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Darkness gradually turned to light.


After i gave Brainbox his share of the Money. I suddenly heard someone crying in Papa Ejima's room. I and Brainbow rushed in to meet Mama Ejima crying.


"what happen na?" I asked Papa Ejima who wore a gloomy face. "abi u don use blow finish ur wife face? Ehnn Mr Mike tyson?" I almost said to him.

"MOPO beat my Mummy" Daniel replied. "how MOPO go beat your Mummy, wey ur Daddy wey be Boxer dey here, abi MOPO use that cane wey dey for center of him two leg take flog ur Mummy?" I almost told Daniel.


"MOPO was doing like dis on top of my Mummy" David said demonstrating what i interpreted as F''ucking. His Mummy had been F''ucked or rather r''aped by MOPO. Gallant MOPO.

"but dis MOPO dem wicked oh, see as dem r''ape dis fine woman, and her children dey look as dem dey r''ape their Mama, chei!! And i dey die for Mama Ejima oh" I tot.


I looked at Papa Ejima with pity and said, "shebi u wan kill Brainbox with heavy blow because him look your wife as she dey baf, why you no blow them the MOPO?" I never said that oh!!, my mind said it, i wan die? Unless i was Mohammed Ali that could stand the killer Punch of Papa Ejima.


"Mama Ejima, stop to dey cry, naso God want am" Brainbox consoled. What a way to console a r''ape Victim. I never knew my "condolence" would be worse than that of Brainbox.


"Mama Ejima, no cry. God wey put that kpormor there, no talk say na only Papa Ejima go dey chop am, sometimes e dey good make another person chop small of the kpormor" I couldn't tell the kind of Devil that brought those words out of my mouth.

Before i finished saying the r'ubbish, Papa Ejima chased I and Brainbox out of his house.

As we ran outside with so great a speed, i accidentally hit my leg on a stone on the floor.

And i fell.

"God pls! If Papa Ejima go blow me, make e no be for my chest, make e be for my face. No, make e no be for my face, make e be for my leg" I was praying to God as i lay with my face to the ground. How on earth would Papa Ejima find nowhere perfect enough to give me a punch but my leg. Was that possible?


I turned to see if Papa Ejima was still chasing us. He had since stopped and had gone back to his room to nurse his wound. The wound that his 'beloved wife" had been r''aped.

I thanked my stars.

AVECDEO: Guy ur shakara flex muscle ooo.

Update now.

no vex na.

For 30minutes, we continued having s'ex with the floor, i even had a h'ard on.

The person the robbers shot was still crying bitterly in distress, his/her voice was gradually diminishing, as if He not She was crying the last cry of life. "He" because it was a male voice. But who could it be?


"Flow! Flow!!" i heard Bigie called from outside. "Flow! Brainbox!! Make una come out, dem don go" i heard Tupac's voice. I was convinced it wasn't Tupac neither was it Bigie that was shot.


We came outside to meet a friend called "Mayhem".

Mayhelm everywhere, "make una help oh!!" i heard a voice cried from the gate side, where Haruna's cubicle was. "help oh!! Help me oh Chief is dying, Help oh!" Kate ran out of her room shouting. We divided ourselves. I, Brainbox and Man headed for Haruna's house, while the rest went into Kate's room to see what went wrong.

We got to Haruna's room to meet a funny scene. Very funny!!

Haruna was tied to his wife with a rope. They were tied facing each other as if they were having s'ex, and Haruna was fitgety as if he was giving it real hard to his wife. I couldn't help but laughed. "u dey laugh abi? Abeg make una lose dis rope comot for my body make i go shot those thief with my arrow" Haruna said. "why you no shot dem when dem dey tie you rope, na now wey dem don go u wan shot dem arrow?" Man said.

As Brainbox and Man was untying Haruna and Nkiru, i saw something on the floor, it looked like a roll of money.

Yes! It was money, i quickly picked it and pretended as if nothing happened. I was happy i would have the whole money to myself since nobody saw me picking it, so i tot.


After we had left Haruna's room, immediately we stepped out, i saw what made me paused. My heart also paused.


Chief was carried outside, the same Chief that gave us money the other day. He was so f'at that Snoop, Bigie, Tupac, Tega and Kate was finding it difficult to carry him. He had been shot in the chest. A big hole was in his chest.

