₦airaland Forum

nedekid:
Work ethics maybe? Seems when you have a bunch of Nigerians things go south. He obviously does not want his Eg refinary going the way of Nigeria owned refinaries, Nigeria Airways, nigerdoc etc.

It is not just work ethic but basic honesty. Have Nigerians in charge and they will ruin the entire facility with brazen theft, ethnic bigotry and unnecessary infighting. So, let the Indians, Filipinos and Chinese run the facilities. So far it is working, fine by me.

cc: englishmart

ednut1:
Interest rate plus diesel cost plus low purchasing power. Nawa

Get a loan from a Canadian bank. What is the interest rate over there?

Fujiyama:
^^^
Things ARE tough.

For the first time in my life I am beginning to question (ever so slightly) whether representative democracy can work in this country.

We have a huge mass of people living hand to mouth, not sure of where the next meal is coming from. It isn't likely such people will make sensible political choices. Unfortunately it seems as if things will get even worse.

You wey be big man dey complain?

G12:
What kind of business?

LOL!

No one would tell you what they are making money from for free. Except the person is your close friend. My advice is to search for what people are willing to pay which has a standard global price.

004gist:
Most Nigerians have seen that came 10 to 15 years ago.. Are mostly carears... Mental nurse.... Working in health sector.
Hardly see them in finance, government ministry etc

I am curious, is this prevalent in London or this is outside London? What about second-generation Nigerians? Those who their parents moved to the UK during the 90s and were either raised from an early age or born and bred in the UK. What do their current career trajectories look like?

Gamesmart:
I am telling you the truth.

And even if I was not, you can not compare back in the day to today.
This is quite a lame point.

It is like me telling you that people in Denmark live a better life than Nigerians, and your response is that "Those living in Banana Island are better off than people in Denmark".

Dangote is free to have 100 children, that does not make it okay for you to have 8 .......except you are telling me you are an ED of a Tier 1 Bank.



It is surprising many Nigerians (especially the stuupid pastors) talk about being a married man and raising a family makes one "mature" and "responsible".

In sensible reality, a responsible man (or woman) should only bring a child into the world if this man has reasonably secured a means and long-term path for taking care of the child to at least a socially competitive level. Being responsible is not just by procreating. Wild beasts can do it too.

What is socially competitive?

Socially competitive is when one can reasonably compete in his or her world to be able to live at least an average middle-class life with no-to-minimal suffering.

So, for every child a responsible person creates, he or she must have secured a means and long-term path for taking care of the child to live a good life.

What does it cost to almost ensure that a child in Nigeria today grows up to be prepared for the world of the future, be competitive and live a good life?

The parents have to be able to provide the following:

- A nice and secure roof over their heads. There should be no need to worry too much about insecurity and they should be able to mix with decent humans that have prospects from a young age. So, if you live in Lagos, you should ideally be living in neighbourhoods like Surulere, Festac Town, Yaba, Ajah or neighbourhoods above these standards.

- You should be able to send them to schools that would prepare them well for the future. Now, public schools in Nigeria are nothing to write home about, so you are looking at decent private schools like St. Gregory’s College, Wellspring College, Lifeforte etc. that cost like 1.0m to 2.5m per child per annum to ensure they are well-equipped for the next stages of their lives and not be another LeonSaab.

- While at these schools, you will have to equip them with decent amount of electricity, laptops and access to internet.

- When they finish there, you want to send them to, at least, Top Nigerian public universities like UI, OAU, Unilag, UNN, ABU, Unilorin etc. or top private ones like Covenant, ABUAD, Pan-Atlantic, Babcock, Bowen etc. If you are sending them to a public university, you should be ready to pay good money for off-campus accommodation so they don't live in the pigsty hostels not fit for human habitation. These places would cost you about N700K to N2.5m per annum per child. You might also need to upgrade their gadgets by this time as those would be outdated.

- When they finish from Nigerian universities, most likely, it would make sense for them to go abroad for their masters. Preferably in UK, USA or Canada; but, at worst, in Ireland, South Africa, Cyprus, Turkey etc. These places would be costing you in the range of 12m+ per child for a one year masters.

