₦airaland Forum

Josphine4good: Flow don't worry I will reward u for making my day, nice work

Whats the reward?

001solar: Ur first trend na sex and woman, Dis one na waitin we go call am now !!! Flow i dey gbadun u jo make u dey flow dey go

call am nite of a thousand laugh, with FLOW

It was time to eat. Too bad, i was paired with the ravenous Baba jay.

"have u finished preparing the paw paw?" Pkc asked me. "yes, but i want make we eat this rice finish before we go chop the P-square" i responded. "bring it like that, lets eat it together with the rice" Pkc ordered.

Pkc had a bad eating habit. His combination of food was deadly. When we were at Umunkoto, there was a day he came to our house with mangoes and he met us cooking beans. That day we ate the mangoes together with beans. He even bragged about eating Kuli Kuli together with bread. And now rice and paw paw? Oh my world!!

With a slice of Paw paw each in our hands, we ate the "not too delicious" rice Snoop cooked, the Paw paw made it very delicious. Bigie and Tupac came in and joined us.
I was determined to try to meet up with the great speed Baba jay was eating. The ratio was 2:1 spoon, not too bad.


After meal, "Flow make we go Ilya du Neked wire go drink Pammy use wash dis food down na" Brainbox suggested as I, Brainbox, Man, Snoop, Tupac and Bigie sat under the mango tree outside.


Ilya du Neked wire was the joint where kegite members like I and Brainbox met to "vibrate" and drink "Holy water". Vibrate was a Kegite terminology that meant Converse in English and Yan in pidgin English. Holy water was a kegite terminology that meant Palm wine in English and Pammy in pidgin English. I loved the Kegite club so much, not only because it was a worldwide club, but because they don't maim fellow human beings like the secret cults and fraternities, that was why i joined the club. Not only that, i joined the club because of the slangs they used in conversing(vibrating). I and Brainbox were regular customers at Ilya du Neked wire joint when we were at Umunkoto. The joint was located close to Poly Nekede.


"Snoop are u a kariabity? Who are wa?" I asked Snoop. "i am that kpokpoti entity that was librated from an animalee to an entity, that day D, time T, entities were made in fulani nassarawaly, when my chiefo of Ilya du Lake Nwebere baptized me and called me AB Snoop" Snoop introduced himself in Kegite slang. "why i no com know u na, i be entity from Ilya du Lake Nwebere sef, abi u no dey come meeting?" i queried. "i no dey too come oh" Snoop confessed. "Ab Snoop, shine me ur golden falangis" I said to Snoop and we shook hands in a Kegite style.


"i no understand this Chinese wey una dey speak here oh" Man complained. "na because u no be Kegite na, ur own department na rice and beans department na" I said.


An hour later, I, Snoop, Brainbox, Tupac and Bigie were off to Ilya du Neked wire "nasarawaly" not knowing the amount of "kariabilities" we would meet there.

dayleke: Flow how u come know say BB(Brainbox) go do L101for dia na?

because i know the guy say him like that kin thing

"guy, i don do one bad thing now now oh" Brainbox said to me as he came to meet me in the well where i was fetching more water. "wetin be d bad thing wey u do?" i inquired. "after i don do L101 for the Tin tomatoes, i wan come buy the kerosene because i no say i no go fit do L101 for the kerosene" Brainbox began.

"ehen, wetin com happen?" i inquired. "naso i com tell Nkiru say i wan buy half bottle of Kerosene oh, se com say funnel wey she go use pour am for my container no dey there, naso she com enter inside house say she wan go bring the funnel oh" Brainbox added. "ehen, continue" i said. "shebi u know say our kerosene container dey black, and person no go know weda something dey inside if person look am?" Brainbox said. "i know na" i responded. "as she go inside go bring the funnel, naso i com quick quick pour one bottle of kerosene inside our container" Brainbox added. "as i see say she go notice say i don thief one bottle of kerosene naso i com burst two pure water com pour am inside that bottle wey i empty" Brainbox explained.

"as she come, she com still sell my half bottle for me, everything com be one and half" Brainbox added. "Brainbox!! U be original thief oh, i pity the person wey go buy that bottle wey u full with water oh" i said. "the person stove go just blow like bomb" Brainbox said and we both laughed loudly.