Althrough my school years, i had been seeing people shot in the leg or arm. But, that was the first time i saw someone shot in the chest. Omoh! No be film trick oh! No be super story! Na real.


My dirty mind swayed to something dangling in between Chief's Boxers. His d'ick and his s'crotum was very big as if he had Elephantiasis of the s'crotum. It seemed he was about having s'ex with Kate when the robbers or rather the Killers came. His d'ick was rock hard. As if it was saying, "give me kpormoh! I want kpormoh!". I wanted to laugh, but i dared not, because that was the wrong time to laugh. So i smiled.


I swayed my mind to the "kpormoh" area. The W shape in between Kate's leg. The leggings she was wearing revealed the shape of her fleshy Honey well. My d'ick responded to the stimuli. Mehn! I felt droplets of something coming out of my p''enis, as if i was having premature e''jaculation.

"make una put am for motor" Man who was already at the drivers seat of Chief's big Jeep said.

They all managed to enter the Jeep except I and Brainbox.


"why you dey smile?" Brainbox asked me, "no oh, i no dey smile, naso my face dey be if i wan cry" I responded changing my face gloomy.


"where the money wey u pick for Haruna room" Brainbox said as we got close to our room.

Oh my God!! How come he saw me picked the money. Maybe he had an invisible eye behind his head. BRAINBOX!!!

dandollaz: Floweed nwanne Ina apikam oooo.

dandollaz where you dey since Ele ebe igara

[quote author=Donshegxy_10]Cant stop laughing. . . So funny!![/quote]thank you first timer on my thread.

I was hearing heavy b''anging at the doors of Kate and Papa Ejima. The robbers were much.


They were much, but only two of them entered our room. They looked more like masquerades with the black mask on their faces. Their torch light gave the room a glow, as if the Moon was in our room. The name of one of them was MOPO, while the name of the other one was MOPO. Maybe that was their code name, or maybe not.

Maybe it meant Mobile Police. Or maybe it was an acronym for "Mobile Oleh and Pilferers Organisation".


"if i catch any of una look up ehnn" One of the MOPO warned. As i lay facing the floor, i was dancing "Makossa" to the "drum beats" Baba jay's non stop fart was playing.

I wasn't the only one dancing Makossa, we were all dancing in fear as we lay facing the floor.

"common! Stop to dey mess!! before i use dis gun shot your n'yash" MOPO yelled hiting Baba jay on the a''ss with the flat side of a cutlass. The fart stopped, but we were still dancing. Shaking as if we were having s'ex with the floor.

"where una money dey?" MOPO yelled, "oga MOPO, we be poor boys, we no get money oh" Man said.
"we know say una no get money, we no come for una sef, we come for another thing" MOPO said. Only God knew what he was talking of.


"ok, who get dis watch and necklace" MOPO was talking of the watch and necklace on the table, "na dis boy here, him name na Tega" Snoop said, "u dey mad! Oga MOPO no be my own oh, na him own" Tega refused ownership of his properties, "na your own! na your own! Na your own jor!" was the argument that ensued between Tega and Snoop. "shut up!!" MOPO brought the argument to a stop.


"MOPO dem cook better soup with plenty meat oh, Eba even dey sef" the other MOPO informed his friend. "ehen, bring am make we chop na" the other MOPO replied. He was talking of the Eba we kept for Pkc, incase he returned.

Talking of Pkc, he was hardly around when trouble came. Or was God watching over "His own" Pkc. I too could be reffered to as "His own", His own that had gone astray, like the lost sheep. Or so i tot


"MOPO! Them dis guys get fine fine shoe oh" MOPO informed his friend. "pack all the shoe na!" the other MOPO commanded. "wetin we go dey wear na" i almost said, as i heard MOPO bagging our shoes.


"u dey look our face abi? Stand up!! You!!" i tot the MOPO was talking to me. He was actually talking to Man.

"pack all una phone put for nylon, and give me" MOPO said to Man after giving him a deafening slap. "wetin be ur name sef?" the other MOPO asked Man. "my name na MAN, my papa name na WEY DEY REASON" Man said. Maybe the slap had turned his brain up side down, maybe.

On hearing how Man introduced himself, i mistakenly laughed, "who laugh?" MOPO queried. "na dis boy laugh" Man tapped me.

