₦airaland Forum

AllDModsAreMaad:
Hi People,

I decided to create this post to know if there are others experiencing same thing I am experiencing.

This year will make it two years that I have been planning to settle down without settling for a lady.
It is either they piss me off with one thing or I will just lose interest in them for issues that I would have overlooked few years ago.
Those that show me love and care are not what I'm searching for(in my own view), despite my harshness towards them at times they are still there showing the love and care some times secretly without leaving.

Now, I understand that popular line "Women are many and everywhere, it when you want to marry that you will know that women are scarce."

I initially wanted to opt for BabyMama but that path is a no-go area for many reasons.

I have decided to tell my people to get me one if they can next year because I am tired of searching.

Married men in the house, how did you settle for your partners?

Single guys, how una dey cope?

my friend, I understand what you are saying . Give yourself a break from the search. relax the tempo. Infact, stop worrying about who , when and how it wil come.
Not that you should be docile or non chalant about finding a woman but dnt allow the obsession of your search keep bothering you.

It is when you go silent and still that's when some of this things we desire in life miraculously comes . Not just it coming but it comes effortlessly. it comes without you struggling to get it.

Not that you don't put some little effort in that direction . You will definitely but dont throw all your resources into it to get it.

It's very good we take action in issues that concern us so that we get results but paradoxically there are som things it takes the divine to actualise in our life not hinged on the action we took or dint take. marriage is one of them.

I mean searching and following the right process of bringing a woman into your life(as wife) not d wrong way of getting a random gal preg and she ending up as a wife of circumstance. you can call her a situational wife. marrying her because she got preg for you.

Adam was busy doing sometin else. it was God that directed eve to Adam. Keep engaging ursef with wateva is noble that is keeping you busy.

Take a break from your worry. Don't allow your age or the passage of time put you in worry Nd impatient mood.

You are not doing badly weather you tink loneliness or boredom is killing you. If others share their own experience to you. you will understand that yours is beta.

The woman with a reasonable amount of spec you desire in the first place is what the divine will direct or bring towrds you.

Am not jst sayin this. It has worked for me and so many other testifiers.

Magnumproperty:
The major reason I recommended Income Protection plan from casava.co but nairalanders didn't even read my post maybe it's too lengthy or jam packed.

I sent you a mail sir

Magnumproperty:
I created this thread in response to an earlier thread about men who earn below N100,000.
If you earn below N100,000 in Lagos, you can actually manage yourself especially if you have a very understanding wife. And if you are single you need to discipline yourself and cultivate the habit of saving. I might not be able to breakdown how I manage my little income as someone has earlier done that in another thread. I will only be sharing those services I discovered and I have been using to manage myself and my family.
I actually earn below N100,000. I just got a job on the island not quite long as the pay on the mainland isn't anything to write home about.
I love searching for information online. Below are some services I use in managing my life and family.
My net salary is N70,000. My wife's salary is N60,000. Though she just joined me on the island with our son not quite long. And I just got the job for her not quite long.
*Lagos Health Insurance Scheme for the family: N40,000 per annum.( A very good health insurance plan by the Lagos State government. I did this for my family since the organisation I work for doesn't have a family HMO but a personal one. It covers the whole family. And it's just N40,000 per annum.
*I discovered a device insurance firm called 'getgamp'. [/b]You can check them out on Google. I intend to insure my phone with them. Though I'm yet to do business with them as I'm planning to get another phone as this one I'm currently using is an outdated Gionee phone. When you insure your phone against damage and theft you are rest assured that you don't have to tamper with your little income in other to repair or buy another smart phone as far as you pay your premium.
*[b]HealthCash benefit with casava: i have an healthcash plan with an online microinsurance company called 'Casava'. This plan doesn't cost me more than N200 per month. Incase one has a minor accident, the holder will be reimbursed a maximum of N20,000 for hospital treatment. I made a claim and I was surprised they paid me in less than 5 hours after submitting all necessary documents.
*Income protection plan with casava: I'm in the process of completing my registration. With this plan, if one is sacked from work you will be paid for the next 6 months before you get another job. I recommend this for every salary earner out there to also key into this plan. Your boss can just wake up one day and do something funny, with this plan the microinsurance company will continue to pay you for the next six month till you get another job. This plan isn't more than N1200 per month
Oxford buildbay: this is a real tech company. You can download the app from playstore. You can buy land from them and pay daily, weekly or monthly from the comfort of your home. I have an account with them also. As soon as you make upto half of the total payment, you will receive your allocation. Though their cheap lands are in not too developed area. I key into one of the cheap lands. Though if God pick my call I will buy property on the island also but for now one doesn't need to wait. You can pay as low as N250 daily.