"Man, we no go go mix rice and beans today?" i asked Man the next morning. "today na saturday na, no work on Saturday, Madam Ifeoma say na Saturday she dey wash her children cloth and do other house work, so she say we no go dey come work on saturday" Man explained.

Wash plate: Tega
Fetch water: Flow
Sweep house: Man
Cook: Snoop
and Baba jay is to sleep on the floor tonight, Pkc read out people responsible for the various domestic chores for that day.

As i was in the well fetching water, "good morning" someone said from behind. I turned and saw Kate. "good afternoon, sorry good morning" i responded. I couldn't concentrate on the water i was fetching, pouring water all over my legs, i was staring at Kate's fresh laps, she was wearing a bombshot. "so how are u recovering from ur chicken pox?" Kate asked. "fine, am getting better" i responded.

"see that P-square don ripe, make we pluck am na, who go climb?" Man said as we sat under the tree. "i go climb" i volunteered. I climbed the paw paw tree and pluck two ripe paw paw.

"Tin tomatoes and kerosene no dey oh" Snoop said from the kitchen, "Brainbox leave Flow make him dey arrange the paw paw, go buy the kerosene and Tin tomatoes" Baba jay said. "where money na?" Brainbox asked. "take, make sure u bring my change oh" Pkc said offering him 500naira note. I was very sure Brainbox would be involved in L101 for the tin tomatoes, but how he was to do L101 for the Kerosene was what i couldn't tell. But since his name was Brainbox, i was sure he would definately use his brain.

Gepheral: Wow,,, nice works flow... The tempo of yhur update has improved... Thanks

Thanks General Gepheral

"who wear my Cardinal boxers!! which of una wear my Cardinal boxers?" Snoop queried as we entered the house. "Flow na u?" Snoop asked me. "how i go wear another person boxers, i be dirty boy?" i answered a question with a question. "na me wear am oh" Brainbox confessed.


"you dey mad oh, that boxers wey dem send from Yanky come for me nahim u go wear, u no dey fear me?" Snoop said. "who u be wey i go fear you?" Brainbox said gazing straight at Snoop's Eyes. Snoop came closer to Brainbox and pushed him backwards saying; "u wan fight me abi". "who u be? i go just beat you one time" Brainbox said. I was sure Brainbox would beat Snoop flawlessly in a fight, because Brainbox was a Kponkpon "practitioner" while Snoop was not.


"oboy dis boys wan fight oh, make we go seperate them na" i told Baba jay. As i stood up to seperate the fight, Brainbox let out a punch that was suppose to be meant for Snoop but it went straight to my left eyes. "aaaaaaah! My eye, aaaaah!! na because i wan seperate una nahim make u blow me for eye" i cried out. Just then, Pkc walked in, it was as if an angel just walked in.


"what is happening here?" Pkc asked, "is dis dirty boy oh, he wore my boxers to go do Kponkpon work" Snoop complained. "why did u do dat na?" Pkc asked Brainbox. "i think say na my own oh, i no see am well" Brainbox responded. "na lie abeg, u see am well, u like to dey spoil people things" i said.


"Pkc wetin i want be say him must buy another Cardinal boxers for me" Snoop stated. "he will buy it, but what if he buys another make of boxers for you?" Pkc asked Snoop, "i will not accept any make other than Cardinal, because that is the boxers my role model Snoop dogg wears, and morealso i have only one of it" Snoop said. "ok i go buy the Cardinal boxers for you tommorow" Brainbox said. "how u go take buy am, u no hear say him say na from Yanky dem send am come for am? Abi u wan go Yanky go collect am from Snoop Dogg?" I told Brainbox. "Flow no worry, no be Cardinal boxers him want? I go buy am for am" Brainbox assured.


I was surprised the way he said that confidently, not knowing he had something up his sleeve.


Just then, Tega arrived, he came with some goodies for his hommies.

wizboi26: flow i no dat papa dat u are talking about. His house is at umuerim near transformer at red gate in nekede. Dat papa is a government approved igboh seller, he even smoke it while driving his old mercedies benz. My lodge was very close to his house when i was in skul den. They hardly arrest him. Shebi d papa dey slim?flow na dat one u dey talk?

you are right, e get one corner wey dey close to him house, na for that corner men dey stay weed that time.