At that moment, i felt poo running down my bowel, "i don die today" i tot. "stand up!!" MOPO ordered. As i stood up, i heard, "gboooooaaaaaar!!" it was a gunshot, i tot i had been shot. I felt my heart fall off my chest. The next noise i heard was someome crying bitterly, that was when i realized i wasn't the one shot. It was someone else, someone not even in our room.


"MOPO!! MOPO!! We don kill am, make we dey go" i heard a voice outside informing the two MOPO in our room, and they quickly left.

What i couldn't tell, was who they had killed.

The next day, Brainbox was discharged from the hospital.

"e get as dis house dey smell since yesterday oh" Man said. "na true talk oh" Snoop added.

"maybe na dat dustbin wey dey outside" I said. "no be dustbin jor, the thing dey smell like piss, abi person piss for our rug?" Man inquired. "maybe na Daniel and David" I said.

At that moment, Bigie came in, "Bigie where tupac na?" Man asked, "him go gym for Tony side" Bigie replied, "ehenn! Make we go gym na, e don tay wey i gym sef" Man said. "who be Tony?" I intentionally asked knowing what would be Man's response, "when we reach there, you go see am" He replied.

"i go follow una go gym oh" Brainbox said. "ehnnn! U wan die? e be like say life no dey sweat you again? U just dey come back from hospital because of blow wey Papa Ejima blow you for chest, u wan com follow us go gym" I said.


I, Man, Bigie and Snoop were off to Tony's place, which was the next compound.

We got to the shanty looking hostel and we walked straight to the backyard, where the gym was.

Tony's gym was equiped with two barbells and four dumb-bells.

We met Tupac alone working out. He wasn't only working out, he "garnished" it with igboh.

My oh my!! How i loved working out and smoking at the same time. It reminded me of a place called "Sokoto". Sokoto was a bush path in the barracks where we gathered every evening to smoke weed. And at the back of Sokoto was a local gym constructed by a member of Sokoto.

I was displaying the stuff i was made of. I was displaying my "gyming skill", when a guy came, "whooooooooo beeeeee this?" I tot he was singing, "Tuuuuuupaaaac, i saaaaaaay whoooo beee this?" He said stamping his foot on the ground, i tot he was dancing.

He wasn't Singing, neither was he dancing. He was a heavy stammerer. And his name was "Toooooony". My bad! Tony.

"na my guy be dis, him name na Flow" Tupac introduced me to Tony. "ooooookay, Flooooooow hoooow far?" Tony said giving me a handshake.

Mehn! Tony was going through Hell as a stammerer. Although, stamping his foot on the floor seemed like he was dancing "Atilogu", he did so to ease the stammering.

Since i was born, i had never seen such a stammerer. His stammering sounded more like rap music. Hard core rap music.

Since we were smoking and at the same time working out, we never saw Time flew.

Darkness came gradually, and soon it was night.

After working out and smoking, what comes to mind? Food! Food! and Food!

It was Baba jay's turn to cook, so we got home to meet a delicious Okro soup.

It was my turn to lie on the floor that night.

That night i called Florence. I had earlier told her on phone that i would give her a mid night call. because it was free. She bought the idea anyways.

I was lying on the floor "Jejely" making my call and using sweat words to woo Florence, when i heard a thundering b''ang on our door. I stood up to see who was the f'ool b''anging at our door at such an unholy hour.

It was no f''ool, it was the Wise ones.

The gentlemen in black.

beycitee: flow nah wa 4 u oh,u no just get liver at all...see as u piss 4 body cos of dagger,if nah gun unkor??

people wey dey talk like u, na them dey fear death pass. Make i form "Superman" for person wey hold dagger abi?

See ehnn, if you talk of HARD man, then i am the real defination? Added to the fact that i was a cultist, was the fact that i was/am a Martial artist. So i have seen it all.

deesnipes: HahhAhahahha yepa.
Flow don piss for body o.

na bad condition cause am

"Flow, i don comot for house oh, i no want make police come arrest me say i dey here when them Kill Brainbox oh" Baba jay said to me as i was lying on the bed. "haba!! Baba jay why u dey yan like dis, Brainbox never die na" I replied, "i don tell u my own, i don comot for house" Baba jay said and left the room.

