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Foreign AffairsRe: Samer al-Hajj: Israeli Strike Kills Senior Hamas Figure In South Lebanon(photos) by Gabangel(m): 12:02am On Aug 10, 2024
Truthissupreme:
i am still yet to know why iran and its proxies don't hit israel top commanders like israel do them precisely

They would rather fire multitude of missiles just for casualty sake which is neutaralized

Israel takes the time do surgery attacks which is stronger in my view
You can guess how long it took them to plan October 7. Israel is superbly defended and also superbly offensive when they want to be. Once in a while when Iran messes up they send reminders. And assure you, Iran calms down.
PoliticsRe: 24 Hours To Hunger Protest, Steps FG Has Taken To Stop Demonstration (Full List) by Gabangel(m): 2:47pm On Jul 31, 2024
benuejosh:
Okay.

In Nigeria, the protest is as a result of bad state actors who are feeling pained that the election conducted didn't bring them to power even when some came distant third position.

There is hunger in the land. Yes it is true, but what have the individuals done about it? did hunger start today? have they gone to farm? they blame the government and i ask, define government. Are the masses not the authority? are they not the ones who sent people to represent them? What have they done to support those they sent to represent them? If they are hungry they should go to farm and not allow themselves to be used with hunger as an excuse or tool to be used by those who lost out of election to cause chaos.

The rot of over 16 years cannot be cured by just 1 and half year of Tinubu in government. Peter Obi had 8 years as governor of a state yet left Anambra as one of the worst state in terms of development and governance.

Those behind the protest are only calling for anarchy and chaos to make this administration unstable.

Even if the protest ends, untill the farmers harvest their crops, there's nothing that can be done about the hunger. Government can not farm to feed the whole nation. Most Nigerians want everything to be given to them freely without them working for it.

Minimum was increased to about N30k Abia state and Benue that i am aware of were still paying workers about N18k till date. But it is the federal government that they want to blame. Even if it is increased to 200k, federal government will pay her own workers but will the state government pay their workers? will the private sector pay? are the protesters protesting against their state government or against Tinubu? The man -Tinubu- has increased minimum wage. Ask your state governors to implement it and lets see.

Traders in the market are increasing prices in the market at will, are they protesting against those traders? but it is Tinubu that is increasing prices.
We need to be wise as a people in this country.
The call for anarchy should be resisted by all means and those supporting it should be brought to book.

For me, i am not protesting because the protest is just a call for anarchy. The government is working round the clock to make sure things work out for good.

Don't allow hatred for a particular ethnic group to cloud your sense of reasoning.

Tinubu is working!
You really are a marvel of intuition. What evidence is there that you say Benue state is paying minimum wage 18000 when the governor and Osun state governors are the only ones who are said to agreed to increase their minimum wage to 60000?! You don't even realize that Benue state's former government was always having issues paying salaries but not this one. Even teachers would not get salary at a point not to talk of retirees. Let me leave Benue because you seem just to want to use your intuition to talk.
Then now the issue of the protest. People calling against it seem to be those mostly benefiting from the present arrangment or party like mostly Yorubas and the APC people, or even the governors and politicians. (you see as it sounds now). This statement may sound true but its wrong, very wrong just as yours. I don't like APC in any way but I feel a protest of this nature, if they want to copy the Kenyans and Ugadan, will nearly burn the country down. Except they want to show that Nigeria can be different and peaceful. There's a lot to say but please, accusing the opposition is a poor ploy. Anyone who is bitter, having to pay as much as 800-1000 for a litre of fuel, to buying a mudu of rice for almost 2500 would be pained. A phone of 45000 last year is now pricing for almost 105000! And things are not slowing down. There is so much to list, added to the increase in nepa bill but so if someone is complaining, its not because he is an opposition member, its because he is pained. And yes some politicians would key into this, but also remember isn't it the same thing APC did during the time of Jonathan; only to come and do far superbly worse than he could have done with eyes closed and giving free hand to people!
EducationRe: The Amount Someone Spent To Graduate In Uk by Gabangel(m): 12:15pm On Jun 19, 2024
This is so not true. Cost of pounds in 2022 was different from this year. Even the price in September 2023 was different from December 2023. Except the person said they are paying this year.
PoliticsRe: Manufacturers Wail As Unsold Goods Pile Up In Warehouses by Gabangel(m): 1:04pm On May 20, 2024
gozmok1:
You go to hospital you don't care where the doctor comes from, you don't care about his religion... All you seek is good service