- This is apart from the decent balanced diet meals to feed them daily and solidify their brain functions. And, if you want to be even better, at least take them on two overseas trips before they are 18 to make them both more exposed and be confident in society.

These are what it takes to build and almost guarantee a child in Nigeria today good prospects/chance of being competitive and not suffering in life in future.

Are you telling us that you have the secured a means and long-term path to deliver these to all your 4 children?

Worse still, I don't know the age gaps of your kids, but have you secured a means and long-term path to deliver these to all 4 children if they are all in secondary school or university at the same time?

Or how close to these standards can you provide for your 4 kids?

I am talking about reality on ground o, not delusional hopes and dependence on God's miracle/divine intervention/prayers?

Fair analysis for anyone who wants to have properly raised children. This compilation means the children would hit 25 years. So, for two children, both parties, especially the man have to invest 50 accumulated years of his earnings and energy into the project.

People think raising children in today's world na child's play.

lawkenoz:
Very apt, e get one very rich man from my place who is exactly like this. Intact he always looks forward to the wife travelling abroad to go visit the kids, he is already enjoying his retirement. Once the wife hears from the spy gateman she kept at the house that one small baby dey with oga, she go use speed teleport dey come back Naija. The man don jejely build another house for owerri where he dey go jolly when she travels. Anytime I'm in the east and he hears I'm around he calls me to come stay with him for a while. The man is enjoying his old age to the maximum. Just get money leave all the stories these women here dey cap. Funny enough he doesn't even care if his wife has a small boy servicing her, at that age few things bother the chairman. He's 82 now and just balling waiting for his clock to run out. He has cooks, care giver and everything he needs for his age.
Nah poor man dey worry if wife go dey around or not for him old age.

The man is someone I plan to emulate. However, some people do wish for companionship even till old age. But the koko is to ensure there is a continuous flow of cash till one kpeme.

Life is brutish for any man who lacks the finances to take care of himself.

Fujiyama:
^^^

Strange how nobody says that 'e go favour me' nonsense anymore.
Reality has set in.

I am glad it has stopped. I'm not too fond of the way Nigerians use religious parlance to mask or deviate from issues. But honestly, it seems things are tougher than I envisaged.

Kingrshd3:
Are u serious

Yes na. India is worse than Nigeria. It is just that since there more than a billion, the news of them doing well in some areas make it seem the rest are doing well. China is way much better and has progressed over time than India.

tensazangetsu20:
E no reach again. You go need to pay for flight ticket, feeding and rent at least one year. People are complaining of not seeing job for a year in Canada and UK and it will take time to find job In Brazil especially when you don't speak the language o. One should be ready or the kind suffering wey dey wait them outside eh. Suffer dey abroad too o. I will never advise anybody to leave Nigeria without a year of rent and feeding money at hand. If you also don't have any skills to be able to find a job abroad. You are better off staying back in Nigeria.

Everyone cannot leave Nigeria. If people don't have the in-demand skills and are married with children, let them use the money for something else. Abroad is good when one is young, single and has in-demand skills. Aside from these, please stay in Nigeria.

AdisaMighty:
There are still some people enjoying in Nigeria and are not “thieving”.

Of course, there are people making money legitimately in Nigeria, but enjoying? I would say no.

This thread: https://www.nairaland.com/7496716/what-exactly-does-one-enjoy

It got to the FP and from the responses, the major thing financially comfortable men enjoy in Nigeria is easy access to cheap sex. Nothing else. You can go through it. Sex was the major response.

004gist:
Most jobs here in uk to be precise are care work which is somehow like giving care to elderly..assisting in washing, preparing meal,cleaning and changing of nappies. Nurses.. Working in hospitals Then factory work where u work as unskilled workers.. This is for the strong because it's standing Security...nighy watch Carpenters, plumbing etc hand work Office jobs are few and are mostly occupied by the British or those who knows their system and ascent... Like bank work, mangers etc. Note that UK don't produce much.. They import shoes,cloths, electronics etc from China and Co but healthcare give it to UK

That is the issue with the UK - a low manufacturing base. This means the good or okay jobs aren't enough to go around the natives let alone immigrants. Even the pharmaceutical industry isn't that strong. The tech sector nko? Also, with English as the national language, one gets many competitors everywhere.

I can imagine the situation.

