₦airaland Forum

Romeo, that's EXACTLY the point I'm trying to figure out


@ibkaye: Why?

Fhemmy, you've not said how you'd react

Ife, are you sure you can surpass a woman in tongue-lashing? You think she'll keep quiet while you lambast her? I tell you, you can NEVER conquer a woman with that because the exchage of words will continue until people begin to blame you for "talking like a woman"

Oh, sistawoman is here. I guess my time is up. Take care, goodluck!

Seriously, this shouldn't cause so much uproar. A bird in hand, they say, is worth two in the bush. Why the rush, if he's just a year away from bagging a degree? (Well, except he's studying Medicine). If I was in his condition, I would do the same thing There are plenty of schools in Canada and elsewhere that accept international students for postgraduate studies if you can pass their entrance exams. So I don't think that should be a problem.

Then it's a simple case. What excuse did he give his uncle, cos he definitely has a good excuse: finishing his current programme (just as his mother said). He could tell tell him that that'll be much better and easier for him than going to start all over again. And he should add that he'll do his masters programme in Canada. That should be able to pacify his uncle. Looking at his present status, I think it's better he completes his Bachelor's here

By the way, since you say his mother supports the idea of staying to finish his UNIBEN programme, why is she unhappy with him?

Guys, I need your views

Does he have a very good relationship with his mum? If yes, he could confide in her about the issue and they could finetune the arrangements in such a way that no one will be negatively affected. They could arrange that you go with him or join him as soon as possible. But that's ONLY if he can confide in his mother. Otherwise, it might be counterproductive

I guess an average Indian wife owns the husband as they pay grooms price right?

Doesn't she? Isn't that why she can practise polyandry?

But the question is still not answered. What's the significance of the bride "price"

And that's all you could offer?

I think I have a clearer understanding of the situation now.

So now, NIGERIAN ladies, when does your "no" mean NO!!! LOL

What's the expected duration of the overseas' programme? If it's a year or two, I don't think that should affect your relationship, if you truly love each other. The decision you're taking now could have grave consequences later. You guys should put emotions aside and think deeply about the issue. What are the pros and the cons of his going abroad? What are you really scared of?

Okay. But what do you think of my previous post:

"Truth is, men have been made to believe over the years that women loved to wooed over a period of time before agreeing to date a man." 

The man who persist after your first "no" may not necessarily be an idiot. He may be having the same mentality as stated above. And there's no way he could have known that you don't follow the "wooing/playing hard to get" rule, since many women only say "yes," after many attempts by a man

But what if you're actually a bad cook? Sorry, just wondering. Are you sure it's not about your cooking?

Really? That means you're of the school of thought that a woman should first say no (if she's interested), but there should be a "but"?

Actually I believe in the "wooing" thing too; but, unlike you, not all women who want to be wooed add "but" to their "no." In fact, some could sound hostile; yet they crave being wooed. So any other indications that a lady wants you to try harder, apart from the instance you gave? Because without knowing the signs, you might just misinterprete her response

The problem, the root of the problem and the one complaining are all one. What a nuisance!

@ Poster, who owns ur wife, your father or her father?

I just wonder why people make much ado over nothing. Is it not better to admit ignorance than to get bitter and hysterical over a simple question? The question is, what is the significance of the bride price? I stated my view, based on what "price" denotes, and I expected you to provide a better explanation if you have any. Instead, it's all rants! Na waoh

Anyone with a reasonable explanation, please?

Luxoire, so any man who tries again after getting a "no" from you is an "idiot"?

Truth is, men have been made to believe over the years that women loved to wooed over a period of time before agreeing to date a man. Many women believe saying "yes" immediately is a sign of desperation


Sistawoman, what's there to discuss after saying "No"?

Truth is sometimes bitter; but it must be told. Leave the world of wishes and fantasies and face REALITY! Even if you grieve from now till eternity, you will NEVER have a chance with your dead fiance again. What you get, instead, is a multpilication (and complication) of your travails, just as you're currently experiencing. So accept what has happened and see how to make the best of what you have at hand, your loving husband and two lovely kids.

Moreover, you should also not be too focused on yourself that you forget the interests of others, your husband especially. Put yourself in his shoes. Think of how you'd feel if a man who voluntarily agreed to marry you refused to show you love or care about your feelings simply because of a dead fiance. It's totally unfair. If you feel you can never let go of the dead man, then let go of the living man. Everything shouldn't be about YOU. He deserves to be happy too!

Got your point, Ife. But you've not answered my question

What would you do if a woman gave you a hot slap over an argument?

well i want to believe when she says no, it means no.

Izeek, so what if she's just "playing hard to get" and wants to know if you're serious?

@ Whitelexi, that's sarcasm, right?

Biola, talk (abi na type) not wink!

I need tips, ladies!

Is she even hiding behind the Scriptures? No, she's hiding behind ignorance and selfishness. She said the Scriptures only mention "submission." Submission of what? Yourself, excluding your resources? Rubbish!

And where are the guys?

Be MAN enough to say your mind!

Hauwa, what exactly would you have told her?

And i guess the reason people supported the lady's action probably stems from the fact that the guy was a bus Conductor, hence was in a lower class of hierachy than she was, naija peeps sha

That could be one of the reasons. But I think the major reason why some women refuse to criticise a woman that's having issues with a man (even when she is clearly in the wrong) is the fear of being seen as a "betrayer of the sisterhood." And why some men do it is the fear of being seen as a "woman-hater." Everyone wants to be called a "gentleman," by hook or by crook

A woman (whether yours or someone else's) gave you a HOT slap over an argument? 

I need your CANDID opinion, please

Reason?

I was on a bus recently and a debate ensued between a woman and the bus-conductor (a full-grown man). All the passengers knew the woman was in the wrong. But at a point, the woman insulted the guy and he replied her, and next thing I heard was a thunderous slap on the guy's face. (Man, it was HOT!  ). Impulsively, the guy decided to retaliate but the passengers, mostly women, shouted at him not to try it. "You know, she's a woman!!" they warned. The guy reluctantly let his arm drop. And the woman, feeling justified by the "support," kept yelling at the guy. The few male passengers were indifferent. They seemed to be thinking, just like myself.

What was I thinking? Seriously, as I watched the guy's humiliated countenance and his reddened, tear-filled eye (it seemed one of the woman's fingers did the damage), I couldn't help asking myself some questions:

(1) What would I do in this man's case?
(2) Even if I was "gentlemanly" enough not to retaliate, how would this woman know that what she did wasn't right when everyone's criticism
was directed at her victim?
(3) Why do people by their actions, inactions and reactions keep giving women the impression that IT COULD BE RIGHT FOR A WOMAN TO HIT A MAN BUT IT'S NEVER RIGHT FOR A MAN TO DO SO? Should bad temper and violence be condoned for either of the sexes?

Over to you, friends

You should be glad, buddy; the lady get plenty of "issues"

Women are wonderful creatures, aren't they? 

Sometimes when a guy keeps "chasing" a lady after she has repeatedly turned down his advances, you might hear her say, "Some men can be so annoying!!! I just don't understand why this guy keeps pestering me even when I've told him over and over again that I'm not interested. What's his headache?!!!"

At another time, when another guy decides to let her be after the initial refusal, you might hear the same lady say, "Not that I didn't fancy him. I just I wanted to know if he was serious. If he was, he should have tried harder."

Hmmm. . .So, how does a guy know when your no means NO, and when it means TRY HARDER!?