"Soroagwa give me Akpu and Ofe Oha, u go put three meat oh" Man ordered as we got to Soroagwa canteen. "wetin i go give u?" Soroagwa was asking me. I wasn't listening, i was busy staring at my u'gly skin, "see me wey i be fine yellow boy before, see as cement don spoil my skin, wetin i go do dis my skin now" i tot.

"Bros wetin i go give u na?" Soroagwa asked again, "ehen, give me the same thing wey u give my guy but my own go be two meat oh" i responded. "what of u nkor?" he asked Brainbox. "me i want the same thing but u no go put meat" Brainbox responded. "but Brainbox, why u no want meat na?" Man inquired. "u no know say doctor say make i no dey chop meat?" Brainbox responded. "u dey lie abeg, u dey chop meat well well, u no wan just spend ur money, how much be meat na?" i said. "Brainbox!! Brainbox!!" i cheered. "Brainbox enjoy ur money oh, dead body no dey enjoy oh, na only people wey dey alive dey enjoh oh" Man added.

Brainbox was a very stingy guy. When we were in Umunkoto, he would tell me he had no money on him, and that he had not eaten since morning, he would even ask me to give him some money for him to go eat, with the way he begged for money, they was no way i would not have given him. After giving him the money, the next moment i would see him drinking beer at a bar. "abi person fit drink beer for empty belle?".

As we ate the food, i continued staring at the patches of dried cement on my skin. Then, someone came in. Kate. The adorable Kate.

"pls i want to buy Food" She said bringing out her food flask. On seeing her, i left my mouth ajar, with a ball of Akpu in it. She turned to our direction and i quickly swallowed the ball of Akpu. "hello!" she said, "hi!" i was the only one that responded to her greeting, others were carried away by the delicious Ofe Oha. "ehen whats that ur name?" she asked looking at my direction. My brain instantly failed me. I instantly caught Amnesia. "wetin make u wan know my name na" i almost said. "ehnnn my name is ehnnnn Just call me Flow" I stammered. "OK Flow, what are all these whitish things on ur body, are u well at all?" she asked. "ehnn i am not well, i have chicken pox" I lied. At that moment i had Brainbox and Man giggled, "una dey mad there, na only my body be like dis?" i cursed within. "ayah!! Get well soon ok" Kate said and walked out.

"abeg i no dey hungry again, make we dey go house" i said as i sat down to continue eating. "mumu!! na because of u fall ur hand for Kate, nahim make u no dey hungry again" Man said, "no i don belle full" i responded. "but before we go, we go enter Oga Benson side go buy Tea" Man added.

"that Kate thing don pass and u still dey laf" i said to Brainbox as we walked home. He continued laughing. What he never knew was that a fight was waiting for him at home.

Work started earlier that morning.


"Brainbox how come u dey three bags and i still dey two bags na?" i inquired. "wetin u call me, no be Brainbox? Ehnn i use my brain dey work na. U dey use power, me i dey use brain nahim make" Brainbox responded. "Flow come with me to carry more bags of cement from the Cement store" Madam Ifeoma ordered.

As i walked behind her, i continously gazed at her Television shaped Ikebe, making my d'ick to rise. My d'ick bulged out of my working trouser forming a mountainous culve.

We got there, she entered the store and showed me the bags of cement i was to carry. I carried it. My d'ick was still as hard as a rock, it seemed she saw my standing d'ick so she said, "what is this?" pointing to the direction of my d'ick. "na my Chiarman, the thing no dey respect himself, na wetin my Papa give me, shebi u sef get wetin ur Mama give u for ur back?" i almost said.

She wasn't actually pointing at my d'ick, she was pointing to a bag of cement that has torn and the cement was pouring out. I told her i would come back to carry that particular bag for us to make us of its content.

I moved close to the door and Madam Ifeoma was still standing at the door with her "big nyash" facing me, she couldn't even hear the "excuse me" i was saying. "abi dis woman want make i use my p'rick nak her nyash? My p'rick go break be that oh" i tot. "Excuse me!" i yelled, oweing to the fact that the cement on my head was almost breaking my neck bone. She finally gave way.