He has an impressive profile, and more so, for a black man who studied and worked in Northern Europe.

What a loss!

Sapasenator:
I doubt if protests will have any meaningful impact on the conditions in Nigeria, take endsars for example, has anything changed in police brutality? The biggest time to protest was during the last election with your PVC or the next election, Imagine APC failing for 8 years and getting rewarded to lead the country again.

These people know you guys are toothless bulldogs and cowards. All barks and no bites and I kid you not, the politicians could literally rap*e every citizen of Nigeria in the as*s and still win the elections.

Suffering and smiling !

Protests cannot work in Nigeria. Even ENDSARS protests never occurred in the north. There has never been a unified protest across the country. OccupyNigeria only happened in the Southwest and North. I recall NOI said the country lost 350BN every day, which could have been more if those in the East (South South and Southeast) joined the protests.

That is one of the ills of an ethnically and religiously heterogeneous country.

Every day on my Facebook timeline, Instagram and Twitter, I see weddings, parties and ceremonies organised by people back home. Anyone marrying or having children, in my books, is not suffering. So, I am yet to believe that Nigerians are suffering to the point of death. Most of my classmates are doing well for themselves. Some are doing okay. My major issue is the insecurity. It makes long-term capital investment a dicey situation.

leisuretym:
Go to farm, you all abandoned farms and troop to Abuja, Lagos, PH, Kano, expecting ghosts to plant Yam, beans and tomatoes

After hailing yeyebreties on social media, watch tiktok and insult each others on twitter, you expect manna to fall from heaven, arrant nonsense, you ain't see nothin yet

Very soon, those exporting rice and spaghetti to feed you will ship it elsewhere, by the time you start dragging grass with goats, you guys will have sense and go back to farm

When people state the bold, I wonder if they don't read the news. Fulani herdsmen are DESTROYING people's hard-earn investments. This "go-to-farm" ideology has been followed by Nigerians during the twilight of GEJ's tenure till Buhari's tenure around 2016/7. What happened afterwards? Fulani herdsmen wrecked, hacked and maimed farmlands and humans. So, why do you expect people to farm again?

004gist:
Even in the abroad it's not easy. Most jobs are shift patterns.. Some week u go see shift some weeks u no go see.

Most Nig abroad only very tiny work in office patterns rest are low unskilled jobs

A recent UK phenomenon. Or is it also the same with previous Nigerian migrants living in the country? Those from 2005 - 2015.

cococandy:
I was just guessing obviously.

He got a degree before he met his wife and so what? lol

He must be your family member this one you’re so adamant in supporting his misbehavior.

How hard can it be to accept injustice in the name of religion ?

And I thought you were one of the reasonable ones. Damn I got bamboozled. Shame on me

Because I focused on the legality of what a man did? I am glad I am not on Nairaland to make anyone happy.

Well, we agree to disagree.

GloriousGbola:
last year i was in a partnership with two other partners. i put in 101% to make projects move. then we had a small issue and one of us basically pulled out , cutting us off from a lot of business. i had neglected several other opportunities because of this. i am still angry to this moment. today he is pushing business back our way possibly because his other options did not work out. i am much cooler and indifferent and uncommitted and i am still angry. he too can throw all the legal grammar but the summary is he behaved like an entitled asshole. i say this because i was pissed after commuting myself for two years. now what do you expect the reaction of a woman who put in 14 years and who made sacrifices and was fully commited?

incidentally, every other day you are going on about how we are a backward society and how oyibos and asians all have their shit together. so pray tell do the oyibos and asians whose culture you celebrate so much celebrate polygamy? is this how western society grew - where instead of consolidating and building on your successes, you chose to increase your expenses and potential liabilities? 90% of nigerian men, once they see money, instead of finding some asset to invest in they run out and marry another wife, increasing our already burgeoning population and putting more pressure on themselves

we are all reading about the mess abiola has left behind because he had so many children. so where was the forward thinking?

Thank you for your write up. Regarding the West and East Asians, they also have mistresses. Just wanted to point that out. Also, these societies are not Islamic.

Also, Malaysian Muslims don't take up second wives nor do Indonesian Muslims. Singaporean Muslims rarely take up another wife because of living costs. However, in all of these countries, polygamy is legal. My stance has been on the legality. But it is good to read a more detailed and comprehensive rebuttal, this time, from a Yoruba Muslim.