Like they say; "A friend in need is a friend indeed", i couldn't imagine myself saying what Baba jay said. How could i leave when Brainbox needed me the most? Well, Baba jay lived like an island, he cared about no one but himself, when he was actually living at the mercies of the rest of us.

"if Police like make them come, i ready to go police station because of my guy Brainbox" i tot.

I could even take a bullet for Brainbox, or so i tot.


As i lay on the bed, sleep came and i slept off. I had a horrible dream, "Flow!! Help me, help me!!" Brainbox cried out for help as we were swimming in Otammiri river. I swam so fast combining butterfly stroke and back stroke, still i couldn't get to Brainbox fast enough. The water current was moving fast, and Brainbox was trying his best to swim, but he couldn't because the current was against him, "Brainbox!! try swim na!!" I shouted, "Flow i no sabi swim na" Brainbox cried. The water current was carrying him gradually, gradually, and gone. Brainbox was gone. Otammiri had carried him.

"Brainbox!! Brainbox!! Brainbox!!" i shouted at the top of my voice.


I was brought back to reality from dreamland by the ringing of my phone. I recieved the call from my Mum, she just wanted to know how i fared.

"which kin dream be dis? Me wey no sabi swim, na me com dey wan help Brainbox wey sabi swim, wetin dis dream mean na?" I pondered.

I could suddenly feel that my bladder was full, and about to burst. It was as if i drank the whole water in Otammiri River in my dream.


As i stood up to go ease myself in the toilet, i heard, "Gbaaam!! Gbaaaam! Gbaaaaam!! Open dis door!!" someone was knocking hard on the door, "walahi if u no open dis door ehnnn?" i realized it was Haruna.

"wetin Haruna want na? Abi him wan tell me say Brainbox don die?" the tot of this sent goose pimples all over my body.


I wanted to go ease myself first before i get the door, but as he continued knocking hard, i had no choice but to get the door.


The first thing i saw as i opened the door was a curved dagger.

"u see dis dagger? Nahim i go use kill all of una wey chop my fowl, as una take cut my fowl neck naso i go cut una neck, after i kill una finish i go use una do suya" Haruna threatened with a stony face.

As i saw the glittering dagger coming close to me, i caught instant cold.


Before i knew it, urine had started flowing out of my p''enis. I had peed on my trousers.


"i dey come back for una" Haruna said bringing the dagger close to my stomach, very close. I tot he wanted to stab me, so the speed at which urine gushed out of my p''enis increased, and it gushed as fast as water gushing from a tap.

Haruna left me in a pool of my urine. The whole room was flooded, not with water but with urine.

Wizee: for ur mind

you think say i dey lie? ask foxy

[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]Where this man?[/quote]foxy i go s'hit for bush,i dey s'hit, if i s'hit finish i go update

Ezeebube2: Baba flow ehn, i've done a careful analysis on all your stories on NL, and arrived at the conclusion that ur "John Thomas" has lost its right to be regarded as "Private Part" but now should be referred to as "Public Tool"

.

why you dey yan like this na, john thomas is my priceless asset

Wizee: LOL, so u wan tell me say u be dis camelo abi

camelo no fine na, Flowey fine pass am.

Wizee: Flow wait oo, i wan ask u sumtin So u wan tell me say u fine pass Man wey dey reason, & brainbox? Why e b say na u d woman see, cum say mke u cum sleep wit her. Talk truth, 4una 3wey dey do kponkpon, who fine pass?

Haba Wizee why u dey yan like dis? Man wey black like "back of pot" nahim u wan compare with me?

If ur sister sees me, she will leave her present boyfriend for me, because am not only fine facially. I am a defination of S E X Y.

Daniel and David got close to their house, stopped abruptly, and yelled, "Man wey dey thief fowl". Man looked at them and smiled. But when they yelled, "Brainbox wey dey thief fowl", Brainbox stood up and chased them. They ran into thier house and locked the door.

I quickly took some chunks of meat from Brainbox's plate of chicken pepper soup.

As i turned to see if Brainbox was coming, i saw him doing something else.


He was "Flatscreening". He was peeping through the window of Mama and Papa Ejima's bathroom, viewing Mama Ejima as she was taking her bath.