These are the services I use for myself and family in order to manage my little income. Irrespective of your low income some of these services might be of help. Health has been covered, anything that has to do with our smart phone will be covered, job protection plan has been covered, becoming a landlord has been covered.
If you have any question concerning some of these services you can drop them below this thread. I will be glad to attend to them.
Tbh it's not easy as a family man with the present economy. And we shouldn't limit ourself to salary work alone. We should try to add other legit side hustle.
I don't mind if anybody can sow a seed of any average smart phone in my life as the Huawei I was using packed up some months ago. Please don't call me beggy beggy oooo ���

I sent you a mail. I need clarification on income protection plan

victooman:
groom a human being to ur taste? it doesn't work that way bro let her discover herself and her true identity,, when u meet her in her full adulthood if she matches what u want then u guys settle,, don't ever try to groom any human being it doesn't always end well

It depends on the approach you use to go about it. It all boils down to the kind of person the bride is.
The qtn is:.
Is she open to learn new things?
Is she teachable?
Is she flexible and not difficult to reason with?
Is she SM1 that takes to correction?
Is she SM1 that is sees you as her leader?
Is she SM1 that understands that you both are partners but recognizes you as her "boss in the home" that has the final in decision making?
Is she putting effort on her own to grow and develop herself through hunger for knowledge?

Tboymessiah:
NasoLifeBe!!!

What of:
Male 32
Female 23

9 years different we still dey advice de guy sey de girl small e no gree

the age difference is not much. most of diz single ladies in their 40's won't bait an eyelid to marry a 60yrs oldman.
They wouldn't like to marry down say a man of 30yrs

I got sunk into this series as I read tru. it's a good read. kudos

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

oga sir, you don't transfer the sin of the mother to that child. Fine, the mother acted without considering the Dota.
For you to say because the mother left without his permission absolve him of takin care of his own Dota is wrong.

Na the father and mother get issue not the daughter. Even if he refuse to send upkeep to the wife such decision shouldn't affect the Dota's welfare.

Trustedapparel:
Have u suck her clitoris b4? Have u giving her Anal sex b4? If yes, the other nigga is better in that areas than u ...... If no,try it and see ur girl chasing u like flies. If a girl commit abortion for u , she tend to bond with you more.... Mr man go and work on ur performance

Is your assertion medically proven dt if a gal commit abortion for you she tends to bond more wit the man. convince us

Tfare from point A to point B in some route within Lagos is killing. trekking don be the norm

Mom007:
Better do your calculations well. Nigerians think everything is about money... Time no? Stress no? Peace of mind no? Better don't rake a job that will burn you out in a few months then u loose both ways. Stick with your Mai land job until something better comes along. 30k incentive is too poor to make such a drastic switch. Besides, do that your calculations again o... 20k/month transport expenses in a day... In Lagos..? Adonbelievit!

he dint add feeding xpenses aside the 20k.
He will be denied good sleep and lack of good sleep affects ones health.
the stress sef fit no make the 150k show for him body because of the plenty stress.

victooman:
will u marry her? you that you are serious? because husband is scares? so can l connect both of you for marriage or u just want to be stupid?