You put your money in banks you don't care where the owner is from, what his religion is

But time to elect President you say you can't vote a Christian, or an Igbo man continue

When you guys are ready enter the streets and protest and I pray what happened to endsars protesters happens to you all
Your write-up sounds funny. can you compare a politician to a doctor (who has taken promise to save lives), a banker (who if one of your kobo miss is in trouble) or even the food seller (who if your stomach do you like you no understand you would...)? A politician who can kill, forget promises, uses force and dictatorship, not care about the lives of people he is ruling?
Even Doctors sometimes we chose them. Even banks, when they misbehave. And the interesting thing is how many doctors or banks bribes you to follow them? What of politicians... Sic...
PoliticsRe: FG Completes Dualised Abuja-Keffi-Markurdi Road (Video) by Gabangel(m): 8:24pm On May 01, 2024
Urheadmaster:
Expressway no side walk no bicycle lane and some people are applauding the rubbish
You have so embarrassed us that I wonder if we can take you for a visit to Cameroon. Where have you seen side walk road in a country side road? not even in the US or Australia, and their roads 66 and the likes..
PoliticsRe: FG Completes Dualised Abuja-Keffi-Markurdi Road (Video) by Gabangel(m): 8:22pm On May 01, 2024
ironheart:
One of the best road in Nigeria right now
Its not one of the best roads in Nigeria, In all my years of travelling, I have never seen a road as good as this, not even on film. It is the best road available right now in Nigeria.
Foreign AffairsRe: ISRAELI Weapon Damaged Iranian Air Defenses Without Being Detected by Gabangel(m): 10:17am On Apr 21, 2024
Soliddust3030:
Israel una penetrate Iran defence. Abeg make una fight Iran one on one without USA first.
I don't know which kind thinking you get. You know that US has never done this kind of attack. This one it even bypass some country's airspace such that they didn't even know. If na US, them go dey collect permission from here and there or use force. Such precision strike is what even Iran cannot do on its own! And by the way, Israel been hitting Iran on different occasions on their Nuclear arsenals and they cannot even respond. Does Iran know whether or where Israel's nuclear arsenal is? This is a matter of hands down, Israel is not Iran's mate in warfare. Not even by a mile.
TravelRe: What I Think About The New Method For Applying For Our International Passport by Gabangel(op): 2:57pm On Mar 22, 2024
IamCookie:
Well, my intent was different from all you have written here. Not everyone knows how to use it. I used to make that error too before I was corrected, Since we are here to learn and also continue learning , it suffice that I should say something. Even if I were to be writing Pidgin or creole , when I get to that point to use such , I'd write it correctly. No judgement!
e no answer my question o, dem dey correct pidgin language abi nigerian creole (yes, because its specific to us, the semantics and ideology even if Cameroon and Ghana have a likeness to ours)? Then as a writer, I cannot use the term - "in case of necessity" when I have if the need arises, if necessary and a lot more... there's a sort of tautology about it. Our Pidgin allows for a lot of grammatical and english sound crimes to be committed, so much that it felt odd to hear someone correct it. Anyways. Hope you are not a Karen o?
TravelRe: What I Think About The New Method For Applying For Our International Passport by Gabangel(op): 2:42pm On Mar 22, 2024
T0bil33:
How many weeks did u waited before you pick up ur passport, secondly how did u know ur passport was ready for pickup, were u sent an email or a text message that's ready?
my brother, I hate to say this but i have received no notification that my passport is ready. am being told that if i requested for the 64 page one i would have gotten it like with five days but the 32 pages one for first timers is limited. Strangely i did mine in Kaura, Abuja, their headquarters and someone who did hers in Gwagwalada received her 5 days later, she was notified (hers was renewal but her babys own too was new). In my case, zero. it even made me lose one strong contract like this that needed a passport. you can reach me on ////////k2mcee@yahoo.com/////
PhonesRe: Whatsapp Is Trying Hard To Kill Unofficial Whatsapp by Gabangel(m): 4:40am On Mar 16, 2024
creolehunt:
Thrilling features like what?