As i finished carrying 12bags of cement from the store to the site my neck failed me, i was walking like a robot, "so una go dey here dey work, i go go carry cement wey una go take work abi? Na Ojoro oh" i almost said.

Work ended by 5pm, i mixed four bags of rice and beans, Brainbox mixed Six, Igbakwambo and Ochagbuoria mixed countless bags.

"oboy i dey hungry oh" I said. "i go carry una go Soroagwa place go chop Akpu and Ofe Oha" Man said. "who be Soroagwa na?" Brainbox inquired. "no worry when we reach there u go see am" Man answered(his usually way).

Man had a place to satisfy every of his urge, ranging from; Obele place to Paapa place to Mama Calabar place and Now to Soroagwa place, who knows where next, maybe Heaven place?

The only thing i could tell was that Soroagwa in Ibo means "follow this attitude". If only time could speak, it could have told me what lies ahead at Soroagwa Canteen.

alfablondy: I am endorsing another great work from flow1759 for front page


https://www.nairaland.com/1217099/man-wey-dey-reason

howdy cuddlemii? Pls take a look at this my rib cracking story. And pls endorse it for frontpage.

Next morning, as early as 8am man woke me up. And he told me we should start preparing for work. I woke Brainbox also. The others were still sleeping.


"we no go chop before we go?" Brainbox asked. "no worry we go chop vegetable soup for Mama Calabar place" Man responded. "who be Mama calabar?" Brainbox asked. "when we reach there u go see her" Man answered(his usual way of answering such question).


Why i so much liked Mama Calabar canteen was because the place was neat. Not only that, because that was the canteen most kponkpon workers ate their breakfast. "mehn! Calabar women sabi cook oh, i must marry Calabar woman oh" i concluded as i munched my kingsize meat.


Mama Calabar canteen wasn't far from our "place of work", so we walked down gulping our sachet water, like the ghetto boys we were.


"e get one old man wey i want make we go see, him name na Old solja, nahim be security man for dis site for night, na him hand key to where dem dey put cement dey dey, but as him no dey around dat yesterday him give me the key day before yesterday make i hold am, but him call me dis morning say him don come back, so make we go greet am because that man dey help me well well, na him house i dey go drink water sometimes sef, him house no far from here" Man explained.


"Old Solja good morning" we chorused as we got to the shanty house. "unu morning" he responded. "unu come to work?" Old Solja asked, "yes Sir" Man answered. "unu Madam never come?" he asked again, "yes sir, she never come, so we say make we come greet you na" Man responded. "unu don try as unu come, make unu sidon na" Old Solja said offering us seat. I wondered why he replaced "una" with "unu". Infact i lost count of how many times he mentioned the word "unu" for the five minutes we stood in front of his house. The "unu" was becoming a rhyme. "no Old Solja, no worry we go soon go sef, our Madam go soon come, this na my two friends, this one name na Flow, dis one name na Brainbox, i come show dem to you" Man added.


"ok unu don dey go?" Old solja asked, "we don dey go sir" our spokesMAN responded. "únú n'gbàmbo" Old solja mentioned the word "unu" again but this time in Ibo.

kwangi: Mr Flow! Nice one... But, you're really slow these days O.
It's kinda dulling.

i have changed my ways. I will do my best. Btw don't u guys think its high time we hit the front page? Somebody should pls suggest it to cuddlemii with the link. Thanks

"Baba Jay who buy dis Bread and Akara wey una dey chop?" Snoop asked as we got home. "na Brainbox oh" Baba jay responded. Man looked at the direction of Brainbox and said, "Brainbox why u wear my trouser na?". "No vex i go soon pull am" Brainbox responded.
Brainbox loved spoiling other peoples things and saving his own, i hated him for that because he had spoilt so many of my things when we were at Umunkoto.


"MOG is Pkc not coming back tonight?" Snoop asked. "Yes oh, he will be sleeping in the church because he will be leading the early morning prayers tommorow" MOG responded.

The first night i slept in the church, i concluded that the mosquitoes there were "Holy mosquitoes". If you are an unbeliever and you sleep in the church for a night, the next morning you would surely give your life to Christ.