Youngman , calm down. You drop a.post asking for advice but your reply to what some.pple are saying is too aggressive and confrontational.

even if one or two persons opinion sounds harsh or unpopular to you, stil calm down. Despite some response sounds blunt bt if you look deeper, there is some truth in wat they are telling you.
You sound too authoritative Nd strong headed. Hope say your leadership style if you nd dis woman begin live for huz no go dey too authocratic.

You appear too narrow minded . We all as human are unique and understand things in from our various experiences nd see things differently.
Relax Nd learn

person when come out for mkt square to ask for help no dey run mouth.

Prettygirl200:
Guys am heart broken I am honestly i am. Have been in the relationship with this guy for six months now, I trusted him I gave him my heart. His ex squandered everything he had with him and left him when he was broke, she went back to the street as she is into hookups and all I entered his life and things started growing again, whenever he has she will come back once he is broke she will run away.
I have been faithful to him, just yesterday his friend called me secretly to tell me she came back for over one week they have been living together and he has been having sex with her, I couldn't control my tears as I found it hard to believe.This morning I decided to go there as early as 7am only for me to see my bf with his ex cuddling I felt a sharp pain in my heart and it felt as if I should just die ,this was a girl that humilated and abandoned him for another guy, Have been crying as i felt dejected I don't deserve this my ex who took my virginity cheated on me, now it's repeating itself?? Am too young for this kind of strong heartbreak somebody should come nd hold me pls am down!!!!

On the 12th of may 6:34pm you drop a msg here that ur desperately in need of a bfrnd dt he must be tall,rich,handsome Nd u said you dnt mind if he Hz body count bt not more Dan 3.

Is it the person u screen during ur interview Nd gave the job for the role of bfrnd that Hz all the qualities you listed shattered you or another person in that Delta state.

even the lead aspirants for the duo of Tonto dike and funke Akindele are not serious. Look at the deputy they are pairing up wit.

ThreeEyedRaven:
The list was going well till it got to Rivers and should I also say Lagos
The River’s is a laughable farce
The Lagos is the height of unreadiness

I just dey burst laff for here.

MsJackson:
Hello guys. Straight to the topic. In my eight years of marriage, he has never taken me out. I look good and dress well, i even have toasters outside. I am very faithful to him. I actually envy couples that go to outing, take pictures, create memories with their loved ones, but his own is different. Whenever i bring it up, he starts talking about this responsibility and the other one. I even told him that we should add money together just incase he doesnt have much, but he refused. I want to experience it and also want my 5 year old daughter to experience it too but she has never. He promised me that if i take in, he would take me out. It happened and he gave excuses until i forgot it. He then said wen i put to bed, we will go out. We never did. Even we dont celebrate anniversary because he doesnt want to spend anything. Na by force i dey take buy pepper meat and drink bitter just to mark the day. There was a day his friend offered to take me out in his presence. He didnt say anything. When it was almost evening time and I reminded the friend, if u see the way my husband shouted that i was long throat and that its ojukokoro that will kill me. I was so embarrassed. Now we are not on talking terms since yesterday because I reminded him about this outing issue, he said that with me, he knows he will never progress because I was an enemy of progress. Please i am dying of boredom and I cant go out with another man because he will get angry. Please is this stinginess or wat?
PS : he dishes soup for me because he counts meat in the pot. I dont steal meat ooo

You are nt the only one experiencing such. most introverted husbnd are like dat. they are very calculative as regards spending.
Not that they are stingy but they see spending outside the basic stuff the home needs as wasteful.
Ironically, most of them wil give generously to feedin , school fees payment, huz rent and oda inevitable expenditure for running the family but channeling money for pleasure or fun is not their thing.
A snr colleague at wrk said he hasn't taken his wife out since they got married .weda eatery or beach or any oda fun place.he doesn't celebrate her birthday even sayin it on social media is a no for him. same wit d children. He doesn't take dem out.
when I ask him, why? He said he sees it as a waste of money. I countered him dt it is wrong. He strongly insisted dt he wil not do odawise. I shake my head when he refuse to yield.
As odas have advice, draw happiness from within. take ursef out. leave him at home to his boredom.

madjune:
It's hard for a serious minded lady to trust a handsome guy.

