₦airaland Forum

It will soon be over, my dear......thank God for your own, sebi is party jolof rice you crave for, what of some who craves for strange objects like matching stick, small stones, etc.
Make God, your hubby and everywoman your companions and always bear in mind that.....it will soon be over.
May God help us all.

byvan: There is really no noticeable difference unless her episiotomy(if she had one)got infected along the line just like GreatGod2012 said or your guy is extremely small down there.There are positions that could help him,tell him to research on it.My mum had seven kids but my dad is still all over her,sodon't worry yourself about nothing.I can't tell the difference myself and I have had a couple.


@GreatGod2012,this kegel thing does it really work??I start it but always forget am doing it.Do you spare some time for it?The thought of expanded below gives me shivers when I think of a third a child.The op's friend's case can be corrected surgically,probably by a plastic surgeon.A gyno can't really do much about an expanded below.

yes o, it does, but you have to do it continuosly, especially after childbirth, for you to see its noticable effect.
May God help us all.

chaircover: I think its high time that a law is passed that no one lives with a married couple for the first 3 years of marriage.

when we were doing our premarital counselling, we were counselled not to allow any third party to live with us for d first 5 years of our marriage, and it works for us.......

Yes oo madam CC, always correct, just yesterday, my sister's kids came to play with my kids, and along d line, one of them was begging for biscuits from one of my kids, and d next thing i overheard my first kid telling him is...."dont you have self-esteem, why would you be begging for something, are you a policeman?"
and d other kid answered him....." what is soo special there, everyone begs for one thing or d other" and my kids replied....."noooooooo, its a lie, i have never begged for anything and i've never seen any of my parent begging for anything from anyone, so, its not everyone that begs"..........blah, blah, blah.....
so, op, d basis of my story is that, it lies with d parent, whatever you train your kid with is what he will grow up to be, ......."train a child d way he shall go and when hes old, he will not depart from it"
Anyone that begs cant possibly have that self-esteem and cant attract respect from pple, so, its our duty to teach our children self-esteem, its very important, lets always teach them to be self-dependent and self reliance rather than thinking that someone will help them to solve their problems.
May God help us all.

Heeeeeeeheeeeeee! This is beyond ordinary oooooooo
this is typical "ise aye" in action.
God, pls, deliver us from evil pple oooooo......... Amen.

May God deliver us ooooooo
why all these disgusting news now??
God, pls, have mercy on us and deliver us from evil pple......... Amen.

This is what we are saying, when you sense physical abuse, report d abuser and run for your life,.........life is always better than marriage, when there is life, there is hope, now that there is no life nko........i detest divorce, but when it comes to abuse, im 100% supportive of it, because, even me, im allegic to abuse and i cant advise anybody to endure abuse........had it been d woman had refused to live with this woman now, she would probably still be alive.....what a wicked MIL, what an height of jealousy, because, i believe, she was jealous of her DIL.
To d hubby, hes a very weak man, he knew they have not been knowing peace since his mum has been living with them, yet, refused to do something drastic about d matter until his mum kill his wife.........."boda ode"
well, may d dead rest in peace and her spirit torment d perpetrator (if possible).

Warfibabe: unfortunately we are living in a town where i know nobody.. not one single relative of mine lives here.. my friends are verrry far away.. my mil has some health related issues so would seem unfair to burden her at this point, and my dear sil dat would have really helped now, travelled since christmas to the u.s and her husband just tied her there.. i am even the one taking care of her kids right now.. then my husband? he loves to help but comma finish him side.. every tym he helps to bathe our son na fight cus he go just scrub the pickin like back of pot.. dat one will just wail and try to run out of his bath. feeding is a very normal disaster . i try to avoid asking for his help altogether if i can..lol!. at this point i am alone o! . but God dey.. i will try and do this on my own..and pray it works out fine.
thanks.

then, if that is it, you will have to be determined like what i did to my present baby, likely my last born .......because i was trying to extra care him as d last born, i didnt wean him on time, until one day he decided to embarrass me in public, pulling my clothes to have his way, then, he was 1.7yrs, i just decided i aint going to allow him to suckle again and that was it, though, it cost me about 3-4 days of vigil, but i didnt mind, in d evening, i make sure he's well fed, and when he wakes up in d night, i offered him tea, will drink and start crying, i will coldshower him and back him, that is how he would sleep off, by d fourth day, he started sleeping thruout d night, so, be determined and God will help you, this is one of d reasons it seems kids are usually closer to their mums.
May God help us all.