The "left" side of my mind told me to go join him, while the "right" side of my mind warned me against going. "go watch free b'lue film na" the left side of my mind suggested, "no go oh, what of if Papa Ejima come back, u know say na by dis time him dey come back" the right side of my mind warned. "shebi if him dey come, u go hear him motor noise, go jor" the left side of my mind told me.

I fought the temptation fiercely. I won the battle

Even though i had a crush on Mama Ejima.

It seemed Brainbox was watching Part 1 and Part 2 of the B'lue film, because he was taking so long. Not knowing the B'lue film he was watching on "flatscreen" would soon turn horror film.


Papa Ejima arrived without his car. And Brother Brainbox was still peeping Mama Ejima.

I felt like shouting, "Brainbox comot there!!!" but everything happened too sudden. Morealso, Papa Ejima was walking very fast. With every step Papa Ejima took, i wept for Brainbox.


"what are u doing standing close to my Bathroom window?" Papa Ejima queried, "eeehnnnn! ehnnn! Na Lizard i dey pursue, ehnnn! ehnn! the Lizard don enter ur bathroom" Brainbox stammered.

Papa Ejima noticed his wife was in the bathroom, he said, "so u are peeping my wife as she is taking her bath ehnnnn?" Papa Ejima grabbed Brainbox's shirt, i could see Papa Ejima's face spelt fury, "ehnnnnn I no look ur wife oh, i close my eye when i dey pursue the Lizard, so i no see anything" Brainbox cried out.


Once a boxer, always a boxer.


Papa Ejima clinged his fist and landed a punch to Brainbox's chest. The punch was as heavy as the punch of Mike Tyson and Evander Hollifield put together.

Brainbox fell to the ground convulsing, with a foamy substance coming out of his mouth.


We all came closer to meet Brainbox shaking like a Jelly fish on the ground. "u don kill am oh" Man said, "na because him dey look ur wife wey dey baf" Snoop said, "na only u get wife wey fine?" Bigie said.

As they were all raining abuses on Papa Ejima, i couldn't find my speech, "so na like dis Brainbox my guy take go? My guy! My man! My nigga! My pardy" I was lost in my tots.

At that moment, Mama Ejima came out with a towel covering her body. She came to meet the u'gly scene.


Tears came running down my cheek for the first time in a long while.

"make we rush am go hospital, where ur motor na?" Man queried Papa Ejima. "my car is with the mechanic, that is why i came home on foot" Papa Ejima replied. Papa Ejima was fidgety, i saw "Fear" written all over him. "since the hospital no far, make i carry am for my shoulder na" Snoop suggested f'oolishly, but i wouldn't blame him, he just wanted to save a dying friend.


"make una put am for my motor, make we carry am go hospital before him go die" Haruna who just drove in offered. They all managed to enter the car except Me and Baba jay. I just couldn't go with them, because my whole body was stiff. I couldn't move.

As Haruna's car zoomed off, i couldn't help but cried. They say; "Big boys don't cry", but not when the Big boy's best friend was about dying.

Nduking92: Aro flowey u and my brother(mbaise)brainbox no try for dis one.una suppose giv d children smal,make sure they chop am finish for una face b4 leavin,anyway Innachesta innacosta innabruta all barga mind are not d same.flavour n'abania beg me make i yarn u "fire d go,flowey oku"

make una come oh! Flavour brother nahim be Nduking oh! Come to think of it, all these our celebreties and their relatives, are they not in Nairaland?


As for me, i be TUPAC mama, brother, uncle, friend, sister pekin wey come stay for naija. Or so i tot.

What of you?

The story "Man wey dey reason" has ended. No more updates.















APRIL FOOL

"guy no be today we go go dat Nekede Exclusive garden, na tomorrow, i wan go fill JAMB form" Man said the next morning after morning devotion. "me sef dey comot, i dey enter IMSU, the course wey i get spill over na today them dey do the test" I said.


I came back from school at about 2pm and met a full house save Pkc. "where Pkc go na?" I asked, "u dey ask M'umu question, shey you no know where him dey dey? na Church na" Snoop replied. "food dey house?" I asked, "no food oh" Man responded.


As we sat under the Mango tree munching unripe P-square, then came Bigie. The Notorious BIG.

"dis one wey una dey chop P-square wey no ripe, food no dey una house?" Bigie asked, "food no dey house oh" the revenous Baba jay responded.