The mosquitoes can sting the living daylight off you. The first night i slept there with Pkc and my cousin Tochiba, i cried althrough the night. They gave me a "per seconds billing" stinging, and the next morning my skin was swollen. But i wondered why Pkc still loved sleeping there, or were the mosquitoes tired of his blood?.

"something is smelling like indian h'emp here, do any of you smoke?" MOG inquired. "No oh, na that Flow perfume wey all of us spray oh, the perfume dey smell like Igboh" Man told a fat lie. One thing i loved Man for was that you can't just throw him off guard, he had a response to every question from his arsenal of lies. He should have been called "LIEnus" instead of "Man". "no, i am sure somebody smoked amongst you guys, i sense the smell once someone that just smoked comes around me" MOG said. "but how do you know?" Brainbox asked.

"dis Brainbox no get sense oh, see the kin question wey him dey ask, if MOG com say him wan smell our mouth nkor? Brainbox na because u no dey smoke nahim make u wan cast us abi?" I tot.

"how wont i know, don't u know before i gave my life to Christ, i was the number one Man of in Poly Nekede where i schooled, i smoked more than chimney, i was a chain smoker, so if i come across a weed smooker i could tell by just smelling the person's cloth" MOG narrated. One hearing that, i saw Snoop moved his body a bit in other for MOG's weed sensitive nose not to percieve the smell of weed emanating from his cloth, Man also did the same. But i did not move my body because i wasn't putting on my cloth, "abi him dey smell person skin sef?" i asked myself.

"that person that smokes, pls change ur ways oh, Jesus Loves u, i pray God arrest you soon, In Jesus name" MOG prayed. "AMEN!!!" we all chorused.

[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]Ehm... Flow... Your ability to update regularly endeared many people to you but this one that you have turned to a one update man is risky o... Don't turn to me ooo...[/quote]am very sorry, i will do my best to improve. Ur PHCN brothers refuse giving us light and my gen is under repairs.

kelvin1191: I almost joined the black brothers movement when i was in sch. But why i didn't joinwas because, guys in that cult were mostly robbers. Some were pilferers, others were pick pockets, while some others had matured to becomehighway robbers...

*****************Flow1759, u lost d respect i av 4 u immediately i saw this ur statement above. Baggas and , who stole better? Which av d highest numba of robbers, thugs and pick-pocket? What is d motto of ur frat cos it says what u guys are. In ur last thread, (ibo boy wey like yoruba) u said dat u ar XYZ and that u ar now a changed man but ur write up still show dat ur ar still a "Boyscout".When men ar leaving frat to reality, u ar here trying to score cheap point to Baggas. Mtcheeew!

na people like una no dey get mind. Must all members all over nigeria be robbers? I am giving u my own account of members, mind u i had so many of dem as friends way back then, so i owe u no apology. Mr , na ur papa get the cult? When i play frat things people like u still dey sec sch.

After i had smoked three Jumbo wraps, i walked home with my guys. Sorry, I didn't walk but flew home, because i was on top of the world, flying on eagles wings.

As i continued walking, i heard a voice spoke to me, I turned, and it wasn't any of my guys that spoke. Yet another voice spoke.

The two voices now spoke together clearly for me to hear. The following conversation ensued between myself and the two voices:

"na me be Tramadol" the first voice said, "my name na Igboh" the second voice said. "my own name na Flow" i responded to the two voices without my mouth moving.

Tramadol: Remove ur shirt.
Flow: why i go remove my shirt?
Igboh: because u be big boy.
Flow: i be big boy na, and i go remove am to show u say i be big boy.

So i removed my shirt and singlet. I turned and saw that Man, Snoop, Tupac, and Bigie were carried away by the football argument they were involved in. So they weren't disturbing the conversation with my newly found invisible friends.

Tramadol: pull ur trouser
Flow: why i go pull my trouser?
Igboh: because u be president of Nigeria.
Flow: i no go pull am abeg, i no wear boxers inside, u want make people dey see my p'rick?
Tramadol: ok go control that traffic for there.

I glanced at the road and saw that there was no traffic jam, but all the cars were moving on high speed.

Flow: but hold-up no dey na.
Igboh: Just go control am like dat, dem go dash u money.
Flow: ok i go go.

