₦airaland Forum

Efemena_xy: Why do I get the feeling that this story is incomplete?

Okay, you say your friend's been married for four years (which is a relatively short time), and is unhappy. Do you mean she's been unhappy right from the start of the union? Or later on? If she's been unhappy from the start, then I can't help but blame her.

Do you know why? It's because it shows she didn't study her man properly before leaping into marriage. People don't change certain traits over night. She ought to have noticed that her fiancee (then) didn't have the backbone to stand up to his family whenever they crossed the boundaries, concerning her. If she chose to overlook this weakness of his at the early / dating stage of their relationship, then she has no one to blame but herself.

If on the other hand, this problem reared its head recently, then she needs to carry out a self check and re-examine both hers & hubby's recent actions. Something must have happened to trigger off the recent trend of events. Whatever or where ever the problem might be stemming from, she needs to sit down with hubby and make him understand how unhappy she is. I'm guessing there might be some things happening in the marriage which her hubby isn't happy about AND as a result, he's been confiding in his family.

* Have they been having arguments of recent?
* Is their union blessed with kids? (if not, then that in itself could be a big contributor to the issues they have).
* Is she gainfully employed? ie, works for an employer / run her own business? What does she do? I'm trying to figure out why she needs househelps, and it might throw some light on the reason behind her mother-in-law's comment.

If this is the case, then him confiding personal issues with his family is wrong because while he might feel he's getting the support he needs, he's invariably turning his family against his wife. Something are meant to be strictly between man and wife.

Finally, walking out of a marriage "because my husband doesn't take my side", smacks of immaturity. That is the easy way out and doesn't solve the underlying issues with the union. @poster, advice your friend to have that heart-to-heart with her hubby. There are always two sides to a story.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't advocate she confronts his family (yet), especially his mum. Let her husband deal with that aspect.

elaine mia: @gemstone22

I would love to write but i don't know how and where to start from. Would be glad if you could give me a hand and some orientation too. For example, what is Ghost writing...

elaine mia: @gemstone22

I would love to write but i don't know how and where to start from. Would be glad if you could give me a hand and some orientation too. For example, what is Ghost writing...

babiyo: This is quite serious o and i need comments, contibutions, advice, observation etc.I am in my late 20s and getting married with a guy i love though with some flaws in few months time. Before accepting his proposals, no body came, i was single and wanted to get married. when this guy came along,i knew he loved me and he still do and i accepted his proposal and we are planning to get married, but the issue here now is that all when most of my male friends heard i was getting married, they all kept saying `Oh, i was about asking you out'. and i know they are quite serious, some have even stopped talking to me in the name of `i broke their heart' and that they were just waiting for a right time to ask. (though i really wished some of them had proposed earlier sha). but now my mind is made up and am setling down with my fiancee pretty soon. am happy with him but at times this crazy thoughts of -if i had waited, i would have had something better comes to my mind. pls, should i have still really waited, was i too in a haste? anyway, its quite too late now cos my mind is made up but at times guys can be funny sha.

pinkstar: I have a crush on this guy,but avoid seeing him,so i had a faulty work that i knew he was the right option in repairing it,while i left it with him to leave for home,a heavy & incessant rainful began,his colleagues adviced i slept in the office and go the next morning very early.I enjoyed their company,untill the guy came to keep me company,we began chatting well,when night fell and it was time to say goodnight.He held me and we began kissing passionately.I realised i wasnt with my date & push him away.My guilt was i kissed another guy who isnt my date,when i love my date so much,i feel i have betrayed him.My question is kissing this guy who isnt my date is it right and plain as the guy said,that his mind was clear and only wanted to say goodnight.

denzel2009: It's not possible to wear one pant for a month at a stretch cos of chaffing. Boxers can last 6 months before feeling water.

Mcval: The views of all d ladies on dis thread only strengthens my resolve never to marry a nigerian lady. 'Why?' you may ask. I've always bn d type dat treats women with respect, seeing relationships/marriage as 50-50. I've done d cooking atimes, fetched water 4 dem, etc but, I bet u at d end of d day they'll take u 4granted. I'm speaking from experience, so guyz make your money, go look 4 a latina chick n get married 2. At least d south americans still have values unlike our cheap, money hungry, ego tripping naija women. Gosh! they r so awful! Let dem become lesbians n marry demselves. They are so fake!