GloriousGbola:
It is interesting listening to so many guys defending this. These are the guys who yak about the loyalty of their mothers all the time. So basically they are saying that they would have been cool fine and dandy with it if at the age of 12 or so your dad traded your mother in for an newer wife, and kicked your mother out leaving the usurper as your step mother and you as a second class human being in your home?

My stance is simple: Jarus is a Muslim and he has the right to marry up to four wives. Why deny or criticise him for doing so?

You are a Yoruba Muslim man as well. I am curious, is there anything culturally or religiously wrong that he did by wanting to marry another wife?

cococandy:
I wonder how long ago he took these pictures but you can tell this was probably when OG wifey was pouring into him. Helping him build up himself and his estate.
Now according to his NL fanboys, he’s a wealthy man. Who says he has to stick to the one who’s been there from the beginning?
Like G.G. said, they are really teaching women that loyalty is so suckers


PS this is a public picture on his profile. No rules broken

The picture was taken sometime in 2006/7. And he was single then. This man had a first class in Economics from OAU and got his first job way before he met his first wife.

In all of this, you people are accusing a man who wants to fulfil a part of his religion. This is not Yul or someone from Akwa Ibom. This is a Yoruba Muslim man who has decided to marry another wife. He is no different from the average Kano indigene or Saudi Arabian. If you so much hate polygamy, please don't marry a Muslim.

How hard can this be?

lastkingsman:
My issue with polygamy is not even religious, it's social and financial.

It's not cheap to raise kids in a quality way in these financial times (Some couples are now DINK - Dual Income, No Kids) coupled with women unlimited wahala.

Abeg one woman is ok, if I want to misbehave, let side chick suffer that one

Sure. The reason polygamy should be for well-to-do men. But the animosity most women, and surprisingly Muslim women as well, who are side chics have towards polygamy is nauseating and shows chronic selfishness.

Well, the best response is for young bachelors to vet their would-be wives.

anonimi:
His wife/singular.

That is not an explicit frown. The same way we have verses mentioning words like adultery, stealing, fornication etc., I want to see where polygamy was frowned upon as an act that detests God.

Anyway, better to marry another woman than have a harem of concubines which MANY Christian men, including pastors, do these days.

tensazangetsu20:
It's also a sin in Christianity to cheat so unfortunately I won't be able to once I get married.

There is nowhere in the bible where polygamy is explicitly frowned upon.

Tightpussy2024:
Nigerians may be poor but the poverty level is exaggerated. Go to clubs and see men splashing 12m in one night on drinks. If such a man have 6 women whose lifestyle he is sponsoring.very well then. Look at all the governors, politicians and their aides. If they have 5-6 women they are sponsoring. I am a personal friend to ned nwokos baby mama.
If women are wise enough to get the money of these women, start a business or travel abroad.Then a younger girl comes over. These unions rarely last years. In a rich man lifetime he will have at least 30 women he gave large sums to. The average woman should have a share of rich men if she is smart and half as beautiful. It makes sense.

Many women are doing this everywhere in the country. Especially my age group and upcoming Gen-Z. It was on Nairaland that I read that sex escorts drive G-Wagon, own houses in Lekki, travel abroad etc. Some of them have wealthy sugar daddies who sponsor their relocation. So, nothing really new. It is naive young men who don't know what's up.

But they will keep looking back like lots wife, hoping to settle down and secure the commitment of chibuike the civil servant, starting a monogamous relationship with him.

In my books, as long as the man provides for the family, does not transmit disease and does not bring forth another child (Muslims aside), if he wants to explore other women, it is fine by me. Even in the bible, monogamy was not rife nor was polygamy explicitly frowned upon. We have women saying broke/poor/unemployed men don't deserve sex. Fine. Their choices. But they don't have the right to suddenly restrict the same men from having as many women to themselves as they can afford. These women institute sex timetables for their husbands. Yes, we have married women using sex as a weapon. Tomorrow, innocent men will be criticized because they decided to explore while prostrate cancer dey finish men upandown (black men are the most affected group).