"guys i get one good idea oh, make we catch some of dis Haruna fowl cook chop na, him no dey house oh" Notorious BIG suggested. Good idea indeed.

I never bought the idea, but what was i to do? An idle mind is the devil's workshop, they say.


We bagan to chase the fowls around the compound. I knew it wouldn't be a wild Goose chase.

Bigie caught a hen that was as f'at as himself, he handed it over to me, and i tranfered it to a big drum. Next, Brainbox caught a c'ock, he handed it over to me and i tranfered it to the big drum. At the end of the chase that lasted for about an hour, we caught 4hens and 2c'ocks.

Althrough while we were chasing the fowls, Daniel and David were watching us keenly. I was wondering what they would be saying in their minds, maybe they would be saying, "these men are thieves, i don't want to be like them when i grow up". Same thing i said when i was their age, i said i wouldn't smoke but i turned out to be a Lord of smoke, i said i wouldn't womanize but i turned out having s'ex with a woman old enough to be my mum. My next s'ex escapade might be with a woman old enough to be my grandmum, or so i tot.


We fetched firewood, made fire outside, and we started preparing chicken pepper soup.

Since Haruna had almost a hundred fowls, he would hardly notice we stole six fowls, just six fowls, or so i tot.

Snoop bought three bottles of Baron de vale wine for us to use to send home the chicken pepper soup. How thoughtful of Snoop. But where did he get the money for the drinks? I was sure he didn't steal it because non of my roomates were thieves, i could confidently say that, or so i tot.

The chicken pepper soup was ready within an hour.

Man was the first to munch his share of the meat, as he took the first big bite, David and Daniel cheered, "Man wey dey reason!!". "eeeeeh! Children Children" Man said to them.

"make we come chop?" Daniel and David chorused. "i resemble una Papa? Abeg make una go read una book" Man replied them.

The two kids walked away, and as they were a bit far, they shouted, "Man wey dey thief Fowl" and they ran.

ifeolad8: ;DNice1 but u go still do anoda round nw or so I tot

how you take know? Or so i tot.

Monday came bringing the thoughts of kponkpon.

"Madam say after today we go wait till next week before we go come work again, say her pekin we dey abroad never send money wey we go use continue the work" Man said as we walked to work that morning, "but why she talk like that na?" I asked, "when we reach there make u ask her" No one said that but Man, Man wey dey reason.

"that mean say we need to dey look for where we go dey work till Madam Ifeoma call us back" Brainbox said, "no worry tomorrow i go carry una go one place, them dey call am Nekede Exclusive garden, work plenty there" Man promised.

As work was in progress, i noticed Madam Ifeoma was staring at me althrough, "make dis woman no dey put eye for my work na, abi she think say i dey cheat?" I tot.

Yes, her eyes were on me, not in suspicion but in s'eduction.

After about two hours of tiring kponkpon, she said, "Flow i want to see u at Old solja's house now!".

"Flow wetin u do na?" I heard Brainbox said, "i no know oh" I replied, "when you reach there u go know" Man used his usual words.

"abi she wan tell me say make i stop to dey work for her site? Abi she wan tell me say i no sabi work? Wetin i do na?" I was lost in my tots as i walked to Old solja's house.

I got to Old solja's shanty house, and the whole place was deserted, then i heard, "come in Flow, am here" Madam Ifeoma said from inside, "why dis woman say make i come in, abi she wan use me do b'lood money?" I tot as i walked into Old solja's room. "hey! Sweaty Flow, come seat by my side" She said, "make i come seat by ur side, for wetin na? Abi kponkpon dey by ur side?" I almost said.


"i want you to make love to me here" She said bringing her hands close to my John thomas. "and if i don't?" i thought i said that in my mind, unfortunately i spoke it out. "if u don't, first of all u will lose ur job, and i will screem that you want to r'ape me here, and u known how the people of this place handles boys that r'apes, they will lynch you to death" Madam Ifeoma threatened and grabbed my John thomas, "yeeeh, my p'rick oh, she wan cut my prick for money ritual oh, Old solja help me oh" i almost shouted, even if i did, nobody would come to my rescue because Old solja lived alone and he wasn't around.