You do realise what you're using is a clone of another product and that the owners of the original product has every right to be aggrieved?

If the one you're using is so good, why can't the developers give it a proper name and market it as an independent product?
Lol. They cant market it independently. It reminds me of the time when an Egyptian made one of the best windows of that time, Windows XP3. It was far superior to any windows that came then, only windows 7 beat it. You are right on the aggrievance issue. But it cannot be marketed independently except they pay, or reach a beneficial agreement. By truth be told, most of these fake whatsapp beat the original hands down o. What they should have done, is review and make their ten times better, which I think they are doing now. With one whatsapp being able to register two lines, communities, channels and the likes. Still...
ComputersRe: I Buy Scrap and working Laptops (exchange Your Scrap Laptop For Money? by Gabangel(m): 11:06pm On Mar 12, 2024
Good day,
you still dey? I get scrap but am based in Abuja.
TravelRe: What I Think About The New Method For Applying For Our International Passport by Gabangel(op): 1:18am On Feb 12, 2024
deking:
The platform is good but the real issue starts after you book an appointment.

From my experience these are the huddles;
1. False claim that payment didn't drop.
2. Deliberate delay at the capture center for DIY folks.
3. Deliberate delay in treating the production of the passport of DIY people.

I believe the best way to resolve this is to stop /reduce the need to interact with immigration officiers as much as possible, outsource the capture process, or give them a target completion as basis to retain posting.
On the false claim part, I think, when you present your receipt, they do not use any device to check whether its true before letting you in. Unfortunately, its possible some officers might do some tricky stuff.
Then on the part of deliberate delay, where I went, we had a crowd. And someone said the last time he was there, the number was few so he was attended to in a more quickly fashion.
On the last one, I think I have to agree with you. Many people told me how they collected their passports after five days last year but now its turning to more than a week and I havent gotten mine. I think I would advice people to avoid the Head quarters, and go to states that has very few crowd issues. Benue and Niger have been known for quick output, but I don't know this time that everything is online.
Unfortunately when it comes to capturing, it should be the immigration officers, its like that everywhere...I think I agree with you that a target completion should be used but as you know, this is government stuff...they would be as slow as they choose too. Maybe outsourcing is a good thing after all. But its only here that I hear getting passport you applied for is like taking JAMB if you are not careful.
TravelRe: What I Think About The New Method For Applying For Our International Passport by Gabangel(op): 1:09am On Feb 12, 2024
Domainer1999:
@op, we're you asked for your Certificate of Origin at any point?
When coming to the online registration, towards the end, you are asked to upload birth certificate or declaration of age. Then the second one is like a letter confirming you are from a particular local government, something like a local government of origin... some say you can use state of origin and it would do. Mind you after the system, the people at the office would also vett it.
TravelRe: What I Think About The New Method For Applying For Our International Passport by Gabangel(op): 1:06am On Feb 12, 2024
IamCookie:
Kindly use "In case of necessity" next time.
My dear, if I may say... when last did you hear a learned Nigerian correct pidgin english? So if someone says... scattertrosphy, you would now say he should use "catastrophe". Please which country did you originate from, if I may ask?