If not handled well, it will prove quite challenging in marriage.

I'm a living experience.

youngman,how true is your assertion? is ur view standing for year 2022 or 1995? are you saying they now catwalk into the arms of an ugly brother. Don't you see them list out "he must be handsome" in the spec.

presently, there is no direct brt bus from ikorodu to festac.
Just take the normal bus from ikorodu to oshodi. Then from oshodi, take a bus to mile2. Before you get to mile2, stop at second rainbow or estate or jakande or fatgbems b/s and from ther connect festac. Na so I dey run the road

22 is her searching age. they are always either 21 or 22 and sometimes 23.

JooEeL:
I don't want to sound condescending but this Edo language is one of the least loved languages by me. It just sounds somehow.

However, I love Edo people.

Who are the panelist dat sits to say which language sweet or wc one no sweet? what indices did you use to conclude your judgement?

Lawan is stylishly accepting the fact that he is not going go get the ticket. But delegates should choose wisely

McKay12:
"In case you feel frustrated at anything and you are airing your frustration here and there, or a transfer of aggression or frustration, the Church is not your place for transferring frustration and aggression. We are willing to help you if you have so much bitterness, so much frustration and so much distraction in your life and you don’t know where to vent it but in situations like this, we can help you"


I don't really think this statement here is necessary, anyway, may her soul rest in peace.

Yea, it wasn't necessary. The tone of this portion of his explanation sounds as if he is directing his disgust and anger at SM1 accusing him of been negligent durin the crisis as her pastor.

Chequeen:
There are about 8 legit avenues I can introduce you to, they involve learning high-paying digital skills and charges appy but with commitment and consistency, the return on your investment will be very high.

Interested?

Private message me for a free introduction on them

what are they? am interested

madamjay:
Xend Finance is a financial platform that helps you save your money in dollars to protect your money against inflation and devaluation. When you save in dollars, as the dollar increases - the value of your savings increases. Xend Finance also gives you up to 15% annual interest on your savings.

Click here to Download the Xend Finance app: https://xendmobile.page/nairaland and get $1 to start saving!

Watspp 08094943690 let's talk

madamjay:
Xend Finance is a financial platform that helps you save your money in dollars to protect your money against inflation and devaluation. When you save in dollars, as the dollar increases - the value of your savings increases. Xend Finance also gives you up to 15% annual interest on your savings.

Click here to Download the Xend Finance app: https://xendmobile.page/nairaland and get $1 to start saving!

Tell me more abt xend finance. 08094943690 watsapp

davien:
I'd rather talk on them here bro(learnt a lesson relating with people live)

The safest ways to make money in crypto right now are ;

1. Through Stablecoins
2. Through exchanges
3. Delegating to new blockchains
4. Selling gaming nfts

I do all 4 from late 2020 and my life changed. Highest I can give is that for stablecoins staking go to coingecko and search through exchanges with score of 5 and above, register, verify, compare their rates and save accordingly.

If you want to buy a crypto with a lot of upside potential and little risk, buy a staking coin that's tied to an exchange and use it to farm more coins/money.

Delegating to new blockchains like atom, Juno, Osmo etc grants you airdrops worth millions(Google it for yourself)

Then NFT games like gods unchained I've made money while playing their card games and selling unique cards I unlock plus they airdropped millions(in naira terms) late last year.

Peace out and good luck.

@harpahrah(no vex, I don't get in touch with people anymore).

Davie, chat me up let's tallk08094943690

emmadejust:
Branch Nigeria is sure 100% ...

20% interest ... Paid every monday .

Tell me abt branch Nigeria. Chat up08094943690

raymondhillmimi:
The OP is a mumu, ave been making decent side hustle money with the cosmos ecosystem for quite some time now, osmosis used to be over 100% APY and I wish I had staked it earlier. Even if the OP wants to play it safe USDT is the best way to go but No! She shut the door against crypto. Some people and their mindset self.

tell me abt cosmo ecosystem nd osmosis. Chat up08094943690

08094943690

Your worries:
1. You are 30yrs
2. Unmarried
3. Unhappy on your job
4. You want to have a career change

If diz are ur concerns, wat abt a female friend that I know that is 47years old, unmarried , doesn't have a job dt also implies there is no career change for my jobless female friend.