"but am dirty na, and i don't have a C'ondom" I complained to her who was already taking off my kponkpon attire. "don't worry i have c'ondoms in my bag, and i don't mind that u are dirty" She said pushing me to Old solja's bed that smelt like s'kunk.
"mhnnnnn!! Who mess?" i almost said, oweing to the fact that Old solja's bed smelt as if someone had f'art.


I made love to the Old lady as if i was under duress to do so.

Though it was sweat sha!!!.

I rammed in and out of her extra large Honey well that was drowning my J'ohn thomas. As i rammed in and out, i felt sorry for myself that i was having s'ex with a woman old enough to be my mum.

Mehn! She was enjoying the sweat sensation my J'ohn thomas sent, i was also enjoying the swimming my J'ohn thomas swam in her poolsize Honey well.

That would be the first and last time i would have s'ex with her, even if she put a gun to my head, i promised myself. A promised i was sure would fail.

Rashoki: Mr flow try 2 update asap!its nt an optional am mandating it

Rashoki, no be by force to write for English na, u for use pidgin, i go understand. Which one be "it is not an optional" Abi na queen's English?

vision2050: dis MOG self, instead of dat he should have adopt L101

abi oh. No mind am

"Aro, dis guy must smoke dis igboh oh" one of the guys said to the other.

I now realized they were my brothers. My Aro brothers.

"Aro mate, elele ti elele, wosky sons of Odin rugged una oh" i greeted them. "so u be bagger nahim u come dey do like jew man" one of them said and Anchored me.

I hurriedly smoked the weed they offered me and rushed out to meet MOG.

"they didn't harm you? Thank God oh" MOG said, "so naso u for run leave me and them for kill me abi?" i tot.

We continued walking looking for where next to settle and preach, "lets enter that boutique" MOG suggested pointing to a Male boutique.

We entered the boutique to meet an angel in human flesh, a beautiful lady.

"Good day Pastors" she said beckoning for us to seat down, "what may i offer u?" she asked, "water!! just water" MOG replied. Within a twinkle of an eye, she brought two bottle water. She was so hospitable that i concluded she owned the place.

MOG started preaching to her, quoting Bible passages off hand.

The igboh i smoked was gradually turning my head up side down that to everything MOG said i responded with Amen. Even when he said, "this ur boutique is beautiful", "Amen!!" I responded and the Lady stared at me in a strange way, as if i was mad.

Yes! I was mad, mad for Christ, inspired by igboh, or so i tot.

As MOG preached, he began to catch prophesies, he said, "sister, u are waiting on the Lord for a husband, am i right?" "u are right pastor" she replied, "the Lord said i should tell you that this year u will get married" MOG spoke out the Rhema, "Amen!!" the lady caught the rhema. "Amen!" I also said, as if the prophesy was for me.

"but if u must get Married, u must sow a seed" MOG said, "i will do anything" the lady assured, "u will do anything ehn?" MOG said.

Something in me told me MOG was gradually turning the Bible to a gun he would use to rob the lady, "bring this, this, this, this and this as a seed to the Lord" MOG pointed at five colourful shirts. I was right, he had started his robbery. "ok Pastor" the Lady said removing the shirts from their hangers and bagging them. "bring this and this also" MOG the spiritual robber said pointing at two black trousers. The Lady bagged them all and MOG said, "now lemme pray for you".

He barely had started praying when i heard, "returning those clothes to her". I initially tot it was the Voice of God. "i say make u return those clothes to my sister" the voice said again, this time i was sure it wasn't the Voice of God so i opened my eyes and saw a thick beard guy. MOG fumbled as he gave the clothes back to the lady.

The guy brought out a dagger and said, "i go chok una if una no leave this shop now".

MOG was the first to run out and i followed with a great speed, say 20km/sec. The guy ran after us with so much speed that he was getting closer to me.

I increased my speed to 30km/sec, wishing i had a third leg. As for MOG, he ran so fast that he mistakenly dropped his Bible to the ground. Like "James hardly chase", he was really hard to chase.

The guy stopped chasing us because he was tired and I thanked God Almighty because I too was tired.

Since that day i vowed never to go preaching with the lily livered MOG.

Sheggun1: I dey feel u........yawa do gas b dAt

yawa na my best friend, me and him dey sleep for the same bed, but i dey always overcome am.