TravelRe: What I Think About The New Method For Applying For Our International Passport by Gabangel(op): 12:23am On Feb 09, 2024
Cineinfo:
How much does it cost you?
Check through the website - (https://passport.immigration.gov.ng/).
I paid online for 32 pages, it was 36400. But if I paid through the bank, as in with cash; it would have been 35400. This is for fresh passport.
P.S. I get person wey do passport since 2019 and she never japa (na this year she wan renew am and come japa). To get passport no mean say japa sure, na in case of incasity. But the thing they help all this KYC things wey your foreign websites too dey ask of
TravelWhat I Think About The New Method For Applying For Our International Passport by Gabangel(op): 10:41pm On Feb 08, 2024
Well. In one word. Simple.
I went to immigrations online website, easy to google by the way. used my NIN that had no issues of validation registered online, checked for locations and their schedule date. The one problem I had was uploading a passport fotograf or my picture from my phone. It was either too much light or size too big. It was resolved by snapping outside in where no shadows were showing and making sure my ears show. The size matter was resolved by sending the picture to my whatsapp and redownloading it again. So the pix went from 3mb to 123kb. I got my schedule date online too. But whatever you do, becareful because some places you cannot reschedule your appointment date.
The issue of birth certificate can be resolved by Affidavit of a high court, or using that going to a Census office and applying for a letter of declaration of age or birth certificate if you are under the age of 18.
As per a first time applicant, I did not need to get a guarantors form or any other thing apart from my Appointment print out slip, my receipt and my application form the printed one from online. I came before my scheduled time of 12 and I was still allowed in. All I had to do when it was my turn was to give my finger print, signature, answer some questions and get a photography and that was all. I can even track my passport online and when it would be ready. The process was less than 10 minutes if not for the lines. I have seen no case where you need to pay anyone money except you want to jump the line else... you dont need to pay anything outside what you paid for your passport. Now I am waiting to see how long it takes to get my passport.
TravelRe: How To Print Your Guarantor's Form For Nigerian Passport Online by Gabangel(m): 10:18pm On Feb 08, 2024
udy4real:
It is directing me to Guarantors form page
This is old news, the present website has no place for guarantors form as a fresh passsport applicant.... that is as of January 2024, entering February
TravelRe: How To Print Your Guarantor's Form For Nigerian Passport Online by Gabangel(m): 10:16pm On Feb 08, 2024
Easybet1:
same here, please have you been able to print it? If yes, how
If you are applying for a new passport for the first time, there is no need to get a guarantors form or even physical copy of passport photograph. Just carry your application form and the form created for your interview and head to the Immigration office on the day you scheduled for yourself and the venue that you selected. In my case, it was HQ abuja and the timing was irrelevant, as I came by 10 instead 12 as my schedule said and i was still allowed inside. I left by 1.20... Line was much there.
CrimeRe: Bandits Shoot Two Soldiers, NSCDC Officer Dead In Benue by Gabangel(m): 11:35pm On Jan 21, 2024
God1000:
I will always tell you people the home and uncomfortable truth, you dislike me and my probity which I fully understand.

I condemn violence and terrorist activities anywhere it happens and whoever that is responsible for it, your problem is that you are blinded by religion, I support the oppressed people of Palestine and not Hamas as alleged.

I don't hate Israel, I'm 100% christian, I was born and raised in Methodist church but being a Christian doesn't mean I should support atrocities against women and children.

