Brainbox shouted and fled.

Meat wey we thief, we no even chop am sef.

"make una bring water na" Man shouted fidgety. His shouting didn't move me an inch, i just concentrated on getting more meat than Brainbox.


After the meat "challenge", this was the scores: Flow 3- Brainbox 5. I wasn't happy Brainbox got more meat than me.


Like the cliche goes, "like minds, reason alike". I and Brainbox were wise enough not to eat any of the meat, instead we kept them all in our pockets, in other not to arose suspicions.


Water was sprinkled on Baba jay, and he returned to the land of the living coughing.


We all sighed with relief that our most precious Baba jay had "resurected".


It was time to continue eating the delicious "Ofe Ogbono".


"i dey come make i go piss" Brainbox excused himself, "me sef wan go piss" i said instantly before i would turn out to be the scape goat.


Brainbox dashed out of the room with the speed of light, i followed. We both ran as if we were in a 100metre race. "thief!! Thief!! Catch them!! Ole!! Ndi oshi!!" were the voices i heard shouting from inside.


What we never knew was that a tragedy awaited us outside.

"Flow, shey u see any money inside the pocket of that your trouser wey i return?" Bigie asked me as i was seating under the mango tree after returning from church. "i no see money oh" i lied.


It was meal time.
"Flow food don ready oh" Baba jay informed.


The ravenous Baba jay was paired with Snoop. While i paired with another revenous creature, Brainbox.


The food was Ogbono soup and Eba. The "elasticity" of the Ogbono soup was Superb. The taste was amazing.


"guy them no dey rush hot Ogbono soup oh" i cautioned, "e concern you" Brainbox replied.


We were all enjoying the delicious meal until, "pupurupu pupoooo" Baba jay let out a thundering fart.

Tega's friend Opopo unaware that we had a Guiness book of record holder for best fart said, "that person wey mess no get sense, him no know say we dey eat". That statement brought out the vampire in Baba jay.


"you dey Mad, na me u dey curse, i go chawus you oh" Baba jay said giving Opopo a hard punch to the chest. First attack!!

Chawus was a Barrack slang or rather a military slang that could be interpreted to mean "serious beating" in English or "chop jollof rice" in Baggar's slang.

Baba jay was a Barrack boy like me. But the toughness and doggedness of Barrack boys could not be found in him. Maybe northern Barrack boys wasn't as tough as western Barrack boys, just Maybe.


Opopo replied Baba jay with a "Mohammed Ali" kind of punch to his cheek, causing chaos in the room. "dis guy think say na boxing ring we dey, that kin punch fit kill person oh" i tot. Before Baba jay could recover, Opopo sent another punch to Baba jay's nose. I saw Blood dripped out of his nose instanta.


"Opopo leave am na!! E don do!! U go kill am oh!!" was the noise clouding the room, that wasn't only what clouded the room, the "fragnance" of Baba jay's fart also clouded the room. Man tried to hold Opopo, yet Opopo let out another punch to Baba jay's bleeding nose. SCORES: 3-1 (full time)


Knock Out!!!


Baba jay fell to the ground. I thought he was dead because he wasn't moving. There was commotion in the room. Tega's girlfriend Lydia was already crying as if we were at Baba jay's funeral.


"give him mouth to mouth resuscitation" Lydia suggested. "make i kiss Baba jay, i dey mad? Baba jay wey no dey brush teeth, e better make i go kiss toilet wey s'hit dey than make i kiss Baba jay" i said. "Flow we no dey play here, Baba Jay go soon die oh, who go put him mouth for Baba jay mouth na" Tega said with an uneven panic. "make una bring water!!" Man ordered.


At that moment, my mind strayed away from the "Baba jay commotion" to the mighty pieces of meat staring at me from the various plates of soup.


Like they say; "like minds, reason alike". It was as if Brainbox had intention of grabbing some of the pieces of meat.


Brainbox eyeballed me, i eyeballed him back. He eyeballed me, i eyeballed him back.


And all of a sudden we jolted to the plates of soup at the same time, struggling roughly like two Rugby players.

valboy20: lwtmb...d money don fall....omo no b small fin o...lol

no be small thing i tell u Btw if na u, wetin u go do?

johnwizey: haaaa,yawa don burst

if na u wetin u go do?

"and Peter was Walking on water, when Peter started loosing faith, he started sinking" the preacher was preaching.


It reminded me of the rugged days of my schooling. It reminded me of the Baggar's Anthem.


Oh sons of Odin!!
Sail on Aro.
Sail on, as Captains of every ship.
Be it river, be it ocean. With your canoe, or with your ship.
If the Water be tempest, Sail on Aro.
If your ship fail to sail, Like Peter, Aro walk on water.
And you will not sink until you get to iceland.
Wosky brothers sail on, no Matter the turbulence,
Sail on Aro.

That was our Anthem. It wasn't the anthem of Baggars Nationwide, rather it was the anthem of baggars in my sch, composed by a member.

The name of that member was Rugged Aro Flow.

Yes, i composed it, read it out to my fraternal brothers and they loved it, so they accepted for it to be read at gatherings.


"Offering time!!" Pkc said from the pulpit, "Blessing time" the congregation responded. That was Pkc's department. He was the Pastor in charge of offering collection.