Additionally, a key issue here is modern women disregarding the basic biology behind men's quest for sex. The average man likes to have sex, that is just it. I live in a country where women are okay with men exploring as long as they provide for the family and do not bring a child from outside. I would be told, "oh, there are well-to-do men who don't explore". Obviously, in every rule, exceptions abound. But what are the odds in a poor country like Nigeria where sex is dirt cheap?

P.S. Nigeria is poor. The country does not begin in Lagos and ends in Abuja.

At the bolded, its high time you tell naija men, to stop a hysteria on women natural tendencies. We should stop making a national issue or state of moral decay or societal problem when women primal instincts come in. Not just in case of hypergamous but in procreation.

I have never criticised hypergamy and I have always stated everywhere that women are hypergamous. Men should not fight it. Just vet your woman. I have two topics which got to the FP with the blame on men for making Nigerian women who they are today.
https://www.nairaland.com/7684230/how-reduce-hook-ups-nigeria
https://www.nairaland.com/8064135/hook-up-girls-earnings-expenses-pictured

Here: I blamed Nigerian men (myself included) for not building a functioning society. https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women

I don't look at gender. I focus strictly on the root causes.

Women should be allow to procreate with whom they want. Talmabout paternity fraud. Sounds very harsh ba? This is what acting on primal instincts leads .We don't want to carry the babies of the man we marry. He was only convenient for us. All is fair in love and in war.

There is single parenting which is very popular. We have financially comfortable women having the freedom to get sperm from the banks to fertilise and have babies. Two, we have lesbians raising children. You see? Choices everywhere. Freedom yanfu-yanfu. However, when you bring another child into a man's house, anything you see, please take it like that. Also, when you marry a Muslim, know that his religion permits polygamy.

Again, choices and consequences (whether good or bad).

This is the anger of redpill, rejection of female nature and an outcry towards it, yet they want us accepting men nature!

May the best alfa meil and ndifeminismi win. Good luck to those involved.

tosinhtml:
Just for correctness of information.

Husband filed for divorce in 2019, married again 2022, the husband got divorced the 3rd time last year 2023 and then now another marriage 2024. Under 6months too, so it is less than 2 years.

Thanks for the correction.

Fair analysis till the point of worth. No methodology was outlined for assessing the net worth of each artist. So, how was it calculated?

cococandy:
No. slavery hasn’t been outlawed by Christianity.

Slavery was outlawed by the secular state. The government which is separate from the church outlawed. It wasn’t done on a religious basis.

Bigamy which is the act of marrying more than one wife is also outlawed by the secular state but people like you make excuses for Muslims who practice an illegal act simply because their religion permits it. As if their religion comes above the law of the land.But Christian religion doesn’t.

What you’re saying is the same as when someone reads the law against owning slaves and then turns around to say they support a Christian doing it because their religion permits it. You really don’t have an argument. We made a law but chose to exclude Muslims because we’re afraid they’ll rise up in violence. But the law against slavery will pertain to Christians because obviously people like you only support Muslims right to choose. Lol

Coco,

Please convert to Islam and be the change you seek. I will support you wholeheartedly.

Tightpussy2024:
That is why I said he will be made to compensate his wife heavily. I don't see that woman parting with less than 10m and a property. She should re-package herself and remarry( in Islam women can remarry as much, even grand mothers)

He did this already, which she declined. He respected her choice. Why not respect his?

Las las na gold diggers win the game of love . good woman no dey pay.mistresses are living better than wife . since time immemorial. A side chick gave Nigeria the name we have . this women are trained, groomed from birth.

Target top 20% of men in your youth, extract money from them and give your generation unborn a good life. They will refuse , with the "but no man will marry me after being the mistress or baby mama to rich man". Even if you don't want to go that route, become a fifth wife to a rich man. At least when he leaves you for a younger woman when your time expires , it will not pain you, because you didn't build. Why are ned nwokos wife not complaining? Because they didn't build. Just as you men believe that not all women deserve commitment, not all men should procreate . These dustys of men should not be given a chance to procreate.

Me? Waste my youth and money to build then another woman will come and enjoy? Similar to raising another man seed than having the real father come to claim. Naija women wise up. Package yourselves, tosh up . don't ignore your hypergamous nature with the hope of men ignoring their polygamous nature.