I only hate the current government of Benjamin netanyahu, Yair lapid was a great prime minister but Israelis rejected him and chose a warmonger.
In the space of over two years, over ten thousand (this is a very small number i assure you) rockets have been fired into Israel at Random. If not their technology and so called war mongering, Israel is supposed to be extinguished. I agree with you, that Israel does war mongering. Now here is the question I want to ask, how many rockets do you think is enough to finish off the local government of Otukpo, Gboko, Makurdi or anyone you can mention in Benue? And do you know that Israel is so small that you can use almost three days to walk round it? Now you expect a country not to retaliate, they should just seat and be waiting (no offence but violence is supposed to be only for the government) like Benue Citizens for the federal government or United Nations to intervene right? I doubt very much the number of rockets used in Ukraine and reach the number spent on trying to eradicate Israel. (By the way, I very much wish for outside intervention in the Benue case not our Federal Government). I hope you do not bring any story of the people fighting for freedom, because they are many nations around the world that were created like Gaza and West Bank and they did not fight their neighbours. They decided to grow and become better and not fire rocket and missiles at their neighbours. Pakistan, Bangladesh, South Korea, South Sudan, West Germany now fully Germany and the list goes on. And finally to show you that most of the people from the place you assume Israel is dealing with, are not nice - How many countries around Israel have offered them asylum...Lebanon no, Jordan (where they tried to kill the king) no, Egypt (they brought the real brotherhood not Nigeria Brotherhood o) Syria, Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia... None of these want people from the Gaza. Why?
SportsRe: Wayne Rooney Sacked As Birmingham Manager by Gabangel(m): 4:32pm On Jan 03, 2024
Badguy77:
The earlier clubs realize not all good players make good coaches the better for them.. Check Frank lampard, Steven Gerald and the rest..
leave Steven Gerald out of this one. He made Rangers FC formidable. Aston Villa had to pay money that Rangers should release him. Unfortunately, its his coaching as Aston Villa Coach did was his undoing.
FamilyRe: Should I Divorce Or Remain Subjected To This Punishment For My Infidelity? by Gabangel(m): 5:34pm On Nov 06, 2023
There is forgiveness and there is absolution. They can forgive you but absolving you of it, looks hard. The truth is, as much as you love your husband and kids, you have to separate from them. I did not say divorce, just separate from them. Find someone a friend or relative who you can be with till you can get a place of your own if possible. There is phone that you can call up your family when you can. For now staying with them is not going to help your peace. I understand the feeling because I have seen how a partner cheated on, complained that she cannot stand the sight of her husband neither can she accept his touch. Whatever you do, remember this, there is a future out there where they may want you back.
RomanceRe: Narrate Your Worst Kissing Experience by Gabangel(m): 4:10pm On Oct 11, 2023
Me, what can I say? the last time I kissed was the year 2000. Since then, person pikin go look me tell me say e no dey kiss because e no just like am. Then the last time (which was this year o, 23 years later) wey I for change this dry spell, mood been dey o, I come use style smell my mouth, I remember say I never brush teeth for the past two days... No be me go use my hand spoil my career. I just dodge the girl, do like say something dey worry me, come run from the room. Worse part, that day, I come dey find my toothbrush and toothpaste, e just miss, like say somebody bin plan for me.
PoliticsRe: Despite Huge Revenue, Lagos Local Councils Underperform, Worsen Residents’ Pains by Gabangel(m): 6:30am On Jul 15, 2023
Buddha3:
It is not an arguable fact that Lagos State has not seen measurable development that is befitting of her status as a commercial city with a basic economic yield that eclipses about 50 African countries. In a manner of speaking, the annual revenue being disclosed to the NBS is actually well under half of what Lagos makes in reality. And for a state with a small geographical landmass, housing the population equivalent of two to three Northern states, Lagos is immensely overburdened, reason the very oxygen there is toxic enough to reduce the life expectancy of an average Nigerian by 10years.

That being said, it is important to remind the likes of the OP and others who find delight in meddling with issues concerning Lagos, that there's the need for you all to "LET LAGOS BE"!

Leave Lagos State for Lagosians. Whatever problems and challenges the state has, should be of no concern(s) to you. If you see the need to live or work there, do it in relative peace and self-awareness. Stop bothering yourselves with issues of no positive consequences to your lives. Yorubas and other Lagosians like the city as it is. Do not complain on their behalf. By virtue of studies and published analysis, Lagos is adjudged to be a sinking city that has been predicted to be swallowed by the Atlantic ocean in about 50years. If and when that should happen, leave Lagosians to mourn the loss.