"brother Ugo, you will be preaching in the next room we enter" MOG said. "ok! no problem, the Lord is my strength" I replied.

The Lord is my strength indeed, because i knew it wouldn't be easy.

As we entered a hostel, i could percieve weed. Definately, people were smoking somewhere.

"knock at this door" MOG commanded me to knock at the door of the room i suspected as the room the smell of weed emanated from, "but MOG, dis is the room the smell of weed is coming out from, they must be smoking weed inside, why don't we knock at the next room? I suggested.

"O yee man of Little faith" MOG quoted the Bible reffering that i had little faith.

I agree, i had little faith, but had he forgotten the same Bible said, "render to Ceasar what is for Ceasar, and to God what is for God". So he should let the Igboh smokers be. I could bet my life that we wouldn't win the souls of the people smoking weed inside, even if they were babies.

"o yee man of Little faith, don't you know it will be easier to win the Souls of the people smoking? Don't u know we are children of God and we shouldn't fear?" MOG said and knocked.

Legend has it that whenever a weed smoker is smoking, his physical ears is shut while his spiritual ears is opened to listen to spiritual inspiration.

We entered and met two hefty guys smoking "igboh". MOG beckoned on me to start preaching.

"praise the Lord!!" i said, "igboh is sweat!!" they both responded, "the Lord is Good!!" I and MOG chorused, "sweat igboh!!" they responded. Despite their "worldly" response, i still continued with my preaching.

I preached and preached, jumping from one topic to another, quoting wrong scriptures, fidgety at what the igboh smokers might do if i spoke about how bad it was to smoke.

I finally entered the topic saying, "u see my brothers, it is not good to smoke, apart from the fact that it is bad medically, scripturally it is bad too". "Brother Ugo, show them the verse in the Bible that says we shouldn't smoke" MOG landed me in trouble, "ehn ehn ehn open to Gene........, John..........," i stammered and coughed mixing the book of Genesis with the book of John. "but MOG if u know am, u for tell us na, why u want make i fall my hand" i tot.

I preached and preached leaving the scripture aspect for God knows who. But these guys were still smoking. "una no dey fear God oh, i dey preach for una, una dey smoke Igboh, una dey mad oh" i dared not say that.

As an Igboh smoker, i could tell when someone smoking was at his/her peak. These guys were at their peak. So it was time to go, before "water pass garri", "let us pray" I said. As i was about saying the closing prayer one of the guys stood up and came close to me saying, "Oga pastor take igboh smoke na", he was offering me weed.

"No!! i don't smoke, i am a Man of God" I refused. "chei! If to say MOG no dey here, i for smoke dis igboh oh, e be like say the igboh go sweat oh" i tot.

"u must smoke am oh" the other guy said standing up. "i say u must smoke am oh" the first guy said bringing the weed close to my mouth.

Before i could say Jack Robinson, one of the guys smashed a bottle on the floor, "i go chok u dis bottle if u no smoke dis Igboh" he threatened.

I cried bitterly.


I turned left and MOG had fled, leaving me to carry my cross alone.

Josphine4good: flow chose one, either u want me to put a dog chain round your neck or u want me to castrate u. Am waiting

u see ur fellow woman, u no fit fight. Na my body ur power dey. Is that what i get for marrying an O''FEMMANU woman like u?

simple2626: Flow na tru u talk, I use to stay in mallorca suit, dat is in SA, my guy to be sincere dat place na lions den.

no mind Wizee. SA wey dem dey shoot gun like say na knockout. I almost die there na. I go knack una d tori of how i almost die there sef.

SexyDuby: Flowistic Flooooooow.........so na all dese ur e-wives & fans no make u remember say u get "Away match" wit sexyduby. I don vex!

my one and only SexyDuby, No vex, ok i will spend three "Away" nights with you. How about that? *if josphine hear am, i don smell pepper be dat*

Wizee: FLow u knw CMC hostel close to assemblies busstop? Me crash for that place wen i cum nekede. But u sure say cultist full SA? Bcoz wen me cum there, i stay lyk 2mnts plus, dat area dry

wizee if u know sch environment well well, u go know say the place wey dry for day time nahim dey bad pass for night. Maybe u no dey come outside for night the time wey u stay S/A. Yes i know Assemblies bus stop wey dey for Umudibia. U know maternity bus stop?