Blackteeth: A lot of us attend night clubs and meet people there. In night clubs there is enough light around to see everyone's faces in satisfactory details, so no problems. But what about situations and places at night where there is not enough light to see that lady or guy in good details as you suspect there may be something special about him or her? Well, for some guys it may not be an issue as long as they see an outline of a figure eight and a well protuding front and backside. On the other hand, how would some guys deal with the fact that they cant be fully sure there are no widespread spots and pimples on the lady's face?
For the ladies, it wouldn't be a problem to some ladies as long as he emerged from a flashy ride and has an arsenal of english vocabularies. For the other ladies who bother, how would they deal with the fact that they cant be fully sure if he has the lips and eyes of their favourite American male model?

Anyway, some weeks ago as I was walking to a certain place at night, a girl approached me to give her directions to find her way. I told her to walk along with me since I was moving towards the direction she asked for. As we were moving I asked her where exactly she was going to by that time of the night and it formed the core of our discussion. She sounded sweet in voice and reasoning. But the problem was the insufficient light to assess her facial and buddy aspect. For this reason, when we finaly got to the point to part ways, I brushed aside any intention of asking for her contact. Besides I didnt want to appear like am taking advantage of the fact that I helped her find her way.

Nigeria is a nation of darkness without much electricity and I know most posters on Nairaland are Nigerian residents. So I hope this thread would help them deal with toasting in darkness.

Over to the next poster.

Sisi_Kill: To Seun
I think if you are going to put a QUESTION MARK after a topic, then it doesn't belong on the front page.

I understand the clicks generate income but there's gotta be a line drawn on what kind of topics you use to generate those clicks. Putting unconfirmed news about someone's death just is a NO NO.. . no if and or buts about it. Even the seediest of bloggers know THAT much.


To self
Why am I wasting my time sef. It's not like he listens to anyone.

Back to Seun
Don't Ban me but if you are, just gimme 10 mins head start lemme quickly create new user names. . .you can do that much, can't ya?

Now which user name have I not used. . .

Baby_Sisi

Jinxy_Sisi

Jinx_Baby

Sisi_Baby (Ayanma )

prettyG: Lagos State sacks all striking doctors

Over 1,000 doctors have been let go


The crisis rocking the Lagos State health sector took a dangerous twist on Monday, when the state government sacked over 1,000 doctors in its employ.

Doctors in state-owned hospitals, under the aegis of the Medical Guild, began an indefinite strike on April 24, 2012, to press for the downward review of taxes and the full implementation of the Consolidated Medical Salary Scale (CONMESS), and other demands.

Confirming the development, the secretary of the Medical Guild, Idris Durojaiye, said the information was passed across to the doctors through the medical directors of the various state hospitals.

"The medical directors signed the letters," he said.

However, the doctors will be holding a press conference to decide their next line of action.

Last month, the state government announced that it had started recruiting new doctors to help alleviate the plight of residents seeking medical care in state-owned hospitals.


Source

lefulefu: golddigger

acidtalk: i hope you ladies arent just reading but also learning.
if you follow these rules, most of you single ladies that are still yet to marry will get married by this time next year.


i need people to share their experiences on how they lost their partner due to the above reasons

lefulefu: oya naija babes in da house be honest in answering this question.una go fit love una man without him spending expensive gifts or huge amount of money on una?una go fit fall in love with a man if he no get about eight cars for im garage and if na one old tortoise car na im he dey use dey para for town?

steph7: Hi gemstone, its an old topic, we aren't together anymore.

steph7: Hi NLders,
My bf loves me very much, but the problem I have is that he says I'm too ambitious and he doesn't like that in a woman. He says I'm rude any time, I try to tell him how he has hurt me even when I'm obviously not rude. He doesn't like listening to my opinions, even when he pretends 2, he does what he feels is rite, even when my suggestion is better. I feel he doesn't trust me esp when I got a job offer and he claimed I must av had an affair with the man offering me the job 4 me 2 get it.
He is waiting for my answer on the marriage issue, NLders. With all these issues I'm not sure if I can marry him, what do u think nlders