I see no sense in making Lagos state your headache when you're peacefully residing in a far away state. Personally, even if a gun is put to my head, I won't live or work in Lagos State cause of my sanity. I spent 3years of my young life over there and the lawlessness and arbitrary living standards are not for me. So y'all should learn to find peace within yourselves and leave Lagos alone!
is Lagos a part of Nigeria abi you are talking of a country called Lagos? I sort of think you dont realize that Lagos indirectly affects almost the entire Nigeria. Where do Major corporations have some of their headquarters apart from Abuja? infact the name commercial capital of Nigeria means what? The gridlocks at the ports and the delays in removing goods from the PORTS affect who? Even media narratives are most times masterminded from Lagos - abi Channels and TVC are hausa channels? Its like saying we should leave Abuja for the Gbabgyis and Abujites just because its what they want.

if that place is improved, Nigerias revenue can run into trillions. Its commercial nature is unlimited... sink or not
SportsRe: Ex-Man City footballer Benjamin Mendy Found Not Guilty of Rape by Gabangel(m): 4:46pm On Jul 14, 2023
turmacs:
That is a lie, heaven knows he tried to rape those poor ladies...All these Nigerian men that some how found their way to Europe and made one nonsense money, their preeq to dey stay one place tongue just like their useless and broke counterparts back here in Naija tongue spits on their bald heads...He must pay enough millions so that those ladies can go and receive mental health evaluation to free them from the trauma the konji infested guy has caused them
Did you know that it was actually Mendy and his brother that were taken to court? His brother was accused of rape but in his own case, he had both written and voice notes to defend himself that it was consensual. And they didn't even fine the girls that falsely accused him! I remember the same thing happened to Neymar, when it got too much, he displayed the whatsapp messages between him and the lady and all the lady could say was... why did he publish their conversation? What you don't notice is that Mendy actually had some chats but the persons prosecuting him, brought up the narrative that he induced the girls to his house. Someone that party is his second name and girls flow in and out. The final narrative the prosecutors brought was that despite all the notes and whatever, he at some point, when they were visiting him, forced himself upon despite their resistance. That's where the case fell apart...the prosecution through this accepted that the ladies actually WANTED IT and came to his house OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL to HAVE SEX! Not come and drink and walk away. The question remains, you visited a party freak animals house alone to do what? Greet his kidney?
TravelRe: After Over One Year In Ghana. by Gabangel(m): 8:57pm On May 14, 2023
Brokeness:
Pls mentor me sir
you for send me message na, or even email gabrielagema@gmail.com
TravelRe: After Over One Year In Ghana. by Gabangel(m): 10:38pm On Apr 25, 2023
There are many online skills you can learn that make you highly employable. As long as you have data.
First you can go online and apply for IT support in Coursera, either you pay 14k per month, or you apply for scholarship. You finish the course, you are qualified to work without a degree (as a computer personnel anywhere in the world). Then you have google Ad Video training... could almost take 2 months of training to do it, but when you are done, you apply on upwork to get jobs.
There are so many others, but the ones above are the ones, me as a person focused on. I ran away from the Google Ad Video Training, because it was taking too long (I practically read and sleep off), even when I noticed that on upwork, almost every Nigerian who had done the training the least amount of jobs I saw the person do was 4!
Anyway, this is my two cents, sorry two naira. And if you can, look for the book, the 4-hour week by Tim Ferriss, it would change your idea of work forever.
Christianity EtcRe: Kilifi cult: Kenya Police exhume 26 more bodies (Disturbing Photos) by Gabangel(m): 9:52am On Apr 25, 2023
WIZGUY69:
There’s something seriously wrong with Blacks worldwide. They are not even capable of ruling themselves. God! I’m not sure God created blacks themselves, Probably it’s a contract job to one of the low-tier angel.
Sudanese are busy killing themselves for some group of selfish foools in this 21st century.
Congolese are working themselves to death for below 50 cents per day.
Churches and mosques keep springing up in all nook and crannies of the continent.