Actually, I have written extensively that Nigerian women should charge their men for sex. It is something I have written extensively. Nigerian men LOVE sex, so charge them very high.

For the first bold, good luck with that in a poor country. How many financially comfortable men are in Nigeria? Alternatively, they can remain single or marry a woman. I will support that right. I have mentioned countless times on Nairaland that if modern day women don't like what men do, they should not marry these men. Korean women are doing it. So, yes, Nigerian women can copy them.

Second bold, women have ALWAYS been hypergamous. There is nothing new under the sun. In fact, Nigerian women's hypergamy is small. Japanese and Singaporean women do theirs for a living. If they don't see financially comfortable men, they remain single for life. The same women are supporting Sharon Ooja for marrying a serial divorcee who divorced just two years ago. Very good decision by her. My own is that they should be consistent in their utterances. Don't criticise a Muslim man for exercising his right, legally and religiously permissibly, to another wife, but you frolick with a married man. That is exactly what one of Odanz's side chic did. People have to be consistent and honest. Don't change the goalpost.

That dirt-poor guy you are struggling with,is too poor to avoid polygamy. Let small change enter his hand and he will suddenly notice your stretch marks. You will suddenly find them in the DMs of girls they spend their youth criticizing .
Who are the women men are importing as second wives nowadays? You think it is the virtuous women they always applaud ? It is those hard gold diggers,hook up girls with plastic butts, divorcees and single moms! Are men not paying the school fees of divorcees and single mothers children while their wives are struggling to collect money from them?
A word is enough for the wise.

Oh yes, I support everything you have written here. The Right to Choose will always be supported by me. Just don't criticise or try to restrict them from exercising them.

cococandy:
Obviously it’s their business
But I’m referring to your post of supporting what people do of their religion permits it. Would you support a Christian slave owner? Clearly Christianity permits it.
Why are you cherry picking which religion you’ll support?

I do not support slavery in any form neither based on religion because in Christianity, my religion, it has been outlawed. By whom? Christians. Muslims should do whatever they want in Islam. It is their religion. I respect their right to do what they want provided it is legal in the country. In the country's constitution, it is permissible to marry more than one wife as a Muslim. In fact, in parts of Delta where Christianity is the dominant religion, three wives are permissible. Marrying another wife is not a criminal offence.

I have outlined solutions to the main issue. Korean women are doing theirs. Nigerian women or American women did not tell them what they to do. Muslim women should do what they want. They have the right to choose, just as their men. I will always support people's legal choices. I don't have to like you, but I will support your right to choose.

descarado:
Tell the Nigerian police that's already neck deep in the matter that one.
He use im mouth talk say im beat his wife.
Goodluck to him
Punch newspaper don carry the matter too.

Wonder how much he has in his account that you considered him rich.
And b3cuase he is rich according to you, he can beat his wife.
What a fish brain

NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

If you don't like it, go and sue him in court. When she climbed on his head nko? What if he died? Are you saying he has no right to defend himself? See, this is the innate dishonesty I hate in Nigerians and the hypocrisy of so-called modern women. You are seeing A and calling it B. This is a Yoruba Muslim who says he wants a second wife and the first wife objected. He placated her, which she refused. Is he the first Yoruba Muslim man to seek another wife? When she was doing juju in his house nko?

Call me Fish Brain whatever, but NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO HIM. He is entitled to FOUR WIVES as a MUSLIM man. If you don't like it, go to hell! Who the fvck do you think you are to dictate to a RICH (yes, he's rich!) Yoruba Muslim man to marry? Huh?! Are you a Muslim? What do you know about Islam?

Look, if it pains you so much, book a ticket to MMIA. It is six hours from the UK where you reside. Go to the courts to challenge a Muslim man from marrying another wife. Do it! Make Islam proud!

Imagine the temerity! If nothing happened to Bebex, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO JARUS!

Period!

Nice adventure.

The environment is pretty well designed for aesthetics. Here, infrastructure outside the city centre is designed for function rather than form mainly due to the prevalence of earthquakes. Provided it works, then it is okay. It does not have to be beautiful.

If the bicycle is not electric as I can see, how are you able to ride it for long distances? Also, how much (USD preferably)?