I sheepishly walked to the direction of the road to go control the traffic. I saw from the corner of my eyes that my guys were still arguing football so they never saw me leaving.

"hey you!! Stop there!! Hey you! move!!" i commanded as i stood in the middle of the road. The car i commanded to stop didn't stop but tried to catch break, so it made a loud screech as it headed to my direction. I tot it had failed break.

For few seconds i found myself in the spirit world sipping hennesey with Tupac shakur. "i don die be dat oh" i tot.

What confirmed i wasn't dead was when Man shouted, "Flow that motor for kill u oh!!".

Wizee: Flowbaba u dey update fast pass lyk dis b4, watin dey happen?? Or mke i dash u my BB10 so u go fast.... U and Man, i nono who badt for suspence

Wizee, nothing oh. Only that i have been very busy lately(both in bed and out of bed)

"wetin we dey go do for Paapa place?" i asked as we were walking down the street. "we dey go take igboh for there, shebi una dey smoke igboh?" Snoop inquired. "i no dey smoke igboh oh, i no need my brain to die oh, i need am well well oh" Brainbox said. "so we wey dey smoke, our brain go die?" Man queried. "na una sabi na, me i don dey go back house, i think say na food una wan go chop for Paapa place nahim make me follow una" Brainbox said and left. Sure, as an award winning con artist he was, he really needed his brain to always be at alert.

Paapa's place was really a hideout for weed smokers. Not only that, it was also a joint where u could find several cultist from different cults. "make police no come here come pack all of us oh" i tot as i continued smoking. It was as if Snoop read my mind, he said, "Flow no fear oh, here na Government approved Igboh Joint".

"Man, something wey be like Ant dey waka for my chest oh, abi na the Tea wey i take?" i whispered to Man as i was puffing from my second Jumbo. "naso Tea dey do na, u no sabi say na ur chest ur heart dey, the Tea dey pump blood comot for ur chest go other part of ur body, na the blood wey go give ur body the strength wey u go use do kponkpon work Tommorow" Man explained.

"How u take know all dis things sef? U be Doctor?" i said to Man. "i be Doctor na, Doctor of kponkpon" he responded.

Just then, Tupac and Bigie came in. I saw from the corner of my eyes that the both of them anchored Snoop. Not a baggas anchor, but a anchor, "so Tupac, Bigie and Snoop be Ave Maria? So dem dey play Egede?".

I almost joined the black brothers movement when i was in sch. But why i didn't join was because, guys in that cult were mostly robbers. Some were pilferers, others were pick pockets, while some others had matured to become highway robbers.

But i was sure Tupac, Snoop and Bigie were not robbers, not knowing one of them was already a household name for pilfering.

Night fell gradually.

"make we go Paapa place na" Man said. "who be Paapa?" I inquired. "no worry if we reach there u go know" Man answered the same way he answered when he was asked who Obele was.

The guy called Man, so much loved suspence, it pisses me off. "i no want person wey go cut my p'rick oh, like Obele do oh" i tot. "i go follow una go Paapa place oh, make una wait for me oh" Snoop shouted from outside.

As we were about leaving the house, someone came in. MOG was his name.

"MOG!! MOG!!" we hailed. "God bless you guys" he responded (his usual response when two or more persons greets or cheers him).

MOG!! Aaaaah MOG!!. MOG was a short form for Man of God. He was a junior Pastor in our church. What i loved about him was that he was very prayerful. What i disliked about him was that he loved begging for money from his brethren and even outsiders. If he wanted money from anyone, he would simply preach to the person, and at the end of his preaching he would say; "help the ministry with anything, nothing is too big". He hardly says "nothing is too small", because he was wise enough to know that if he said that, he would be given peanuts. If you say he converts the Bible to a gun and uses it to rob people all in the name of "the gospel", you wouldn't be far from the truth. He hardly lacked money because "na where man dey work, na there him dey chop".

"where are u guys going to?" MOG asked. "we dey go buy groundnut and bread wey we go chop" Man told a big fat lie. "u guys should buy for me also, i am very hungry, and am passing the night here" MOG informed.


Or was groundnut and bread the code name of what we were going to do at Paapa's place? Only time would tell.