Just take a look at these brainwashed motherfvckers sad
I hope you know something of this sort has happened in the west before. Remember the story of Guyana tragedy? Americans where involved and at its peak, a senator who went to investigate the issue was killed. Till today, its unbelievable what happened at Guyana, because it's white people kill themselves at the words of a whiteman. They drank poison in unison. This stuff is more than what you think.
BusinessRe: Share Your Cash Scarcity Experience by Gabangel(m): 10:21pm On Mar 12, 2023
moststylish:
who go feed you when you dey learn programming
You see that time that you use to facebook and do nairaland, commulatively can give you all the time you need to learn programming.
E even get online courses from coursera or linkedIn, or even youtube...
BusinessRe: "We Are Not Saboteurs" - ASSBIFI Seeks Safety Of Banks’ Staff, Property by Gabangel(m): 7:32pm On Feb 08, 2023
ERockson:
CBN is actually using propaganda against the commercial Banks. These Banks are being giving very little new notes to give to give to numerous customers.
Bros no be any propaganda. Its a normal thing to hear people sourcing for money for others from the bank at added costs. I get person wey e Oga bin need like 1 milla, na so they link this guy to one bank in Abj, and for that 1 milla, dem collect am 150K life. Infact, dem bin ask am, if e ok with the 150k or make dem... before dem talk finish, e dey tell dem say, anything dem wan do, make dey do, make dem jus give am 1 milla.
How you go send bank 350milla and e go only send 150milla to all e branches and keep the remaining?
Come ma area, na the muslim banks -Jaiz and that other flower one, dey try make money dey dey deir ATM always...union bank too. So you mean say, no be the same money wey CBN give the other ones? Abi Jaiz and Union bank own plenty pass?
The funny thing be say, this thing start since last year, na only becos of rush, wey the thing con show.
RomanceRe: Every Young Woman Out There Should Learn From Halima Abubakar by Gabangel(m): 11:32pm On Jan 23, 2023
BlackMan6969:
Kudos! Elon Musk.
my brother this thing you talk give me joy o. in Jesus name, Amen. I claim am.
FamilyRe: After Being Single For Soo Long, Im Now Scared Of Getting Married. Please Help!! by Gabangel(m): 11:25pm On Jan 23, 2023
EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands. angry

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm
I want to tell you something interesting. I discussed with a black american who told me he would never marry in this life or have kids because of what children are doing to their parents in the USA and their too much dependence on their parents even at an old age. We argued back and forth but he won. I forgot to tell him that am a product of a marriage where right from the age 5-7 I don dey see shege for my mama marriage. By 7, she don dey tell me and little sister everything that is happening about her marriage which was popsy was misbehaving. I spent my entire childhood to adulthood watching almost everyone of my uncles and aunties becoming a second wife or marrying a second wife. Some cases, they even had kids outside of wedlock and some cases they had kids from different men! or yeah and different women, in fact my maternal grandfather had more than 7 wives. I have seen a man who sold his house, later sold his wife's thing and after retirement, he looked for the wife and started staying with her again. There is so much to hate in Marriage... yeah, let me add the final one, I did not have sex since I was 39 (its not that i never had the chance, ah, there was plenty, i feel like beating myself over it)! and it would have been longer but I asked myself, do you one to be a 40 year old virgin? No! Maybe in another life i would let it be 50 or till I die.
But the fact is this.
If you are scared, do one thing to this your would-be husband; sit him down and tell him your mind on this marriage and everything you fear and hear what he would say... it may happen that he may say something that - not would change your mind; but put you at peace. What you need is peace of mind that whatever you are going to do would be right. Yes some people have said therapy, me I would say even add prayers and better prayer before you go meet your would-be husband.
Let me add this (ha which spirit enter me wey i dey talk plenty today); there are many things to hate in marriage and children but my dear, once you experience the love of a partner or a child; you can never remain the same. My prayer for you is to marry and have a child that you would love and love you back. And your husband would take care of you. In Jesus name, Amen. But if God means for you to follow the part of Paul our disciple who was not married; who am I to stop you or his will for you.
RomanceRe: Every Young Woman Out There Should Learn From Halima Abubakar by Gabangel(m): 3:47pm On Jan 23, 2023
BlackMan6969:
some women sef. Person offer you 5m for one night, fear no catch you. Men who make legit money, don't spend that recklesly
Don't be thinking like a poor person. you have the right to enjoy your money and spend it. And strangely man works so that he can eat, sleep, rest and enjoy life. One way to enjoy life as a man is...
or as the Tiv would say Ma Kwa, Kpa Kwa

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