"Flow u get change?" Man whispered to me, "how much change?" i inquired. "na 50naira i get, and u know say na two offering them dey give, i wan change the 50naira so i go give 20naira for the first offering, and 30naira for the second offering" Man informed. "u no dey fear God oh, upon all the things wey God dey do for u, na 20naira u wan take thank am" I said.


"forget that thing, no be wetin person get him go give?" Man said. "God wey provide Kponkpon Job for u, na 20naira u wan give am, no let God vex for u oh" I cautioned.


Our church was the kind of church you would see people giving 1000naira as offering, not even workers, but university students. Not to talk of those that were workers. There was a sunday, i saw a guy seating by my side bringing out 3000naira as offering. 3000naira that could feed me for a week.


As we danced to where the offering basket was, i clinged to my offering with all the muscles in my palm so nobody could see the "handsome" amount i was giving. I couldn't tell the kind of devil that made me lose grip of my offering when i was about dropping it in the offering basket. Maybe i was carried away by the nice song the choir sang, just Maybe


And the 100naira i held as offering fell to the ground for everyone to see including Gabriella.

valboy20: flow...u no wan make d shawty knw say na brushin(wet soul) u do ur jean...omg! U knw even brush ya teeth..bro u d perfect description of farcical...lmao

no mind me, i no know wetin make me forget to brush that day oh.

"will you be singing in church today?" i asked what seemed like a f'oolish question. "yeah!" Gabriella replied looking away.


Why she looked away was what i couldn't tell. Oh my world!! She looked away because i had bad breathe. "mehn! I no brush my teeth dis morning oh, how i go forget to brush my teeth na" i almost said.


Due to the bad breathe i had, i didn't say a word to Gabriella althrough the rest of the journey.


We arrived Dominion City Church Owerri at about 8am. Church service had just kicked off. I was staring at Gabriella althrough the praise and worship section. In my mind i was painting a picture of me playing cupid with her. "Flow if u marry this kin girl, na to dey padlock her T'oto oh, because many men go wan sleep with her" i tot.


Talking of padlocking "T'oto", it reminded me of a guy called "Superglue T'oto". When i was in sch, this guy called Uche in my hostel was asking a very pretty lady out. The lady gave Uche a tough time making him lavished his money on her.


After a year, Uche couldn't even get to see the "Honey well" in between the lady's legs, not to talk of tasting it.

So one night, Uche took the lady out and got her drunk, he brought her home and slept with her.

After sleeping with her, he applied Superglue to her "T'oto" while she was sleeping. To cut the long story short, Uche ran to his village early the next morning leaving the lady in his room. The lady was rushed to the hospital after she was found in Uche's room crying in pains.

Uche came back to the hostel two weeks later thinking the case might have died down, not knowing the Police was in search of him.

The police got him after 2days. He was locked up. But because his parents were wealthy, they bailed him out and cleared the medical bills of the Lady.

When we asked Uche why he did such devilish act, he simply said; "since e hard for me to enter that place, as i finally enter nobody go enter that place again, that na why i superglue the place".


Since then, his name changed from Uche to Superglue T'oto.

HotNaijaBabe: Keep flowing, flowey baba..I loveeeeeee u...

no let yoyo the first catch you oh

4kizo: Everybdy tinks am crazy cos i laf alone

because u have inhaled laughing gas.

ebamma: feed me more

ebamma shey na me be ur mama wey i go feed u?
*Just kiding*

"Baba jay, so na u wear my trouser wey i dey find, u don kolo oh" I cursed as we stood at the bus stop waiting for other members. "you dey mad, you fit tell ur elder brother say him don Kolo?" Baba jay said and the other guys laughed. "i no get elder brother, even if i get, my elder brother no fit be like u" i said.


True talk! No one would pray to have an elder brother like Baba jay. I aggree, we were all poor boys, but Baba jay was as poor as a church rat. He couldn't boast of owning any property in the house. The best word to describe him was "Parasite". He lived at the mercies of others. He had finished from FUTO since last year, but he had not paid his school fees from 200level to final year, so he came to stay in Nekede waiting for mannar to fall from above. If i were him, i wouldn't have turned down the offer made by Man to join the Kponkpon "business". You never can tell, he could have gradually saved up the money for his fees.


"Bus wan move oh, make una come enter oh" Brainbox said. The number of people to board the bus was much, it was as if the bus wouldn't contain us all, or so i thought.


I was trying my best to enter so i wouldn't be left behind but the F'at a'ss girl in front of me hindered me with her a'ss.

Alas! I was the last to enter but there was still a seat left, for an angel of God to seat on and watch over us as we journeyed.


Yes, an angel came to occupy the seat, not an angel of God but an angel in Human flesh.


The name of that angel wasn't Angel Gabriel but Angel Gabriella. The beautiful Grabriella.


Saying Gabriella was the most beautiful choir member was an understatement, she was the most beautiful girl in the church. She wasn't only beautiful facially, her voice was also beautiful because whenever she leads praise and worship, she brings Heaven down with her sonorous voice.


"good morning all" she greeted taking her seat by my side.

Mehn! She was more beautiful than i thought as i could see her well arranged set of teeth as she smiled. If there was one lady i had a huge crush on in church, that lady was Gabriella. I had a crush on her but i had never spoken a word to her since i started attending that church.


"u are looking good" i spoke to her for the first time. "thank u" she replied.


As the bus moved, i quickly remembered i was wearing a Wet soul designers trouser, so i adjusted a bit for Gabriella not to feel the Wetness of my Wet soul.