The truth is dis,ur not a grateful person.
you are far beta off Dan millions of Nigerians within ur age bracket.
Go and swap position with the 29yrs old guy living wit his 60yrs old father doin teaching job dt earns possibly less Dan 40k let him tell you the meaning of wt it means not to be happy.

Penguin2:
I guess your “little” way is not enough for your wife and her parents except they have something else against you.

Another thing I’m seeing is that you married someone you love and not someone that loves you.

Possibly you were led by her beauty and you sadly ignored the absence of mental connection between the both of you which is what has gotten worse now.

I don’t know what happens between you and your wife from here, but when next you are looking for a wife to settle down with, make sure she’s your gist mate.

Make sure you guys have the same world view; same convictions about life.

Make sure the woman genuinely cares about you and not somebody you chased for years.

Beauty should come distant last.

wt u said is part of the whole reason that led dis man to where he is ryt now. Dt is if he will admit.

He is a nice good man doin all d giving and loving while he was dating her. wheneva she was wrong , na d man go beg her make she stay maybe because she beautiful. He doesn't want to be hard on her nd call her to order the way a MAN shud do over his woman.

He was ignoring and overlooking her idiosyncrasies tinkin if she leaves d relationship, I may not be able to get anoda woman probably he felt I am advance in age to get marid. I dnt want to start all ova lookin for anoda woman.Dt is scarcity mindset.

Anoda reason, he wrongly assume that "I have money so I can control the woman" while he was weak mentally. He wasn't tough. He wasn't hard. He wasn't authoritative. He doesn't understand how to scold a woman in-between loving her. Most women wil succumb to a man if the man has some some of authority ova her. I dnt mean beat her or be harsh on her.

she is deliberately doin ALLL dis to you to see what you will do. How you will react or handle her.
Your leadership skill in d home is not strong. Work on it sir.
Oga, you are d head of dt house. Go back to your home and take charge.!

Your concerns as you claim:
AGE
BODY SIZE
VOICE

All diz are not rilly the issue. Your mind is what you need to wrk on. In summary, you have a low self esteem.

What you need to do specifically.
1. build your confidence level
2. work on ur gait(how you carry ursef wen you walk)
3. take the focus off yoursef. dnt be conscious of how u look or sound.
4. when pple tease you,dnt allow it bother you.
5.be very assertive and audacious when it's necessary.

Even wit dt ur small voice, if ur very articulate and eloquent,pple will want to listen when u communicate.

me writing you actually have a small body frame but na my gait I dey use dey make up. I have pple under me I supervise at workplace.

Emir8:
What of if you proposed and the parents say no. You have to seek the consent of the parents before proposing. This pastor is a fake one. Foolish talk

nooo. You are not seeking the parents consent bfor proposing. It's you and their daughter dt wil agree or not.

we all are raised from diff homes. each family/home we come from have their own principles and values they choose to adopt or follow or the way they do their thing.
For a conservative(strict) kind of family,the pastors opinion maybe right for such type of family as it applies to the way they do things. so dt the family will know who their daughter is attached to. more like security reason and a sense of commitment nd seriousness on d man's side. Dou you can stil take an intendin marriage partner home wit d above reason in mind nd after proposal, it may not still lead to marriage.

While in a liberal(warm and jolly kinda)family, the pastors opinion may not necessarily count. The gal may take the man home as her guy even bfor proposal. since she knows nd understands how her family relate well with visitors.they may welcome the man as human first and as a frnd to their daughter nd may nt necessarily dig deep to ask their daughter if d man Hz propose or not.

They are some ladies dt even invite the guy home even bfor proposal.

The kind of family is wat in most cases determine ow the order should be.