@ op im a mother, and i cant think of d last time i slapped my kids, not to talk of an adult, i guess your mum is naturally aggresive, what i will advise you is that, when you are both in good mood, walk up to her and tell her you have something that is really bothering you, and since you claim she loves you, she will want to give you attention, go to her, kneel down and tell her your mind, that you dont like d way she slaps or shout on you, let her know what you will likely do if such repeat itself, say whatever you want to say with all humility as well as with all seriousness, remind her that some of your mates are already mothers, and you dont believe somebody of your age should always be slapped like that.
Ask her if shes transfering d anger she has towards your dad to you, ask her if she will be happy if her own mother treat her like that at that age, ask her so many thought provoking questions, that she will know that she has actually gone beyond normal, let her know this is not d best way to correct you, even, if you err.
And one more thing, make sure you always behave well.
I wish you all d best.

@p, i love your positive approach towards your plan, may God continue to guide you, be with you and always give you reasons to be happy with your woman. Thanksgiving and testimonies will not cease from your household.

And me too!

D principal must be a religious bigot, that is why she was so bitter against d little girl, which is uncalled for.

[quote author=sasi_malia]LOL @OP, you sound so concerned
greatgod2012, its kegels exercises. I admit that this crossed the back of the mind a few times. Thanks for reassuring both OP and me lol.[/quote]im concerned because its one of d major cause of breakup in marriages. And thanks for reminding me d name.
It is well.

vikeb: Nice one greagod2012.Tks for the advice and assurance.Trully,I was deep I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ thoughts all thru y.day.Actually would be I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ the family line I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ less than two months as ♍y card is already out.Wld discuss wif ♍y wife to be on this cos she knows i dnt joke wif such and hold her S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ much I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ high esteem nd would always want to.But really wish to know much abt the exercise tho.God bless thee and Ūя̲̅ family.

you are welcome!
goggle "kegels exercise", you will get what you want and even related ones there.
Also, there are v.....agi.n.a thightning cream and soaps that some pple are using, i've never used one b4 o, but a friend of mine who uses it claims that she use to be like virgin each time she uses it,
And lest i forget, tell your friend to take his wife go see a doctor who specialises in such abnormality, i believe it can still be corrected, se..x is an essential part of marriage that shouldnt be joked with at all, or else, that marriage is on its way to collapse(God forbid). Thank you.
May God help us all.

MMotimo: As the Yorubas say "Ewo ni o ki n se omo?" Which one of them is not a child?

thank you jare,
@op, if you are still waiting after several years of your wedding, praying to God to answers your prayers, im sure you wont be bothered on d gender of d baby.
Anyway, any gender we get, may we not have cause to regret having them. That is my own.
May God help us all.

Yes, it starts with all of us, lets start sentitizing and orientating our children and our loved ones on how to detect and what to look out for in a potential abuser, if you in an abusive r/ship, do not wait till d person kills you, run out for you dear life, when you are abused, do not keep quite claiming shyness, shout out, report d perpetrators, all hands must now be on deck to ensure that perpetrators do not go scotfree.
May God help us all.

First of all, get a source of income, its not easy to maintain marriage, without a regular source of income.
That been said, sit your wife to be down and ask her what type of wedding she want, ask her, if you are unable to fund for marriage this year, will she wait for you?
If you both are on d same level, as to go for a small wedding ceremony, then, after you've made a little money, u can settle down, with a very low wedding ceremony, probably traditinal and court wedding, but if she is d type that want a big wedding, then, you are on a long thing.
Also, ask her what she plans to do after marriage, does she want to be a full house wife or a working class wife, if a full house wife, then you will have to have a lot of money b4 going into such marriage, if a working class, what type of job, salary paying job, or self employed, all these questins will help you to know where you are and where you are going.........let there be a continuous and effective and meaningful communication with you always, it will enable d two of you to have one mind towards each other.
How about your family and her family, hope you dont have problem with her folks and she doesnt have with your folks, these are likely places where wall can be opened without any of you knowing.
Also, talk about an extended family living with you.....its a no, no, no for me and it should also be for you if both of you really want to get along peacefully.
Also about where to keep your head, you may not necessarily go for a 3/4 bedroom apartment for now, you can be managing a room and parlour, and when d money start trooping in, you can then change to your taste of house.
In conclusion, always be open with each other, be honest with her, let her always know your next step, so that she will know that you are not taking her for granted and that you are not wasting her time unnecessarily.
Above all, invite God into your relatinship, pray always, because, everything in this life, whether good or bad needs prayer.
May God help us all.

It depends on so many factors like readiness of d two parties, maturity level, financial capability, independence spirit, age(sometimes), parental influence, etc.
To some, it takes them 2 years, some 5 yrs, some 9 yrs even more sometimes. So, it depends on individuals involved, but i will advise that the two of them is readily matured b4 going into marriage, because marriage aint children's play o.
May God help us all.

Let your friend save her own earnings for d future and make d hubby to provide almost everything they need in d house, im sure after attending to all d needs in d house, he wont have much to waste.
The future is so uncertain and scary that one cannot afford not to have savings.
May God help us all.