Emperortj93: Oya continue, i don wake up

u sleep well so?

femzo: Viewing this topic: ebukav(m), flow1759, femzo(m), yoyo the first(f) @ dis tym hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMmmmmmmmm Floooooooooooooooooow God dey ooooooo

femzo no mind dem, dem no dey sleep.

"which Medicine una dey drink sef?" Baba jay asked as he saw us swallowing the drug. "na Tea oh" i responded. "no be only Tea, na cofee, abeg tell me the medicine wey una dey drink jor" Baba said. "ok na Tramadol" Man said, "aaaaah Tramadol!! That drug wey be like c'ocaine, una don take c'ocaine be dat oh" Baba jay said staring at us keenly. On hearing what Baba jay said, i instantly wished i could turn back the hands of time, but it was too late because the Tramadol was already seated in my stomach. "so i don drink coco be dat? Baba jay dey lie abeg, how dis drug go be coco" i tot, no knowing Baba jay was telling us the fact.

"na ur papa go drink c'ocaine no be us" Man insulted Baba Jay. "na my papa u dey curse like dat? U no dey fear me? I be ur mate?" Baba jay attacked. "how many years u be sef? Wey everytime u go dey tell everybody say u be old man" Man attacked. It was really a war of verbal attack between Man and Baba jay. "i be 39 years old, i be ur mate?" Baba said. I tot he said 29, not until he repeated; "39 years na beans? I sure say dem never even born u when i begin to drink beer, even sef, e fit be say ur Mama be my babe before she marry ur papa, before dem com born u" Baba jay said. "u dey mad, no talk of Mama and Papa like dat oh, i dey warn u oh" Man cautioned.

As the both of them continued raining abuses on each other, all i was thinking was; "so Baba jay na 39 years, mehn him senior me with 12years oh".

Baba jay looked a bit matured facially, but i never expected he could be up to 39. I now saw why he insisted he should be called "Baba jay" instead of "Jay" because his name was Jachimike. He should have told us to call him "grandpa Jay" instead of "Baba jay", because he was old enough to be a grandpa, or so i tot.

princesa: why do you always have to spoil the suspense...you don't need to give the spoilers for the next update jó :-/


*opens the next box of popcorn*

Princesa i no dey spoil suspense na. BTW give me small popcorn make i chop na, e don tay wey i chop popcorn, na guguru and ekpa i dey chop everyday.

We left Obele's canteen at about 6pm and we walked home slowly. Slowly was how my two legs could move because my third leg couldn't help hasten my steps. It was weak.


"all my body dey pain me oh, my p'rick sef dey pain me" i complained. "ehen, make we go Oga Benson shop go buy the drug" Man said. "wetin be d drug name sef?" i inquired. "the drug name na Tramadol, but i baptize am, com give am new name, the new name na Tea. So if we reach there na Tea we go say we wan buy, if not Oga Benson no go sell for us" Man responded. "him say plenty Kponkpon boys dey over use the drug, say one of the boys almost die because him take overdose of the drug. Dat na why him no wan dey sell am for anyhow person, na why him code the name of the drug as Tea" Man added.


We bought the Tramadol or rather Tea and headed straight home.


We met only Baba jay at home. "Baba jay u don chop so?" Brainbox asked Baba jay as we got home. "i never chop dis nite oh, but i chop P-square in the afternoon" Baba jay responded.


P-square wasn't the twin guys that sings. It was coined out of paw paw. It was yet another code name.



Before i forgot, we had a neighbour i didn't mention earlier; the two big paw paw trees in our compound. The trees that produced P-square.

opeoluwa2: Happy sunday,
Oga flow pls flow the flow for us to flow with ......
*lol*

happy sunday Opeoluwa, u go church so? I will try my best to keep flowing. Remember, STILL I FLOW.

"Obele give me indomie and Egg, and u go make custard for me sef, u go put enof milk for the custard oh, so the blood wey don comot for my body as i dey work go come back" Man said as we entered Obele canteen. "Obele which soup una cook?" i asked. "u dey mad? Dis place be like where dem dey sell soup?" Obele cursed. "see dis small pekin oh, na me u dey tell say i dey mad? I be ur mate?" i said. "i be like small pekin for ur eye? na ur papa be small pekin" Obele cursed. I was getting mad at the way Obele was insulting me. I never believed Children could be that rude. It was driving me crazy.