The woman must have gotten infected, maybe, during childbirth or afterwards, and didnt take care of herself.
Dont worry yourself too much, your friend's case is an exemptionally rare case, childbirth usually dont leave women with enlarged p..ussy, except something went wrong, that place is like elastic, during childbirth, it extends and after, go back to its normal size, but d woman really need to take care of herself, involve in relevant exercises, if need be(i cant remember d name of d exercise now, but i do it often, it helps to tighten d place) and it has helped a great deal.......im happy and proud to tell you that, after, 3 kids, my hubby sometimes complain that, "why is this place tight like this as if no baby has passed thru d place?"
so, rest your mind, childbirth will not debar you from enjoying your wife, its even approved by God to enjoy your wife, so no cause for alarm.
May God help us all.

@sisikill, im sure all these links, no be for our obodo naija o?

alutacontinua: sotey u even forgot to say "May God help us all"

abeg, no be my fault, na that story cause am o, on a serious note, dont you think d story get as e be, e get some story wey be say u go just forget all your slang patapata, instanta.......this one na pangba.......it just dey make me laugh and at d same time....think say which kain life be this ..........o.k.
May God help us all.

If all methods highlighted above have failed, trust me, this cant fail, if only you will be able to do it, that is what i did to my first baby....here we go.......
If you have a trusted friend or relative or your mum, or MIL, then, drop him with them for at least 5 days, do not go there at all, pack everything he will need along, d biscuits, drinks, beverages and all sorts, his dad or your BIL/SIL may be going there to check on him daily but not you durng those periods, i tell you, by d time he will come back, he would have forgotten about bosom.......but dont remind him again, by dressing or offdressing in his presence, dont bath with him, dont sleep together with him without your br.a and cloth on.
This is what i did for my first baby, when he was 1+ and refused to even take any other thing apart from breast milk.......so, i invited my mum to come pick him to her place.....he spent a week there, i learnt it was only d first night that he cried, afterwards, he just dey cooperate dey go.......and his dad was there for about 5 times, even d day he came back, it was his dad that brought him back....i tell you......maturity instantly set in, he didnt even remember anything about bosomfeeding again.
Try it.
May God help us all.

If its actually your hubby that gave out your payslip to his friends to see, then, sorry to say this.........your hubby need a lot of growing up to do. Maturity wise, he is not suppose to have been married.
And as for you, you dont have to give anyone your payslip b4 you prove your openess, just say it, and if there has been trust in your marital relationship, no need for any evidence to justify your words.
May God help us all.

lizfab: My 32 years old male cousin still lives in his father's house. He doesn't have a job and he has not bothered to look 4 one. All hell will be let loosed whenever food is not served on time.

he need help ASAP.
I blame those who still serve him food.........you pple better start fastings and prayers on his behalf, so that chain of laziness and shamelessness will be broken in his life.
May God help us all.

Good for her, abi?

I will suggest a mental (brain) check-up for d young woman, there is every possibility for her to be insane.

fellis: Surprisingly if you visit foreign sites you are likely to find many people supporting the mother's actions and showing outrage over her arrest.
Those people and their funny ways of life.

very funny way of life indeed, this is another example of their funny way of life https://www.nairaland.com/1204445/kid-calls-police-avoid-bedtime

These tips can help you socially.......
1. Relax yourself, do not look at pple's face, just face front , when you are to speak in public.
2. Dont avoid what frightens.....face your fear and conquer it.
3. Switch off your imaginations.......dont ever think about what pple think or say about you.
4. Focus your mind on positive instructions,.
5. Be yourself......do not try to immitate anyone, do whatever you want to do in your own way, so as to make a landmark and be unique .
May God help us all.

lashontae: ^^
Na! He ain't going nowhere. Got the nukka on lockdown and he don't get done till I'm done!
And I'm not! Lol!

Also know how to draw out an apology from him. Was just being good and waiting for him to do it of his own volition.

and since you know this, why did you have to come to NL to narrate how you are

Some pple are very funny sha, op inclusive, you want financial help but not ready to share what your problem actually is..........very funny!
May God see you through then.

Warfibabe: my dear i have berra tins to do than fabricate stories.. every story must be nollywood story?.. it is up to you to believe or not.. The is a very unusual one, which is why i posted it here.. the woman is not even Nigerian btw.
thanks.

abeg, no be fight o, i just find it difficult to believe that two women can be fighting over who d real owner of an unborn baby is.

Very hilarious, that woman better be taken to a psychatric hospital, b4 her case get out of hand.

And this is one major reason why many over there send their kids to Nigeria for proper training.

Over there, there is too much freedom, you cant train your kid d way you like, if you try it and it doesnt go well with d kid, he calls d cops on you, what da hell is d meaning of that?
There, you see a kid, standing up to his dad and ask......dad, are you crazy!......who born you for here, you go smell pepper, abeg, africa (nigeria) is d best place to train your children.