I stood up and said, "na one hand i go take finish u oh, ur mate dey primary sch, u dey here, who be ur Oga sef?". Man stood up, came close to me and whispered to my ears saying; "guy na him be the main Obele oh, him no get Oga oh, na him get dis canteen oh". I laughed out loud and said, "how dis small short guy go get dis kin big canteen". I tot he wasn't the main Obele, i tot there was another Obele inside. "na me u dey call short guy?" Obele yelled, keeping his guard and ready to fight. "na me u wan fight? una no get old man for una Village abi?" i yelled keeping my guard also.

"Flow see small pekin wey u wan fight, u no dey shame oh" i said in my mind. It was as if Man heard what i said, he stood up, came close to me and whispered to my ears: "Flow that Obele no be small pekin oh, him just be like Aki and PawPaw Wey dey act film, na Married man him be oh". I just wanted to beat the hell out of Obele so i didn't believe what Man told me. I didn't believe Obele was a Pigmy.

"i go beat u oh, i go blow ur face oh" Obele yelled. "u wey short like dis, how ur hand go take reach my face?" i tot. I never knew that even if his hands couldn't get to my face, there was somewhere it could get to.

My d'ick.

He grabbed my d'ick with so much fury. I cried out. I pleaded with him. I even told him i was sorry, yet he still held my d'ick so tight. I heard a sound as if something had burst. I tot my s'crotum had burst. "Man make una beg for me na, make him no cut my p'rick oh" i cried out.

Man and Brainbox came to my rescue saying; "Obele abeg leave him p'rick na!! Obele abeg no cut him p'rick!! Him no go call u small pekin again!!". "i dey mad wey i go call you small pekin? u be big pekin oh!!!" i cried out.

"guy dis kponkpon work make sense oh" i said as we walked home after work. "when i dey tell u say kponkpon work na the best work, u no believe" Man said. "Man wey dey reason!! Man wey dey reason" I and Brainbox hailed.


It was for sure the best work like Man said. because i was smiling home with 2400naira, though the work i did was worth it. And if u multiply 2400 by 30days in a month, then u would aggree with me that Kponkpon work was more Lucrative than a Bank job. I promised myself i would put in more effort to earn as much as Igbakwambo. It was only a promise.


"Brainbox how much u get sef?" i asked. "Omo na 1200 oh, but tommorow na another day sha" he responded. If only Tommorow could speak. "oboy i dey hungry oh" I said yawning. "we go chop na, we go enter Obele canteen go chop" Man added.


"who be Obele?" Brainbox queried, "no worry when u reach the canteen u go see who him be" Man said. "guy all my body dey pain me oh" I complained. "no worry, e get one strong drug wey we go buy, if una dey drink dat drug everyday after una work finish, una no go dey get body pain, the drug dey give power, nahim i dey drink sef" Man said. On hearing that, i was happy my "kpokpon strength" would be enhanced by an elixir. Not knowing the drug Man was talking about was almost like c'ocaine, it was killing.


Obele!!The only thing i knew about Obele was that Obele meant Small in English. I never knew the person we would meet at the Canteen would be small but mighty.

make una no vex oh, i go drink 1759, Na for one party oh. So my next update would be under the influence of alcohol, i don high.

Ejaisky: Something tell me flow is Mazi and Mazi is Flow. Just my thought though.

make una wake Ejaisky oh, him dey sleep oh, how i go be mazi?

The next thing i saw was four men pouring water on me. I initially tot they were the host of heaven. I tot i was in heaven. One thing for sure was that you can't see bags of cement in heaven. I wasn't in heaven, i was in the store house where bags of cement were stored.


"wetin bring me come here na? Work don finish?" i asked at the same time. "work never finish oh, we think say u don die oh, u fall for where u dey work" Brainbox said. "but u don fall my hand oh, why u no tell me say u no get power na" Man said. "why u dey talk like dis na, shey i be like lazy person?" i responded.


The other guys went to continue working while i and Brainbox sat eating "bons" we bought from a snacks seller.